Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel) (21 page)

“They laughed and encouraged one another,” Neren continues. “It was all for sport! The pups attempted to protect us.” His voice holds nothing but bitterness. “One was killed. As were my brother and sister. The remaining pup—who was quite injured—hurried to bring me home. He perished at the entrance to the Sapphire colony.”

I slowly lower myself onto the stone chair, my mind overcrowded with the events I was just told. I have heard tales of humans harming creatures of the sea—they are responsible for the near total annihilation of most large whales and have caused many other creatures to grow extinct—but never have I heard anything like this.

I lift myself off the chair and swim closer to Neren, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I did not know. I am truly sorry.”

He makes a sharp turn to the left so that my hand slides off his shoulder. “I do not need your pity, Damarian! You cannot associate with humans. They are killers.”

“You cannot fault an entire race for the actions of a few. That is not fair.”

“Why would you have the desire to travel on land and meet humans? They are despicable creatures!”

I look away. “You are aware how often I travel to the surface to observe them. I have always been a little…interested in them.”

“We are all interested in them! But we know to keep our distance. They are vile creatures.
Vile
. They invade our waters and destroy our home. Do you recall the beautiful coral reef we often visited as fry? It is dying. All because the humans throw their wastes into the sea and travel with their vessels that destroy all sea life.”

“They are merely curious creatures.”

“Do not defend the humans!” he shouts. “Not before me.”

“Neren.” I swim closer to him and try to lay my hand on his arm, but he once again turns his back to me. “Please try to understand. I have been miserable all my years. I did not show anyone how I truly felt all my moons, how I did not wish to mate with the princess and take the throne. How I longed to share deep, passionate love with the female I am destined to mate with. To have what my parents have, to have what you and Pelina have. I longed for it desperately.”

At first he does not move, then he turns around to face me. I hoped his eyes would soften in understanding, but they remain hard. “And you believe you can only achieve such love with a
human
?” He spreads out his arms. “The sea is abundant with children of the sea, from five different clans. You have many to choose from.”

“I did not seek her out. I merely washed up on the shore and—”

“Wait a moment. Are you stating you washed up on the shore accidentally? How could you be so careless? If a human had discovered you and captured you—”

“I am very aware of what could have been.”

“It is Pelina’s and my wish to start a family. I will not allow you to travel to and from land and put us all in danger.”

“I love her, Neren. With all my heart.”

“That is not my concern! My concern is my family.”

“And what of me? Is it not your wish that your good friend be happy?”

Now his gills expand and contract wildly. “How would you react if humans killed Syd or Syndin? What if they harmed Zarya? Would you be quick to mate with them?”

His words cause every part of my body to grow ice-cold. I cannot imagine how it would be if humans were to hurt anyone I love. Of course I would hold a lot of hatred toward them. But the way I feel for Cassie…all the humans I have met have been kind to me. I refuse to believe that most of them are as despicable as Neren and King Palaemon claim.

Neren moves closer to me. “Unless you part with this human for good, you and I will no longer be friends.”

“Neren, please see reason.”

“There is no reason to see. Humans killed my brother and sister. My family never fully recovered from the ordeal. Practically every night I have trouble sleeping. Unless you part with her, you will no longer be welcomed in my life.”

“Neren,
please
.”

“Do not visit my home. I do not want you near me or my beloved mate.” He gives me a stern look before swimming away.

I fall on the stone chair, my chest so tight it is disrupting the oxygen that my body so desperately seeks. I thought Neren would understand how I am feeling. He, too, sought love and found it. I understand how sensitive this topic must be for him due to the loss of his brother and sister, but can he not see that all humans do not behave in the same manner? Cassie would never harm any creature in the sea. I am certain Leah would not, either. Why can there not be a sole being in my life who understands me?

I know I have behaved wrongly in many ways, with the manner in which I have lied to my family and how I have betrayed them. But the person I have hurt most is Princess Flora. She and I may not have had a lot of love for each other, but we both behaved cordially to one another and promised we would mate and rule the sea side by side. I abandoned her more than once, and that is no manner to treat another being.

That is the reason I am now journeying to Eteria. My family and Neren may not have understood my feelings for Cassie, but perhaps baring my heart to the female I promised to devote myself to would understand.

As soon as one of the Guards takes notice of me, he tells me to follow him to the room where the royal family sits on their thrones. He whispers to another Guard, who whispers to another—I believe he is called Morteran—who swims to the king and bends toward his ear. King Palaemon’s eyes shoot to mine, and he motions for me to enter.

I swim closer and bow.

“Damarian of the Sapphire clan,” he says. “I see you have finally decided to heed our invitation.”

My head still bent, I say, “Forgive me, my king, queen, and princess. There is no excuse for my behavior. It is my only hope that you forgive me.”

“That is not my choice,” the king says. “Nor is it the queen’s.”

“Stand,” the gentle voice of Princess Flora commands.

“I would rather remain in submission, Your Highness. I am not proud of my behavior.”

“I command you to stand, Damarian,” the princess orders.

I straighten my body, though my head remains slightly lowered.

“Now, explain yourself.”

My eyes move from her to the king and the queen. I no longer wish to lie, but how can I tell them the truth? If they are aware that I have been on land and have interacted with humans, they would forbid me from leaving the colony. Or worse, they may banish me. But if I wish to have a future with Cassie, I must put my affairs in order here in the sea.

“My king, queen, and princess. What I am prepared to tell you may not be—”

“Father, Mother,” the princess says. “I wish to speak with Damarian alone.”

They exchange a glance and nod.

She lifts herself off her throne and nods to me. “Come.” She swims out of the room.

I bow once more before the king and queen and follow the princess. I expect her to lead me to one of the nearby rooms, but she swims upward and enters her private chamber.

“Princess,” I start.

“It is all well,” she says as she sits on a crystal chair outside her sleeping quarters. “Please sit.”

I do as she asks. “Princess, I do not understand. Why did you ask to speak to me privately?”

“There are some matters I wish to keep private and not share with my parents. Now, will you inform me why you have abandoned me twice the day we were set to celebrate our mating ceremony?”

Though she sits with her shoulders straight and appears unbothered, it is clear by her eyes that she is very upset with me. And I believe I see hurt and betrayal in them as well.

I lift off my chair and fall to the sea floor, my head bent. “What I am about to tell you…” My throat feels dry again. “I am a terrible and shameful being. Perhaps I deserve to be banished.”

“Banished?”

Though I know I will cause her to grow more upset and cause her more pain, I must tell her the truth. “I have been on land, my princess. I have met a human. She has…she has taken my heart.”

I do not dare raise my head. Now I understand the gravity of my actions, how many I have hurt. I do not regret meeting Cassie and my constant travel to and from the sea to see her, but perhaps I should have been honest from the very start.

I hear her rise off her chair. “You have been on
land
? You have met a
human
?” She utters the words in the same manner as Neren—repulsion.

“Yes.”

“Is your mind defective? What possessed you to travel to land? Why in all that is lovely in the sea would you interact with a
human
?”

The way she scolds me, I wonder why, indeed, I have done this.

“Humans are dangerous! They throw their wastes into the sea—”

“Yes, I am aware the harm humans have done to the sea,” I mutter.

The princess is silent. When I raise my eyes to hers, I see they hold nothing but fury. “Do not interrupt me when I speak,” she says.

“Forgive me.”

“You have behaved recklessly. Have you given thought to the dangers you posed when you stepped onto land?”

“Yes,” I say as earnestly as possible. “Of course.”

“Yet you still traveled.” She stares at me for a few moments before turning to the side and folding her arms across her chest. “Am I to understand that you have chosen that…
human
over me?”

I close my eyes. I must tell her the truth—no, I
want
to tell her the truth. It is no longer my wish to withhold anything from her or anyone else. But it is difficult, for I know the truth will hurt her.

“Will I receive an answer?” she demands.

My eyes open. “I believe you are already aware of the answer, Your Highness,” I say in a reluctant tone.

Though I expect it, it still causes me grief and guilt to see her eyes flash with anger, hurt, and betrayal. “You would rather mate with a human and not me, the future queen of the children of the sea?” Her arms tighten on her chest. “I was not aware that you are so repulsed by me.”

“My princess—”

“You were correct when you stated at our last meeting that we do not love one another, but I see no reason why they cannot change in the future. Why is it not possible for us to achieve it? You are not a bad sight for the eyes, and I do not believe I am, either.”

“No, Your Highness.”

She twists around to face me. “We are not the only two beings in this equation. How many times must I reiterate this until it enters your head? You are the true heir to the throne. You have been behaving like a fry, chasing dangerous dreams when all that is important lies right before you. It is your duty to protect every child of the sea, yet you place them in danger.” She moves closer to me until she is merely inches away. “You are not worthy of the crown. You do, indeed, deserve to be banished.”

I lower my eyes to my fin.

“Why do my words bother you so? I imagine you would wish to be banished to land so that you may spend all eternity with that wretched human.”

“No, that is not my wish!”

“Perhaps that is best, for it will be only a matter of time before a human learns of your existence. Or perhaps that human whom you have so foolishly given your heart to would betray you.”

“No, Your Highness. Cassie would never put me in harm’s way. She would do everything in her power to protect me and safeguard my secret.”

Her eyes flash. “Cassie? What an absurd name.” She backs away and sits down in her chair. “I am not my father. I do not share his view on banishment. I believe one should only be subjected to that fate if one commits a heinous crime.” Her eyes narrow. “Fortunately for you, you have not committed such a crime.”

“Thank you. But you will tell your father.”

Her eyebrows lift. “I will? Why do you presume I hurry to my parents when a situation grows difficult? Do you think I cannot handle matters on my own?”

“No, my princess. Forgive me for my insensitive words. I believe you will be a fine ruler, one of the finest we will ever have.”

She laughs lightly. “Do not think for a moment that flattery will earn you pardon.”

“No,” I say. “I speak only the truth.”

Her eyes narrow again. “I will not tell my father or mother about this. I do not see what that would accomplish, other than cause them to grow furious. Fret not, for you shall not be banished.”

I lower my head. “My thanks.”

“It is not due to you,” she says. “But for them.”

I nod.

She does not say anything, and I remain floating before her, many thoughts and emotions overwhelming me. I cannot make sense of them all. I fear I will explode if I attempt to.

The princess rises off her chair. “Unlike you, I understand what it means to be ruler of the sea and put every creature before me. Therefore, I am still willing to mate with you. That is, if you have come to your senses.”

I swim over to her, fall on the sea floor, and take her hands in mine. She attempts to liberate them, but I squeeze them close. “I have tasted what passionate love feels like, my princess. I knew how dangerous it was every time I traveled to land, every time I shifted from a child of the sea to a human. I knew I was placing myself and the entire colony in peril. Yet, I was willing to risk it all.”

“For a human,” she says in disgust.

“No. For love.”

She pulls her hands out of mine. “I do not understand how the true heir to the throne could place love above everything else.”

“That is what I am trying to explain to you. You cannot understand what I feel because you have not experienced it. What I have experienced with Cassie Price is something I have never experienced ever before in my life, and I am certain I will never again. I did not think I would ever, and now that I have it is my wish that every creature in the world experience it as well. For it is the most wonderful feeling.” I reach for her hands again, and she allows me to take them, her eyes no longer as harsh as before. “I wish for you, my princess, to experience it as well.”

She laughs lightly. “Me?”

“Why is not possible for you to share such passionate sensations with your mate? Because you are the future queen? I am certain there are many male children out there who are capable and worthy enough to rule by your side. One who will make you feel the way my Cassie makes me feel.”

She remains still, her eyes moving all over the area but not to me. After a few seconds, she wrenches her hands out of mine. “It is not possible.”

“Why ever not?”

“The children of the sea’s happiness come before my own. That is the noble way a great queen—or king—behaves.”

“I truly believe you need not sacrifice your happiness for the well-being of every sea creature. You can attain both.”

She shakes her head and laughs in disbelief.

“My princess, I am not the only one in this room who has been ordered whom to mate with. You have been ordered as well.”

She raises her chin. “There have been other options.”

“Yes, but you and I both know I was the only true candidate.”

She does not say anything for a little while. Then, “It is not so simple. My father and I have not only chosen you because your father has raised you to take the throne. You are the true king, Damarian.
You
. It is your responsibility to care for and rule every creature in the sea, even more than me. So many children of the sea wait for the moment the true heir to the crown will take the throne. Does it not bother you that you are forsaking them in such a manner? All because you have experienced this passionate love you speak of?”

My eyes once again lower to my fin.

“How do you suppose they would react if they were to learn you have chosen another female? How would they react if I were to choose another child to be their king? It is my wish to unite the clans, but how would I be able to if I do not give them the king they desire?”

My lips move, but no sound leaves my mouth.

“We are not like everyone else, Damarian, no matter how many times we wish it. Do you not think there have been a few instances where I have wished for another life as well? To be carefree without the worry of every creature of the sea’s welfare on my shoulders? Do you believe it is my wish to spend my days making peace between the dolphins or finding a new location for the turtles to live? Sometimes I yearn to leave Eteria and have friends. But that is not possible for me. Is it fair to me that you—the true heir to the throne—can live his life the way he chooses when I am bound to my tiara?”

I remain utterly still as her words penetrate my mind. She is correct. All she has just revealed to me is correct. I understood her life is not easy, but I did not imagine it was so.

I lower my head as far as I can. “Forgive me, my princess. I was not aware of your true feelings.”

She touches the top of my head. “Perhaps that is the problem. We have not shared anything with one another. Not once.”

She is correct about this as well. I never felt close to her because we did not open our hearts. Now that we have, I do feel as though we have entered another height in our relationship. Perhaps if we have done this earlier, things would be different. Perhaps I would not have met Cassie. But I do not regret meeting her. She has brought so much joy to my life, has caused me to feel sensations I had never felt before. But she is a human and I am a child of the sea. The heir to the throne. Many are relying on me to take the crown and rule them in the manner a true ruler should.

Yet, my heart beats for Cassie. My body yearns for her. My soul is empty without her by my side. How can I choose?