Dauntless (The LockDown Series Book 2) (4 page)

I fall asleep at around one in the morning, after bottle-feeding Melissa. I wasn’t going to continue breast-feeding anymore, I was too intoxicated with the pills and now alcohol.

I flick through every imaginable thing that could have caused this to happen, for Leighton to disappear and not want to come home. I fight the tears all night long, but as my fatigue catches up with me I let them flow, too tired to be strong anymore. I just want him, my Leighton, at home with me.

Ant is on his way, thank God. We need to sort out the lump of shit lying on his office floor ASAP. I don’t need nor want someone walking in on it.

I am seated inside my Bentley, all kinds of emotions searing through me, emotions I really don’t know how to deal with, or want to deal with. No matter how much I hate Abigail at this precise second, I love her all the same. I love her with such rawness and passion that my heart literally burns for her. I want to see her so badly it stings.

I can still feel Kalina’s mouth on me, and I feel pissed off that I feel guilty about what has just happened. I shouldn’t be, but I am. I just wish I’d never looked at that footage in the first place, I wish it was still some nasty old secret she kept from me, at least that way I might get through the next hours, days, weeks and months of my life without this empty, hollow feeling inside of me. I was no longer a man, just an empty shell, longing and pleading for my soul to return and for my Abigail still to be the beautiful woman I am in love with.

I feel so angry with her for betraying me this way. It is one thing for me to let her fuck my best friend. With me there to keep an eye on the whole thing, hell even the idea of watching her with Ant has me hard enough to bang nails, but it is an entirely different thing to go behind my back and screw the one man I have been hunting for the last year.

I am sick and tired of feeling this way. One minute I want to forgive her, to go home and hold her and cuddle my beautiful girl, next minute I never want to see her again, wishing I’d left her where I found her.

I punch repeatedly at my steering wheel, trying to grasp some semblance of relief to the internal struggle I am battling with right now. I need Ant here, and soon. I had told him where I was, but not what had happened, that will come later. He doesn’t need to know why I had shot and killed the prick, he would be here all the same to clear up my mess and make sure no trace is left behind.

I lay my head on my clenched fists upon the wheel, trying not to let the tears fall. I want to pretend I’m not affected by her betrayal, that I can carry on and hold the weight of the world on my shoulders still, but it is too god damn hard to do. All I want to do is drown my sorrows in a bottle of whiskey and cry my fucking eyes out.

The car park glows behind me and I see two headlights coming towards my car through the rear-view mirror. I take a few shaky breaths to try to get some sense of control. Within a few seconds of the huge Range Rover parking next to me, my door is opened and my best friend is in my view.

“Mate, what the hell has happened?” Antonio’s warm voice filters through me, bringing a peace from within me I know he can always pull to the surface.

“I killed the cunt, finally.” I shrug my shoulders, not even bothered that Phillip is out of the picture.

“Who, Leigh? But more importantly, why would you go in without backup, without me?” Ant is now out of his wheelchair now, walking again. His muscular frame is nearly back to its gargantuan size. I am grateful I have him back to be honest. Sure, the other guys are there for me, they would do anything for me, but Ant is my muscle for a reason.

“Philip. I finished him. The slimy, fucking prick had his hands on my fiancée! If he thought I wouldn’t find out, he was sorely mistaken.” I laugh, a little manically, but I am happy about what has happened.

Ant looks at me confused. Not because I have killed a man, that is something he has seen one more than one occasion. No, he is confused because of the whole ‘hands on my fiancée part.’

“Oh yeah, she went there. She went there and let that cunt touch her, touch what is mine! Better yet, and this is the interesting part... he cut her, he put a fucking knife to her stomach, the stomach that my baby was inside of!” I cannot help the rage building again. I climb from my car, slamming the door behind me. I start to pace, my fists clenched as I recall the video footage I had seen yesterday.

“Fuck.” Ant answers. I am sure it is the only word, which he can conjure up right now.

“Oh yeah, they did that for sure.” I turn away, heading towards the building, needing to clean this shit up before building up the front to go home and face the worse mistake I have ever made.

My adrenaline drop makes it near impossible for me to enjoy the copper tang in the air, the smell of that bastard’s departure from this world, but I do enjoy it. Somewhere deep inside of my head, I acknowledge this is a victory; this right here is what I have been waiting for.

I now have to fight with myself whether or not I am capable of forgiving the one woman I have ever loved.

It takes us less than an hour to clean up the scene and have the body wrapped and ready in the car. We have gotten rid of every trace of blood; there isn’t a drop to be found, even by black light.

Kalina has been very helpful, tidying the office areas. Making it look as though Phillip has just gone home for the evening. She locks the doors on the way out behind us and drives home.

I am now sitting in the local pub, Antonio by my side and a row of empty tumblers, which had once contained scotch, lay in front of me. My body is feeling the effects badly, I am dizzy, feeling sick and fucking shattered.

“So, she actually let that fuck touch her? They actually fucked?” Ant asks me in response to me telling him what Abbi had done. I cringe, hearing him reiterate that my woman had another man inside of her.

“Yes, really, Ant, I saw them on CCTV doing it, it was pretty clear. I just don’t know what to fucking do.” I down the last of the liquor in my current glass and vow to stop drinking now.

“I can’t tell you that one mate, but knowing Abbi, there has to be a reason behind all of this, there is no way she would risk what you two have for a quick fuck with someone, who isn’t as good as you.” Of course, Ant would know.

“I just can’t even think about looking at her right now, I feel so violent about the whole thing. I don’t want to hurt her mate. I just need some time to think, that’s all.” I toy with the tumbler in my grasp, rolling it around in my hands.

“I know you’d never hurt her, Leigh, and I think you know that too. You love her too much. I think you need to go home and talk to her. Find out what the hell is going on here.” All I really wanted was my little girl, the spitting image of me, cuddled tightly in my arms as she slept. It would remind me that there is still some beauty and innocence in this world.

“Yeah, I know I do. I just need a few more minutes to collect myself.” I can do it, I know I can. All I have to do is go home and ask her outright why she fucked him. It is an easy question, but with an answer, I could possibly regret.

“Come on, Leighton, fight for this. That girl is fucking scared to death at home waiting for you. She loves you, man. I know she does. Let me drive you home.” Antonio had me drop my car at his on the way.

“Okay, let’s go.” I down the water that has been set on the table for me. I stand and shove my jacket onto my body. “Let me just use the bathroom quickly.”

I walk the quick corridor to the men’s room, praying it is empty. I am in luck as I push open the door and walk in. I’m not in here to take a leak; no, I need help from my friend Charlie. He has never once let me down, always calms my sky rocketed nerves.

Abbi has her tranquilizers, I have my coke.

I enter the only cubicle, lowering the toilet seat. I prepare
two lines on the lid, parallel to one another. God they look so good right now. This is good shit, the expensive stuff. None of the crap that teenagers think is cocaine; this is the real, pure stuff.

I roll up a twenty-pound note and snort the lines in quick succession, feeling the effects almost immediately in my system. I wallow in the feeling, god how I rely on those two perfect lines every day after I do my job, before I come home to my
fiancée
.

I swipe the last few speckles of dust and rub it into my gums, smiling as the numb feeling takes over me.

I leave the bathroom feeling a sense of ease and contentment. I’m ready to face the world, but more importantly, Abbi.

Antonio woke me up ten minutes ago, to say he is on his way here with Leighton. It is gone three in the morning and I am so bloody tired I don’t know how to cope.

I tie my silk gown around myself, check on my snoozing daughter and then go downstairs to put the kettle on. I am in desperate need of a cup of tea to face whatever the hell has gone on.

I have only one idea of what would make Leighton behave this way and that is he knows about what happened between Phillip and me. How he does, I have no clue. Knowing Phillip he probably told Leighton himself, being the fucking slimy arsehole he is. If this is what is wrong with my fiancé, I don’t know how I am going to get myself out of this problem.

I’m seated at the kitchen counter with a mug of tea in my hands, when Leighton walks in with Ant. He ignores me completely, walking to the fridge to grab a bottle of water to drink. He downs the contents then finally looks at me, his eyes bloodshot and red. “I’m going to see
my
daughter,” he states with no emotion whatsoever, then turns and leaves the room. I can feel the tension already, my eyes are fighting their hardest not to spill over and cry.

I know he knows, it is clear in the disgust ridden gaze of his eyes, the pain evident and ripping him apart.

I feel Antonio’s arms around me in an instant. He comforts me, holding me tightly to him.

“He knows, sweetheart, he knows. Just tell him the truth; I’m sure it will all be okay. Just ring me if you need me, yeah?” I nod into his hold, thankful for all the support he has ever given me. Even after knowing I’d fucked the man that nearly killed him, he is still here for me, wiping away my guilty tears.

“Oh God, Ant, I’ve hurt him so bad. I don’t want to look at him and see the hate he holds for me, on his face.” I snuffle as a few tears let loose down my cheeks.

“You have to talk to him, darling; Leighton is a very forgiving and understanding man. You two are strong; I know you’ll be okay. If you need anything you call me or Debbie and I’ll come to you, okay?” He turns me to face him, wiping the few tears away and kissing my forehead. “I’ll speak to you soon, Abigail, just stay strong. Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Ant turns and leaves the kitchen. A few minutes later I hear the main door closing.

I sit on the stool in the kitchen, twiddling nervously with my thumbs, my anxiety once again building. I desperately want to reach into the cupboard and pop a few of my pills, but I fight the urge, needing a clear head and mind to get through the impending argument we are bound to have very soon.

After twenty minutes of sitting in silence, I hear his approaching footsteps on the marble tiles.