Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel) (8 page)

“Yes, Father,” I say.

Zarya slides onto Father’s lap and bounces. “Please allow me to explore with Dammy tomorrow, Father. Please!”

He smiles and taps her nose. “What do you say, Kiandra? Do you believe our little darling is old enough to explore the sea with her eldest brother?”

Mother places her hand on her chin as though she is contemplating an extremely hard problem. “I am not certain. Perhaps if she showed she is mature…”

“Yes, I will show you,” Zarya says, bounding off Father and swarming toward Mother. “What must I do?”

Mother gestures to her toys lying on the floor. “Pick up your toys and place them neatly in your room.”

“Yes, Mother!”

She gathers every one of her toys and hurries to her room. She returns not two seconds later. “What else?”

“You may clean up our toys,” Syndin says.

She sticks out her tongue.

“You may help me clean up the fish bones,” Mother tells her.

“All right!” She grabs a small oyster shell and begins to place the fish bones inside.

Father kisses the top of her head before swimming to the oyster shells. He chooses two large ones, hands one to me, then motions for me to follow him outside. The Sapphire colony, like every day, is active, with many children of the sea swimming about. Father and I leave the colony and make way to the exit of the entire colony. We approach the Sentinels, and I find Fiske amongst them.

Once he lays eyes upon us, he hurries over and inclines his head.
My greetings, Syren and Damarian
.

Father slightly lowers his head.
My thanks for locating my son and bringing him home safely
.

Of course
.

I touch Fiske’s head so that he and I can hold a private conversation.

Has your father scolded you?
Fiske asks.

No, but he will shortly
.

It will be all right. He was quite concerned about your welfare
.

I do not know why, but I feel a strange sensation in my stomach. Father is not one to show emotion, at least not to me. He is extremely affectionate with Zarya and Mother—and he tries to behave in the same manner with Doria—but Doria is not one to show a lot of affection. Father does not show me the same. The fact that he was concerned about my welfare yesterday touches my heart.

Are you now a member of the Sentinels
? I ask Fiske.

Not yet. They still do not believe I am old enough. I am merely observing
.

I rub his head.
You will be a fine Sentinel, Fiske. I am sure of it.

Thank you
.

I rub his head again before swimming to Father’s side. He and I leave the colony and head toward a location abundant with fish. We do not speak during our journey. Fortunately, it is not long before we reach our destination.

There are many species of fish in this area. Each member of our family is fond of a different breed, and we try to gather as many as possible to please everyone. Father and I lay our oyster shells on the sea floor and face our prey. I have hunted for fish since I was a fry and am quite skilled in this act. I relax my body and raise my arms as gently as possible so that I will not startle them. Once I locate a fish that seems weaker than the rest, I surge toward it, grab it, and bite into the left side of its head. That causes the swiftest and least painful death. I place the fish in my oyster shell and move onto the next one.

Father and I work in silence. After I have acquired enough fish from this area, I swim to another one, though not too far from Father. I admit I enjoy the solitude, for I do not feel as though Father will reprimand me at any given moment.

When my shell is half-full, Father joins me in this new location and continues hunting. It does not take him too long to say, “Were you aware of the consequences of your actions?”

The truth is that I was
not
aware of the consequences of my actions. All I was concerned with was swimming as far away as possible from the life I did not want.

“The mating ceremony was set to occur yesterday morning,” Father says in the most disappointed tone I have ever heard on his lips. “What do you suppose the royal family thinks?”

As I swam into the storm, the last thought on my mind was what the royal family thought. But perhaps I should have taken them into consideration. It was beyond rude of me. “I apologize, Father.”

“I had to invent excuses!” Father throws a fish into his shell. “I told them you were too ill and needed rest.”

“Father—”

“What is your wish, Damarian? That the princess choose another mate?”

Is that my wish? I do not know.

Father swims closer to me and rests his hands on my shoulders. “We have been striving for this all your moons.
All your moons
. One error and we may lose it all.” He removes his hands and turns toward the fish. “Please do not disappoint me.”

He continues to hunt. I merely watch him, unable to make sense of my thoughts. He has instilled in me all my moons that it is my duty and destiny to take Princess Flora as a mate and take the crown. At times, it felt as though Father cared more for the crown than he did for me. Now that I am no longer a fry, I understand why he has wished this for me. Because I am the true heir to the throne, and Father wants what is best for me. If he believes my taking the throne is what is best for me, then perhaps I need to believe him.

I swim closer and touch his arm. “Forgive me, Father. I apologize for my behavior. It is…what I mean is… I am not certain I am prepared to be king.”

Father eyes snap to mine, and they are stern. “You have nearly reached your two hundred and fortieth moon.”

“Yes, but I wish to have a little more time. Once I become king, I will no longer live in the Sapphire colony. I will live at the palace, in Eteria, a far distance from you, Mother, and the family. I will not be able to spend time with Zarya, the twins, and Kiander and Doria. I will no longer be able to spend time with my friends. I will be tied to the crown. The sea and her inhabitants will be my upmost priority. It is a grave responsibility, Father.”

For the first time in all my moons, it seems Father is contemplating my words. He floats in his place, paying no attention to some fish who hit his face. Finally, he says, “I suppose it has not occurred to me how frightening this is for you.”

“Yes.” I lower my eyes to my tail. “I am indeed frightened.” I raise my head to Father. “You were well acquainted with Mother before you mated. Why can I not have the same?”

Father lowers his hand to my shoulder. “You are correct, my son. I will speak to the king and queen later today and ask them to postpone the mating ceremony for a few days. That shall give you enough time to prepare yourself and familiarize yourself with your future mate.”

A few days is not a lot, but I suppose it will have to do. And I do not know why, but the face that enters my mind is not Princess Flora’s, but Cassie Price’s. I quickly shake my head. “Thank you, Father.”

He nods, then focuses his attention on the fish. We continue working in silence until Father says, “Do you know why I am granting you permission to take Zarya exploring with you tomorrow?”

I shake my head. In the past, Father and I have taken Zarya on small travels, though they never satisfied her. The little fry wishes to set out on a grand adventure.

“It is because I wish for you to realize how important you are to your siblings,” Father says. “It is my wish that you be an example. You are the eldest and it is your responsibility.”

I feel my eyebrows descend. “I do not understand. What example do you wish for me to be?”

He throws his hands upward. “What do you think they think when they see their eldest brother disregarding his duty? They admire you, Damarian. They look up to you. You must set a positive example.”

“What do you expect from your other fry?” I ask. It is Father’s wish that I mate with the princess and take the throne, but I have not known him having expectations of my siblings.

“It is the wish of your mother and I that every one of our fry find a mate and produce fry.”

I grunt and turn away from him. “Is that all, Father? Surely that is not all you wish for them.”

“It is a serious matter! What is your wish? That Zarya’s mind be filled with exploring the sea and other nonsense and never choose a mate? Never live a happy life?”

It feels as though seaweed has been trapped in my throat. No, certainly it is my wish that one day—in the distant, distant future—Zarya will choose a mate and live a blissful life. I do not wish for her to be constantly away from home, constantly in danger. I would rest easier knowing she was in the safety of the colonies. But if it is her desire to explore the ocean, I shall not hinder her. All I wish for her, for all my siblings, is to be happy.

I study Father. His hair is a different shade than mine and my siblings, for our coloring comes from the combination of both him and Mother. The length of it is much longer than mine—he has lived many, many moons. But he and I are so similar in appearance. He and I both wish for the same outcome—that our family be happy. Father is right, perhaps I am the one placing these thoughts in Zarya’s head. All my life I have wished to explore the sea, and that must have caused Zarya to develop a love for it as well. I cannot imagine living peacefully with the knowledge that my littlest sister is out exploring in the deepest and blackest of waters.

Father is correct—I must set a positive example for my siblings. If Zarya still chooses to explore the sea and not find a mate and have fry, that will be her decision and not due to my influence.

“You carry the utmost responsibility,” Father says. “Taking the crown—the crown that belongs to our clan. Our family, Damarian. I am the true king. You are the true heir. Mother is the true queen and your siblings are the true princes and princesses. The Violets have carried the crown for far too long. It is your duty to retrieve it.”

Yes, I am aware of this. Quite aware of this. And my taking the crown will not only return the kingdom to the true family, it will make peace between all the clans. For once two members of different clans unite, there will no longer be one ruling clan. And as the moons pass, the clans will merge and become one species, as it should be.

“I understand, Father.”

I sit on a stone chair outside my home, attempting to ignore Father’s words. It is not my fault I was born eldest. Why is it my duty to set an example for my siblings?

Are my thoughts selfish? I do not intend them to be. All this responsibility…I do not know if I can bear it.

The face of the lovely Cassie Price floats before me. When I was on land with her, I did not feel the weight of my responsibilities. Nothing mattered, only the conversations she and I shared. I smile as the memories enter my head. I do not remember the last time I smiled in this manner, other than when I shared my time with Zarya.

“Damarian?”

I look in the distance and notice Neren heading in my direction. His hand clutches the one of a female Violet. Pelina. She and I have met on occasion, though I do not know her well. Many of the Sapphires stare at her tail as she and Neren move closer to me. She will not be ostracized for visiting my clan, but she will be stared at in this manner until she leaves. It is not often that a Violet enters our colony.

Like all the Violets, Pelina has long, dark brown hair. It is similar to the Princess’s, but also quite dissimilar, for every child of the sea has a different shade. Though she appears somewhat apprehensive for swimming in the Sapphire colony, I cannot mistake the happiness that has overtaken both her and Neren’s faces.

“Hello,” I greet once they float before me. I motion for them to take seats on the vacant stone chairs.

“Hello.” Pelina and Neren lower themselves on the stones.

“I hear you are to be mated. I offer you my congratulations.”

Though I am extremely delighted that my dearest friend is to be mated, my voice betrays me. I do not know why. Nor am I aware of the reason why Cassie Price’s face once again enters my mind.

“Thank you,” Pelina says, her lips stretched in an exuberant smile.

“When is the ceremony to occur?” I ask.

“The morning after tomorrow,” Neren says.

I nod and stare down at the scales at my waist. Neren and Pelina are to be mated in two days. Yet, they do not seem as uneasy as the way I feel regarding my impending mating ceremony. They gaze at one another as though they are lost in each other’s eyes. It is as though they are communicating with one another in means other than voice. As though they are attached at the soul. The only other beings I have seen behave in this manner is Mother and Father.

My chest feels hollow.

I involuntarily shift, which causes Neren’s gaze to break away from Pelina. He shakes his head, as though his mind he has been in another world. “I heard you have returned to the colony this morning,” he says. “Are you all right?”

There is a strange sensation in my throat. It feels…I cannot describe it. The last time I felt this way was when I was on land, when Cassie offered me that liquid the humans drink. Dry…yes, that is the word. My throat feels dry. How is it possible for it to feel this way? What is the meaning? I have never felt this way before.

“The entire colony is aware I have been absent?” I ask.

Neren glances at Pelina. “I am afraid so.”

It was not my intention to cause all this. I should have behaved in a more appropriate manner. Father is correct—I did not think of the consequences. As Doria claimed, every child of the sea will be looking to me for guidance, not only my siblings. Every action I do is observed and monitored.

“Many were worried you had been attacked by a rogue shark,” Pelina says. “Or humans.”

I shake my head. “I know how to conceal myself from human detection.”

“Even so,” Neren says. “Many were worried. You are the next king.”

I nod and once again stare down at the scales at my waist.

“I am glad you are well, Damarian,” Neren says.

“As am I,” Pelina says.

“Thank you.”

“Many of us wonder, Damarian, as your mating ceremony was set to occur yesterday morning. When will it occur?”

I examine the two of them sitting before me, at the manner in which their hands are clasped together, the manner in which their eyes are attached to one another’s faces. It is as though they have already mated. Love. That is what it is. I have known the love shared between two children of the sea, for Mother and Father love each other very much. But I have never felt it.

Cassie’s face and body floats before me. The sensations I felt on land return. The warmth and electricity. I remember how good it felt. I remember how I wished to feel it again. And when my lips touched hers…

“Damarian.”

I open my eyes. I was not aware I closed them. Neren and Pelina stare at me. “What has happened?” I ask.

“You were swaying,” Neren says. “I worried you would fall off your chair.”

I must forget about Cassie Price. I
must
.

Neren lifts himself off his chair and touches my shoulder. “Perhaps you should rest. Pelina and I wish to invite you to our mating ceremony. It would be an honor for you to attend.”

I rise off my chair and wrap my tail around the two of them. “It will be my pleasure.”

They incline their heads and swim toward the exit of the Sapphire colony. Once again, that dry sensation fills my throat. I believe I know what it is. Dejection. Perhaps envy as well.

I remain seated on the stone, lost in my thoughts, until the sea grows dark. Just as I am set to return home, I catch sight of Father swimming toward the cave. He is conversing with Callen, leader of the Guard. I am not certain what sort of topics Father and Callen discuss, for such topics are restricted only to the royal family, leader of the Guard, and the king and queen’s most trusted advisor. I wonder if Father will be my advisor when I become king. I cannot imagine giving him orders.

Father notices me and comes to a halt. He speaks a few words to Callen, who nods and leaves the colony. Since he is leader of the Guard, he takes residence at the palace with the other Guards.

“Damarian,” Father says as I approach him.

“What have you and Callen been discussing?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “It does not concern you.”

“I am to be king soon. Is there something I should be aware of?”

Father’s eyes remain on me for a few seconds. Then he places his hand on my shoulder. “The humans have been capturing turtles in their nets. The king and queen wish to move their colonies inward, as to protect them.” He rubs my shoulders. “But you need not worry about this. Not until you take the throne.” He leans forward and presses a swift kiss on my forehead. “Remain Damarian of the Sapphire clan for a few more days.”