Deathless & Divided (The Chicago War #1) (33 page)

“I just …”

“What?” Damian asked, cupping her jaw in his palm. “Tell me what you need, Lily.”

“I can’t understand.”

“Not yet.”

“Ever,” Lily said.

“Eventually.”

Lily sighed. “I hate this life—the mafia life. This is why. People fight and die for nothing; for a belief and rules … and
nothing
.”

“I know.”

He’d always known that.

“And I hate the things you’ve done,” she murmured.

“You’re allowed to.”

“I can’t accept it.”

“You don’t have to,” Damian replied quietly.

“But I love you.”

Damian nodded. “Yeah.”

“It is going to take a while for me to be okay. I need you to understand that.”

“I get it.”

Lily wet her lips. “So no matter what you say, I have to believe you’re a good man who does bad things because otherwise, you’re just a man who hurts the things you love for no other reason than you can.”

“I love you,” he said.

“I know.”

“That’s the hardest part for you, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Lily replied. “It really is.”

Damian leaned down just far enough that he could sweep his lips over Lily’s. He hated her tears; despised that he’d been the one to cause her any pain. The best way he could think to apologize, if his words weren’t doing the job, was to show her. Instead of kissing her hard and deep, demanding she pay attention to his distraction and let it do the job for him, he took his time loving her mouth with his until she slowly began to kiss him back.

“You are, Lily,” he said, stroking her cheek as he brushed his lips over hers again.

“Hmm, what?” she asked, breathless.

“Everything to me.”

Another sliver of a tear fell from the corner of her eye. Damian wiped it away with the pad of his thumb just as quickly.

“I wish that didn’t hurt you to hear,” he said.

Lily shook her head. “It doesn’t.”

“It’s true.”

“Damian?”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Stop talking and kiss me again.”

Damian cocked a brow. “Don’t you want to—”

“I want you to shut up and kiss me again. And not like I’m some fucking China doll ready to break into pieces at any moment. Just kiss me. Please.”

How could he deny her when she asked so nicely?

Damian fisted Lily’s flimsy sleep shirt and pulled her up from the ground. The thin fabric covering her chest ripped at the force, tearing from the neck line straight down to where he held it tight. Lily gasped a second before Damian’s lips crashed down on hers with a bruising force. Her tongue fought with his, her teeth scraping to his mouth as her breaths turned ragged and harsh.

Lily grabbed his shirt in her tiny hands and moaned, spreading her legs wider. Damian couldn’t help himself; he grinded his growing erection into her core, knowing there was nothing but his jeans and soft cotton shorts separating his dick from her pussy. A pressure built in Damian’s chest the longer he kissed his girl. Nothing would ever be as honest or true as how he felt when Lily kissed him.

“Fuck,” Damian ground out when Lily’s teeth bit into his jaw. She kissed the spot with the softest touch of her lips before her tongue struck out against his skin to taste. Heat and blood flooded his cock. “Lily—”

“Shut up,” she hissed, biting him again.

Sweet Christ.

Damian hadn’t even blinked again and he felt her hands working at the zipper and button on his jeans.

“Lily, wait,” Damian demanded.

“No, fuck me,” she said forcefully, her fist hitting his chest. “Shut up and fuck me.”

“
God
.”

Lily laughed, the sound airless but thick. “You always know how to get me saying that in the end.”

Shit.

Damian cussed loudly as Lily’s hand circled his dick under his jeans. She stroked him once, twice, and then released him just as fast. Clearly, she wasn’t going to give him a chance to argue with her further. Lily knew what she wanted.

Him.

Damian let her shove his jeans and boxer-briefs down around his hips. When she pulled his shirt up, exposing his back and chest to the cold, early morning air, he let her do that, too. His shirt hit the grass as he began grinding his bare, throbbing dick into her cotton shorts.

Lily groaned lowly, falling back to the grass and digging her hands into the ground as Damian began yanking down her shorts. He kicked his jeans down further at the same time he pulled her shorts off her legs. Lily was nothing but bare skin, sex, and pussy under her shorts. Her juices were already glistening over her pink folds, showing just how hot she really was for him.

Damian fucking loved it.

He cupped her sex in his palm and ran two fingers through her slit.

“Just like I fucking thought,” Damian muttered.

Lily sighed as his fingers pressed into her pussy. “Hmm?”

“Hot, wet, and wanting me, sweetheart.”

Damian smeared Lily’s arousal over her folds and up to her clit. He circled the little nub, feeling her shake from the attention. He kept teasing her with his touches until she rocked her hips into his hand and begged for more.

“Please, please, please,” Lily whimpered. “Fuck me.”

Damian smirked, chuckles building in his chest. “I don’t know how to tell you no, Lily.”

Wrapping his fist in her ripped shirt again, Damian pulled her up from the ground until she was nose to nose with him and her eyes were locked with his. Lily’s pupils dilated wide, her breath catching hard in her chest.

“I love you,” he said softly.

Lily kissed his mouth gently. “I love you.”

Keeping his hold on Lily with one hand, Damian used his other to guide his cock to her sex. He rolled the head of his member through the fleshly lips of her pussy, letting her juices cover the tip of his dick. He let his cock go, letting it rest along the seam of her sex so he could grind his hardness into her soft, wet warmth.

Lily grabbed Damian’s wrist, bringing his fingers to her lips. His digits were still wet with her come. She sucked his fingers into her mouth without a word. Damian couldn’t hold back the growl forming at the sight of her lips encompassing his digits while her teeth scraped along his skin. He reveled in the feeling of her tongue sweeping at his fingers, cleaning them of her fluids.

“You taste like sin,” Damian told her, knowing it was true.

Sin. Sugar. Heaven.

Bliss.

She always tasted like bliss, too.

Lily released his fingers from the confines of her hot little mouth but not before kissing the tips of the digits. Damian rubbed his fingers along her pink lips as he rocked his body into hers one more time. As his cock came down to the entrance of her pussy, he pushed in with a slowness he knew would let her feel every fucking inch of his dick filling her.

“Oh, God,” Lily gasped.

He wanted her full, aching, and needing.

Only for him.

Lily’s head fell back, exposing the creamy expanse of her neck and collarbones as Damian’s cock seated fully inside her clenching walls. He took that moment just to feel her bare, soaking him, and taking all of him.

“Don’t you feel that?” Damian asked. “How you fit me,
bella
? How I fill you?”

Lily’s tongue peeked out to sweep over her lips. “Yes.”

“More?”

“More,” she echoed.

Damian pulled out from her sex just as slowly as he’d entered her. When he could feel the head of his dick at the entrance of her pussy, it took all his willpower not to slam right back inside her and fuck her until she was screaming his name and begging for every bit that he could give her.

“I adore you,” Damian murmured.

“
Mmm
.”

“I love fucking you.”

Lily moaned. “Jesus.”

“You’re my perfect fit, Lily.”

A shudder wracked over her body, vibrating them both. Damian’s own shiver worked its way over his spine as he held Lily in place, keeping her from rocking further into his dick. Fuck, he wanted her so badly.

“So beautiful,” he told her.

“Yours.”

He touched her lips again, feeling her tongue strike out against the pad of his fingers.

“Yours,” she said with a tenderness he hadn’t expected.

Damian thrust inside her again before retreating much slower than he entered her. Lily whined under him, her fingernails digging deep into his chest and ass. “Look at me, sweetheart.”

Lily’s lashes fluttered as she sighed in her bliss. The tight, hot walls of her pussy clamped around him as he pushed in faster, deeper.

“Lily, look at me,” Damian ordered. “Right now.”

Lily met his stare, her lips falling open with a quiet cry. “Damian …”

“Nothing else matters.”

Lily rocked into his cock on the cold grass, holding him tighter. His hand, still fisted into her ruined shirt, shook from the emotions rolling through his body and threatening to take him under. Her hand let go of his ass to weave into his hair. The slight bite of pain ricocheted through his body along with the bliss singing in his blood as she yanked on the strands and arched off the ground.

“There … right fucking
there
,” Lily said, her voice barely above a breath. “Oh, my
God
, Damian.”

“Say it,” Damian said.

Lily wet her lips under her tongue, murmuring, “Nothing else matters.”

“Just this.”

Another thrust drove his words home. Her sweet fluids gushed around his cock as he withdrew and slammed right back in, moving them both across the wet grass. Damian yanked on her shirt, ripping it more as he pulled her closer to him. Close enough that he could bite her bottom lip and taste the heat of her blood on his tongue. Lily met every plunge of his hips with her own rocking, tugging harder on his hair the more he kissed and nipped at her mouth and jaw.

Lily’s cries turned louder, like the sweetest music to his ears. “So close.”

“Just us,” Damian said through his clenched teeth.

Lily blew out a shaky breath. “Just us.”

He could feel every inch of her walls flexing around his shaft as he fucked her. Damian’s hand dug into the soft ground, needing something stable. Lily’s legs tightened around his hips, her heels digging into his lower back and pushing him into her with every thrust.

“Fuck,” Lily said, whispering the word. “Damian.”

She came undone around him shaking, mumbling his name, with a tear streaking down the side of her cheek as her nails scratched a set of lines across his chest. Damian wasn’t far behind. He finally let go of the hold he had on her shirt and grabbed tightly to her hips. Holding her still to his body so his cock was as deep as he could fucking manage to get it, Damian released into her sex in thick, ropey streams.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Damian chanted, falling forward.

Lily wrapped her arms around his torso and didn’t let go. With his face buried into Lily’s neck and the feeling of their sex still lingering around his senses, Damian was content. Far more than he had ever been. Peace—that was what this beautiful, strong woman was to him. She brought a sense of completion into his heart, filled his body with fire, and he loved it. He needed it.

“Openness,” Lily said softly.

Damian kissed her neck, the waves of pleasure still keeping his cock semi-hard inside of her sex. Nothing had ever felt quite so sublime clenching around his dick. “Hmm?”

“You need to be open with me. Everyday. No matter what. Whenever I ask. No omitting.”

“I can do that.”

“I don’t forgive you,” she said.

“This isn’t about that.”

Lily nodded. “Yeah, I know that, too.”

Damian leaned up enough to capture Lily’s lips with his own. He kissed her hard and let his tongue war with hers as she sighed into the kiss. Weaving his fingers into her hair, Damian kissed a path over her jaw, down her dirty neck, and over her collarbones.

“Tell me you love me,” he said against her skin.

“I love you.”

“Need me.”

“So much,” Lily breathed, writhing under his wandering hands and desire.

“Marry me.”

Lily stilled.

Damian didn’t relent. “Marry me, Lily. Marry me because you love me; because you don’t have to like everything I do or even understand the reasons why I do it. Marry me because you want to; because you want to walk down the aisle and see me waiting there to meet you. Marry me because you need that like I need it, too. Marry me.”

“I—”

Damian met her gaze, quieting her instantly. “It’s a yes or no question.”

“I don’t have a choice,” Lily said.

“I’m giving you one.”

“You can’t do that. Dino—”

“Stop,” Damian interjected firmly. “I am giving you one, Lily DeLuca. I am giving you what he didn’t. You can say no and I will refuse to follow through with Dino’s arrangement, regardless of what might happen. That doesn’t matter. It will never matter. What does matter at this moment is a yes or a no. That’s all.”

Tears slipped from the corners of Lily’s eyes. For once, Damian didn’t try to wipe away the proof of her emotions that usually hurt him so badly.

“Yes or no,” he said again.

Lily blinked. “You’ll always love me.”

It wasn’t even a question.

“Yes.”

“Forever,” she said.

“Yes.”

“You shouldn’t propose during sex, Damian.”

His laughter rocked them both. “It’s after, technically.”

“No, you’re hard again. Every part of me can feel it.”

Damian was. “Point taken. But you’re deflecting.”

“No, I’m not,” Lily said, never breaking his gaze. “Be there to meet me at the end.”

“Always.”

“Then yes.”

A grin split Damian’s lips. “Yes?”

“Yes,” Lily echoed. “But I’m still so angry with you.”

“That’s okay,” he said.

A familiar rumbling woke Damian from the daze he was in. Lily barely reacted at all to the sound, or she didn’t hear it like he had. He scrambled off the wet grass, pulling a confused Lily up with him. He fixed his pants and pulled his wet T-shirt over his head. Damian helped Lily back into the shorts he’d pulled off earlier. Quickly, he grabbed her flats she’d kicked off and held them out for her to slip her feet back into. Her shirt was ruined, but at least it wasn’t falling off her.