Dangerous Temptations (12 page)

Chapter Twelve

I felt like an idiot for giving Alex that part of me. I rarely talked about my past. Not even William knew the intimate details and that was how I wanted it, but with Alex…something shifted. I lowered my guard and felt safe talking to him. Perhaps it’s because we’re the same age and I felt he could understand, but I was wrong. He only used it to get back at me, and now I hated him. He didn’t even realize how hard that was for me to talk about.

William texted me at nine-thirty letting me know his flight was delayed and not to wait up for him. It was good timing too because I needed to get myself back together. It was only the first weekend Alex had been here and it’s already been hell. He wouldn’t get the hint and he was making it nearly impossible to forget what we did.

I couldn’t explain it. I wished I could, but my body remembered him. The moment he pressed his body into mine, I relaxed and surrendered to him. I had thought it was William, but my body knew. The way my body tingled and heated, how just the tips of his fingers sent shivers down my body, or the way his lips made arousal build up inside me. There was something about Alex that seemed unforgettable. Something about that night that connected us in a way I couldn’t understand.

Once I calmed down, I realized what hurt the most were his questions about my reasons for being with William. I didn’t appreciate the media ridiculing me, but it hurt worse coming from Alex. I didn’t like being second-guessed. I knew my reasons for being with William were legit and real. On a conscious level, the money and fame never came into the equation, but I knew people assumed it did.

I never questioned my attraction to William. It was almost immediate, and when he showed me the side of him the media didn’t recognize, I knew our love was real and genuine, too.

I WOKE UP
before the sun, shifting from side to side, unable to fall back asleep. William was next to me now. I must’ve passed out before he arrived back home.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He turned and smiled, rubbing his thumb softly against my cheek.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” I asked with concern. I knew he couldn’t have slept much.

“No, just my internal clock. Never shuts off no matter what time I go to bed.”

“Do you have a busy schedule today?”

“No, actually. I had most of my morning meetings canceled. I have a late afternoon conference call though.” He pulled my body to his, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I pressed my cheek to his chest, putting an arm around his waist as we just lay there together. William was in good shape, not that he had much time to work out, but he kept himself active enough. I remember seeing him naked for the first time and thinking he didn’t look anything like I had imagined. He looked better.

I groaned at the sound of my alarm clock. “Dammit.” I quickly rolled over and turned it off and then turned back to lie in his arms again. “I just want to stay like this all day.” I wiggled my body against him, nuzzling my face deeper and firmer against him. It was moments like this that I just
knew
William could make me happy for the rest of our lives. All the doubt, all the insecurities of my past evaporated when I got William like this. Just us.

He brushed his fingers through my hair, slowly and softly, as we lay together for another five minutes. Eventually, I kissed him and had to start getting ready for work. I was buttoning up my shirt when William’s hands landed on my hips, his mouth in the nape of my neck. I shivered, feeling his hands and hot breath on me. William was always responsive to me, and I was to him, but lately, our schedules kept us from really spending time together.

“How’d the weekend go with Alexander?” he asked, still pressed to me. My body tensed, but I tried my best to relax so he wouldn’t notice. The last person I wanted to talk about was Alex, but I knew I had to act as if it didn’t bother me.

“Fine. He unpacked and I cooked. Nothing major.”

He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “Good. I hope he comes back around.”

I turned to face him and asked, “Did something happen between you two? You guys seem to butt heads a little. Or perhaps it’s just the Lancaster testosterone.” I smiled a little so he wouldn’t take me completely serious, but I really did want to know.

“Just things in the past with us. No worries. He’ll be fine.” He dipped his head and kissed my cheek, giving me a vague response that he typically does whenever it deals with Alex or his late wife. I never pushed it. I wanted him to tell me on his own terms. I knew what it was like to want to keep things hidden, not wanting to consciously think of them, so I always let it go.

BY WEDNESDAY, MY
schedule was back to the crazy routine of long work hours and coming home just in time to see William before he went to bed. We were used to seeing each other just a couple hours at night before bed and sometimes in the morning before we both left for work. It worked for us. It made the times we were together that much more special.

I avoided Alex like the plague. He was busy preparing for job interviews, and I was busy keeping myself away from him. After the stunt he pulled Sunday night, I wanted as much distance between us as possible.

I woke up late Thursday, hitting the snooze button one too many times. I hurried and got ready, rushing out the door before stopping in the kitchen to grab something to eat since I wouldn’t have time to stop anywhere.

When I reached the fridge, I saw a small brown bag with pink lettering on it. It was from the bakery a few blocks down so I peeked inside. There was a bagel with a small cream cheese cup and a plastic knife. I held it up to my nose and inhaled the raisin and cinnamon scent. It was my favorite flavor.

I smiled as I thought of William making sure I had something to eat on my way out. I opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle before making my way out.

“Good morning,” I heard Alex’s voice from the other doorway. I cringed, really hoping I’d dodge him this early in the morning.

“Not now, Alex.” I wasn’t in the mood for his crap. I stuffed the water bottle and bagel into my bag and began walking toward the front door.

“Not now, what?” he asked, following behind me.

“Not now,
you
.” I turned around to glare at him, but he was smirking at me. “What’s funny?”

“You’re adorable in the morning.” He leaned against the doorway of the hallway and crossed his arms. His eyes burned into mine.

I turned around, grabbing the door handle and hissed, “Screw you, Alex.”

“Anytime, sweetheart. Just say the word,” he replied. I glanced at him briefly, which ended up being a bad idea. His smug grin only pissed me off more, so I flipped him the bird and yanked open the door.

“Enjoy your bagel,” he called out right before I slammed the door shut on him. God, he was infuriating.

As I arrived at my office, I buried myself in as much work as possible. I responded to emails, made appointments, and even re-organized my desk as I stuffed my face. My assistant was on vacation starting today, so I made sure I wouldn’t be overbooked but had just enough to keep me busy.

“Have time for a lunch date?”

My head popped up as soon as I heard William’s voice. I nearly screamed as I saw him standing in front of my desk. “Oh my god! What are you doing here?” I jumped up and rounded my desk, wrapping my arms around him.

“I just thought I’d come and surprise my fiancée and take her out to lunch. Is that all right?” He smiled and kissed my forehead. “That’s if you have time.”

“Of course!”

I peeked into Laura’s office and told her I was taking my lunch. She was on the phone and waved me out, so I took that as an okay. I grabbed my purse and led William to the elevator where we discussed where to go for lunch.

“So what are you in the mood for?”

“Hm…” I hadn’t even thought about lunch, but now that he mentioned it, I was quite hungry. That bagel helped a bit, but it was from hours ago. “There’s a cute little deli just a few blocks from here.”

“Wherever you’d like, darling.” He stepped into the elevator and cupped my face, looking deep into my eyes.

“Yes?” I nervously sucked my lip in between my teeth as I looked back into his.

“Nothing.” He shrugged and smiled. “You just look really beautiful today.”

“Thank you.” I smiled back and welcomed his lips as he leaned in and placed his mouth against mine.

I soaked in the moments William and I had together. There weren’t many like this, but they were special. I loved having his attention on just me, even if it was only for a short lunch.

“The turkey club is really good,” I said as we stood in line, waiting for our turn. “But you’ll have to clarify you don’t want the bacon.”

“But what if I want the bacon?” he mocked, chancing a glance at me.

I scowled, shaking my head at him. “Then you’ll die,” I replied bluntly as we made our way to the cashier.

“I doubt that,” was his last remark before we placed our order and found a small table to sit at.

I shook my head as he took a large, exaggerated bite into his sandwich, which, by the way, he left the bacon on. I bit into my chicken chipotle Panini just as his phone started to ring.

I sighed as I ripped the cover off my fat-free strawberry yogurt. “Do you have to answer that?”

He pulled it out of his dress shirt pocket and checked the name before silencing it. “I’ll call them back.”

“Thank you.”

WE MADE LIGHT
conversation until most of our lunch was finished and then I remembered I needed to ask him about his upcoming schedule. “When are you flying out again?

“Next Tuesday. I have to be in Dallas for an evening meeting and then from there I’m flying out to LA.”

“When will you be back?”

“Thursday evening, darling. Then I have an early conference call Friday. But I’m home over the weekend.”

“That’s great.” I smiled, hating that he’d be so busy. “You’ll be around this weekend?”

“Yes, I believe so. Why?”

I sipped my drink before answering, “My event?” I prompted, a little irritated that he’d forgotten.

“Oh, yes. Of course, darling.” I smiled happy he had at least cleared his schedule for it. I’ve been looking forward to it for months and was nervous just thinking about it.

Chapter Thirteen

I stepped into the kitchen and saw another brown bag with pink lettering on it. I grabbed it and instantly smelled the delicious scent of cinnamon. I peeked in and saw another bagel just like the morning before. I was getting pretty fond of William’s new habit.

I grabbed a plate and set the bagel and cream cheese on it. I poured a glass of orange juice and sat down to quickly eat. I’d have to leave in ten minutes if I wanted to get to work on time.

“Good morning,” I heard Alex before I saw him, but my body instantly reacted. I sat up taller, my body tensing just at the sound of his voice.

I swallowed and answered, “Morning.” I was still actively trying to avoid him, but I knew I couldn’t for long. He seemed to find ways to interrupt any quiet and alone time I had. “You’re up early,” I said just before seeing that he was in running shorts and sweat was dripping from his bare chest. His hair was slicked back and his body looked tight as if he had just worked out. “You run?” I asked, a bit shocked I didn’t know this before now.

“Yes.” He walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water out.

“Since when?” I asked but then shoved a bite of bagel in my mouth. I should be ignoring him. Avoiding him. Anything but talking to him while he stood looking like that in front of me.

“Keeping tabs on me now?” I could tell he was smirking by the flirty tone in his voice.

“No. Was just asking.”

“Good looks and tight muscles don’t just happen overnight.”

“You’re so arrogant,” I spat out, finishing my juice and bagel so I could get the hell out of there.

“I’d say confident, which most chicks dig, by the way.” He winked, and I wanted to slap that stupid grin right off his face. He knew what he was doing, and I wasn’t going to let him.

“Well, good thing I’m not most chicks. I, for one, have a brain.”

“Well, then it’s a good thing I know what your favorite bagel is. Brain food is important, you know,” he said, amusement lay heavily in his tone, and I suddenly felt the urge to throw something at him.

“The bagels are from you?” I asked shocked and a bit pissed off at myself for not considering it.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Glad to know you’re enjoying them.”

“How’d you know my favorite flavor?” I asked a bit self-conscious.

He walked toward me, eyes focused on me and intense. “I know a lot about you.”

I swallowed and let his eyes captivate me for a moment. I shook my head, needing to break the tension. I quickly stood up and walked to the sink. “Oh, yeah…I hear it’s real hard to navigate Google.”

“Everything I know about you is from experience and observation, Mac. I don’t need Google,” he said seriously, his voice almost pained from the accusation.

“You’ve known me for like five minutes, Alex.”

“Actually, I’ve known you for almost three weeks, Mac. I know it’s not a hell of a lot of time, but every second has counted in some way.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Eventually, you’ll move out, and I’ll only have to put up with you on holidays and birthdays,” I said smugly, hoping to piss him off.

I turned around to grab my things to leave, but he was standing directly behind me and caged me in with his solid arms. “I’ll guaran-fucking-tee you, holidays and birthdays would never be enough with you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure of it.”

“You’re crazy, you know that? Stop chasing after something you’ll never catch,” I threatened and meaning every word.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he says, amusement thick in his tone as he looked down at me and smirked. “You’re ignorant if you think all you are is a chase for me. If that were the case, I’d push that skin-tight skirt over your hips and fuck you up against this counter.” I swallowed as he leaned in even closer, grazing his lips against mine as he continued just above a whisper, “I’ve already had a taste of you…on my tongue, on my cock. I’ve already been buried deep inside of you as your tits bounced in my face. I didn’t need to chase that hard in the first place, so if that were the case, I’d stop wanting you.”

“You can’t talk to me like that.”

“Says who, princess?”

Anger boiled in my blood as he challenged me. The way he was looking at me, reminding every cell in my body how close we were. My chest rose and fell as my heart pounded hard against his body. I wanted him in a way that didn’t make sense. I wanted to hate him. But the flashes of our night together haunted me. I wanted to remember, I wanted to feel what he felt like, even just for a moment. And that feeling scared the hell out of me.

I didn’t know how to respond, so I did the only thing I could to relieve the ache.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed our faces together, molding our lips as one. His body jerked in response, cupping my face in both of his hands. I released a moan as he pressed himself into me, rubbing the length of his erection against my stomach. His hands moved down to my waist and thighs, cupping my ass and lifting me up on the counter. His hands roamed up my legs, pushing my skirt up with them. I spread my legs wider for him, leaving no space between us as he stood in front of me.

His mouth was greedy and hot, kissing me fiercely and with no apologies. His hands continued exploring my body as our tongues tangled in a messy battle. One hand pressed against my face as the other slid up and down my body from my breast down to my waist.

I became lost in him, in us. My body remembered everything about how he made me feel, but my mind was still catching up. It was obvious—the tension between us palpable—heavy, hot breathing, the only sounds in the room. It was wrong, but I didn’t know how to stop it. My body craved it, my mind took it, and my mouth devoured it.

He was my kryptonite. I was his addiction.

I fisted my hands in his shirt, keeping him close to me. One hand wandered down further and squeezed my thigh. I moaned in response, his fingers tangling in the fabric of my panties.

My back arched as his mouth moved to my throat. I put both hands behind me as his lips continued devouring the flesh of my bare neck and chest. His fingers moved my panties to one side as he slipped a finger inside of me, sending a harsh shiver down my body. “You like this?” he taunted, pulling his hand back slightly. I groaned in response. “Or something more like this?” he whispered as he trailed up to my ear. He twisted his wrist and sunk it in deeper, making my hips jerk in response.

“Oh, god…” The moans I tried to hold in were uncaged. My hips moved on their own accord as my body heated from the arousal he was building up inside me. His lips covered my mouth again, soaking up the moans and screams I could barely contain. He worked another finger in, twisting and stroking deeper and harder. “Yes…yes…” I panted—an orgasm just within reach. I couldn’t think, only feel and he was making me feel something I had never felt before.

Just as I felt my body tighten, Alex released his hold on me and jerked away. I quickly opened my eyes in response, shocked and embarrassed that he had stopped just before letting me release on his fingers.

I could feel the flush across my face as my chest rose and fell again, my heartbeat vibrating loudly against my ribs. He looked dangerous…his eyes tense and his hands balled into fists.

“Alex…” I panted, gripping my hands against the edge of the counter.

He stepped toward me, pressing his forehead to mine. His heavy breathing matched mine as we struggled to catch our breaths. Realization finally washed over me and I felt worse than ever.

“Not like this…” he began, guilt rising up in my core at how pained his voice sounded. “Not here.”

I closed my eyes to keep the tears from coming, but my body was so worked up, and my mind was spinning out of control between what my body wanted and what my mind knew.

I wanted to say something, to beg him to forget this ever happened, but I couldn’t get the words to come out. He leaned back on his heels and turned away, storming out of the kitchen and leaving me behind.

I jumped off the counter and sunk to the ground. I buried my head in my knees as tears leaked down my cheeks. How could I let that happen?

I COULDN’T FOCUS
on anything at work. I kept screwing shit up, messing up emails and even told another assistant to shove my six inch heels up her ass.

Yes…it’d been a bad day.

I knew what I needed to do and the thought scared the crap out of me. I needed to confront Alex. I needed him to know it couldn’t—
wouldn’t
—happen again. If we had to stay in the same house together, we needed to act like two grown-ups and put it all past us.

However, my gut feeling was telling me he probably wouldn’t accept that.

I texted Staci earlier to meet up for happy hour so I could talk this out. Part of me wanted her to just be there for me while the other part wanted her to knock some sense into me.

As I walked into the Pony Bar, I found Staci already in a booth waiting for me. I immediately smiled as a wave of relief washed over me. It was always good to see her.

“Hey! You look like shit,” she said, wrapping her arms around me.

“It’s always a pleasure to see you, too.”

She released her hold on me and studied my face. “Sorry. You just look rough, is all.”

“Yeah, well I feel rough.”

“What’s going on?” she asked as we took a seat across from each other.

I rolled my eyes as I answered, “Alex. That’s what’s going on.”

A waitress stopped by and took our drink order before I responded. “I might’ve kissed him.” She gasped and her jaw dropped in response. I bowed my head and put my hands on my forehead. “I know, I know!”

“So wait…last I heard was the whole shower incident. Then you were avoiding him like the plague. What happened?”

“I had been avoiding him, but then he caught me in the kitchen early this morning, and we were bickering and next thing I knew, my mouth was on his.” I took a sip of my margarita and waited for her to flip out.

“So
you
kissed
him
?”

I cringed just hearing those words. “Sort of.”

“Mac…what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” My face fell into my hands. I really didn’t know.

“So what happened after that?”

I felt my face reddened, embarrassed just thinking about it. “He pulled me up on the counter and kissed me back. Then he backed away, said ‘not like this’ and stormed out.” I sighed, closing my eyes. “It was humiliating. I don’t know what got into me.”

“This isn’t you, Mac…” She paused to flash me a sympathetic smile. “You’ve always been the good girl. It was one thing to have a one-night stand, but to carry it on? You aren’t the type of person to do that. You’re loyal and kind, not a cheater. Hell, you even put your real weight on your driver’s license!”

I exhaled, massaging my temples. She was right. Ever since Brittainy’s bachelorette party, something changed. “I’ve never had a one-night stand before, Stace. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I just…I wish I could go back to three weeks ago and none of this would be happening.”

“Okay, listen. It’s obvious you’re attracted to him. You like him, but is it enough to call off the engagement? Is that even what you want?”

“No…I mean, I don’t know. He makes me feel different. When I’m with William, it’s easy, simple. I love him and he loves me. It’s not messy. With Alex, it’s…complicated. I don’t
want
to have those feelings for him. Does that make me sound crazy?”

“No, it makes you human. You just need to make a decision. Is William enough for you? And if so, what are you going to do about Alex? You can’t keep living with him while you’re planning your wedding. Or you just need to straight up tell him.”

“Tell him what?” I took another large sip.

“That his games aren’t going to work anymore. That you love William and he can either get over it or move out. Plain and simple.”

I couldn’t be sure if it was the alcohol or the idea of facing him again, but my stomach turned and I starting feeling nauseous. “I can’t believe I kissed him…” I mumbled, shaking my head at myself. “I don’t know what it is about him, but it’s like I just can’t think straight around him.”

“Well, it doesn’t help that he’s hot as fuck.” I glared back at her. “But that aside, the quicker you do it, the quicker it’s over. Plus, your event is tomorrow. You deserve to enjoy yourself without all this added stress.”

Shit
. The charity event had been all I could think about up until a few weeks ago. The distraction of Alex and him moving in had pulled me elsewhere. I needed to do this tonight or I’d never be able to get through tomorrow night without a panic attack.

Staci waved the waitress back over and ordered another round. We drank and laughed and talked more about the event. I was hosting it with the charity spokesperson and Staci had helped with small details here and there.

“I’m bummed you aren’t going.” I pouted, pushing my lower lip out at her.

“Trust me, I wish I could.” She sipped on her straw, sucking out the final drops of her drink. Her sister just had a baby and she was being baptized this Sunday, which meant she had to fly out tomorrow afternoon.