Dare to Desire (12 page)

Although it had been a while since he’d indulged in self-pity, Rachel’s calls brought up a whole host of shit, and he felt the need for a drink and some time alone.

*     *     *

Madison arrived at work the next morning in time to head directly to the meeting. She didn’t want to go to her office and deal with Alex when she needed to be focused on the PR campaign about to be proposed. It was edgy and spot-on and, in her mind, brilliant. She hoped everyone involved would go for the concept. Especially Alex.

If she’d seen him last night, she’d have run the idea past him. If he’d called and explained his no-show at the restaurant, she’d have told him they needed to talk. Instead, after convincing her to spend the night at his place, he’d changed plans and gone MIA. Between his mood swing after the unanswered phone call and his silence afterward, she let her insecurities hold sway and decided
not
to reach out first.

She strode into the room wearing the suit she felt the most powerful and comfortable in. Did it help that the cream color accentuated her lightly tanned skin and that, even with a camisole that appropriately covered her breasts, she felt both feminine and sexy? Of course. Because she had a feeling she’d need all the armor she could get.

“Madison!”

She turned at the sound of Riley calling her name. “Hi!” She hugged her friend, then pulled back to look her over. “You look fantastic. So much better than last time I saw you.”

Riley grinned. “That’s because I’m not nauseous anymore, so I’m not green around the gills. And the cravings have started, not to mention, I’m eating for two.” She laughed. “My curves are back and then some.”

“But you’re happy and I’m so glad.”

“I really am. Are you?”

Before Madison could answer, Ian strode into the room, and the atmosphere changed from people chattering to silence. The man commanded respect, that was for sure.

Except from his wife, who rolled her eyes and pinned Madison with an intense stare. “I’m waiting for an answer.”

“I’m fine.” She gripped her folders tighter in her hand. “I should go sit,” she murmured.

Alex hadn’t arrived, and she chose a chair in the conference room next to Derek Fine, the head of the Fine PR Firm, with whom she’d had dinner last night. Riley sat beside her, obviously intending to continue her inquisition.

The room began to fill up. Alex walked in last, wearing black slacks and a white button-down shirt. Unlike Ian, he eschewed a tie, but he was every inch professional—except he looked as if he hadn’t slept, his eyes bloodshot and his mouth drawn tight. Something was wrong. She just had no idea what. And her gut told her things were about to get even dicier.

“Madison, are you ready to begin?” Ian asked from the head of the table.

She nodded. Hands folded in front of her, she spoke. “In addition to the program we intend to institute, Ian has spoken of taking this campaign nationwide. With the right angle, we can protect the players and institute more safety measures than exist so far. We can also encourage all teams in all contact sports to educate their players for the future. To further this endeavor, the Fine PR Firm has a presentation for us to consider. I’ve seen the concept, and it’s brave and edgy,” she said, not meeting Alex’s steady gaze, although she felt his focus as if it were a tangible touch.

Whatever had triggered his mood last night, she needed to be at her best right now. Her personal life would have to wait.

*     *     *

Alex watched Madison with pride as she addressed the people in the room. She was masterful, holding everyone’s attention. And he was such an ass, to have ignored her in favor of whiskey last night and a hangover this morning.

At the time, he’d thought he’d had his reasons for needing time alone. This morning, he regretted his selfish actions. He was well aware that Madison was still waiting for him to screw up in some way. And he had. Royally.

She wouldn’t look at him, not that he blamed her. And though he’d gotten here early enough to talk to her in their office, it had never dawned on him that she’d avoid him there and come straight to the conference room instead. He had to give her credit, she was impressive in anything she did, and as she primed the room for whatever was to come, he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

A cream-colored suit with a deep vee and matching camisole drew his attention to her full breasts. Though they were well covered, he knew exactly what those mounds looked like, how her nipples puckered when aroused, and the jacket molded perfectly to her curves. Her blue eyes flashed with passion as she spoke. Because he’d been the recipient of that fire firsthand, watching her now aroused his baser instincts, making him itch to haul her into their private office and grovel. On his knees, hands sliding beneath her skirt and begging her forgiveness in the one way he knew she couldn’t resist.

“And so I’d like to introduce Derek Fine,” Madison said, and applause broke out around the table, drawing Alex’s attention to more appropriate subjects. But that didn’t stop his body from pulsing with need.

The man she’d introduced rose and walked to the front of the room. One of his associates dimmed the lights, and Fine gestured to the wall on which now flashed a PowerPoint presentation. With his mouth like cotton and his head pounding, Alex knew he wasn’t paying nearly enough attention, but he’d just have to catch up later. He covered a yawn and tried harder to focus.

“The idea is to bring focus and attention to the problem, and who better than the man who is spearheading the effort? We suggest a national campaign at football stadiums, bus stops, and television spots. Like this.”

Alex stared in shock as his prone body flashed across the wall seconds after his career-ending hit. Each successive screen, in time to the sound of a camera shutter click, showed the succession of what had happened next, from coaches bending over him to paramedics arriving to the ultimate humiliation, his body on the stretcher, neck stabilizer holding his head in place as he was carried off the field for the final time. The words PROTECT, EDUCATE, and SUCCEED flashed beneath, ending with Alex in a suit and tie, the Thunder Dome superimposed behind him.

“What the fuck?” He swung his head away from the presentation to Madison, who thankfully had decided to look his way.

She stared back at him, unwavering. “It’s brilliant, Alex. Overcoming tragedy with triumph. You’d be showing all players what’s possible.”

“No way. I took this as a behind-the-scenes job. I’m not going to be the goddamned poster boy for the campaign so the rest of the league can view me as weak.”

“That’s not the plan,” Madison said patiently.

As if he were the freaking idiot they’d just showed on the screen. “I said no. It’s not happening.” He rose to his feet, the mild headache he’d nursed all morning suddenly full-blown. “I should’ve been consulted before this shit was presented,” he muttered and started for the door.

“Alex—” Ian rose to block his way.

“Step aside,” he warned his half brother.

Ian met his gaze. He must have seen something in Alex’s expression that had him moving away from the door. “This discussion isn’t over,” he said under his breath.

“The hell it isn’t.” Alex stormed out of the room and headed for his office, where he could grab his car keys and get the hell out of here.

*     *     *

Madison watched Alex storm out of the room in complete and utter shock. When she’d gauged his reaction ahead of time, she’d thought maybe he’d balk. Argue. Offer resistance until they explained why this was such a good idea. Instead, he’d marched out without discussion.

She turned back to the table and met Ian’s gaze.

“Ri? You want to talk to him?” He probably figured as Alex’s closest friend, Riley was the obvious choice to deal with him in his furious state.

Not happening, Madison thought, jumping up from her seat. “I’ll go.” If anyone was going to talk to him, it was Madison.

They had more to resolve between them than just the issue of the PR campaign … and she was feeling a bit territorial at the moment.

Riley nodded at her, a slight grin on her face.

“Can you handle Derek Fine?” she asked, ignoring her friend and approaching Ian instead.

He nodded. “I like the proposal, but I get where he’s coming from,” Ian said, surprising her.

She narrowed her gaze. “I thought he might be surprised, maybe have to be talked into it, but I didn’t anticipate such anger.” She was still shaken by his reaction.

“You didn’t see him after he was told he couldn’t play anymore,” Riley said, coming up beside them. “I mean, I know you did, but not the fallout after.” Riley touched Madison’s shoulder. “Go talk to him. He’ll listen to you.”

With a nod, Madison headed out.

She reached their office in time to catch him in the hall, car keys in hand. “We need to talk,” she said before he could speak first.

He shook his head, every muscle in his body tight. “Not now. I need to cool off first.”

Now she was the one who was annoyed. “I thought you did that last night.” She pinned him with an angry stare of her own.

She remembered the last time he’d been hurting and angry. He’d thrown her out of his room and his life, and she’d let him. This time, she would be proactive, and she intended to have her say.

“Fine.” He turned toward their office and strode inside. He walked to the small window and looked out before turning toward her. “I was an ass last night, and I’m sorry.”

She’d been ready for a fight. Instead she’d received an apology? “What?”

“You heard me.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I was planning to talk to you this morning, but you weren’t here. Then I was blindsided by the proposal—”

“You wouldn’t have been if I’d either seen you last night as planned or if you’d called to tell me you needed a night alone.” She folded her arms across her chest, self-protection at its finest, she thought.

“I realize that
now
. At the time, I needed time alone.”

Hurt flooded every inch of her being. “Well, it’s not like I was the one who practically seduced you into agreeing to spend the night together. That was all you.” It was important to her that he knew she didn’t need him. That he’d been the one pushing for more time together. She’d never be the woman who wanted too much from him. Or from anyone.

“I know.”

“Well, it would have been nice if you’d informed me that you’d changed your mind. Or that you needed space.” She hated the hurt in her voice, the power any show of emotion gave him over her, but she couldn’t control her feelings from escaping.

“I didn’t need space from you, Angel.”

“Right. That’s why you didn’t call.” She shook her head. “I was there, remember? You got a phone call, your mood changed, and suddenly the sexy, teasing Alex was replaced by some ice-cold version who just walked out. You didn’t think I’d notice the change? Or that you ignored our plans?”

He blew out a frustrated breath. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He ran a hand through his hair, clearly debating with himself in the silence that followed. “The phone call was from an ex I haven’t seen or heard from since college.”

She looked up at him in shock.

There was an ex who sent him reeling. That could only mean one thing. “She means something to you,” Madison said, hearing her voice as if from a distance.

He inclined his head. “I thought she did once. It was a long time ago. I haven’t spoken to her since college.”

“This is the first time I’m hearing about her.”

He swallowed hard. “We were together almost four years and I thought we’d be together through whatever happened with my career and hers.” He didn’t look at Madison as he spoke. “It turned out she was never comfortable with the idea of living my kind of life, the drafts and the potential trades to different cities. She wanted more, and she broke up with me after graduation.”

Madison lowered herself into the nearest chair, unable to fully comprehend what he was telling her. The takeaway, however, was clear. He’d been in a serious relationship once. Had planned on spending his life with one woman. And he’d been so devastated when it ended he’d steered clear of serious relationships ever since.

“What does she want?” Madison asked.

“She left messages, all vague. She just said she wants to talk to me. She didn’t say about what.”

Madison nodded. “I see.” And she did. A call from this woman was enough to have him pulling away from
her
.

“I don’t think you do.” He stalked over to her, bracing his hands on the arms of her chair.

He was too close, smelled too good, made her want too much.

“Hearing from Rachel brought me back to a bad place.”

She swallowed hard. “I got that much.”

“Not for the reasons you think. I’m not pining over some lost love. Hearing from her reminds me that I wasn’t good enough for her. Just like I wasn’t good enough for Ian to want anything to do with me. Just like I’m no longer good enough to play ball.” He swallowed, his strong throat working up and down. “I indulged in self-pity last night, and I hurt you in the process. I screwed up and I regret it.”

Her hand rose of its own volition. She cupped his clean-shaven jaw in her palm and studied his sincere expression. She’d heard his words, understood he’d just bared his soul, and her heart softened despite her fear. And she was afraid. Every time she rebuilt her walls, when he chipped away at them, he took them down even farther. The fall would be that much harder when and if it came. But this ego-driven man had apologized to her twice, and she couldn’t deny that showed change.

“I’m human, Angel.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh, his face inches from hers.

“Yeah. I get that. And so am I.” Which meant she could be hurt. So easily if he did a sudden one-eighty on her again.

“Am I forgiven?” he asked, his lips so close his breath feathered over her mouth.

“Yeah,” she murmured, powerless against
this
Alex.

“Thank you.” He leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers.

She sighed and soaked up the seductive slide of his lips, the touch of their noses, the moment all the more intimate for the sweetness inherent in the kiss.