Dare to Desire (10 page)

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Madison rubbed her bare arms and cuddled farther into the soft velour cushions on Alex’s couch. She didn’t turn on the television because this was the first minute of downtime she’d had all day, and she wanted to just
be
. And savor the fact that, for the moment at least, she wasn’t dealing with life by herself. It felt so good to not be alone, she thought, closing her eyes and letting go.

She had no idea how much time had passed when the couch dipped with heavy weight.

“Hey,” Alex said in that sexy deep voice.

She looked up at him and smiled. “Hey.”

He wore nylon sweats, no shirt, and he smelled so good she wanted to crawl beneath his skin. She had no defenses left today to fight the attraction. She didn’t want to.

“Feeling a little better?” he asked, stroking her cheek with one finger.

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad you came to me.”

She smiled. “I’m glad I had somewhere
to
go.”

“Madison—”

The doorbell rang, interrupting him. “That’s dinner. I’ll get it,” he said.

A few minutes later they were sitting at his table eating Emilio’s pasta. To her surprise, she was feeling not only better but hungry.

She didn’t want to focus on her own life and problems, and he seemed to understand. They talked about work and Riley’s pregnancy and laughed over the fact that Ian was running to feed her pregnancy cravings.

“Are things really better between you and Ian?” she asked, hoping he didn’t mind talking about their relationship.

In the past, he’d always deflected questions about himself, causing her to do the same. She knew it was his way of keeping a distance between them, and the few times he’d slipped and revealed something intimate, he’d immediately rebuilt his walls. She didn’t really think she’d get far now, but she wanted to know and decided to ask. Besides, better to shine the spotlight on his family rather than her lack thereof.

“When I ran into him the other night at the restaurant, he seemed … more interested in my life. Of course it could be so he can have a few laughs at my expense. I’m never sure.”

She chuckled at his supposition. “From what I’ve seen, Ian is a man of few words. The ones he uses, he tends to mean. If he asks, he’s interested.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You think so?” He paused in thought. “You’re probably right. I’m interested in him. I always was. I guess that’s why it bothered me so much that he didn’t feel the same way. But I get why now.”

They’d finished dinner, and she pushed her plate aside, more interested in what he was revealing than cleaning up. Alex was actually confiding in her, and she was mesmerized by every word.

“The thing is, I didn’t have it bad growing up,” Alex continued. “I mean, I wasn’t stupid. I knew something was off between my mother and father. He lived with us, but my parents weren’t married, and we didn’t have Dad’s last name. That’s unusual by any standards.”

“Did you know why they weren’t married?”

He shook his head. “As I got older, it only took a few strokes of the keyboard to find out all I needed to know about Robert Dare, hotel magnate.”

“Ouch,” Madison said softly.

He shrugged, obviously not all that upset by the memory. “It was weird. It didn’t hurt as much as it should have, I guess because I knew we had a father who was always there.”

“Did you confront him?” she asked.

He nodded. “I stormed into their bedroom one night and demanded answers. It turns out Mom knew he had another family all along. He explained how it was complicated and I’d understand more when I was older, but basically his marriage was one of convenience only.” He shook his head. “Clearly more than that since they had kids, but at the time, I didn’t give much thought to it. I mean, I was only fifteen when I figured it all out.”

“Then Sienna got sick?” Madison asked, knowing those touchy details from Riley.

“Childhood leukemia.” He visibly shuddered. “My baby sister, deathly ill. We thought we’d lose her. I mean, my mother actually prepared us, using those words. And one look at Sienna in the hospital, on the rare times we were allowed in to visit her … it was obvious why they were so scared.” His voiced came out gruff and affected.

Unable to stop herself, she rose and walked over to him, intending to give him a comforting hug. He pulled her down onto his lap, obviously wanting the intimate connection. After the day she’d had, she needed the same thing.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Dad had no choice but to go to his wife—Ian’s mother—and ask her to have his other children’s bone marrow tested.”

“Wow. That’s like a soap opera.”

“Yet disturbingly real. I think that’s when it hit home for everyone. Dad had another wife and family, who, as it turned out, knew nothing about my mother or his other kids. It taught us all that my father is definitely a selfish son of a bitch.”

She lay her head against his chest, listening to his rapidly beating heart.

“I lied. When I said the stuff about my father and us not having his name didn’t bother me? It did. I just hated to think about why we were different. What it could mean.”

“I never liked thinking about my parents at all,” she murmured.

“Anything you want to talk about now?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“So tonight’s about me baring my soul?”

She grinned, knowing he couldn’t see. “It’s about time, don’t you think?”

His low chuckle reverberated through her, but she had no doubt she’d have to return the favor one day soon.

“Well, on the one hand, I was grateful I had a father who was present. On the other … kids can be brutal.”

“They made fun of you?” she asked, horrified on his behalf. Although she wasn’t surprised. She’d experienced her own fair share of being made fun of for her hand-me-down clothes and
fake
families.

“They only called us bastards once. I was big enough to hold my own, and so was Jason. Nobody bothered us after we made our point the first time. It was easy to defend my position. As a kid, I trusted in what I’d been told, that my parents didn’t believe in the institution of marriage.” He idly stroked her hair, and she sighed in contentment.

“And now?” she asked, ever perceptive.

“As I got older, I recognized the damage my father had caused. It was harder for Ian than for me.”

“From what Riley told me, Ian idolized your father. His disillusion was the hardest.”

Alex nodded. “All the time Dad was with us, Ian and his four siblings thought he was traveling on business. It made sense since he had hotels all over the country, and they were used to him being an absentee parent. Then he showed up asking for bone marrow for a kid they knew nothing about, only to find out there was another woman and two other children.”

Was it any wonder he’d ended up bitter and angry about relationships? Madison mused. “Yet despite it all, Ian’s mother allowed her kids to be tested. That’s pretty amazing.”

“I agree. And as icing on an already sucky cake, Dad decided, since everything was out in the open, it was time to officially ask for a divorce. He married my mother as soon as it was final.” Alex groaned. “It’s like the shit you see on reality TV. And it’s no wonder Ian resented us. He became the glue that held his mother and siblings together, and we got the father we always had anyway, along with his name.”

“None of that is your fault,” she assured him.

“Maybe not, but I was too thick-headed to get it. I thought I’d gained this hotshot sibling who was going to University of Florida to play football. I wanted to follow in his footsteps. Be like him.”

“And he wanted nothing to do with you.”

“And things went to hell between us from there,” Alex said, admitting all this for the first time, out loud and to himself.

“I bet it hurt,” Madison said, tilting her head up at him. She looked into his deep dark eyes, the handsome face showing all the confusion and pain he kept hidden.

That he was revealing it to her now eased the ever-present constriction in her chest.

“Yeah. And as you know, I don’t react well when hurt, physically or emotionally.” He slid his thumb over her bottom lip.

She licked at his salty finger, doing her best not to moan at the intimate contact.

He cleared his throat. “Anyway, that’s when my official rivalry with Ian began.”

“And it took Riley to end it,” she concluded, and he nodded.

“Can I ask you something?” She glanced away from him as she spoke.

He cocked his head to one side and grinned. “Might as well. I seem to be in an answering mood.”

She refused to meet his gaze. “Do you … or did you have feelings for Riley beyond friendship? Is that why you gave her such a hard time when she met Ian? Because you wanted her for yourself?”

She asked the one question that had always haunted her, even when she knew that, to Riley, there had never been more than sisterly feelings for Alex.

He lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes and face both him and her question, which was all too revealing.

“No, I am not interested in Riley that way. But in the interest of full disclosure, I can’t say that I didn’t try to hook up with her once.”

Madison’s stomach plummeted at the admission, but she’d asked. She had to accept the answer.

“What can I say? I’m a guy, and we do have our idiot moments.” He chuckled, obviously trying to lighten the moment.

Madison didn’t laugh with him.

He grasped her face in his hands. “There is nothing between me and Riley but a lifelong friendship. She’s like my sister. I saved her from a bad situation when we were kids, and it bonded us even more, but that’s it. There’s only one woman I’m interested in now,” he said, his tone gruff.

He removed his thumb and closed his lips over hers, sliding back and forth, coaxing her to open. He didn’t have to try hard. Her defenses were low, her need high. This was Alex, and she’d wanted him for so long. Even when he’d been gone from her life and she should have hated him, she’d still desired him. And now she was going to have him, she thought, parting her lips and letting him in.

Alex realized that in answering Madison’s questions, he had received answers too, and he decided it was time. She was ready to resume a relationship. Not where they’d left off but somewhere fresh and new. This desire consuming not just his body but his emotions was definitely new to him. Acknowledging it and not running, newer still.

“Up,” he said, deciding to take over.

She stood.

He rose and grasped her hand, pulling her toward the couch, where she lay down, enabling him to stretch out beside her. He looked into her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear, the moment as intimate as any in his life.

She leaned into him, and he glided his tongue along the seam of her lips. Dipped his fingers into her hair, tilting her head in the exact position he needed for complete control. He slid his hand down her side, grasped the bottom of her shirt, and pulled it up and over her head. He clamped her wrists in one hand, holding her in place, then pinned her lower body against the couch with his hips. His cock found a home in the cradle of her thighs, his erection hard and aching but exactly where he wanted to be.

“I need to fuck you, Angel,” he said, his low, gravelly voice revealing the depths of his hunger and desire for her. “I need to be so deep I don’t know where you end and I begin.”

Her eyes glazed at his words. “So do it.”

His body shuddered at her sweet acquiescence. He kissed her lips, grazed her neck with his mouth, his teeth. Worked his way lower, nibbling on her soft skin, her collarbone, until she was soft and pliable beneath him. He continued, stretching the cup of her bra beneath her breast. Gripping her arm tighter, he pulled the already taut nipple into his mouth, suckling hard.

With a groan, she tried to free her hands, but he held fast. Her whimper told him how much she needed him. Her hips bucked against his. Sliding deep inside her now would be too easy. It would give her the release she sought, but it wouldn’t prove to her that she needed
him
.

He spent more time on her breasts, divesting her of her lace bra so he could mold and cup the soft mounds of flesh in his hands while tormenting her nipples with his tongue and teeth. Hands freed, she gripped his head, pulling at his hair, begging him to stop, to keep going, her need so intense, just as he’d planned.

She had sensitive breasts, and he loved making a feast out of them, knowing she was out of her mind with the same desire throbbing hard and heavy in his veins.

“Alex, please.” Her hips gyrated beneath his, taking his cock along for the ride.

“Tell me what you want,” he said through clenched teeth, because holding back was costing him too.

Glazed blue eyes stared back at him. Eyes he’d seen in his dreams, that had gotten him through his nightmares. He didn’t realize how much he’d relied on the memory of her until now.

Soon she would be so much more than a memory, he thought, ready to possess her in every way possible.

SIX

M
adison’s body pulsed with yearning, and desire flooded every part of her being. Her nipples were sensitive from his sensual torment, which seemed to never end. Every lick, nip, and touch sent a shot of awareness to her core. She pulled on his silky hair, begging without words for him to fill her, and when that didn’t work, she pleaded out loud. But he held back, ignoring her throbbing sex in favor of arousing her to the point of pain.