Dare to Desire (19 page)

She ran five steps ahead of him to the car, and he let her go. He knew better than to think words could convince her he really had changed for good. Like everything else with Madison, it would take time. And infinite patience.

Unless he didn’t take the job. He could stick with the Thunder and the work he was doing there and give up on the idea of television and broadcasting altogether. And be the pitiful face of how to walk away from a career gracefully? he thought with more than a little disgust.

He loved the work they were doing with the organization, and if he could manage to do both things, he’d stay on here. But he was honest enough to admit that the thought of returning to football in some sort of public capacity appealed to him. He couldn’t give that up, even for Madison. He had to believe that wasn’t what she’d want him to do either.

He knew he was a different man now, and no amount of time in front of the camera would change that. It was her turn to change, he thought, with no small amount of frustration.

But he didn’t know if she could alter a lifetime of ingrained negative expectations. And he didn’t know where that would leave them if she couldn’t.

TEN

A
lex arrived at the rooftop bar where Riley had suggested they meet to talk. He was surprised she’d pick a bar, given her pregnant state, but it worked for him. The fact that she’d still come when he called meant a lot to him. There was no one else he could talk to about his problems with Madison besides the one woman who knew her almost as well as he did.

He ordered a Patron Reposado, in the mood for something other than scotch tonight, and though he’d assumed Riley would drink an iced tea, he figured he’d wait till she chose herself. Her pregnancy hormones had her eating all sorts of weird shit.

Someone slid into the seat beside him. Not Riley. He glanced at the man and swore. “Really? You?”

Ian shrugged and grinned. “I feel the same way. But my wife can’t be in two places at once. Believe it or not, she thought I could handle you better than I could Madison.”

He wasn’t surprised Madison had called Riley too. “Okay then. A Glenlivet for my … brother,” Alex said to the bartender.

He glanced at Ian, daring him to argue or throw in the word
half,
but he didn’t. “I get why you walked out on Riley after she landed herself in the hospital,” Alex admitted as the guy behind the bar slid a tumbler toward Ian.

His brother took a long sip. “Can’t say it was one of my finer moments. Looking back, I don’t think it was the right way to handle things.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “What would’ve worked better?” They both knew Riley had been as stubborn in her own beliefs as Madison now was in hers.

“I should have cuffed her to the bed until she saw reason.” Ian lifted his glass. “A little dominance once in a while doesn’t hurt.”

Alex shook his head and grinned. “Probably more than I want to know about your relationship, but I get your point.” He swallowed a gulp, closing his eyes at the soothing burn. “I threatened to take her over my knee,” he muttered.

Ian shrugged. “So do it.”

The other man clearly wasn’t kidding. Alex was definitely considering it. That was a boundary they hadn’t crossed, not that he wasn’t tempted. Not to cause her pain but to give her pleasure.

He cleared his throat. “I need to run something else by you,” he said, figuring it was the right thing to do.

“Go on.”

He went on to outline Rachel’s offer, the lack of details, and the potential conflict with his current job.

“And that explains why Madison called Riley in a panic. She thinks you’re going to end up moving to what? East Coast? West?”

Alex shrugged. “Even if I lived here full time, she’s got other issues that need to be worked out. As for east or west…”

He shrugged. “Testing in New York this week. I’ll find out more then. I don’t think the move is something she’s even considering as the problem. I’d assume it’s a part-time gig anyway. Just during the season. At the very least, I could commute. Hell, if it meant full time, I don’t think I’d take it. Believe it or not, I like being nearby the family.”

“I suppose they all can grow on you,” Ian conceded.

Alex shook his head at his brother’s attitude. This was Ian softening, he thought wryly, and spun his drink between his palms. “Look, I don’t want you to think I’m taking my current job lightly. I wouldn’t bail on you or leave you and Madison in a lurch.”

“I know that,” Ian said, surprising Alex.

“You do?”

Ian leveled him with a long stare that reminded Alex of their father at his sternest. “Do you really think I hired you just because Riley begged me to?” The edge of his mouth curled up in a smirk.

“That’s a trick question. On the one hand, yeah. She’s got you wrapped.” He raised his middle finger and wiggled it around.

“Nice,” Ian muttered.

“On the other hand, no. You’re a shrewd businessman. You do what you think is best for the company.”

Ian lifted his drink in agreement.

“However, you do like to keep your woman happy.”

“I hired you because I knew your work ethic from watching you with the Breakers. I know if you leave, you’ll make sure things here are smooth first.”

“So you wouldn’t hold it against me?” He leaned against the polished wood counter.

Ian shook his head. “I wouldn’t begrudge you an opportunity. I’m not that big of an ass. But I did want to discuss the PR campaign you shot down so quickly.”

Alex’s cheeks burned at the mention of the embarrassing photograph and billboard. “Tell me you’d let them plaster you all over at your lowest, weakest point?”

Ian drummed his fingers on the counter. “I think I’d look at it from a different angle. Or maybe I’d need someone to tell me to do it.”

Alex gestured for another drink. “I’m listening.”

“You’re a known name. People liked watching you play. They recognize your talent.”

Alex stared, having a hard time reconciling the man shooting him compliments with the one who couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge him a short while ago.

“Anyone with half a brain knows it took guts to walk away before you became a vegetable or paraplegic from another hit to the head or the wrong vertebra.”

A wave of nausea overtook him with the blunt description of the choice he’d faced.

“My point is,” Ian went on, unaware, “parents and kids look up to you.”

Alex’s mind immediately went to Jake in the wheelchair.

“I believe you can change lives by allowing people to see you then and now. So what if you were knocked down? You got back up, right?” Ian shrugged and slugged down the end of his drink.

“I get it but—”

“I heard how you charmed the kid in the hotel,” Ian said. “Madison told Riley you called your publicist and had them send you a picture and a jersey with your number on it so you could personally sign and send them to a teenager in a wheelchair.”

Alex swallowed hard and looked away. He didn’t do those things for acknowledgment.

“Imagine the good you can do for other players and injured kids whose coaches are pressuring them to play or to sign pro before they graduate college. You’re a role model, if you want to be.” Ian slammed his glass on the table. “By the way, nobody said it’s full time or nothing on our end. Let me know if you want to take the TV gig, and we can make this work too.”

“I don’t know what to say.” This wasn’t the Ian Dare that Alex hadn’t gotten to know for all those years. This was a different man. One who was treating him with respect. Almost like a family member.

Ian rose. He slid his hand into his pocket, but Alex shook his head.

“That’s twice. Next one’s on me then,” Ian insisted.

“Quit counting.”

“If we’re through here, I am going to get home to my wife.”

“You’re assuming Madison’s finished with her.”

“I’m picking Riley up on my way home.” Ian grinned. “She’s finished when I say she is.”

Alex rose to his feet. He’d already given his credit card, so their tab was settled. “I’m going to head to my place. I think Madison and I could use some space from each other. She needs to get her head on straight and decide what she wants. This push-pull is killing me,” he muttered.

“She can’t help it. And until she can, you need to decide if you can stick it out with her, because I can tell you that if you bail this time, you’re not going to get another shot.”

His gut cramped at the thought. “Yeah. I’m not going anywhere. Just giving her a night to think. Tomorrow’s the hearing about her foster mother’s care and holdings. I’ll be there.”

Ian nodded. “We all do what we have to do. Riley came around,” he said, his expression suddenly showing the pain he’d been through during that time. Just as quickly, he regained his usual stoic composure. “Keep me posted on things.”

“Will do.”

“And if you want to run things by someone…” He left the rest unsaid, but Alex heard the unspoken offer.

“I just might do that,” he said, grateful he’d been given a shot at something more than working for his half brother.

Now if Madison would just give him the same opening, maybe he could prove himself worthy of her trust as well.

*     *     *

Madison hadn’t slept well, not that she’d expected to. She’d grown accustomed to Alex and his big body huddled around hers. Whether in her queen-sized bed or his king, they slept wrapped together. Yet she understood his need for a night apart. In truth, she’d needed it too. But last night, alone in her empty bed, she’d tossed and turned. Unfortunately, she couldn’t resolve anything in her mind, not when so much in Alex’s life was open-ended and uncertain. As far as she was concerned, right now it wasn’t about trust, it was about facts and seeing how things played out for him. And where.

The trust thing she would have to come to terms with later.

This morning, she needed to focus on the hearing ahead of her. Alex called and insisted he’d pick her up. Not wanting to face this alone and grateful for his support, she agreed to wait for him to get her.

He rang the bell before she could grab her purse and meet him at the car, pulling her in for a kiss before either of them could speak. It didn’t matter where they differed, right now they were a united front, and for that she was grateful.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked as they walked toward the courtroom.

She nodded. “I have nothing to hide.”

He held open the heavy wooden door to the courtroom, and she stepped inside. He clasped her hand on the walk down the aisle. Eric and his attorney hadn’t yet arrived, but Jonathan waited for her at the table. Alex took a seat directly behind her.

He squeezed her shoulder just as Eric and his attorney walked in. She had to give it to her foster brother, he cleaned up well, wearing a gray pinstriped suit and red tie. He might have passed for a banker, the way he’d slicked his hair back and held himself with an air of authority and confidence. But it was the Visine bottle he pulled out of his jacket pocket so he could add drops to his eyes that gave him away, at least in Madison’s mind.

“Remember,” Jonathan said, redirecting her attention. “When you’re up there, you answer only if his attorney asks you a direct question. Inflammatory upsetting statements? Ignore them,” he instructed her in a lawyerly voice, but his eyes held a glint of empathy. He’d seen her history. They both knew today wouldn’t be pretty.

The only good thing was that Alex hadn’t been with her when she and Jonathan had gone over testimony. Jonathan had wanted her alone and able to concentrate on his instructions, and she’d been grateful. A part of her wished Alex wasn’t here today, but there was no stopping him, and she hadn’t bothered to try.

She glanced toward the other table, where Eric and his attorney sat conferring the same way Madison and Jonathan just had. Eric glanced up, met her gaze, and shot her a direct glare mere seconds before the judge and his court clerk and deputy walked into the room. The next minutes passed in a blur of formalities handled by the lawyers.

Of course it was up to her foster brother to prove his case, which meant he paraded witnesses attesting to his close relationship with his mother, his stellar character—before he began an attempt to assassinate hers.

People Madison hadn’t seen in years came before the judge. Her first foster mother claimed she’d stolen personal things from the house and she’d had to send Madison back. More like she’d pawned the items in an attempt to pay for the alcohol addiction she hid from her husband and the state. Even at twelve years old, Madison had been familiar with the signs. From there, her case worker from years ago, aged and gray now, took the stand, elaborating reasons Madison hadn’t lasted at each foster home.

Nausea filled her at the unfairness of it all. The truth was, as Jon did his best to counter, the woman couldn’t possibly remember Madison with all the other kids in and out of the system over the years. She was relying on a folder of printed information that included none of the underlying circumstances or Madison’s truths.

As a social worker herself, she understood how little time most put into keeping up-to-date records. She’d struggled day and night to keep up with the caseload when she’d worked with abused women, and paperwork was done in between visits with victims. More than once, Jonathan rose and objected to the other lawyer’s insinuations or attempts to discredit Madison, questioning the reasons for the character assassination. He offered an excuse of laying groundwork, and the judge agreed to humor him a little while longer.