Devil’s in the Details (85 page)

"You lied again. Another lie that didn't have to be told." She turned to face the window, "I hate you, Victoria, I hate that…." She swallowed down another sob, "I can't do this." She turned to walk away when I grabbed her again. My resolve was breaking apart, had broken apart the second I touched her. “At least I finally know I was right. You’re alive, always have been, but it was just another lie.”

"Alex, wait."

She shook her head, "No Victoria, I'm done. I can't do this, I have a life back home, I have someone…a life I'm finally trying to move on with." She glared up at me, "Fuck you for all of this, fuck you and all of your lies. Fuck making me think I was losing my mind." The words came out with slow and steady venom and I cringed, trying to not let my jealousy rear its head. To be jealous of anyone in Alex's life would be even more selfish of me, but it didn't stop the anger from building.

I sighed hard, my anger filling my voice quickly, "Alex, I did what I did to keep you safe."

She rolled her eyes and tried to yank away from me, I held tighter, "Stop and listen. I'm about to tell you all the fucking truths of why I had to fake my death and leave you in a million broken pieces. If I hadn't done what I did, you were going to be murdered in our bedroom in a very horrible way. Leaving a vicious messy crime scene that would have haunted everyone you ever loved. My fucking shitty boss planned it from the second he found about you and my want to retire. He set out two very lovely contracts on our heads. I found out at the last second that it was a ruse and even if I was dead and my contract was collected, you were going to die." I held her eyes for a second to make sure I had all of Alex's attention.

"So, I gave up my life, the one I found with you. I gave up the one true love of my life, the one person who made me human and so damn happy, and replaced her with the monster in the black hood. After I died, I sought out every single person who was ever named in the plot to go after you and killed them. One by one, in manners that will one day come back to haunt me as my mind fails and I am no longer strong. After they were all dead, I sought him out and killed him slowly and painfully as he told me more secrets of how my monster was created." I paused as my throat tightened, "Secrets and lies, the foundation of my creation, and apparently my life blood."

Alex huffed at me, "I don't need to hear any of this. I got what I needed, I don't understand why Mary did this. It served no purpose."

I cringed at her flippant tone and let go of her arm, moving one step closer to her as I cried, "I need you to hear this Alex, because you standing here in front of me, is whittling away the façade I have kept for so long. The things I know, the truth of how I came to be, it's destroying me." I understood exactly why Mary sent Alex to me, she needed me to find my humanity again before I continued on with whatever she and Dani had found. I had to find a reason to protect Alex with everything I had, but I needed to find my humanity and face the truth of my creation.

"Just like you destroyed me." Alex folded her arms, "I don't want to do this, keep your stupid spy secrets to yourself. Let me go, Victoria." Her voice trembled with uncertainty, it was the last thing she really wanted me to do.

I looked up at the old wooden ceiling, rubbing the sting away on my cheek from her hard slap, "As I tore his finger nails out one by one, demanding him to tell me who was coming for you, he laughed in my face and fell into a delirious state from the pain. He told me that my capture in the war was planned. It wasn't the fallout of being behind enemy lines, it was a perfectly planned operation to seek out female candidates for what was to become Voltaire."

I looked down at Alex, her eyes welling up, "You see, I was handpicked to go into the warzone. My capture, and the death of my teammates, was all planned. Down to the last hot steel spike they drove into my skin. My torture was a morbid job interview of sorts and I was not expected to survive, since the other ones had died within the first few days, but then I survived. Their torture worked and I proved to be a strong candidate to move on to the next stage of a selection process I had no idea I was a part of."

I shrugged slowly, "What they didn't expect was my mind to fracture as it did and kill with such ease. That was a bonus for them, and they cashed in on it." I stared at her, "People died, good people died all because two old men wanted to create their own living killing machines to do their bidding." I sniffled, hearing Arthur's screams as I broke every one of his fingers in a blind rage after he told me I was nothing but a pawn in his chess game. "I am a product of that. A broken monster who had no cage."

I looked away from her, not wanting to keep on about Arthur as I sensed it was falling on deaf ears, "You were my weakness and my greatest strength. They feared you, Alex. They feared you because you were the reason why I wanted out. Falling in love with you was the best thing to ever happen to me."

I smiled softly, "I think I know why Mary sent you here, but I will let you go as you asked, let you move on with your life. After four years I can't expect you to hold on and wait for me." I moved to the door to open it for her, "But I will always love you with everything I am, I will never ever regret it or that I still love you so much, Alex." I smiled painfully, "I don't think I ever really deserved you." I closed my eyes at how close she was to me, her body warmth mixing with her perfume to swarm all of my senses. I was still so very much in love with her and she was the only thing in this world that could break through all of my defenses like a wrecking ball. I hated Mary for doing this, reigniting four years of a stale life I created to protect the woman in front of me.

I sighed reaching for the door, when Alex's hand covered mine, my class ring still on her right middle finger, "Victoria, wait."

I looked up in glassy blue eyes, Alex let out a breath before she closed the small space between us and kissed me hard and angry. I was startled by the impact but quickly melted into it and kissed her back like no time had ever passed between us. Her hands tangled in my hair tightly, yanking as she kissed me harder for a minute longer before breaking it off.

She panted with her hands still wound in my hair, "I hate you so much right now, Victoria." She slowly moved her eyes to meet mine, "But I can't ignore how in love with you I still am."

I could see the intensity in her eyes, the confliction of emotions she felt for me. This was a newer side of Alex I had never seen before, the strange almost dangerous intensity in her eyes as she spoke.

I licked my lips, swallowing slowly and whispering, "I know, I don't expect you to forgive me."

Alex sucked in a slow breath, "Not until you tell me everything. Everything, Victoria. No more lies, no more secrets, no more." She closed her eyes, "I need to hear it all."

I nodded slowly and reached for Alex, pulling her back into my arms, I held her. Sighing internally at the way she felt in my arms. God had I missed the way she fit with me. The way she squeezed the life out of me in an angry, loving embrace, I rasped out, "Where do you want me to start?

~ A little about the author ~

I started this journey writing fanfiction a handful of years and found that I had a lot in my imagination that needed to be shared with the world. The result was my first novel, Redemptio Animae, which I hope you have read and thoroughly enjoyed! This book will have a sequel that will answer questions and carry the two leads on their journey to reclaim their lives and love! So, look forward to that in the coming year!

I also thank you for purchasing and supporting an independent author!!!

If you’re interested in keeping tabs on me and the future works that will certainly follow this debut novel, head on over to Facebook and find me at Sydney Gibson at Facebook.com/sydney.fivesixthree

And then to enjoy some of the nonsensical tweets and updates with future novels and the ongoing fanfiction I still occasionally putter with, find me on Twitter at Syndey563a.

There is also an author page on Amazon where you can follow me and be updated when the next book is going to be published.

Website is coming soon!!!!

Thanks to all of you!

Syd!