Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel) (24 page)

Kyler’s eyes once again bore into mine. “And
you
. You’ve been seeing a human girl for weeks. Yet you’re not banished. What is it? Does King Palaemon favor you over the many other children of the sea?”

No, for unlike Kyler, I kept my meetings with Cassie a secret. I am quite certain he would banish me if he learned the truth.

Cassie’s eyes move from me to him, utterly confused and hurt. I do not wish to cause her any pain. Kyler must stop speaking this very moment.

I try to communicate my feelings with Kyler, but that only seems to make him more humorous. “She doesn’t know, does she? You haven’t told her.” He laughs in a sour manner. “Of course you haven’t told her.”

“Told me what?” Cassie asks.

No! I do not want to cause her any pain.

“Tell her how the crown rightfully belongs to the Sapphire clan, to your family,” Kyler says. “Tell her how you are the true heir to the throne. That you are betrothed to Princess Flora and will become the rightful king.”

My eyes shut for a moment as my limbs grow cold. He has said it.

Cassie appears as white as the walls in her home. “Betrothed?”

“Cassie…”

“What is he talking about?” she says in a raised tone. “You’re
engaged
?”

I close my eyes and release some air. As I open them, tears drip down my cheeks. “Yes, Cassie. I am to take the throne. I am indeed betrothed to Princess Flora, daughter of King Palaemon. Since I was a fry.”

“To unite the five clans under one crown,” Kyler says. “To return the kingdom to the rightful heir.”

I wish to tell her that it is not so anymore, than I have chosen not to mate with the princess, for Cassie is the female I love. But Cassie’s eyes are wild with heartache and betrayal. Tears run down her face as she pushes me backward. “How could you? I trusted you! You’re engaged—you’re going to get
married
and rule the merpeople. You never intended to have a future with me.”

I do not know what to say. She is correct that she has trusted me and opened her heart. I have betrayed her trust by lying to her. But she is incorrect when she claims I had no intention of having a future with her. For I did, very much so.

“What have you been doing with me?” she demands as more tears rush down her cheeks. “Was I your distraction? Your bachelor party before you settle down and rule your people? You said you wouldn’t hurt me. You said you’d never,
ever
hurt me.”

“Cassie—”

She pushes me again. “I never want to see you again. Go back to the ocean. Don’t ever come out. I don’t want to ever lay eyes on you!”

She flees the beach.

“Cassie!” I move to hurry after her, but Kyler grabs hold of my arm.

“Leave her,” he says.

I yank my arm out of his. “You do not know what you have just caused, Kyler of the Emerald clan.”

He folds his arms across his chest. “What I’ve caused? What exactly do you think you’re doing, messing with her feelings like that? You’re betrothed to the princess and will become king. You had no right to string her along all this time.”

“I am not to mate with the princess! You have been on land for twenty four moons and are not aware of what has occurred in the sea. Now you have spoiled my relationship with Cassie.”

I fall to my knees at the deep, intense pain in my chest. I cannot see due to the immense tears in my eyes.

“I don’t get it,” he says. “You’re not going to mate with the princess?”

“No.” I glare up at him. “I am abandoning my duty for love.”

Kyler’s mouth falls open. He moves his lips but no sound comes out. Finally, he says, “I didn’t know. I thought…” He rubs the back of his head, then shakes it. “My king—er, excuse me, Damarian—you know you and her wouldn’t last. You’ve been kidding yourself all along. You can’t have a future with a human. I learned that the hard way.”

I lift myself to my feet and narrow my eyes at him. “It is not you who is to decide who I can or cannot have a future with.”

“You’re deluding yourself if you think you can actually make it work. Humans are not like children of the sea. Tell me you know deep down that the two of you would never work out.”

I will not admit such a thing.

“You know I’m right,” he says. “And that is extremely unfair to her. You would have strung her along only to break her heart.”

“That is not true!”

He shakes his head before walking away.

Are you certain you are all right
? Fiske asks as he and I swim toward the colony.

Yes
, I lie, for I do not wish to worry him. I have never felt such intense pain all over my body. All I see before me is Cassie’s hurt and betrayed face. I had wanted to tell her how I would not allow anything hinder me from having a future with her, when all the while it was
me
who had been hindering me. For I have not been truthful to her, and now I have hurt her immensely.

Perhaps I should put an end to my fighting and just surrender. Surrender and sacrifice my heart and live a life devoid of love or happiness. Perform my duty to every creature in the sea without any thought to my well-being. That is what everyone wishes of me.

And perhaps Kyler of the Emerald clan is correct—perhaps a part of me has been “stringing Cassie along,” for I have worried deep down that I could not be with her for all eternity. Perhaps if Kyler would not have exposed the truth, I would have spent many moons with her only to have no choice but to abandon her. I do not believe I could ever choose another being as my mate, for I will love and cherish Cassie for all eternity.

I do not realize we have reached the colony until the Sentinels demand to know who I am. Yes, who am I exactly? I do not think I could take the princess as my mate, not when my heart is broken over Cassie. It would be unfair to her—she deserves someone who would love and cherish her for eternity. Am I to spend the rest of my moons yearning after the female I cannot have?

I said, who is trespassing
? a bull shark demands.

Fiske prods my rib.

Damarian of the Sapphire clan
, I say, no emotion in my voice.

The sharks study me for a few seconds before parting to let me pass. As the Sapphire clan comes into view, my movements grow slow. I do not know what I am to do, how I am to live in such a manner. It is as though someone has torn my heart out of my chest and has left me hollow.

I do not pay much attention to anyone as I swim toward my home, nor do I acknowledge my family when I enter the cave. It is possible Zarya shoots toward me or that Mother and Father try to speak to me. I head for my room and slide into my shell.

***

“Damarian.” Doria shakes my shoulder. “Damarian, what is the matter?”

I turn away from her. “Please leave me be.”

“We are all very concerned for you.”

The pain all over my body has not subsided. In fact, it has only increased.

Doria says more words, but I do not acknowledge her. Nor do I acknowledge anyone else who enters my room and tries to speak to me, not even Zarya.

Days pass. I spend all my time here in my shell, mourning the love I have lost and the human I have hurt. I loathe myself for breaking her heart like this. I hardly eat, I hardly sleep, I do not speak to anyone.

When Father tells me the princess wishes to speak to me, I tell him I am not certain if I can ever see her. I have not only hurt Cassie Price, but the princess as well, all because I have been selfish. She may not love me in the same manner Cassie did, but I treated her unfavorably. Even after she was willing to forgive me for traveling to land and after she discovered my heart belonged to another. She is one of the kindest beings I have ever met, and I do not deserve to be in her presence.

I am thankful that Father does not force me to see her. I have not told them what has occurred between Cassie and me, but I assume they have come to the correct conclusion. At times, Mother joins me on the bed and rubs my back, not uttering a single word. I appreciate her sympathy and concern. Zarya sleeps with me in my shell practically every night. She and the twins are too young to understand what a broken heart is, but they know I am hurting. With my family around me, comforting me when I do not deserve their comfort, I realize how wrong I was when I wished to sacrifice them for Cassie. I need my family and they need me. It only confirms how nearly impossible it would have been to have a future with her. And then the pain restarts.

“Damarian.” Father touches my arm. “Princess Flora is here to see you.”

My eyes open. The princess has traveled
here
to speak to me? I quickly get up and am ready to sit on one of the stone chairs, when her voice says, “Please remain where you are.”

I look toward the entrance to my room and see her floating outside with Morteran by her side.

“My princess.” Father bows before her. I do so as well in my shell.

She waves her hand, motioning for us to be at ease. “If you do not mind, I wish to speak to Damarian in private.”

Father nods and leaves the room. Morteran moves from the entryway, but I know he will remain close by.

“My princess.” I lower my head. “Forgive me for not responding to your request to see me. I have been…” I swallow. “I have not been well.”

She sits on the chair closest to my shell. “I am well aware of what has occurred.”

I stare at her. “You are?”

“Your father stated you have returned from land in distress and wished not to see or speak to anyone. I gathered things did not end very well with your human.”

I lower my eyes as the pain once again enters my body.

“You must return to her.”

I raise my head and gape at her. “Pardon, Your Highness?”

“I am not aware of what transpired on land, but you must not surrender.”

Sliding out of my shell, I lower myself in the chair next to hers. “I am afraid I do not understand.”

“After our last meeting, I had been consumed with thoughts. How you attempted to explain to me the deep love you felt for the human. I did not fathom it. I could not, for I have no experience in such a feeling. I realized that I wish to experience it as well.” She places her hand over mine. “As the future queen of the children of the sea, it is my duty to ensure that every creature, big or small, is safe and happy. And that includes you.”

My eyebrows lift.

“I do care for you, Damarian. Very much. It is my wish that you be happy, that you experience the love you have desperately sought all your moons.” She looks at her tail. “And perhaps one day, I will meet a child of the sea who would cause me to feel the way your human causes you to feel.”

I take her hand. “That is what I have wished for you all along. It is what I wish for Kiander, Doria, Syd, Syndin, Zarya, and every child of the sea. For it is the most wonderful feeling in the world.” My lip trembles. For me, it
was
the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Her hand squeezes mine. “Do not give up on her. Not when you love her.”

“But how can I have a future with her? She is a human and I am a child of the sea. It is impossible.”

“It is not. If you truly want to be with her, you should do all you can to achieve it. I know you will be able to, as long as the two of you love each other.”

I tear my gaze from hers. “She does not love me any longer. I have betrayed her and have hurt her. She loathes me and I loathe myself.”

“No, she does not. She will forgive you, for she loves you. She will understand how difficult it has been for you, having to choose between love and duty. I am still very much upset that you have been on land and revealed yourself to a human, but I know you love the sea and would not do anything to harm her or her creatures. If you are certain this human can conceal your secret, then I trust you. Return to her, Damarian. Although you do not require it, you have my permission. And insistence.”

For the first time since I left land, I feel my lips lift into a small smile. “Thank you, my princess. I very much appreciate it. But…” I shake my head. “I fear all hope is lost. And my family…”

“They will understand. All will be well.”

She rises off the chair and I hurry to lower myself to the floor and bow. “You are one the kindest beings I have ever met,” I say. “I do not know how I can thank you.”

She touches my shoulder so that I rise off the floor and float before her. “No, Damarian. It is I who should be thanking you, for you taught me the importance of love, and how I deserve to experience it as well.”

“You do, Your Highness, am I am certain it will not be long before you find him.”

She moves closer and kisses my cheek. “Do not yield until she agrees to spend eternity with you.” She swims out of my room.

I remain in my location, merely floating as the princess’s words play in my head. My Cassie, my sweet human Cassie. All hope is not lost. The pain in every fiber of my being has decreased, and I no longer feel as though I will perish at any moment. I hurry out of my room, to my family who are gathered in the main quarters. Due to my extreme exuberance, the words shoot of my mouth. “I am to take my leave. I do not know when I shall return, but I hope it will not be too long.”

“You are leaving?” Zarya demands, betrayal in her eyes. The twins’ eyes hold the same.

“Forgive me, Zarya, Syd, and Syndin. But when you are older, I will explain—”

Father throws his half-eaten fish onto the table and leaps off his chair. “Follow me into your room, Damarian.
This instant
.”

Every other member in the room stares at the two of us. All the joy I felt only seconds ago rushes out of me body. I swim after Father and enter my room.

He floats there with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes furious. “What have you just announced? That you are leaving home? To land?”

“Yes, Father.”

“To see that human?”

I nod.

He throws his hands up. “These past few days you behaved as though you were to perish. I know it was because of that human. She is vile, just as her entire race is. And now you wish to return to her?”

“She is not vile, Father. We had…there was a misunderstanding, all due to me. She has been nothing but kind.”

He moves closer to me. “You would choose a despicable human over the princess of your own race? Have you no shame?”

“Princess Flora understands how I feel. She has given me her permission and insists I return to Cassie.”

Father’s eyes move over my face, as though he cannot believe the words I have just uttered. “You are to tell me the princess has given you
permission
?”

“Yes.”

Father continues to stare at me for a little while longer before spinning his back to me. “The princess may have given you permission, but I do not.”

“Father, please!” I swim over to touch his shoulder, but he moves away.

“I cannot believe how foolish and selfish you are. The crown belongs to our family.
Our family
. This is the only opportunity we have to reclaim it.”

“There is more to life than the throne,” I say as gently as I can. “The princess will make a fine queen, and I am certain she will choose the most competent male to rule by her side. It is not my destiny to mate with her and take the throne. It is my destiny to—”

He whirls around. “To mate with a human?”

“Yes.”

He moves closer until his face is before mine. “No son of mine will betray his people for a vile human. I will not allow it.”

I lower my head. “Forgive me, Father, but I do not need your permission. I understand you wish to do what you think is best for me, just as you would do to my brothers and sisters. But I am the sole being who truly knows what is best for me.”

Father’s face is the most furious I have ever seen. “All right, Damarian. I tried not to be harsh previously, but I will be harsh now. If you dare leave the sea and step onto land, I will banish you.”

I lose sensation in my tail as my eyes grow large. “B-banish?”

“Yes, without hesitation.”

“But how can you banish me? King Palaemon...”

“Is not the true king. I am. I have the ability to banish as well. And I swear I will do it.”

I am certain tears have gathered in my eyes. From betrayal. How could Father threaten to banish me for seeking what I desperately want?

It takes a short while for me to gather myself. “The princess herself has learned to accept what lies in my heart. She wishes to see me happy. And my own father…” My lips are trembling so hard I cannot conclude my sentence.

“I have been in this world for far longer than you have. I understand things you have yet to understand. In time, you will learn that all I have done, from the moment you were born, is for your happiness. Not mine, not your mother’s. But yours.”

I shake my head. “You are mistaken, Father. Far, far mistaken.”

He waves his hand. “If you believe this human is the only being that can bring you happiness, not your family who love you very much, by all means leave. Travel to land and live with the vile creature. Do not expect to lay eyes on any one of us ever again.”

He storms out of my room.

I fall to the floor as my heart beats violently. Father threatened to banish me. Could his words be true? Would he indeed banish his son? No, I refuse to believe it. But even so, how could I risk traveling to land?