Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel) (25 page)

The princess understands my love for Cassie. Why does my father not attempt to try?

I hear the voices of my family in the main room, each asking about my well-fare. I cannot lose them. I love them each dearly and I cannot spend the rest of my moons without sharing my life with them. But I love Cassie as well and want nothing more than to spend eternity with her.

Then I remember she is upset with me. Even if I were to risk it all, for her, who is to say she would have me? I could very well be banished to land, never to swim as a child of the sea, and still not be with the one whom I love most. I would be sentenced to the same fate as Kyler.

With my entire being quaking, I slide into my shell, under the seaweed.

“Damarian, I refuse to take no for an answer a minute longer.” Doria grabs hold of the seaweed of my bed and yanks it away from my face. “You refuse to see anyone or talk to anyone, not even Zarya. Are you aware how much pain it causes her? Does it not concern you that you are hurting her?”

Of course I do not wish to cause Zarya pain, but my entire body is engulfed in my own pain. I can barely move.

She slaps my face.

“Doria!”

“Sit up this instant and tell me why you are behaving in such a manner.”

“No. Please leave my room.”

“I will slap you again.”

Now she threatens me, too?

She sits down on my shell and takes hold of my hand. “Damarian.” Her tone is much softer. “Please tell me what troubles you. I am very concerned for you. I will try to understand.”

I remove my hand from hers.

“I know this concerns Cassie. What has happened?”

“Doria, leave me.”

“I will not. I will remain here until you inform me what has you so upset. Why did Father yell at you? Why do you lie curled in your shell as though you are a frightened fry?”

“Not frightened. Heartbroken.”

She is silent for only a second. “Heartbroken? You and Cassie…?”

“Yes.” I reluctantly sit up. “She discovered the truth that I am heir to the crown and am promised to the princess. She realized I lied to her. I have hurt her profoundly.”

She takes hold of my hand again and does not allow me to free it. “I have never seen you so upset. I…I did not realize how much love you have for her.”

“No one understands,” I mutter. “You all think I have been foolish, behaving like a fry, when all along I have experienced one of the loveliest feelings in the world. And now I will never be able to experience it ever. Because of Father.” I say his name with disgust.

Doria’s eyebrows crease. “Father?”

“Yes. He threatened to banish me if I returned to land.”

Her eyes and mouth open widely. “He threatened to banish?”

My hands curl into fists. Though I know it is not correct to have these thoughts, I loathe my father. Very, very much.

“He could not have been serious,” Doria says. “Father is not one to make such threats.”

“Perhaps Father is not the being we thought he was,” I say, my voice laced with bitterness.

Doria moves closer to me in the shell. “What is your wish? Do you want to be with your human?”

“Yes, I do. But Father stated—”

“I refuse to believe Father would actually banish you. He is afraid of losing you, just as we all are.” She swallows. “But—and I am only saying this because I want you to be happy—if your wish is to be with her, then you must go.”

“I am ready to risk banishment,” I admit. “I would for her. But she told me she never wants to lay eyes on me.”

Doria studies me. “I understand. You are not certain she will have you. You do not want to risk all that is important to you if she will abandon you. You…” She swallows again. “If Father does indeed banish you, you will be stranded on land.”

Yes, just as Kyler of the Emerald clan. I will be alone. I suppose not utterly alone, for Kyler is a banished child of the sea as well, but I cannot be with him face to face. I will physically hurt him.

Doria rises off the shell. “I am certain Father will accept what lies in your heart. He needs time to make sense of this all. You are his eldest and he wants you to be happy. I am certain of this. Just be patient, all right?”

Doria is mistaken. Father will never learn to accept this. Of that
I
am certain.

***

My body is jolted awake when I hear frantic voices in the main room. Worried someone has been hurt, I hurry out. Father and Mother are there, their eyes holding nothing but alarm.

Dread nestles in my stomach. “What has happened?”

“Have you seen Doria?” Father asks.

“Doria?”

“She left home,” Mother says. “She has not been back.”

I look toward the exit to the cave and realize it is nighttime.

“Do you know where she has gone?” Father asks.

“No, I am afraid I do not.”

“I must search the sea. I must ascertain she is well.” He surges out of the cave.

“Syren!” Mother calls after him. Then she turns to me. “I do not wish to put blame on you, Damarian, but none of this has ever occurred, not until you left home. Now all the fry believe it is all right to just disappear with no explanation.”

My eyes lower to my tail. “Forgive me. I did not intend to cause any of this.”

“It is no matter what you intend, my son. It is what has resulted.”

I lift my eyes to her as betrayal once again enters me. Though this one is more intense. “So you agree with Father? You want to keep me here in the sea so that I may never know happiness?”

Regret shows on her face. She swims over and touches my cheek. “This is no easy matter. I understand that you love this human, or that you believe you do. But I cannot understand why you think there is no one here in the sea for you. Do you honestly wish to live on land? Away from me, your father, and your siblings?”

I look away from her.

“And the constant travel from sea to land. How long would it be before life grows busy and your visits lessen? I would hardly see you.”

I still cannot look at her. I am not certain I want to feel anything at all.

“A mother and father puts the happiness of her fry before their own,” she says, her voice soft. “But sometimes they are entitled to be selfish as well. I do not care that I am being selfish, Damarian. If that defines me as a callous being, so be it.”

Looking into her eyes, I see a sadness and fear I have never seen before. I turn away and say, “Have you not been able to sense Doria?”

“Kiander told Father he thought he sensed her a while ago, but he lost the trail. Father worries…” Her shoulders quake.

I know what she is thinking: if one cannot sense another child of the sea in the ocean, it is most likely because he or she has perished.

Or perhaps…? No, that is not possible. Has Doria traveled to land?

The conversation she and I shared not five hours ago enters my mind. My stomach twists. Doria has gone to land to see Cassie. She has gone to learn whether she will have me.

“What?” Mother asks as she examines my face. “You know where Doria is?”

If I tell her the truth, it will only cause her more concern. And truthfully, I can no longer bear to see any more disappointment in her eyes. Therefore, I shake my head and return to my room.

It takes a while for sleep to arrive, but when it does, I sleep for hours. It is only due to Zarya’s excited yells that I awaken. As the sleep leaves my body, I recognize another voice—Doria’s. I bound out of bed and swim to the main room. Doria is there, apologizing to Father and Mother, claiming she had gone traveling and lost her way. She assures them that she spent the night in a cave and was out of harm’s way.

Mother wraps her tail around hers. “Please do not scare us in this manner ever again.”

Father kisses her forehead. “Yes, we had quite the scare.”

She lowers her head. “Forgive me. That was not my intention.” Her eyes meet mine, and I see the truth in them. She did not spend the night in a cave—she spent it on land.

“Let us play!” Zarya says.

“Yes, yes!” the twins say.

“I believe it best we leave you to rest,” Kiander says. “I see the exhaustion in your eyes.”

“Yes, perhaps that is best.” As she swims past me on the way to her room, she nods, sending me a private message. After the others have returned to their own affairs, I head to Doria’s room. She is waiting for me on one of the chairs.

I sit down next to her. “You should not have traveled to land.”

“I could not bear to see you so shattered.”

I close my eyes for a few seconds before opening them. “What did she say?”

“She was quite upset at the start. She believes you were merely having fun with her and never intended to have a future with her. I told her how much you struggled with your duty. How difficult it was for you to be forced to mate with a female you did not love. She understands, Damarian.”

My heart races.

“She ordered me to tell you to remain in the ocean,” Doria says. “She loves you very, very much, and it is due to her love for you that she is releasing you. She does not want you to lose everyone you hold dear because of her. She insisted I do not allow you to risk banishment.”

I slowly rise off the chair. “She…she still loves me?”

Doria nods. “She claims she will never love anyone as much as you.”

Nor will I ever love anyone as much as I love her. She does not loathe me. Every part of me beats with hope and the intense love I have for her.

“Then I must go to her,” I say.

“But Father…and the banishment.”

“It is like you stated. Father would not banish me. He and Mother are worried I will establish a life on land and will forsake you all. But I assure you that is not so. I will never, ever, abandon my family.” I press a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you, Doria.”

I hurry out of the cave, toward land.

When Cassie opens the door to her house and sees me standing before her, clothed in a large white towel, she merely blinks at me. I look into her eyes, the beautiful eyes I love to see when I wake up every morning, the ones that hold so much emotion. At this moment, they are filled with confusion, surprise, and a little hurt, but the one that surpasses them all is the love she has for me.

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

Her tone—it is not very friendly. Is she not glad to see me? I run my hand through my hair. “May I come in?”

She opens the door wider so that I may enter, and I inhale her lovely scent that causes intense sensations to pass through me.

After she closes the door, we stand before one another. Once she has gathered her bearings, she gestures toward the living room. But I do not enter that room. I sweep her into my arms and hold her against my chest, the feeling so familiar, so fitting. It was as though we have not been apart all this time. My lips seek hers and we kiss each other nearly savage-like, so passionately. The only thing I feel is how wonderful it is to have my human in my arms once again.

“You shouldn’t have come back,” she whispers.

I move my mouth to her neck. “I could not stay away from you, my love.”

My lips return to hers and I kiss as much skin as I can, showing this exquisite creature how much she means to me. I lift her in my arms and carry her to the living room, where I place her on the couch. I lie on top of her, careful not to put my weight on her so that I do not hurt her, and kiss every part of her face.

Cassie places her hands on my chest and gently shoves me away. “You’ll get banished.”

I take her hands in mine and kiss each of her fingers. “Father will not banish me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I am his son. He will not banish me. He only threatened me to do his bidding.” I rub my nose against hers. “Nothing can keep me away from you, my sweet Cassie. Nothing.”

“What about your people? You’re the true king.”

I look into her eyes and see how guilty she feels. I also see the fear in them, at the thought that I may abandon her due to my duty. I place my arms under her and bring her to my chest, pressing my face in the area between her neck and shoulder. “I love you, Cassie. Not Princess Flora. It would do a disservice to the children of the sea if I do not love my mate.”

“Does she love you?”

The princess has told me she is certain we would learn to love one another, but what if we would not? We would live in harmony, yes, and we would rule the sea proficiently. But would we share the love my parents have? Would I love her in the same manner I love Cassie?

“She does not love me the way you love me,” I tell her. “I do not wish to mate with a child of the sea who does not love me. Not in the manner in which I love you.”

I see the relief in Cassie’s eyes, knowing I will not leave her. “Who will be the king, then?”

“I am not certain. Perhaps Princess Flora will have suitors.”

“And your dad? Will he be upset with you?”

I do not want her to know how furious Father is, but deep in my heart, I am certain Father will accept my decision. Perhaps when he sees how happy I am. “It is in Father’s nature to forgive,” I tell Cassie.

“And the alliance?”

“It is my hope that Princess Flora chooses a mate from another clan. The alliance will stand.”

She lowers her head on my chest. “What will happen to us?”

I tuck my fingers under her chin and lift her face so I can look into them. “We will be together for eternity. If you will have me.”

She encloses her arms around me. “Of course I’ll have you.”

“I am truly sorry for lying to you. I believed you would not want me once you were aware that I—”

She places her finger on my lips. “It’s okay. I understand why you lied. I know you weren’t in a good place. And I know how much you wanted to do the right thing, but how you wanted to do what made you happy. It’s not an easy choice for anyone.”

My lips sweep across her face. “You are such a forgiving person, Cassie. So understanding. How I love you.”

“I love you, too.” She kisses me. “You sent Doria to me.”

“Doria left the sea on her own will. She witnessed our love for one another. She realized how I longed for you. How it pained me. All she wants is for me to be happy.”

I lower her on the couch and kiss her. I am not certain for how long, but when we grow too uncomfortable, I take her in my arms and carry her to her room. Then I begin to kiss and touch every part of her body.

***

A soft hand slides into mine. Warm lips press on mine. My eyes slowly open and I stare into the face of my beautiful, sweet Cassie. Every part of me swells with warmth at the sight of her, at the feel of her body so close to mine. So long have I yearned to wake up next to a female I love with all my heart.

I smile. “This must be a dream.”

Cassie bends forward to place an intense kiss on my lips that causes blood to race through me. “Would that happen in a dream?” she asks, her eyes shining.

“I believe not.” I close an arm around her middle and tug her to my chest. “I shall wake up beside you every morning.”

“What about your family? You’ll want to see them.”

Yes, I will not forsake my family. I truly believe I can live with Cassie on land and travel to sea as often as I can. With Cassie’s help, I am certain we can keep my identity hidden from other humans.

I caress her cheek. “I shall wake up by your side when I am on land.”

She laughs and accepts. Then she stands, takes my hand, and pulls me to my feet. “Come. Let’s make breakfast.”

“May I go to the pool first?” I ask. Dread suddenly fills my stomach. I had been so happy with Cassie that I have forgotten Father’s threat of banishing me.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“The banishment…”

Her face grows grim. “You’re…you’re banished?”

I shake my head. “I am not certain. I do not feel different.”

Her upper teeth chew on her bottom lip. “Let’s check.”

My legs quake as she and I head for the pool. A part of me could never believe that Father would actually banish me, but the other part is worried he would. Father is not a malevolent being, but he is harsh, and he does not react very well to betrayal. Perhaps in his eyes, he would rather not see me for the rest of his moons than witness me spend eternity with a human.

Cassie is silent, but I notice her body trembles slightly as well. I know she would feel guilty if I were to indeed be banished, and I know she believes she is tearing me from my family and my life. But I would do anything to be with her.

When we enter the pool room, my legs grow extremely heavy and it takes a while for me to reach the pool. Cassie gives me a loving and supportive nod, which rids some of my fears. I raise my arms above my head and dive into the pool.

Instantly, the burning sensation engulfs the lower half of my body. When I cry out, it is not only in pain but in joy as well. I knew Father would not hurt me, that he
could
not hurt me. And soon he will learn to embrace the life I have chosen, because I very much wish for him, and the rest of my family, to be part of it.

I stick my head out of the water. “I am not banished, Cassie!” My heart beats with exuberance and relief. “I am not banished.”

Cassie leaps into the pool. I snatch her in my arms and hold her tightly against my chest, my lips seeking hers. “I’m so happy, Damarian,” she whispers against them.

I place her behind me, on my back, and drop into the water. My delight is so profound that when I spring upward, we nearly crash into the ceiling. Cassie must be enjoying this, for she giggles. That causes my chest to expand with pure bliss.

Once we are back in the water, I take hold of her waist and spin her so that her legs are where her head should be, and her hair sweeps across the surface of the water. I grin. “Hello, Cassie.”

“The water feels so good against my scalp.” She closes her eyes and releases a seductive moan. Though I am in my child of the sea form, the sensations passing through me are as strong as when I am human. My arms grow weak, but I tighten my hold on her so that she does not plummet into the water. “Cassie…” My voice is barely audible.

Her eyes open. “Yeah?”

“The feelings you invoke in me. Even as a child of the sea.”

I kiss her and then drop us into the pool so that I can continue kissing her in the water. Now she is somewhat in my world and we can grow just as close here as we do when we are above water. I flip her so that her legs are in the water and so that our lips can move over one another’s more perfectly.

Time no longer exists.

My thoughts remind me that Cassie is human and requires air. I bring us to the surface. Cassie leaps onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist. “I can do this all day.” Her lips slide up my neck, causing me to shiver.

“As can I,” I say against her ear. Her lips move to my chest. “Cassie…”

“My merman,” she whispers.

“My human,” I whisper back.

Cassie laughs.

“What?” I ask.

She continues to laugh, as though she is unable to stop. That causes me to laugh a little as well, though I am quite confused. When she gathers herself, she says, “Calling me ‘my human’ sounds funny.” And she once again laughs.

I move my lips to her ear again. “I am not concerned with the reason you laugh. Only that you laugh. How pretty it sounds.”

Her breathing grows unsteady. “You really know exactly what to say to melt a girl’s heart.”

She grasps the back of my neck, kisses me, then yanks me under the water.