Demons of the Sun (16 page)

“I’m sorry,” she said, then fled toward the safety of her bedroom.

Thirty minutes of lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, didn’t make Persephone feel any better. “I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. Waiting for a guy who only occasionally visits me in my dreams when there’s someone right here. Someone who likes me.”

But he doesn’t know everything about me. And if he did…

One tear escaped and ran down the side of her face, into her hair. The one thing she’d always been sure of was Adrastos. But now here she was, questioning if he really did love her, or if she’d end up waiting for him forever, only to be disappointed in the end.

Her throat ached, her chest ached, and the throbbing in her head was making everything worse.

She lifted her hand to the tattoo he’d given her, running her finger over the slightly raised skin. He’d promised forever, but right now, she needed the here and now. “If you’re out there and you really love me, please, please come to me tonight. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.”

Persephone stood in the meadow, staring at the tree Adrastos usually leaned on. But he wasn’t there. Her heart felt heavy, and she thought about flopping onto the ground and having herself a good cry.

And then there he was, stepping out from the trees.

He crossed the distance between them in long, quick strides and pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, my love. It was bad for a few days, and I couldn’t get away.”

Panic filled her, for his safety, and for what it meant if New Orleans wasn’t the only place seeing a demon resurgence. “It’s bad there, too?”

He swept her hair behind her ear. “It was, but we’re winning now. It’s looking better than it ever has, and it won’t be long now. Then I can come for you.”

To her dismay, tears formed in her eyes. She hated that her emotions were so near the surface lately.

Concern flooded his features. “What’s wrong?”

She blinked back her tears. “What if something happens to one of us? What if we never get to be together?”

“
I’m not going to let that happen.” He put his hand on the side of her face and looked into her eyes. “Persephone, I love you, and we
will
be together. Can’t you feel it?”

“I used to, but…” She shook her head. “Everything’s such a mess, and I’m having nightmares, and demons are everywhere, and I feel the darkness tugging at me. It’s bad, worse than it’s ever been. I don’t know what to do or think anymore. I feel so lost.”

His arms encircled her again and he held her to him. “I won’t lose you, not now, not after everything we’ve been through.” He kissed her forehead. “We’re so close. Don’t give up on me yet.”

In his arms, she felt like she could handle anything. Then her stomach twisted, because she’d been so close to slipping with Jax. “I don’t deserve you. You should find someone else who’s not such a mess.”

“There is no one else for me.” He intertwined his fingers with hers, then lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “All this fighting, I’m doing it for you, so we can be together. When that happens, we can put all this bad stuff behind us. We’ll never have to be apart again.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” His form flickered. “Take care of yourself.”

“Wait!” She threw her arms around him and kissed his lips, desperate to soak him in.

He returned her kiss, crushing her to him, his warmth washing over her. His lips neared her ear and his voice was soft. “I’m sorry, my love. I have to go. I’ll come back whenever I can.”

He kissed her once more.

And then he was gone.

Dreaming of Adrastos had put everything back in perspective—nothing seemed as dark or impossible in the light of day. But knowing things were good with Adrastos didn’t stop them from being awkward with Jax.

As Persephone ate breakfast, she didn’t have a clue what to say to him. And for once, he was quiet, too. She kept looking at him, missing how easy things had been less than twelve hours ago. Then he’d look at her, and she’d feel self-conscious and weird, and she’d turn her attention back to her cereal.

Persephone put her bowl in the sink, grabbed her backpack, and finally ventured her first words to Jax since last night. “The offer to ditch and take my car still stands. I know you don’t want to spend another boring day at school, and I’m sure you’re not looking forward to being around me all day either.”

The legs of his chair scraped the floor as he stood. He turned to her, eyebrows lowered, mouth set in a frown. “You think I’d let my feelings for you get in the way of my job?”

The real question was if he meant the feelings, like how he liked her, or that his feelings toward her had now turned bitter. The answer might hurt, so she didn’t dare ask. “I’m not worried about your job. Who we are is more than our jobs, and all I’m saying is if you want a break, I completely understand.”

He stepped closer, until their bodies were all but touching. “If you think I want a break, then
you
don’t understand.” His eyes held a challenge. “You can’t honestly tell me you feel nothing for me.”

Keeping her eyes locked onto his went against all her instincts, but she knew he’d call her on it if she looked away. “You’re right, I can’t. Because I do care for you. As a friend. So I’m going to tell you once again that I’m in love with someone else, and I hope you’ll respect that, or we’re going to have to re-think our arrangement, friends or not.”

His posture stiffened, and she could feel every painful thump of her heart as she waited for him to say something. She’d meant what she’d said when she said it, but now…

What if he leaves and I have to go back to being all-alone? Who’s going to bring me back if the darkness seeps in? I need him here. I’m better with him here.

He put his hand on her shoulder, and she closed her eyes, waiting for those painful words,
I’m leaving.
“Okay,” he said. “Friends then.”

She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him.

And just when she thought everything was so clear, her perspective got all messed up again.

***

“Hey.”

Jax didn’t have to turn around to know it was Persephone. Not only because the voice, but he could also smell her perfume. He’d inhaled that light floral scent so many times as they’d sparred or whenever she’d rest her head on his shoulder as they watched TV. Then there was the way her nearness always affected him, sending his pulse racing and turning his insides to mush.

“Um, we’re going for a snack run instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria,” Persephone said. “You want to come?”

He closed his locker door and spun around. “Yeah, sure.”

Her smile seemed more relief than happiness. He realized he’d pushed her too far this morning—far enough everything was strained between them. At least he’d given it a real shot. He didn’t know how he’d fallen so hard, so fast, but the ache in his chest as he stared at her confirmed it had happened.

“We’ve got to hurry so we can make it back on time. It’s not nearly enough time to eat, but we go anyway, because it’s a break from school, and the junk food’s way better than the cafeteria food.” Her smile widened, and this one hit her eyes. “That’s why I go anyway. The guys go because they think the cashier is hot, and she wears really skimpy outfits.”

“Well, if there’s a hot cashier, then by all means, let’s hurry.” He almost put his arm around her, like he would’ve yesterday without a second thought.

I can’t believe this tiny girl’s got me so messed up. Man, I need to smash my fists into something.

Her boyfriend seems like a good place to start. 

Even though he knew it wouldn’t solve anything—it certainly wouldn’t make her happy—he held onto that thought. He needed something to help him get through the rest of the day.

Jax walked the aisles of the convenience store with Persephone as she studied the shelves of candy.

“So how come you’re not on the phone all the time?” he asked.

A crease formed between her eyebrows. “Why would I be on the phone all the time?”

“The boyfriend. I assume long distance means lots of calls.”

“Oh. We’re not really phone people.”

“Then how do you keep in touch? Letters?”

Without turning around, she said, “I don’t really want to talk about him with you. It’s weird.”

He opened his mouth to say,
because you like me,
but stopped himself. The goal was to get back to comfortable, not make it harder. “I’m just curious how it works.”

“All you need to know is it does.” She grabbed a Snickers and a package of Twizzlers. “Now hurry and pick something, so we have time to eat it before being forced inside the rest of the day.”

Why is she so defensive about him? And why can’t I just let it go?

He grabbed a bag of potato chips and headed up front, trailing after Persephone.

A gray-haired lady with thick, round glasses stood behind the counter, working the cash register. “Wow,” Jax said. “The guys were definitely right about the hot cashier.”

Persephone turned to face him, a smile on her face that melted his heart. “Guess the other girl isn’t working today. Or maybe she’s in the back. You could ask, then you can drool over her like the rest of the guys do. Hell, you’d probably even have a chance with her, unlike the rest of them.”

“That’s okay. I like the view I’ve got.”

“So you go for the older ladies,” she said with a laugh. “Good to know.”

Jax locked eyes with her. “I wasn’t talking about the cashier.”

Pink crept into her cheeks, and she turned away from him. He’d sworn he was going to stop saying things like that to her, but he couldn’t help it. Part of him still thought that one of these days she’d realize she liked him as much as he liked her. He only hoped it would be sooner than later. And preferably before her supposedly perfect boyfriend paid her a visit.

They paid for their lunch and headed toward the exit.  Persephone came to an abrupt stop a couple feet short of the door, and he almost plowed into her. “Whoa,” he said. “If you’re going to put on the brakes like that, you need to give me a hand signal or something.”