Defensive Heart: The Donnolleys, Book 2 (24 page)

Chapter Thirty-Six

Jimmy left Sonja’s apartment and walked several blocks, trying to clear his head, before finally taking the subway the rest of the way home. He was torn between being pissed off because she reacted the way she did, and knowing deep down inside she was right. Unlocking his front door, he entered his loft and closed himself in.

He
was
out of line and
had
overstepped her boundaries. Casey wasn’t his daughter. And though he cared about the kid a whole hell of a lot, it still wasn’t his place. But dammit, he did what he thought was right…not that he’d thought about it much at all; he just acted.

He’d do anything for Sonja’s daughter. Jimmy was only trying to help—not that it mattered. Scrubbing his palm over his stubbled jaw, he blew out a harsh breath. Hell, he’d do anything for Sonja too, but that didn’t seem to matter either.

Setting the coffee pot to brew, he palmed his phone and shot Andy a text, asking her to come by. He needed to talk about it, or not talk about it. He wasn’t sure which; Jimmy just knew he was worried a fuckton about Casey, and he didn’t want to be alone. Twenty minutes later, Andy was banging at his door. Dragging himself off the couch, he let her in.

“What’s up?” She strolled past him, giving him a peck on the cheek. “You look like shit, by the way.”

“Nice to see you too, sweetpea.” He swung the door closed. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

Pouring her a cup, he slid it her way and then refilled his own. “So, what’s up?”

Andy laughed and rolled her eyes. “Dunno, playboy. You tell me.” She sipped her coffee.

“Damn, is it that obvious?”

“Jimmy, I’m your best friend. You’re as transparent as a windowpane. What happened?”

“You know I love you, right?” He pulled her into a hug.

She patted his back. “Yup. And I love you too.
What happened
?”

“I don’t know if I want to talk about it yet. Can we watch some reruns of some mindless show first?”

She stepped back from him with a grin on her face. “What? No chick flicks?”

“Not today. I don’t have any tissues in the house. And you know what a girl I am when it comes to feely chick movies.” He chuckled and moved past her to the living room.

Andy joined him on the couch. For the next couple of hours, they sat in silence, their feet propped on the coffee table, drinking coffee and watching old episodes of
Will & Grace
. This was one of the reasons why he loved his best friend so much. She didn’t press him, just pulled up a section of couch with him and let Jimmy be a vegetable.

“I think I’m ready for food.”

“Are you kidding? It’s been—” Andy glanced at her watch, “—two and a half hours. I’m surprised you haven’t eaten a throw pillow.”

“Duh… They’re way too starchy.”

“Right? You want to cook or go out?”

“I don’t feel like going out or cooking. How about delivery?”

She picked up her phone. “Cool. I’ll order a couple calzones from around the corner.”

“Sounds good. But I can order. I’ve got them on speed-dial.”

Andy laughed. “Ooookay—but let me tell ya—I don’t know if you realize it, but you haven’t stopped checking your phone the whole time I’ve been here. I’ll order. You go shower. You’re stinking up the joint.”

“You say the sweetest things to me.” He rolled his eyes. He hadn’t been checking his phone
that
much. Had he?

“It’s all said in love.” She batted her eyes and put her cell to her ear. “Maybe consider shaving too.”

“Fine.” Standing, he stretched and then headed upstairs.

Jimmy plugged in his phone to charge in the bathroom. He wanted it close in case Sonja called, or at the very least texted, while he showered. Christ, was he even going to hear from her? Anxiety pulsed through him as he turned on the water and then stripped off his clothes. Sonja probably wasn’t even going to bother letting him know if Casey came home or not. And that just pissed him off.

After finishing the wash-down, he took Andy’s suggestion and shaved. The shower hadn’t done much to reduce his tension, but at least he was clean. Grabbing a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt from his drawer, he pulled them on and went back downstairs, cell phone—with its lack of messages—tight in his hand. A knock sounded at the door when he reached the bottom step.

“Food’s here,” Andy hollered from the kitchen.

“On it.” Grabbing his wallet from the table, Jimmy took out some cash and went to the door. When he returned, Andy was setting the table.

“Oh, that smells soooo good.” She took the small boxes from him and set them on the table. “Drinks?”

“I think I have some beer. You want one?”

“Sure, why the hell not? It’s Saturday and long past noon, so, all good, right?” She laughed.

“True story.” Jimmy grabbed two Coronas from the fridge, popped the caps and brought them out to the table. His stomach let out a howl and he rubbed it. “Damn, guess I
am
hungry.”

“Me too.” Andy cut into her calzone, dipped it in the sauce and took a bite.

“Thanks for taking care of me, Andy.”

“Anytime. But, when we’re done eating, you’re telling me what the hell happened. Deal?”

He nodded and cut into his food. “Deal.”

Sonja paced the library, half-empty glass of Chardonnay in hand. It was after four in the afternoon already…and nothing. No word from her child, or the police.

She’d tried using the “Find My iPhone” feature for Casey’s cell. Sonya had no idea how, but it appeared her daughter had shut it off. None of her friends knew where she was either. She’d scanned in a picture of Casey and faxed it over to police station and now all there was to do was wait. Talk about feeling powerless.

Sonja wasn’t going to call Thomas, not until she was left with no choice anyway. He’d end up hopping the next flight here, and she didn’t need that. She cringed. The thought of dealing with him while trying to keep the freight train of emotions plowing through her in check had Sonja on the verge of being sick to her stomach.

Then there was James.

She wasn’t even sure what to do about him. He’d just left her there. Taking off as he had was wrong on so many levels—granted, Sonja had told him to leave during the argument, but she’d only said it because she was in a panic and angry. She could barely make sense of any of it now. On top of all of those emotions, she was terrified. Swallowing the last of the wine, she wandered back to the kitchen and refilled her glass.

This time she settled in her bedroom, but brought the bottle with her. May as well numb the brain a bit while she waited.

Waited to hear from Casey.

Waited to hear from the police.

Waited to hear from James.

Waited…

Sonja frowned before taking a long swallow of her wine. She could do this. She could keep her shit together. Casey would come home. James would show up and tell her how sorry he was, and Thomas…well, he could keep his annoying, misogynistic ass in Florida. Everything would go back to normal. She hoped.

After setting the glass of wine on the table, Sonja turned on her side, stretching out on the settee. She stared at her phone, willing it to ring. She wanted to call James, but she wasn’t going to do that. Since she hadn’t heard from him, he obviously was no longer concerned with Casey. Or her, for that matter. Sonja sighed and closed her eyes, willing the tears to stay at bay. She’d broken down too many times already, and she simply refused to do it again.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jimmy tossed and turned, trying to sleep. Giving in, he went into his bathroom and turned on the water. He cupped his hands under the faucet and swallowed a drink. With his eyes closed, he scrubbed his wet hands over his face. He hadn’t heard from Sonja and had no idea if Casey had come home. And it was driving him batshit crazy. “This is stupid.”

Jimmy stormed back into his bedroom, grabbed his phone and called her. Halfway through the third ring, she answered. “Hello? Hello?”

“Sonja, it’s me.”

“What?”

He heard some rustling, like maybe she dropped the phone or knocked something over. He glanced at the clock. Shit, it was late. “Sonja, can you hear me?”

“James? What time is it?”

“It’s after one in the morning. Is she home? Tell me she’s home, please?” Sonja started to cry.
Fuck.
“I’m coming over.” He didn’t wait for a reply, just disconnected the call.

The sound of her cries gutted him. He couldn’t stand her to be hurting alone like that. The taxi gods smiled down on him because he snagged a cab faster than he ever had before. When he got to her door, he knocked and waited. When she didn’t come to the door, he called her cell. She answered, sounding less frazzled, but still like she’d been sleeping. And then finally came and let him in.

“Hi.” Looking an absolute mess, she turned away, walked through the foyer, and down the hall.

Jimmy locked up and went to her bedroom. She was curled on her side on the settee. Her phone clutched to her chest. Then he noticed the empty bottle of wine on the small table beside her.
Shit.
Sadness blanketed every inch of his heart. She looked so small—so fragile. Moving to her side, he scooped her into his arms.

She pressed her face to his neck and snaked an arm around him. He carried her to the bed. Pulling the covers aside, he laid her down then sat beside her. She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

“Shh, mo chroí, I’m here now. It’s going to be okay.” He caught a tear with his thumb when it escaped. “She’s fine, and she’s going to come home.”

Her breath hitched on a sob. “Do you promise?”

“I do.” Leaning forward, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. “You need to sleep. We both do.”

She nodded and pulled him closer. “Don’t go. Please don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere. But you have to let go so I can get in the bed with you.”

She let out a short laugh through a sob, but he knew it was genuine. She let him go, and he rose, stripped off his clothes and climbed in bed with her. It killed him to see her so raw, but at least he’d be there to take care of her. Once he was settled, Sonja turned over and rested her head on his chest.

Jimmy stroked his fingers through her long hair. The things she said earlier, during their fight, didn’t matter. He might still be out of line, but that didn’t matter either. She needed him right now and that was enough for him. He meant the promise he made to her. They’d find Casey, or she’d come home on her own.

Either way, things were going to be fine. Between all of them.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Hot water streamed down Sonja’s hair and back. Her head throbbed thanks to the stress and worry, plus the massive amount of wine she’d consumed in the last twenty or so desperate hours. James had come over sometime in the middle of the night—though what happened or what they talked about was still a little fuzzy. Either way, she was glad he was there. Glad to have woken up in his arms too.

It seemed silly to think his arms around her somehow made all of this easier to bear, but there was no other way to describe it. She was still terrified, still had no idea where her daughter was; yet at the same time, she knew deep inside it was going to be okay. However, being the logical person she was, Sonja intended to make more calls. She’d harass New York’s finest and then go out looking on her own. With James in tow, of course…if he wanted to come.

After finishing in the shower, she dressed, put her hair up and wandered out to the kitchen. James was at the island, sipping a mug of coffee and reading the paper. She approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

He glanced over his shoulder at her. “Morning.”

Sonja pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. “Thank you for being here.”

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, mo chroí.”

“Good to know.” Sonja stepped away, rounded the countertop and poured a cup of coffee. “Did you get anything to eat?”

He flipped the paper over. “Not feeling too hungry. But you should probably eat.”

“I don’t think that’s remotely possible.” She took a sip of the hot fluid. “I want to go looking for her today.”

“Reading my mind, woman.” He nodded, pursing his lips. “Where do you think we should start?”

“I’m glad you said ‘we’.” She watched him over the rim of her mug. A small smile curved his lips, and he nodded again. She set her cup down. “I was thinking we could take a walk through Central Park. She likes to meet friends there, but she doesn’t know I know that.”

“All right.” He took a drink of his coffee as he moved to the sink. “How do you know she meets friends there?”

“I monitor her phone through GPS. Lot of good it’s doing me now though. She found a way to shut it off.”

He shook his head and washed out his mug. “Jesus, this kid.”

She stepped next to him, needing to feel closer. Wanting to touch him. His support was going to be critical in order to make it through this without having a nervous breakdown. Giving in to the urge, Sonja smoothed her hand down his back. “I know.”

He glanced at her before pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “You ready to get going?”

“Yes.” Sonja sighed. “I suppose I should probably call Thomas first and let him know she’s run away.”

Jimmy raised both brows. “You haven’t told him yet?”

She pushed away from the counter, heading for the doorway. “No. I didn’t want to deal with him. To be honest, I still don’t, so if we can get her home as soon as possible, then I won’t have to deal with him at all.”

“What’s up with that? Tell him to fuck off if he’s being an asshole. You do it to me all the time.”

“Let’s not go there, okay?” She glanced at him as she walked out of the room. He was following, but the look on his face was like a knife in her gut. She had enough to deal with at the moment. Discussing her inability to tell Thomas to keep his comments and opinions regarding her parenting skills to himself was not on the docket today.

He let out an exasperated sigh and he moved around her to open the front door. “Ohhhkayy.”

“Thank you.” She gave him a small smile and stepped past him.

They walked, hand in hand, quite a ways through Central Park. The corners and more secluded sections, where she’d mapped Casey to in the past, turned up nothing. They took a seat on a bench, and Sonja went through her list of contacts for Casey’s friends. Placing a call to each one, she let them know if any heard from her daughter to please call her immediately. Sonja cringed before and during each conversation and voicemail left. Being this open regarding her private business was deeply uncomfortable for her, but that wasn’t important.

The only important thing was finding Casey.

The last call was to the precinct. They were doing everything they could, or so they said, but Sonja knew it wasn’t truly the case. Her daughter was just another runaway, her file added to the already staggering number of kids reported daily.

James massaged the back of her neck. “Let’s go get something to eat.”

She slumped to her side, resting her head on his shoulder. “My stomach is so upset.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “And that’s exactly why you should eat. Come on.” He stood and held a hand out to her. “We’ll get something light. Besides, it’s going to be dark soon. The park isn’t safe at night. You know that.”

Taking his hand, Sonja stood. He pulled her into an embrace and she wrapped her arms around him, clinging to him like a life preserver. She supposed that’s exactly what he’d become for her today, or maybe what she
allowed
him to become. All her petty crap, the keeping him at bay, the trying to keep the great wall, erected so long ago, around her intact, and the fooling herself into thinking she didn’t care about him had all melted away.

Nothing like a frightening situation, or an unfathomable tragedy to help a person see what was really important in life. It shouldn’t have taken something like her daughter running away to wake her up, but the truth was, it had. Sonja raised her head from his shoulder and gazed at him. “You’re right. On both accounts.”

He touched the tip of her nose with his fingertip. “Glad you think so.”

Tears welled up, and Sonja blinked, trying to force them back. “I’m sorry.”

He tilted his head to the side. “For what?”

“For shutting you out.” A myriad of things she’d done to him ran through her mind. All the missed opportunities, or the times she’d disappointed him. Being so cold and detached… A tear escaped down her cheek and guilt pulsed through her—she’d slept with Thomas before anything had officially begun between her and James. Sonja cringed. She’d never forgive herself for being so stupid. “For a lot of things.”

“Mo chroí…” He cupped her face with his palms. “Thank you, truly. But it doesn’t matter anymore. What matters now is I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed his lips over hers.

Sonja circled his wrists with her fingers, closed her eyes and let his soft words warm her. “Thank you.”

“Always.” He kissed her again. “Let’s get you fed.” Taking her by the hand, he led her out of Central Park and to the closest restaurant.