Darcy's Temptation (52 page)

“Our mother could not be so stringent,” Kitty gulped the words.

Elizabeth said without emotion,“I will be a shamed woman; our mother will be displeased. Anyway, I will follow you in a few days. I think it best if I maintain my usual schedule of tenant calls and other obligations; it will paint a picture of contentment.” Elizabeth dropped her eyes, knowing she had no intention of going to Hertfordshire.“Does this seem reasonable?”

“It is as reasonable as a state of chaos might be,” Kitty whispered softly.

“Now, will you ask Mr. Ashford to attend me? I wish to speak to him privately.”

“Yes, Lizzy.” Kitty dejectedly left the room.

After a few brief minutes, Mr. Ashford appeared at the door of the study. “Mrs. Darcy,” he said as he bowed briefly, “you wished to speak to me?”

“Yes, Mr. Ashford.” Elizabeth looked up to make eye contact.“Please come join me. I have some issues with which I must speak to you.”

Ashford, aware of Elizabeth's formality and Kitty Bennet's distraught look, knew not what happened, but the composition suddenly changed. He came to sit gingerly on the edge of the settee's cushion.

Elizabeth looked him directly in the eyes, needing for Ashford to see her as determined.“Mr.Ashford, I wish to speak
to you on a matter of importance, and I hope you will excuse the impropriety of my frankness in doing so.”

“Mrs. Darcy, I respect your thoughts and would find no offense in your manners.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Do you love my sister?” she asked suddenly.

“Most ardently.” He looked away uncomfortably.

“I am pleased to hear it, Sir.” Elizabeth added a smile to her countenance, and Ashford let out his breath, feeling Elizabeth tested him. “Now, I must ask you to make a decision which will change your life.”

Ashford looked bewildered.“I do not understand, Mrs. Darcy.”

“Bear with me, Mr. Ashford; these are not words easy for me to say.” Elizabeth's eyes misted over.

“Mrs. Darcy, I will do anything to help you; you must just tell me your desire.”

Elizabeth swallowed hard. “It is my belief, Sir, that my marriage to Mr. Darcy is over, and I will be asked to leave Pemberley. My concern now is for you and my sister. Obviously, you are placed in a precarious situation. If I must leave Pemberley, Kitty cannot remain here; Mr. Darcy will never tolerate that. I am sending her back to Longbourn tomorrow.”

Ashford looked around, not sure how to respond. “Are you positive this is Mr. Darcy's wish?”

“My husband through his actions and his words expressed his wishes,” Elizabeth confided. “What you must decide, Sir, is what you will do. I will not ask you for your answer at this moment—it is not a decision you can take lightly. If you choose to marry Kitty, you must decide whether to stay here and risk Mr. Darcy's censure; I know not how he will react. I assume my husband will be fair as is always his nature, but Mr. Darcy's anger may be an issue, as well as if he chooses to take another wife. The new Mrs. Darcy may resent my sister living under Mr. Darcy's care.Your other choice is to seek another living.”

“Neither choice would be mine. I cannot fathom your distress, Mrs. Darcy.” Ashford's comforting tone nearly undid Elizabeth's resolve.

“Mr. Ashford, if you marry Kitty, I will give you five hundred pounds. It is not much, but it will help you survive your choice. With economy, you can live comfortably while you seek another position, or you may use it to live quietly while you wait for the hubbub revolving my disengagement to die down.”

“Mrs. Darcy, you are generous to a fault, but you need not do this,”Ashford protested.

Elizabeth reached out and patted his hand. “Mr. Ashford, your goodness is such a blessing,” Elizabeth said quietly, “but I cannot allow my sister's chance at happiness to be destroyed by my situation. If I had more, I would give it to you to secure Kitty's love for you.”

“Then you think Miss Bennet loves me, too?” Ashford asked in disbelief. He always knew Kitty held him in affection, but never really thought she loved him, even though she professed it often enough.

“My sister's heart belongs to you, Sir; however, Kitty is afraid of her commitment to you. She has few good examples of the pleasure of marriage which to emulate. My parents married impulsively, and theirs is not a loving one. Mr. Wickham neglects our youngest sister Lydia. Now, Mr. Darcy and I are doomed. Other than my eldest sister Jane and Mr. Bingley, Kitty has no models of success. She fears you will tire of her soon so she keeps her emotions in check.”

“How can Miss Bennet so doubt my regard?”Ashford baffled.

“My dear, Mr. Ashford,” Elizabeth laughed lightly, “you will find the Bennet sisters are experts at misconstruing the men they love. I once thought myself an expert in judging others, but my relationship with Mr. Darcy proved my prejudices were many.”

Ashford questioned,“Is it possible, Mrs. Darcy, you misconstrue your husband's motives again?”

Elizabeth paused briefly, looking off into space. “My dream would be to find this is a nightmare, and I would wake in my husband's arms; but I fear those dreams cannot come true.”

“Mrs. Darcy, what should I do?”Ashford's tone held his sorrow.

“Go find my sister and make your plans. Love and cherish Kitty, and you will prove all my dreams are not pure frustration.” Elizabeth grasped his hand. “Now, off with you. Find Kitty—she will be gone tomorrow.”

“Yes, Mrs. Darcy.” Ashford stood reluctantly. “I am forever your servant.”With that, he bowed and made his exit.

 

Ashford found Kitty in the music room. She buried her face in her hands, and sobs rocked her shoulders. Ashford rushed forward and knelt in front of her. “Miss Bennet,” he spoke softly,“please look at me.”

“I cannot,” she nearly wailed.

He pleaded,“Please, Kitty, we must talk now.”

Kitty stifled her tears and tried to raise her eyes to meet his. “I am sorry to be such a trouble to you, Sir,” she finally managed to say.

“You did nothing wrong,” he tried to assure her. “We just must decide what will be our next action.” Ashford stood up and walked over to the pianoforte, mindlessly stroking some of the keys.

Kitty watched him walk away; her heart dropped, realizing how much she came to depend on his regard, and the thoughts of how she would miss Clayton Ashford in her life nearly brought her to tears again. But, she would not let what was happening in her own life hurt the man she learned to love. Finally, Kitty stood and squared her shoulders. “Mr. Ashford,” she said the words with resolve, “I release you from our engagement, Sir.”

Ashford spun around, not expecting Kitty's reaction to their situation.“You do what?” he exclaimed.

Kitty tried to steady her voice; she raised her chin to look into his eyes. “I release you from your promise of marriage.” Her voice broke despite her efforts.

“No!” Ashford rushed forward. “I will not have it; you promised to marry me,” he nearly pleaded.

Trying to control her emotions, Kitty looked away as he took her by the shoulders. “Your marrying me will cost you dearly.” Her voice came out small.

“Katherine, look at me,” he demanded of her. “Do you not love me?”

Kitty could deny herself no longer. “Yes, I love you, Clayton; that is why I must let you go. Mr. Darcy will not tolerate your marrying me; you owe your living to him.” Kitty tried to pull away, but Clayton Ashford would have none of it.

“Mr. Darcy does not own me, Katherine; I have my own ideas and my own abilities to provide for you as my wife.You cannot refuse me; I cannot live without you. You scare me when you say such things; my heart cannot take the possibility I may have to spend my life without you.” By now, Ashford's arms encircled her.

“What will we do?” Kitty buried her face into his shoulder.

Feeling relief at her giving in, he whispered into Kitty's ear, “First, you will give me your assurance you will still be my wife.”

Impulsively, Kitty kissed along his chin line, punctuating her words with a staccato of kisses. “Clayton Ashford . . . I will . . . marry you . . . and share . . . your life.”

“I may need for you to remind me of your regard from time to time,” Ashford teased as he lifted her chin to look into Kitty's eyes.

“Any time, my Love,” she smiled at him.

“Then let us together decide what we must do,” he said as he led Kitty to adjoining chairs.

“Elizabeth will not let Mr. Darcy drive her away in shame; she plans to leave on her own terms,” Kitty confided.

“Your sister is a proud woman.”Ashford showed his respect. “Miss Bennet, could Mrs. Darcy be mistaken?”

“Oh, no,” Kitty blushed,“I saw the letter.”

Ashford demanded,“What letter?”

“Lizzy received letters from both Miss Darcy and our Aunt Gardiner indicating Mr. Darcy spends much of his time with a lady of the
ton
. Elizabeth overheard Mr. Darcy tell Colonel Fitzwilliam he would send my sister away. Today an intimate letter came for Mr. Darcy from the same lady seen with him in London.The lady even included a lock of her hair; how could my sister mistake that? Mr. Darcy does poorly by Elizabeth.”

“I find it hard to believe Mr. Darcy could love anyone but your sister. The look in his eyes when she announced their child spoke volumes of his love.” Ashford reached for Kitty's hand; speaking of love and children created a powerful need in him to feel her closeness.

“These great men are only concerned with their heirs,” Kitty added as she tightened her hold on Ashford's hand.

“Never doubt my love for you.” Ashford brought her hand to his lips to kiss it tenderly.

“Nor mine for you,” Kitty returned his regard.

“When will you leave Pemberley?” he asked, dreading her answer.

“Elizabeth must leave soon—before Mr. Darcy's return. Her condition limits how much time she has before her lying in. I will return to Longbourn tomorrow. My sister will continue her duties for a few days before she follows me; Elizabeth plans to stay with Mr. and Mrs. Bingley at Netherfield.”

“Then I will seek another living; I will come for you as soon as I can secure another position.Will you wait for me, my Dearest?”Ashford was on his knees in front of her once again.

Kitty leaned forward to brush his lips with hers; she heard his quick intake of air.“I will wait; I love you, Clayton.”

Against the rules of conduct, Ashford captured Kitty's lips with his. She would be gone tomorrow, and he could chastise himself then.

 

The next day Kitty left for Longbourn. Elizabeth diverted her eyes when Kitty impulsively slipped her arms around Mr. Ashford's waist and kissed him lightly before stepping into the Darcy carriage.

“Give our parents my love,” Elizabeth said loud enough for the servants to hear.

“I will miss you, Lizzy.” Kitty sniffled and dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief. “Take care of yourself and the child.” Kitty looked worried.

“I will do my best,” Elizabeth returned as she stepped away from the coach.

Mr.Ashford gave Kitty a proper bow.“Miss Bennet,” he said as he, too, stepped away to allow the coachman free rein, and the coach to slowly pull away.

Elizabeth asked Mr. Ashford in for tea, but he declined, begging off with an excuse of calling on some parishioners. Elizabeth knew the man needed time to assimilate to the changes in his life. With Kitty's departure, he had to look for another position, and today seemed a good day to start that search.

 

For the next several days, Elizabeth maintained her regular schedule; she called on several of her favorite tenants. She traveled into Lambton on the premise she needed to have a few new day dresses made.While in the village, she paid one of the street urchins five schillings to mail the letters she wrote. She instructed the child to mail one each day for the next four days. She provided him the additional funds for the posting fees. That matter resolved, Elizabeth returned to Pemberley.
Discreetly, she chose clothing and personal items, placing them where she could reach them easily. She planned to leave Lady Anne's jewelry and the other expensive gifts Darcy gave her. She hated most of all to leave Hero, finally deciding to take the dog with her.

The newspapers provided her two options for her escape. Now, with her time at Pemberley limited, she chose a ship leaving midweek in the first part of the month for the Americas. She would leave out of Bristol. Elizabeth hated taking money from Darcy's household funds for her trip, but she had no choice. With no fortune of her own, she would depend on her husband one last time.

Likely, she would give birth aboard ship, an idea that petrified her.With no one she knew to help her, she would be at the mercy of strangers. Mr. Harrison gave her the names of several dependable captains and vessels from which to choose.The ship leaving out of Bristol would take her to Virginia. Elizabeth had the names of people to contact upon her arrival in the States. She expected to take a position as a schoolteacher, being given a small house, a place where she could raise her child in private. It was a gamble, but she had no other options. If she stayed in England, she would be a shamed woman, and Darcy would have her child; she had no legal rights.

Everything was in place; now all she had to do was play the role of the concerned daughter, pretending to rush to Hertfordshire to care for a parent.Tomorrow, she would leave Pemberley.

After retiring to her room, Elizabeth penned a letter to Darcy, explaining her actions. She had not been in his study since the day Miss McFarland's letter arrived. In fact, the letter still lay on the desk, along with the lock of hair. She forbid any of the servants to touch the study—to disturb the evidence she would leave for his eyes—a way to disclose his deceit. Part of her prayed he would feel sorrow at his loss; part of her wanted Darcy to allow her to start over.