Dancing On Air (20 page)

‘Lisette, it is not like that. I do love you and want no one else. This way our lives will go on as normal but we shall have a haven to share. A perfect place that we can be together and be ourselves; a place of our own. And I will protect you,’ Evander said.

‘How? Will you protect me from gossip and slander? I will be branded your mistress... How will you protect me from that?’

‘I thought that you would be happy.’

‘I thought that we would marry,’ Lisette said. Her voice was barely audible over the noisy restaurant.

Evander sat back in his chair. His eyes widened in surprise as he was momentarily lost for words before he dragged a hand through his hair. ‘I can’t marry you! I mean... It is not that I do not wish to marry you. It is that my family would never allow it. I may be the second son but my father is an Earl. I am expected to marry a girl of impeccable breeding, with ready money and estates.’ Evander picked up his glass and drank the champagne in one gulp. ‘I thought you would understand that.’

Lisette nodded as she pushed back her chair and stood up. ‘Yes, perhaps I should have known. Fairy tales only belong in books or on the stage. I was foolish to believe they could happen in reality. You promised me that you were different and I was fool enough to believe you. I don’t need a lover, Evander. I need a man who loves me enough to resist the pressure from his family... Even if his father is a duke.’

‘It’s impossible. How could you not know that it’s impossible? No matter how much I love you, I would never be able to marry you.’ He grabbed her hand as she started to move away. ‘Wait, where are you going?’

‘Home. There is nothing more to say.’

‘Lisette, please don’t do that. Stay, and we will work things out. I understand that you are upset but I’m sure that we can come to some sort of arrangement.’

‘No Evander, you were right when you said it was impossible. I will not be an arrangement. I will not be your mistress and you will not be my husband. We are at an impasse, my Lord Gainswith, and neither one of us is willing to concede,’ she said as she wrenched her hand from his grasp. For a second she stared at Evander but she began to tremble and her vision blurred. Without another word she walked over to the green swathed curtains and pulled them aside.

‘Wait Lisette, I shall accompany you home,’ Evander said as he stood up.

She looked over her shoulder and said, ‘No, you shall not. Goodnight Evander and goodbye. We shall not meet again.’ Quickly she slipped between the curtains and continued to walk through the busy dining hall. Hot tears threatened to spill down her face. The doorman tipped his hat as he opened the door for her.

‘Might I summon a carriage?’

‘Yes...thank you,’ Lisette whispered. She gathered her cloak around her in an attempt to ward off the coolness of the evening...or Evander’s brittle words. There was a fine, misty rain that clung to all the surfaces like a glittering mantle. It coated the street with a shiny slick. It was carried on a cold breeze that wound its way through the darkened buildings and the crowded city. The rain was soft and sweet as it blew into Lisette’s face and she welcomed it. The hansom cab trotted up and then came to a stop. The doorman opened the door for Lisette and assisted her into the carriage. She nodded thanks before turning to the driver. ‘Beggars Mews please.’

‘I’m sorry Miss, what did you say?’

‘Take me to Beggars Mews.’

‘A fine lady like yourself doesn’t want to go to a place like that.’

‘Yes, I do — now if you would be so kind and take me there at once. If not I shall find another who will.’

With a shrug of his shoulders the driver flicked the reins and the carriage moved off. Lisette stared out the window at the gas-lit street.
I will not cry... I will not cry.
Her hands clasped hard together in her lap, her body stiff as if she was a wind-up music box that had been wound too far. Tension turned her stomach as the carriage clattered over the dark cobblestones. Minutes passed but she did not heed them as her mind was trapped in a never-ending loop.

‘I can’t marry you! I mean... It is not that I do not wish to marry you. It is that my family would never allow it. I may be the second son but my father is an Earl. I am expected to marry a girl of impeccable breeding, with ready money and estates. I thought you would understand that.’

His words were as bitter as any bile and Lisette squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to block them out. What a fool she had been to think that Evander would actually marry her. After several minutes the carriage jerked to a halt and Lisette was shaken out of her thoughts. She quickly descended, handed a coin to the driver and turned away, relieved that she was finally alone.

‘Do you want me to wait?’ the driver called out.

‘No, but thank you for your concern,’ Lisette said softly. ‘I shall be fine.’

‘Very well, but it don’t seem right,’ the driver said before he took up the reins again. ‘Walk on!’

Lisette didn’t wait for the carriage to leave; she was already walking down Beggars Mews, towards where she belonged. Tears fell of their own accord and trickled down her cheeks. She let them fall unchecked. She tried to erase the rosy picture from her mind; the perfect image of what her future with Evander would have been like. What a fool she had been, so blinded by Evander’s charm and pretty words she had lost sight of reality. A reality that was hard and sharp and cut her to pieces.

The rain was falling heavier now and it made the metal steps of the staircase slippery. Lisette paused when she was half way up. She leant on the rail and dragged in a breath. The air was cold and a shudder rippled through her body. The rain splattered on her, running down her face, mingling with her tears. Her fingers tightened over the rail and the iron bit into her flesh. The first sob reverberated from deep within, then she sank down on the tiny, open landing and wept. How could she have misjudged him? How could she have been so wrong?

She didn’t know how long it took for her heaving sobs to stop. She swayed on her feet as she stood up. Her dress was wet through and she couldn’t stop shivering. With trembling fingers, Lisette opened the catch of the window and ducked into her room.

‘Lisette, is that you?’

Cringing, Lisette walked through her room. She had hoped that Aunt Marie would have been asleep but, of course, that was not the case. Lisette wasn’t sure how long she had sat out on the landing for tonight. A minute or an hour? No matter how long it was she had no more tears left. Her throat was dry and hoarse from crying. She felt tired, spent and numb. The last thing she wanted was to be interrogated by her aunt but luck was far from her side.

‘Yes, Aunt Marie.’

‘Good. Well, come in here and tell me how your evening was.’

Lisette stepped through into the main room but leant against the wall.

‘It was fine. If you don’t mind Aunt... I am very tired.’

Marie turned her head and almost immediately her interest was snared. ‘What has happened to your face — your eyes are puffy. You can go to bed after you have explained what has happed tonight and why you are dripping wet.’

‘Evander asked me to be his mistress.’ Lisette’s voice sounded hollow and each word caught and scratched at her throat.

Marie smiled. ‘Is that not what you hoped for, Lisette? I was sure that you were in love with him.’

‘I am but I also thought he was in love with me. I was inexperienced and stupid but I thought that Evander would marry me.’

Marie threw back her head and laughed. It was harsh and mocking and it stabbed at Lisette’s heart. ‘Dear God, child, are you so simple? Of course Lord Gainswith could never marry you, but he will provide for you. What did he offer?’

Lisette shivered as she tried to be detached from her emotions. She stood by the door and wondered if it was another girl altogether speaking. Her voice sounded desolate and jagged and not at all her own. ‘He offered a house and an allowance...and his time whenever he could manage it.’

‘Good, good...but I’m sure we can sweeten the deal. Perhaps we can get him to include a carriage and a higher allowance which encompasses your gowns.’

‘There will not be any deal. I will not see Lord Gainswith again!’

Marie’s smile broadened. ‘Oh you little fool, you truly are in love with him. Go to bed. Everything will appear clear in the morning. If you want Evander, the only way you can have him is if you accept his offer.’

‘I will not change my mind, Aunt Marie. If he does not marry me, then I shall not have him,’ Lisette said.

‘Go to bed. You are becoming shrill. And get out of those wet clothes before you fall ill. We will discuss whether or not you are going to accept Lord Gainswith’s arrangement tomorrow,‘ Marie said before turning her head as if to dismiss her.

Lisette walked back into her room and began to strip off her sodden clothes. If Evander had truly loved her, he would have found a way to marry her.

Marie reached for her brandy and threw it back in one gulp. Lisette was an idiot to think she actually thought the boy would marry her. Silly little chit! She showed that she inherited her mother’s lack of brains and intellect. Mélisande had been the same, all wrapped up in the ideals of love without paying any attention to reality.

Biting her bottom lip, Marie shook her head. Mélisande had been swayed by trinkets and declarations of love. Her mind would spin with perfect pictures of the future, which included herself, Lisette, and the new beau as the ideal family. But it was always Marie who had to find dinner each night and enough coin to keep a roof over their heads. Once her sister became famous then Marie’s job was simplified. At least there was more than enough money to feed the three of them.

But just as their lives looked promising, Mélisande had found love with a secret beau. She was going to leave, taking her money and Lisette with her. After everything Marie had done for her, she was preparing to abandon her. Marie wouldn’t allow that to happen; she wouldn’t be abandoned or betrayed.

For months Marie had been seeing the hedonistic Vincent de Vale. He was a young lord who had just come into his fortune, with the demise of his poor, dear papa. He was younger than Marie and at the beginning she thought him impressionable. She had been wrong but they were drawn together just as strongly as a moth flies towards the deadly flame. They amplified each other’s lusts and wants and lack of empathy. Marie fed Vincent’s ever-growing dark desires and lined their pockets with the stupidity and suffering of others. She would use Vincent to seduce her sister. Mélisande’s affair with her secret love would end and then she would find a way for a small accident to befall her. Nothing too serious, just enough so Marie could replace her as the principal dancer. It was a simple enough plan but then everything changed with a look.

It was a small glance that neither Mélisande nor Vincent realized she had witnessed. But Marie had seen the way Vincent looked at her sister. it was a look of something soft, fragile and pure. Marie had been stunned. In an instant her world tipped and as she gazed at Mélisande she felt the hot, white rage infuse every pore of her body. Mélisande had always had everything — the beauty, grace, and ability. Men fell under her spell as if by magic and she was the darling of the Paris de opera. But she would not have Vincent, no one ever would. Vincent belonged to her.

Marie refilled her glass and took another mouthful. It burned the back of her throat. The past was as dead as Mélisande; best let it lie. To think on it gives the ghosts of the past power, power to come and accuse. Besides, she had more important things to contemplate, the first being how she was going to make Lisette see what an opportunity it was for her to become Evander’s mistress.

Evander reached for the champagne flute and threw its contents down his throat with one gulp. He reached for the bottle, refilled the glass and drained the bubbly liquid immediately. He barely registered the fruity taste or the exquisite sensations as a myriad of tiny bubbles exploded in his mouth.

He slumped back in his chair and stared ahead, focusing on nothing as he replayed the scene with Lisette over again in his head. The last thing he had expected was that she would leave. He tossed the glass back on the table and contemplated another drink. She had said that she loved him, but obviously not enough. He had thought that she would be happy that he had found a way they could be together. After all the trouble and expense he was willing to outlay, after all the time and thought he had put.... He closed his eyes and rubbed one hand over his wrinkled brow.