Damage (7 page)

I hesitated. Ronnie had said she was scared of Max finding her, and I'd assumed he was abusive. “Are you a cop?” I asked.

He snorted. “I'm a teacher. But I called the cops, if that's what you mean. I didn't want to, but she wouldn't return my calls or my texts. No one knew where she'd gone. Which, frankly, I wouldn't care about at this point. But she took Zach.”

I was slowly putting the puzzle pieces together. It wasn't the car that she'd stolen.

It was the kid.

Chapter Eleven

I picked Zach up and sank back down onto the chair with him on my lap. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Freaking out wasn't going to help. Besides, it wasn't really stealing if it was your own kid, was it? And no matter what she'd done, Ronnie was Zach's mother. “You have shared custody?” I said. “And she took off?”

“I have sole custody,” he said grimly. “Ronnie has a visit with Zach every Saturday. She's supposed to have him back here by five, but this week she never showed up. I've been frantic. Where the hell are you?”

“Yeah. Uh, I just found her phone and saw all your texts.” How was I supposed to know if he was telling the truth? Sure, Ronnie had lied about some stuff, but that didn't mean I could trust Max.

“Is she there, really? I mean, does she just not want to talk to me? Because all I care about is getting Zach back here, safe.”

“She really isn't here. She went out last night. I said I'd look after Zach. She was supposed to be back, but... well, she isn't.”

“She's drinking,” he said.

“That's unfair. You don't know that.” In my mind, I was seeing Ronnie's face. I was seeing the way she had of looking up at me with her long-lashed eyes, her lips curved into a smile. “She just needed a break, okay? She was tired, and Zach was fussing. She just needed a bit of time to herself.”

“Look, you don't have to tell me. I loved her. Still do, in a way.” Max sounded tired and sad, more heartbroken than angry. “This is what she does. She'll be back eventually, in an hour or two, or a day or two, or a week. She'll apologize and she'll cry and she'll swear up and down that it'll never happen again. And you'll believe her, because it's so obvious that she means every word. And for a few weeks, everything will be fine. You'll think, maybe this time she'll keep it together, you know? But sooner or later...” I could almost hear his shrug over the phone. “It's why we split up.”

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to trust him, but there was something in his voice that told me he was telling the truth.

“So, where are you?” he asked. “I'll drive over and get Zach.”

“We're in LA, actually.”

There was a stunned silence. “Did you say LA? As in California? She took Zach to
California
?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“She took him out of state. Damn.” He sounded dazed. “I can't believe she took him out of state.”

I felt guilty as hell. I'd been the one behind the wheel most of the way. “I had no idea,” I say. “I mean, I thought she was a single mom, you know? I didn't mean to...well, to...”

“Help her kidnap my kid?”

“No. I mean, come on. It's not kidnapping. I mean, she is his mom.”

“It's kidnapping,” Max said. His voice was harsh. “Most kidnappings are committed by the noncustodial parent. Bet you didn't know that, huh?”

I could hardly breathe. “But she won't, you know, go to jail. Or stop being allowed to see Zach. Or...” My eyes were stinging.

He didn't reply right away, and when he did, his words didn't make me feel any better. “Where are you?” Max said. “Give me the address. I'm going to get the first flight I can.”

Zach leaned his head back against my chest. I put my free hand on the top of his head and stroked his dark curls. His hair was feather-soft. I imagined how Ronnie must have felt, taking him home every Saturday evening and not seeing him all week.

I didn't agree with what she'd done, but I could see why she'd done it.

“Theo?” Max said. “I need the address.”

I moved the phone away from my ear and stared at it. Just an ordinary white phone in a pink case, but I felt like I was holding a hand grenade. I just had to pull the pin and Ronnie's life would never be the same. I could hear Max's voice coming from the phone, low and urgent.

This was his kid sitting on my lap, I reminded myself. His kid. Not just Ronnie's.

I looked down at Zach. He had one fat fist clenched around a handful of raisins, as if he'd forgotten he had them. He looked a bit like Ronnie, with his long dark eyelashes and full lips. I took a deep breath, feeling torn. I wanted to do the right thing, but what the hell was that? Keeping Zach away from his father, who obviously adored him? Or letting Max know where Zach was—and getting Ronnie arrested for kidnapping?

It seemed to me that anything I did would be wrong. I didn't want to hurt anyone—there had already been enough damage done.

I guess it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I just needed time to think.

So I hung up the phone.

It started to vibrate again immediately. I stood up, hoisted Zach onto my hip and dropped the phone back into Ronnie's bag. My mouth was dust-dry, but my hands were wet with sweat.

I had to talk to Ronnie. I had to make her see that she couldn't just run away from her problems. Maybe, if she called Max herself, she could explain. Make him understand, convince him not to take legal action...

A phone rang, and I almost jumped out of my skin before I realized that the ringing was coming from Joelle's room. It wasn't Ronnie's phone. I should have known that, since hers was still set on vibrate. Then the ringing stopped and I heard Joelle's muffled voice. I blew out a long sigh of relief. “Maybe that's Ronnie, huh? Maybe she's calling Joelle to say she's on her way home.” I sat back down in the chair with Zach, perching him on my knees and bouncing him up and down. “How about a horsey ride, kiddo? Bumpity-bump, bumpity-bump.”

Zach gave a little squeal of delight. “Moh!”

“You want more? Okay! Bumpity-bump, bumpity-bump...”

Joelle stumbled out of her bedroom, wearing nothing but a tank top and underwear, bleary-eyed under a tousled mess of blond hair.

I stopped bumpity-bumping. “What is it? Was that Ronnie?”

“Max,” she said. “That was Max. When you told him you guys were in LA...well, I guess he figured Ronnie only had one friend down here.”

“Oh crap. I didn't mean to...” I banged the heel of my hand against my forehead. I guess it was kind of a corny, melodramatic gesture, but it felt sort of good. I did it again, harder. “I didn't give him your address.”

“Yeah. That'll take him about thirty seconds online.” She shrugged, palms turned up in a what-can-you-do kind of gesture. “He's on his way. He'll be on the first flight he can catch.”

Chapter Twelve

I hugged Zach so tight, he began to squirm. “What should we do?”

Joelle sighed. “Nothing. Wait, I guess.” She picked a pair of flannel pants off the floor and pulled them on.

“Is Max an okay guy? I mean, was he abusive or anything like that?”

She gave me a puzzled look. “God, no. The guy was patient to a fault, you know? He stuck with her through all kinds of crap. I kept telling Ronnie, ‘Don't screw this up.'” She shrugged. “Not that I'm saying it was all her fault that they split up. But...” “She has a drinking problem,” I said flatly.

Joelle bit her bottom lip. “I tried to tell you, but I didn't want to sound like I was bad-mouthing her, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” What was it about Ronnie that made us all want to protect her? It wasn't just that she was beautiful, or smart, or funny. There was something about her—a vulnerability, I guess. Maybe I was being sexist, but underneath the attitude and the independence, she seemed sort of fragile. “You said you guys go way back.”

“We've been best friends since junior high. We played softball together. We were both total tomboys, if you can believe that.”

“Seriously?” Back when Ronnie used to babysit me, she had long hair and wore tight T-shirts, tall leather boots and thick black eyeliner.

Joelle laughed. “We were twelve. It didn't last long.” She stopped laughing abruptly and sat down on the arm of my chair. “How well did you know her?”

“Not at all, really.” I looked down at Zach, who was unusually quiet. His eyes were half-closed. I lowered my voice, hoping he might drift off to sleep. “I was a kid, she was a teenager. Different worlds. She was nice to me. Took an interest in my projects, acted out
Star Wars
scenes with my action figures. I thought she was amazing, but I didn't know anything about her life.”

“Her parents were alcoholics,” Joelle said bluntly. “Both of them. Her dad put away a couple of martinis and a bottle of wine every night. His liver must be shot by now, but he had some big job and made tons of money. I don't think people outside the family even knew he had a problem.”

“And her mom?”

“She drank like Ronnie does. Nothing at all for weeks, then she'd binge.” Joelle shook her head. “Ronnie never talked about it, but I remember going over to her place after school one day. Her mom was completely out of it, stumbling around the house and shouting at Ronnie, trying to hit her, calling her really foul names. We were fourteen, I guess. It was awful.”

“It sounds like it.” Lately, I'd been giving my parents a hard time about their daily happy hour, but my objections seemed kind of petty now. Sure, it was annoying that they thought a daily drink was fine while Koli's smoking pot was apparently the end of the world—but to be fair, I'd never seen either of them have more than two drinks. I'd never seen them drunk.

“Yeah. My mom said Ronnie could stay with us anytime. Ronnie was mad that I had told, but after that she did stay with us a lot.” Joelle shrugged. “Then when we were sixteen, Ronnie's dad got transferred and they moved to Seattle. I think things with her family went downhill after that.”

“Didn't sound like it could get much worse,” I said.

“No kidding.” Joelle leaned toward me. “Zach's out cold. You want to put him down on my bed?”

I nodded, stood up with him in my arms and carried him into her room. Joelle pushed the covers to one side and I put Zach down in the middle of her bed, with pillows on both sides so he wouldn't roll off. His eyelashes were dark spiky lines against his flushed cheeks. He looked perfect. Everything was still possible for him, I thought, if only the adults in his life didn't screw it all up.

“He's pretty sweet,” Joelle said.

“Yeah. Especially when he's sleeping.” I followed Joelle back out to the living room, still thinking about what she had said. “So if Max shows up, we just give Zach to him?”

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, Ronnie's not here, is she? And I can't look after her kid. Besides, Max has custody. Did Ronnie tell you that?”

“No. Max did though.”

“I couldn't have ratted on Ronnie to him, but honestly, Theo, this is probably a good thing. He's a lot more stable than she is. I mean, she's a good mom in lots of ways, and she adores Zach, but if she keeps coming apart like this, how can she take care of a kid?”

“Yeah. I get it.”

She yawned. “I'm sorry, but I've got to crash. I'm going to join Zach, okay? Wake me up if...well, if Ronnie shows up, I guess.”

“Okay.” I wasn't sure what to hope for. I couldn't imagine just handing Zach over to his dad without even talking to Ronnie, but on the other hand, how was I going to tell her what I had done?

I flopped back into the armchair and closed my eyes. My whole body ached with tiredness. I'd slept last night, but not well, and I'd been up driving right through the night before. Still, it wasn't the lack of sleep that was making me feel like I'd been hit by a truck. It was Ronnie.

How could I be so crazy about her and so angry with her at the same time? And how could she be so perfect and such a mess? I found myself remembering what she'd said as we drove into LA, something about polluted cities having the best sunrises. She was kind of like this city, in a way. So much glamour and gorgeousness, yet, underneath it, so much desperation.

I should call my parents, I thought tiredly. Let them know I wouldn't be getting on the bus this morning. They'd argue, but I wasn't too worried about that. My problems with my parents felt so distant from the mess I was dealing with here—and so trivial compared to what Ronnie had run away from. When I got home, things would be different. Darrell was right—I couldn't change them, so I'd just have to learn not to take it all so personally. The way forward didn't seem half as complicated as the miles behind us. After all, there were worse things than having your parents worry about you.

I yawned so widely that my jaw cracked. In a minute, I'd call. In a minute...

Chapter Thirteen

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, the living-room door slammed and then Ronnie was standing in front of me, her dark hair wild and uncombed, her mascara smudged under her eyes. “Where's Zach? Is he okay?”

I struggled to get up. “Fine. He's asleep in Joelle's room.” I caught her arm. “Don't go in there. Joelle's sleeping too. Besides, we need to talk.”

“I know.” A tear traced a pale path through her ruined makeup. “I'm so sorry, Theo. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to be gone so long. Honestly, I was only going to take a little break. But...”

“But then you started drinking.” If I'd had any doubts, they were gone now. I could hear the slur in her speech. I could smell the booze and the cigarettes on her breath.

“I'm sorry.” She gave a hiccupping kind of sob. “I'm such a goddamn mess, Theo.”