Damarian (A Merman's Kiss Novel) (18 page)

I do not call for Fiske, but he meets me after only a few minutes of my being in the sea.

They are furious with me
, I say. It is not a question.

It seems Fiske is unsure how to respond. He says,
It is because they worry
.

The princess
? I ask.

He shrugs.

Does she not plan on choosing another mate
?

I believe your father still convinces her to wait for you
.

I turn away. No, I cannot bear the princess waiting for my return. It is unfair for me to treat her in this manner. But what I am to do? If I go back, Father will force me to mate with her. I shall be tied to her for all eternity. I do not love her and she does not love me. I have experienced love with Cassie Price, and it is my wish for the princess and every child of the sea to experience what I have. Because it is the most loveliest and beautiful thing that exists in the world.

I cannot return
, I tell Fiske.

He inclines his head.
I understand
.

She will eventually choose another mate
, I say.
Perhaps one that will love her in a way I never could
.

He inclines his head again.
If you do not wish to return, where will you go
? He examines the area.
Humans have not ventured this far out, but I must protect you
.

I scan the area. Fiske is correct. I cannot remain out here.
My cave
, I say. It is not too far from the colony, but it is well hidden and I am quite certain no one is aware of its existence. And it is certainly not close to land so I need not worry about the humans.

Very well
, Fiske says.

What of your training? You need not remain with me
.

You come first, Damarian
.

I kiss the top of his head.
Many thanks
.

He and I travel further into the sea, to a location where many large rocks line the floor. I turn my body and slip through a small opening between two of the rocks. I wait for Fiske to pass through. Before us is an opening to a cave.

It is not like the cave the children of the sea dwell in, for it is quite dark and contains nothing but dark green coral. It is small in size, but it is the perfect location if one wishes to be alone.

I am certain my family will sense me in the sea, but they will most likely be unable to detect my precise location because the cave is so well hidden. It is my hope that they will surrender their attempts at searching for me. As much as it hurts for me to think this, I fear I have no choice. Perhaps if the princess would choose another mate, I will return home. Perhaps then I will tell Father and Mother about the human who has taken my heart. Perhaps then, all will be well.

Fiske and I will remain here until nighttime arrives, until I can once again be with my Cassie.

***

When I awaken, I leave the cave and stare up at the surface. Nighttime has arrived. Fiske is by my side, prepared to escort me to land. I rub his nose, then begin my journey. I worry I may meet a child of the sea, perhaps Father or Doria. But no one is around.

Cassie sits on the rocks, her arms wrapped around her knees. It seems as though she is worried. She must have been waiting for quite some time. I did not realize I am late. I bid farewell to Fiske before swimming to the shore.

“Damarian!”

Cassie waits for me near the tide. I raise my arms and wave enthusiastically.

Once I reach the shore, she takes hold of my hands and heaves me onto the sand. A second later, we are tangled in each other’s arms.

I gently grab hold of the back of her head and bring my lips to hers. As soon as they make contact, I feel as though I have been tossed toward the sky. My entire body is bathed in heat, and my heart pounds wildly. Cassie slides on top of me, her mouth never leaving mine, her hands touching every part of my body.

When she touches the area where my skin meets my tail, she pulls her lips off mine. She opens the bag she brought with her. “I got a blanket to cover you.” She examines the area before stretching the blanket over me. She hands me a towel, takes one for herself, and then we begin drying off my body.

A warm, wonderful feeling fills every part of me as I watch Cassie dry my tail. She is my human, my Cassie. I have so much love for her, I do not know what to do with it.

Once she has finished, she crawls onto me, closing her arms around me. “I want to comfort you during the change.”

I touch her hair. “You do not have to do so.”

“I want to. It hurts me so much to see you in pain.”

“It is all right. I have grown accustomed to the pain. It is more bearable now.”

Just as the words leave my mouth, my body is engulfed in pain. I force my mind to think of Cassie, of her beautiful face, her warm and soft body pressed close to mine, the wonderful conversations we share, the feeling of our lips attached to one another’s.

She mutters words of comfort. “The…pain…” I say. “It is not any more bearable than in the past.” But with Cassie holding me in this manner, it alleviates me a little.

Once it is complete, Cassie brushes a towel on my forehead. Though I am extremely exhausted, I smile to her. “Thank you.”

She takes hold of my hand that is closed in a fist and flattens it out. I slide it into hers, gathering much comfort from her.

Cassie’s entire body grows utterly still. I caress her head. “Cassie?”

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”’

Though it is dark, the moon shines on her face and I can see it is red. “Well…you know...”

She will not meet my gaze. I lift her face so that I can look into her eyes. “I am afraid I do not understand.”

She exhales heavily. Then she mutters, “Sex.”

I feel my eyebrows furrow. “Sex? What is sex?”

Cassie moves, seeming completely uncomfortable. From the look on her face, it seems to be a word that can be quite embarrassing. “So…um. Well, when two people want to have a baby…” She moves again. “You guys do have babies, don’t you?”

“Are you referring to mating?”

“Oh, yeah! Of course. Mating.”

“Certainly we mate,” I tell her.

For a second, her eyes move to my legs before returning to my face. “So how exactly…?”

I cannot help but laugh at how endearing my Cassie is. “The scales move aside when the child of the sea is…excited.”

She merely looks at me as though she does not understand me. Then she nods. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” she is quick to say. “I guess that’s one of those things a human might wonder about a merman…”

I gather her to my chest and whisper into her ear, “I think about it.”

Cassie does not move, though I feel her heart beat rapidly.

“I wish to mate with you,” I say.

My words cause Cassie’s eyes to flutter shut and her body to grow limp, her breathing unstable. I gently place my hands on her middle and twist us around so that I am the one lying atop her body. “As a human, I feel it more,” I say.

She does not speak, her breathing more unstable, her eyes barely open.

My finger sweeps across her cheek. “Have I upset you?”

“No…not at all,” she says in a barely audible voice. “I’m finding it hard...to do anything.”

“The emotions overwhelm you?”

She nods.

I gather her closer to my chest. “We cannot, Cassie.” My voice holds nothing but regret.

“Why?” Her voice is almost pained.

“I am not certain what…what shall be the result.”

She is a human and I am a child of the sea. If we were to mate and have fry…what if it would injure her? Kill her? I do not think I could bear it.

And then there is another matter. Children of the sea mate for life. I love Cassie very much, but I cannot declare myself to her yet, not when there are so many uncertainties in my life.

“So what do we do?” she asks.

I do not know. Every time the thought enters my mind, I push it aside. For I do not want to think about the future and what obstacles we would encounter. I only wish to enjoy the present.

I close my arms around her and hold her close against my body. We remain like this for quite some time, my lips trailing over her soft, smooth skin. How much love I have for this human. Is it possible for us to truly have a future? I wish it to be so. How I wish it.

“My beautiful Cassie,” I murmur against her neck. “You are the light of my day. I did not know I could feel this way.”

All my life, I thought I would give my love to every creature in the sea. But now my wish is to give my love to Cassie, even though I am not yet certain how we are to have a future. I just know that I wish to be hers and would like her to be mine, if she would allow it.

“Me, either,” Cassie says. “I have such a hard time trusting people, Damarian. You changed that.”

We continue to lie in each other’s arms. After much time has passed, the sky grows light. “Cassie,” I say, attempting to free myself from her hold.

She tightens her arms around me. “No. You can’t go. Please.”

“I do not wish to go. How I wish I could take you with me.”

Tears roll down her cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumbs. “Do not fret, Cassie.”

“It’s not enough. I want to be with you. This isn’t fair.” She cries into my bare shoulder. The tears are warm and tickle my skin. “It’s not fair.”

“The boat. Meet me in the ocean. Where we parted this morning.”

Her eyes search mine. I see the questions and doubts in her eyes. “It’s so dangerous. I can’t let you risk your life and expose yourself to the world. Your people won’t be safe.”

“I cannot lose you. Please. Meet me.”

I see the battle occurring in her heart. How she yearns to see me but worries for my safety. I am worried as well, but I cannot allow this female to slip away. I will do anything just to share a single moment with her.

More tears running down her cheeks, she says, “After my surfing class. I promise.”

I lay my cheek against hers, feeling the moisture from her tears. “We must part now before I am discovered.”

Her arms do not loosen from around me but tighten. She does not want me to leave, and I do not want to, either. But I must. I lower my face to hers and lay a soft kiss on her lips.

“It’s so hard to see you go.”

“I know.” I tuck my fingers beneath her chin and raise her head so that our eyes meet. “Walk with me to the sea?”

She nods.

With her hand clutched in mine, we walk to the shore. The tide rolls over my feet, and a second later my body begins to quake. Cassie hugs me before pushing me into the water. I dive inside, feeling the intense pain surround me. When my head breaks the surface, Cassie presses her hand to her mouth and then waves her hand. I understand that she is sending a kiss my way. I raise my tail in the air and wave it around. Then, before I can change my mind, I vanish beneath the waves.

Cassie has not yet arrived.

I am not certain how long I have been waiting, but it feels like quite a lot of time has passed. Perhaps she was unable to procure a boat. Perhaps she was unable to come due to her mother or other matters.

Perhaps she does not plan to arrive at all.

I shake my head. No, I refuse to believe so. I know how much love she has for me—I have seen it in her eyes, have felt it in her body and on her lips.

But it is possible she has put thought to the matter and realized having a future with a child of the sea is not practical. There are many human males on land, many fine males who would bring her much joy.

I look back at Fiske, who stands guard a short distance away. He sends me a nod of encouragement.

Some time passes before I hear a low sound. I raise my eyes toward the surface and see an object moving along the water. A vessel. Cassie! She has arrived at last.

I pump my tail toward the surface, my movement so quick I strike the bottom of the boat. Cassie releases a shocked sound and twists her head in all different directions. My head breaks the surface.

She falls back on the boat.

“Cassie.”

She sits up, touching the location on her arm that has been injured. “You scared me.”

“I apologize.”

“It’s okay.” She lays her hand over mine that clutches the side of the boat. “How did you know it’s me?”

“I know.” I will always know when the female I love is near me.

My words cause her to smile. How much I enjoy her smile. She is dressed in the garment she wears when she surfs. The wetsuit.

“How are you?” she asks.

“Magnificent, now that you are here.”

She smiles, her cheeks growing a light shade of red.

“I know of a location where we will be alone,” I inform her. “Follow me.”

She awakens the vessel and follows me deeper into the sea, until we reach a sandbar. I take hold of the vessel and lift myself a bit so I can see her. “Is it all right?”

“It’s perfect.”

After bringing the boat to the sandbar, she lowers herself on it. I swim close to her and rest my hands on either side of her. Cassie’s legs dip into the water, so lovely that I rub my hands down her smooth skin. My fingers touch her toes. “They intrigue me.”

“My toes?”

“The more I look at them, the more I find it peculiar to have fingers on your legs.”

She giggles as I continue to rub them.

“I very much enjoy your smile,” I tell her.

“You’re one of the only people who can make me smile for real.”

She studies me, from the top of my head down my torso and my tail. An incredulous expression overtakes her face. This is the first time she truly sees me in my natural form in my natural world.

She stands and opens her wetsuit. I watch as she removes it from her body. What remains is a garment I have seen many female humans wear on the beach. Her garment is a dark shade of blue, darker than my sapphire tail.

I have never seen Cassie with such little coverings. “You are beautiful,” I say. I wonder what it would feel like to kiss every part of her exposed skin.

Cassie leaps into the sea. Once her head has emerged, she wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my middle. “I’ve always dreamed of swimming with you in the ocean.”

I rub my nose against hers. “As have I.”

I lower my face toward hers and gingerly press kisses down her beautiful, slender neck. A moan exits her mouth. Her arms and legs loosen from around me, but I hold her securely in my arms. She is safe with me. My sweet Cassie will always be safe in my arms.

Slowly, my lips move to her upper chest, to where her skin meets the top of her dark blue garment. A soft sound leaves her mouth, a sound that causes me to feel intense sensations even in my child of the sea form. Her arms and legs fall away from me and she plummets into the sea.

She flails in panic. I quickly grab hold of her middle, pulling her close to my chest. “I very much enjoy the way you react when my lips touch your body,” I whisper.

My words seem to cause her body to react even more, and her arms fall away from me. I hold onto her as tightly as I can.

“You turn me into jello,” she says, her voice so faint I nearly miss it.

I sweep my lips across her jaw. “I do not know what that is.”

Placing my arms underneath her knees, I pull her close to me and sit her on the sandbar. I place my hands on her waist.

She opens her mouth as though she is prepared to say something, but it quickly shuts as she stares at something behind me. Her eyes widen and she bounds onto her legs. “Shark! Damarian, a shark!”

I turn around and discover Fiske swimming toward us. I move closer to him.
Fiske, what is the matter? Is my family all right
?

All is well, Damarian. I only wish to see…

I stare at him for a short while.
You wish to meet Cassie
?

If it all right
.

I feel a large smile conquer my face.
With pleasure, Fiske
.

“Damarian!” Cassie yells, her voice holding nothing but fright.

I place my hand on Fiske’s head.

I will not harm her,
he says.
I assure you I will not. I am very intrigued by her and all humans
.

In all my moons, I have never seen Fiske hunger over humans. He is quite a rare breed of a great white shark. I nod.
I trust you
.

He and I make our way toward Cassie. As soon as she sees us approach, she moves far back, as much as the sandbar allows.

“Cassie.” I motion toward the great white shark. “This is Fiske.”

She merely gapes at me.

I stretch my hand toward her. “Do not be alarmed. Fiske will not hurt you.”

Cassie shakes her head, her eyes frightened, her hands wrapped around her body as though she is protecting herself.

“Fiske is intrigued by you,” I tell her.

“Are you sure he doesn’t want to eat me?”

“It is his nature, Cassie. But he will not hurt you.”

“I don’t get it,” she says. “Shouldn’t he eat you? You’re half human.”

I inform her how sharks are our sworn protectors, how a species of sharks is assigned to guard over each clan. “The great white sharks guard the Sapphires. Hammerheads protect the Violets. Blue sharks protect the Diamonds. Tiger sharks protect the Emeralds. Bull sharks protect the Rubies.”

She merely stares at me as though she has never heard anything quite absurd and marvelous.

“When humans swim too close to our colonies, our sharks eliminate them,” I say.

“
Eliminate
?”

“It is their nature, Cassie.”

Though she still remains quite terrified, I see it begin to dissipate. I am very glad, for I do not want my sweet Cassie to fear any part of my world.

“You may touch him, if you would like,” I tell her.

She remains still.

“Do you not trust me?”

“Of course I trust you. But—”

“Then come.” I hold out my hand. “Please.”

She looks at my hand as though it will transform into a beast and devour her.

“I will hold you, if that eases your mind.”

Her chest expands and then a strong breath leaves her mouth. Despite the fear in her eyes, she appears a little excited. She lowers herself onto the sandbar and slides into the sea. I take her in my arms. “I wish for you to be a part of my world,” I whisper against her temple. “Fiske is not like others of his kind. He will not attack you.”

Fiske floats in the water, his curious eyes on Cassie. I slowly swim closer to the shark so that I do not overwhelm her. I take her hand and stretch it toward Fiske. “If he attacks you, he will attack me as well.”

He remains in his location as my hand and Cassie’s move closer to him. When there is only a short distance between us, her hand tightens into a fist. Gently, I pry it open and lower our hands to the top of Fiske’s head. He inclines his head before swimming around us in a circular fashion. Then he nudges his head into the side of Cassie’s body, and she produces a shocked cry. “He wishes to play with you,” I inform her.

Cassie appears as though she cannot believe what she is experiencing.

“Are you frightened?” I ask.

“Mhm…”

“He will not hurt you.”

“Why is that? Why doesn’t he want to eat me?”

“I do not know. Fiske wishes not to harm humans.”

When Cassie lifts her hand toward him, he bounds for her, a little too enthusiastically that he hits her. He quickly swims back in apology. Cassie laughs, which causes me to smile.

I tell her to take hold of Fiske’s fin. Once she does, he surges forward, and the three of us swim together. Fiske is sensitive to Cassie, for he does not swim below the surface until he is sure she has grown comfortable and that she has taken air.

I have not swum with Fiske in this manner very often because of the fear of being seen by humans. It is most exhilarating. I am glad to share this moment with two beings I love dearly.

Fiske stops before the sandbar. Cassie says, “That was amazing.” She lightly touches the top of his head. “Thanks. You’re a cutie.”

I rub his head.
Many thanks, Fiske. You are a dear shark and a loyal friend
.

Not a problem. It was quite fun. I shall take my leave now and give you privacy
. He swims away.

Wrapping my arms around Cassie, I bring her close to my body. “Did you enjoy that?”

“Yeah. Thanks so much.” She closes her arms around my neck.

My lips brush across the soft skin under her ear. “You are very welcome.”

Her legs bind my middle and she stares into my eyes. “Damarian.”

“Cassie.”

“I really love you.”

I stroke her cheek. “And I love you.”

She lowers her legs from around me, and for the first time in the sea, I feel cold. Cassie swims to the sandbar and lifts herself onto it, pushing her legs close to her chest.

I take hold of her ankles, feeling them tremble slightly. “Are you all right?”

“I’ve never felt this way about anyone. It really scares me.”

I softly run my hands up and down her legs, providing comfort. “What frightens you?”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I guess ever since my dad cheated on my mom and left us, I find it hard to trust people. Especially men.”

I cannot imagine what it is like to abandon your mate. Even if a child of the sea does not love his mate, he does not leave her. If I grew up witnessing Father abandon Mother, I am certain I would feel in the same manner as Cassie.

“I understand,” I say. “Do you trust me?” Every part of my being is engulfed in trepidation.

She nods. “I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you. Except for my mom and Leah.”

“Do you not speak with your father?”

She shakes her head.

“Why?”

Tears enter her eyes, and my chest aches. I do not like causing my Cassie pain, but I understand that she needs to discuss this with me. I know very well how difficult it is to keep my thoughts and worries to myself.

“I’m just scared,” Cassie says.

I place my hands on her middle and heave her into my arms. She presses her face into my chest, clutching onto me anxiously. As I hold her close, all I wish is to alleviate her pain. I will do anything in my power to make the female I love the happiest being in the world. “It is all right,” I say softly.

“That’s what it comes down to. I’m just afraid of getting hurt.”

I rub her back. “It is all right to be afraid.”

All the fears and doubts I have battled throughout my moons, especially with regard to Father…I certainly understand.

“Do you wish to speak to your father?” I ask, sweeping my lips across her ear.

“Yeah. I’m just scared to.” I sense the longing in her voice, how much love she has for her father as well as anger.

“I understand.” I place my finger under her chin and raise her face. “I can be with you, if you would like.”

Some of the fear leaves her eyes. “Thanks. Maybe you can sit with me when I call him?”

I rest my palm on her cheek. “Of course.”

She wraps her legs around my middle. “What about you?”

“Yes?”

“You and your dad. Have you guys been arguing? You spend more time at home now.”

She is still not aware that I have not been home. I do not want to tell her the truth because I fear she will feel guilty. I cannot lose her. I would not be able to bear it.

“Yes,” I say. “We quarrel often.”

Cassie does not ask questions, to which I am very grateful. She releases herself from me and swims to the boat. “I brought you a present.”