Darcy's Temptation (49 page)

Georgiana anxiously opened the letter from Elizabeth. The letters from her brother's wife soothed Georgiana's homesick-ness, and the girl reread them religiously. She and her brother had been in London nearly three weeks, and all she wanted was to return to Pemberley.

When her brother returned from his club, Georgiana shared Elizabeth's letter. She watched his reaction closely. “Elizabeth handles the estate well, Fitzwilliam,” Georgiana said cautiously.

“She does,” he added, but did not quit reading the letter. “I
should have been there,” he whispered.

“What, Fitzwilliam?” Georgiana called, although she heard him plainly.

“Nothing, Georgiana.” He turned back to her. “I am sure Mr. Howard sent his report.” A feeling of jealousy rose in Darcy again. His wife's praise of his steward did not set well with him. He pictured Elizabeth desolate at the loss of her horse, and Mr. Howard comforting her before putting the horse down. The image rocked his being. It also bothered Darcy the horse was one of his wedding gifts to his wife, and now it was gone.

 

Darcy sat at the desk in his study wondering about this decision to come to London and to leave Elizabeth at Pemberley. Each night he dreamed of her—of how she touched him—of how she kissed him. Each night he dreamed of her with the tenants and with the staff at Pemberley; Elizabeth made his house a home. Darcy had been in London for several weeks, and he had yet to see a woman half as pretty as his Elizabeth. A fleeting smile played across his lips. Soon—soon he would go home to her.

Elizabeth opened the letter from her Aunt Gardiner expecting news about her nieces and nephews. She had an image of Darcy holding Cassandra Gardiner at Christmastime and how she rejoiced in knowing she would give him his own child soon. Elizabeth ached from the memory, feeling deprived of her great love.

As the weeks passed and Elizabeth continued to hear news of Darcy's keeping company with Miss McFarland, she became more convinced her earlier fears of his disengagement a reality. She resolved she would not “allow” Darcy to take their child from her. Men had legal rights to their children, but Elizabeth would find a way.

As an educated woman, she could take a position as a governess; she would feign being a widow and escape. However, Elizabeth realized that would mean she would have to leave everything and everyone she knew. Darcy would spare no expense at tracking her so she must be thorough in her plan.

If Darcy planned to send Elizabeth away, she had no choice. She could not return to Longbourn; her mother would never forgive Elizabeth's shame, and although Jane would offer her a home, Elizabeth could not live at Netherfield each day and not think of Darcy.That is where their “history” began; it would be too painful to endure. Leaving it all behind would be her only choice. She would never contact any of her loved ones again for they could not withstand the pressure Darcy's stature could place on them.

Over the past month, Elizabeth played this scenario through her mind many times. Darcy's obsession with social status told her she would be found wanting. Her husband took his sister to London because he expected Georgiana to live in a world foreign to the one in which Elizabeth was raised. Expectations for Georgiana were high; her thirty thousand pounds would make Miss Darcy desirable. Elizabeth knew what she
expected as acceptable in country society would be regarded with the greatest disapprobation by the
ton
. Her manners were once attractive to Darcy, but the novelty wore off, and her husband now judged her by different standards.
I cannot forget the follies and vices of others so soon as I ought . . . My good opinion once lost is lost forever.
His words ricocheted through Elizabeth, and she shivered instinctively.

Although Elizabeth had few choices, she would not be separated from both the man she loved and the child she carried. She could not lose both of them.Where could she go? It would have to be a place Darcy would not find her. Elizabeth considered Scotland or Ireland, but those were too accessible. Of late her dreams were of India, where many English women traveled to find European husbands, or she could find passage to America, a more uncivilized society, but one in which she and her child could easily disappear.

In that vein, Elizabeth penned a letter to Mr. Harrison. It was another act of impropriety, but her gut feeling told her Harrison would answer her questions and not betray her confidences. As a woman, she could not seek this information without raising eyebrows; Elizabeth had to trust someone, and Chadwick Harrison became her choice.

The letter she received from him clarified some of her concerns. If the child were born onboard ship, its nationality would, generally, depend upon whose waters in which the ship was found. If in British waters, the child was a British citizen. Her “fight” to keep her child could be better portrayed if the child was born in foreign waters. Elizabeth could not believe she even considered such a possibility, but desperation now controlled her every thought.

The confrontation with Elizabeth's uncle irritated Darcy at
first. In fact, initially he thought it typical of Elizabeth's reported low connections; yet, upon further reflection he realized although Mr. Gardiner's accusations were ill founded and formed on mistaken premises, Darcy's behavior at the time merited a severe reproof. He could not think on his behavior without abhorrence. Elizabeth did not deserve such reflected censure. His friends must think her so poor in manners he wished to be elsewhere—away from her—and that was far from the truth. Darcy wanted to be with Elizabeth, not with Cecelia McFarland and her inane chatter about social events. How did he manage to get into this situation?

As bits of his memory returned, Darcy recalled his life with his parents and realized how selfish he had been. His parents taught him the “right” thing to do, but they left him to practice and interact in pride and conceit. Although his parents had a reputation as benevolent and amiable, they actually taught him to care for none but his family circle and to think poorly of those with less stature. Elizabeth demanded he become a man worthy of pleasing a woman such as his wife. Others deferred to his preferences simply because of his social position, but not Elizabeth. She loved him not for his fortune or his position. Now, Darcy taught those same elevated principles to his younger sister. Would it not be better for Georgiana to learn about what to value in life from his Elizabeth?