Delphi Complete Works of Jerome K. Jerome (Illustrated) (Series Four) (317 page)

ENGLAND. You’re SURE?

DR. FREEMANTLE [he has his watch in his hand]. Quite sure. The station is only half a mile away.

ENGLAND. Don’t let’s miss it. Keep your watch in your ‘and, there’s a dear.

FANNY [her business is — and has been — to move quietly through the throng, making the girls welcome, talking, laughing with them, directing the servants — all in a lady’s way. On the whole she does it remarkably well. She is offering a plate of fruit to Judy]. You’re a nice acting manager, you are. [Judy laughs. Fanny finds herself in front of Ireland. She turns to England.] Won’t you introduce us?

ENGLAND. I beg your pardon, dear. Of course, you don’t know each other. Miss Tetsworth, our new Ireland, Lady Bantock. It is “Bantock,” isn’t it, dear?

FANNY. Quite right. It’s a good little part, isn’t it?

IRELAND. Well, depends upon what you’ve been used to.

ENGLAND. She’s got talent, as I tell ‘er. But she ain’t you, dear.
It’s no good saying she is.

FANNY [hastening to smooth it over]. People always speak so well of us after we’re gone. [Laughs.] You’ll take another glass of champagne.

IRELAND. Thank you — you made a great success, they tell me, in the part.

FANNY. Oh, there’s a deal of fluke about these things. You see, I had the advantage -

DR. FREEMANTLE [with watch still in his hand]. I THINK, ladies -

ENGLAND. Come on, girls.

A general movement.

FANNY. You must all come again — spend a whole day — some Sunday.

CANADA. Remember me to Vernon.

FANNY. He’ll be so sorry to have -

ENGLAND [cutting in]. ‘Ope we ‘aven’t upset you, dear. [She is bustling them all up.]

FANNY. Not at all. [She is kissing the girls.] It’s been so good to see you all again.

ENGLAND. ‘Urry up, girls, there’s dears. [To Fanny] Good-bye, dear. [Kissing her.] We DO miss yer.

FANNY. I’m glad you do.

ENGLAND. Oh, it ain’t the same show. [The others are crowding out of the door. She and Fanny are quite apart.] No chance of your coming back to it, I suppose? [A moment.] Well, there, you never know, do yer? Good-bye, dear. [Kisses her again.]

FANNY. Good-bye! [She stands watching them out. Bennet goes down with them. Ernest is busy collecting debris. Jane and Honoria stand one each side of the table, rigid, with set faces. After a moment Fanny goes to the open window. The voices of the girls below, crowding into the van, come up into the room. She calls down to them.] Good-bye. You’ve plenty of time. What? Yes, of course. [Laughs.] All right. Good-bye. [She turns, comes slowly back. She looks at Jane and Honoria, where they stand rigid. Honoria makes a movement with her shoulders — takes a step towards the door.] Honoria! [Honoria stops — slowly turns.] You can take away these glasses. Jane will help you.

Bennet has reappeared.

HONORIA. It’s not my place -

FANNY. Your place is to obey my orders.

BENNET [his coolness seems to have deserted him. His voice is trembling]. Obey her ladyship’s orders, both of you. Leave the rest to me. [Honoria and Jane busy themselves, with Ernest setting the room to rights.] May I speak with your ladyship?

FANNY. Certainly.

BENNET. Alone, I mean.

FANNY. I see no need.

BENNET [her firmness takes him aback. He expected to find her defiance disappear with the cause of it. But pig-headed, as all Bennets, her opposition only drives him on]. Your ladyship is not forgetting the alternative?

The Misses Wetherell have been watching the argument much as the babes in the wood might have watched the discussion between the two robbers.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [in terror]. Bennet! you’re not going to give notice!

BENNET. What my duty may be, I shall be able to decide after I have spoken with her ladyship — alone.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Dear! You will see him?

FANNY. I am sorry. I have not the time.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. No. Of course. [Appealing to Bennet for mercy] Her ladyship is tired. To-morrow -

FANNY [interrupting]. Neither to-morrow — nor any other day. [Vernon enters, followed by Newte. She advances to meet them.] You’ve just missed some old friends of yours. [She shakes hands with Newte.]

VERNON. So it seems. We were hoping to have been in time. [To
Newte] The mare came along pretty slick, didn’t she?

BENNET [he has remained with his look fixed all the time on Fanny].
May I speak with your lordship a moment — in private?

VERNON. Now?

BENNET. It is a matter that needs to be settled now. [It is the tone of respectful authority he has always used towards the lad.]

VERNON. Well, if it’s as pressing as all that I suppose you must.
[He makes a movement towards the door. To Newte] Shan’t be long.

FANNY. One moment. [Vernon stops.] I may be able to render the interview needless. Who is mistress of this house?

VERNON. Who is mistress?

FANNY. Who is mistress of your house?

VERNON. Why, you are, of course.

FANNY. Thank you. [She turns to Bennet] Please tell Mrs. Bennet I want her.

BENNET. I think if your lordship -

FANNY. At once. [She is looking at him. He struggles — looks at Vernon. But Vernon is evidently inclined to support Fanny. Bennet goes out. She crosses and seats herself at the desk. She takes from a drawer some neatly folded papers. She busies herself with figures.]

VERNON [he crosses to his Aunts]. Whatever’s the matter?

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. She is excited. She has had a very trying time.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Bennet didn’t like the idea of her receiving them.

NEWTE. It was that minx Judy’s doing. They’ll have the rough side of my tongue when I get back — all of them.

VERNON. What does she want with Mrs. Bennet?

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. I can’t think.

The atmosphere is somewhat that of a sheepfold before a thunderstorm.
The Misses Wetherell are still clinging to one another. Vernon and
Dr. Freemantle are both watching Fanny. Jane, Honoria, and Ernest
are still busy about the room.

Suddenly, to Newte — who is standing apart — the whole thing comes with a rush. But it is too late for him to interfere.

Mrs. Bennet, followed by Bennet, are entering the room. He shrugs his shoulders and turns away.

MRS. BENNET. Your ladyship sent for me?

FANNY. Yes. [She half turns — holds out a paper.] This wages sheet is quite correct, I take it? It is your own.

MRS. BENNET [she takes it]. Quite correct.

FANNY [she tears out a cheque she has written — hands it to Mrs. Bennet]. You will find there two months’ wages for the entire family. I have made it out in a lump sum payable to your husband. The other month is in lieu of notice. [A silence. The thing strikes them all dumb. She puts the cheque-book back and closes the drawer. She rises.] I’m sorry. There’s been a misunderstanding. It’s time that it ended. It has been my own fault. [To Vernon] I deceived you about my family -

NEWTE. If there’s been any deceit -

FANNY. My scene, please, George. [Newte, knowing her, returns to silence.] I have no relations outside this country that I know of. My uncle is Martin Bennet, your butler. Mrs. Bennet is my aunt. I’m not ashamed of them. If they’d had as much respect for me as I have for them, this trouble would not have arisen. We don’t get on together, that’s all. And this seems to me the only way out. As I said before, I’m sorry.

VERNON [recovering speech]. But why did you — ?

FANNY [her control gives way. She breaks out]. Oh, because I’ve been a fool. It’s the explanation of most people’s muddles, I expect, if they only knew it. Don’t talk to me, anybody. I’ve got nothing more to say. [To Bennet] I’m sorry. You wouldn’t give me a chance. I’d have met you half way. [To Mrs. Bennet] I’m sorry. Don’t be too hard on me. It won’t mean much trouble to you. Good servants don’t go begging. You can depend upon me for a character. [To Jane] You’ll do much better for yourselves elsewhere. [To Honoria] Don’t let that pretty face of yours ever get you into trouble. [To Ernest] Good-bye, Ernest. We were always pals, weren’t we? Good-bye. [She kisses him. It has all been the work of a moment. She comes down again.] Don’t think me rude, but I’d like to be alone. We can talk calmly about it all to-morrow morning. [To the Misses Wetherell] I’m so awfully sorry. I wish I could have seen any other way out. [The tears are streaming from her eyes. To Vernon] Take them all away, won’t you, dear? We’ll talk about it all to-morrow. I’ll feel gooder. [She kisses him. To Dr. Freemantle] Take them all away. Tell him it wasn’t all my fault. [To Newte] You’ll have to stop the night. There are no more trains. I’ll see you in the morning. Good night.

Bennet has collected his troop. Leads them away. Dr. Freemantle, kindly and helpful, takes off Vernon and the two ladies.

NEWTE [he grips her hand, and speaks in his short, growling way].
Good night, old girl. [He follows the others out.]

FANNY [crosses towards the windows. Her chief business is dabbing her eyes. The door closes with a click. She turns. She puts her handkerchief away. She looks at the portrait of Constance, first Lady Bantock]. I believe it’s what you’ve been telling me to do, all the time.

[CURTAIN]

ACT IV

SCENE

The same. The blinds are down. Ashes fill the grate.

Time. — Early the next morning.

The door opens softly. Newte steals in. He fumbles his way across to the windows, draws the blinds. The morning sun streams in. He listens — no one seems to be stirring. He goes out, returns immediately with a butler’s tray, containing all things necessary for a breakfast and the lighting of a fire. He places the tray on table, throws his coat over a chair, and is on his knees busy lighting the fire, when enter the Misses Wetherell, clad in dressing-gowns and caps: yet still they continue to look sweet. They also creep in, hand in hand. The crouching Newte is hidden by a hanging fire- screen. They creep forward till the coat hanging over the chair catches their eye. They are staring at it as Robinson Crusoe might at the footprint, when Newte rises suddenly and turns. The Misses Wetherell give a suppressed scream, and are preparing for flight.

NEWTE [he stays them]. No call to run away, ladies. When a man’s travelled — as I have — across America, in a sleeping-car, with a comic-opera troop, there’s not much left for him to know. You want your breakfast! [He wheedles them to the table.] We’ll be able to talk cosily — before anybody else comes.

They yield themselves. He has a way with him.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We haven’t slept all night.

Newte answers with a sympathetic gesture. He is busy getting ready the breakfast.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. There’s something we want to tell dear
Vernon — before he says anything to Fanny.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. It’s something very important.

NEWTE. We’ll have a cup of tea first — to steady our nerves.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. It’s so important that we should tell him before he sees Fanny.

NEWTE. We’ll see to it. [He makes the tea.] I fancy they’re both asleep at present.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. Poor boy!

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. If she only hadn’t -

Dr. Freemantle has entered.

DR. FREEMANTLE. I thought I heard somebody stirring -

NEWTE. Hush! [He indicates doors, the one leading to her ladyship’s apartments, the other to his lordship’s.]

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [turning and greeting him]. It was so kind of you not to leave us last night.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We were so upset.

Dr. Freemantle pats their hands.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. We hope you slept all right.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Excellently. Shall be glad of a shave, that’s all.
[Laughs. Both he and Newte suggest the want of one.]

NEWTE [who has been officiating]. Help yourself to milk and sugar.

DR. FREEMANTLE [who has seated himself]. Have the Bennets gone?

NEWTE. Well, they had their notice all right.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [they have begun to cry]. It has been so wrong and foolish of us. We have never learnt to do anything for ourselves.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL. We don’t even know where our things are.

DR. FREEMANTLE. They can’t all have gone — the whole twenty-three of them, at a couple of hours’ notice. [To Newte] Haven’t seen any of them, have you?

NEWTE. No sign of any of them downstairs.

DR. FREEMANTLE. Oh, they must be still here. Not up, I suppose. It isn’t seven o’clock yet.

THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. But they have all been discharged. We can’t ask them to do anything.

THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [to her sister]. And the Grimstones are coming to lunch with the new curate. Vernon asked them on Sunday.