Devotion (Club Destiny #7) (21 page)

“Yeah?” Cole didn’t back down as Luke slowly moved forward. He could see the emotion finally taking Luke the same as it had him the more he thought about it. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”

“Ever wonder how
I
feel?” Luke asked, and Cole couldn’t hide his own surprise.

“Did it ever cross your mind that I’m the one everyone seems to come to when they have a problem? I’m the one everyone expects to take charge and make things right. Did it?”

Cole couldn’t answer. Luke was right. Most people did go to him when they needed something. As much as he tried to handle things on the home front when Sierra needed something, or Hannah, Cole knew that wasn’t the case with most people. Luke was the one who had to make the final decision on the club, taking the weight of it with him and dealing directly with the aftermath ever since.

Luke’s gaze locked with his and he waited.

“Have you ever thought that, at some point, I want to give up control? That I’d prefer to have someone else take care of me for a change?”

Cole wasn’t sure what Luke was getting at. He heard the words, but he didn’t understand. It wasn’t like Cole could step in and handle the club. Luke wouldn’t allow it. It wasn’t like…

Cole’s breath caught in his chest.

“That’s right,” Luke said as he moved closer, obviously noticing the second Cole understood what he was saying.

When their bodies aligned once again, Cole didn’t try to move, he didn’t put up his defenses either. He stood his ground, but allowed Luke to get as close as he wanted. Aside from their chests touching, nothing else on their bodies did.

“You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about it, Cole. Thought about handing all control over to you. And I’m not just referring to the club, although you’re the only person in the world I would trust to handle it. I’m tired of handling it all. Tired of making the decisions, being in control. I want someone to lean on. I want to lean on you.” Luke’s voice trailed off before he penetrated Cole with his eyes once more. “I want to let you take what you want from me. Except that’s not what you want, is it? You need me to be in control, just like everyone else does, but you need it differently.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Cole whispered.

“Am I?” Luke leaned in closer, his mouth just a breath away. “Is it my imagination that you love to feel the connection between us when I’m inside you? Did I just dream up that you need me to force you because it’s your opportunity to leave the decision making to someone else? To know that you don’t have to figure out how to fix something?”

Cole couldn’t answer because Luke was right. Everything he said was the absolute truth. Except there was more, more than Luke was willing to admit.

“We’ve come to a stalemate,” Luke stated, not moving away. “From what it sounds like, we’re both looking for something that we aren’t getting. And this time, it’s between the two of us, only we haven’t owned up to it.”

The pain that lanced through Cole’s chest at the thought of what Luke was saying nearly brought him to his knees. He did need more, but he needed more from Luke. He needed to feel like he wasn’t second fiddle, needed Sierra to trust him as much as she trusted Luke to handle the difficult things. Most importantly, he needed this man to let him in, let him take care of him for once.

“Running doesn’t solve that problem, Cole.”

He wasn’t about to disagree. “Where does that leave us?” Cole asked through the painful lump in his throat, the one threatening to choke him.

~~*~~

“It leaves us here to figure this out,” Luke said, his heart pounding painfully against his ribs. “I want more, Cole. But I don’t want anyone else. You and Sierra are all I need. I’ve always known that. Maybe I don’t know how to express it.” Taking one step back, Luke put some distance between them before he did what he wanted and slammed his mouth down on Cole’s and got lost in what his body had to offer rather than talking about this.

Talking wasn’t his thing. Neither was it Cole’s and look where it had gotten them.

“Do you know how hard it was for me the day Hannah was born?” he asked, turning away so Cole couldn’t see the emotion he couldn’t seem to get a grip on. He wasn’t going to cry.

“I thought about it,” Cole admitted.

“She’s your daughter, Cole. You and Sierra created that child, and I love her with every single fiber in my body just like she were mine. That doesn’t make it so. That doesn’t mean she can’t be taken away from me if the three of us don’t…” He couldn’t finish the statement. Luke didn’t even want to consider life without Sierra and Cole in it.

This wasn’t temporary, it wasn’t part time, and it wasn’t just because. This was a forever love. One Luke wasn’t willing to walk away from. This was just a small hill they had to get over, heaven knew there’d be more, but they had to make it over this one. Luke didn’t expect this to be easy, but he expected it to last.

When the silence began to get to him, Luke turned to face Cole, noticing the man was just staring at him.

“I love you, Cole.” He had to swallow before he continued. “I’ll never stop loving you. You and I both know it’s not easy for me, but you stuck it out with me once. Don’t give up on me now,” Luke begged, his tone reflecting every insecurity he’d ever felt, his eyes blurry as he tried to hold in what he feared would eventually overwhelm him.

The next thing he knew, Cole’s mouth was pressed firmly against his, his arms wrapped around him, his brawny hands holding him in place as he explored the kiss. Luke let himself get lost in Cole, just like he always did. Although they may both be challenged when it came to expressing themselves with words, it wasn’t the case when they gave in to the desire that still pulled them together.

Cole pulled away, lightly brushing his firm lips against his and Luke didn’t want to move, didn’t want to let go of what they both needed right then and there.

“I love you,” Cole whispered and Luke answered with a growl, quickly lifting Cole’s shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the cheap motel carpet.

“I want you naked,” Luke demanded, moving back slightly, more so than he even wanted to so they could get rid of the clothes that were hindering their ability to feel one another.

Within seconds, probably a personal best for both of them, they were naked and on the bed, Luke coming down on top of Cole. They were a tangle of arms and legs and mouths, neither of them able to get close enough, but still trying desperately as they devoured one another.

“I need to be inside of you,” Luke said when he broke the kiss, lifting up so he could stare down at Cole. He saw the sudden flash in his eyes, something akin to sadness and Luke realized exactly what Cole was looking for.

Maybe he’d been wrong. Maybe Cole wasn’t always looking for Luke to be the one in control. “Right now, I need this,” Luke whispered, pressing his lips against Cole’s gently. “I know what you need, and I fully intend to give it to you, but right now, I need this.” Luke realized he was probably being selfish, but he couldn’t explain his need to feel Cole surrounding him completely.

Cole nodded his head in agreement, pulling Luke’s mouth back down to his and the kiss that ensued started out slow, but it quickly morphed into an inferno that threatened to incinerate them both. When Luke broke the kiss again, Cole smiled that sexy, knowing grin.

“In my bag.”

Luke managed to lean over the edge of the bed and retrieve the lubricant from Cole’s bag, not willing to ask why he brought it with him. He could only hope that Cole had the forethought to consider that this might happen. Luke hoped that was the case. He hoped that Cole trusted him enough to know that he would come after him.

Right now was about healing their hearts. When they got home, Luke would work on showing Cole just how much he trusted
him
.

~~*~~

Cole held onto Luke for dear life.

Looking up at him, seeing the intensity in his handsome face as he slowly inched his way deeper inside his body was one of the most incredible feelings he’d ever known.

There were times when they needed something else, something rough, something equivalent to sky diving from thirty thousand feet. But right now, this was what they both needed. Although the need was there, the ferocity in Luke’s gaze mirrored what was burning deep in Cole’s chest. Slower, gentler.

“Fuck,” Cole groaned as Luke slowly continued to slide deeper, not retreating until he was lodged all the way inside of him, their eyes locked on one another.

“You feel so good,” Luke growled. “So fucking good. I don’t want to stop.”

When Luke started talking, Cole feared he wouldn’t be able to last. It wasn’t very often that Luke expressed himself in this way. Usually, it was with his body, but hearing the rumble of his chest as he tried to control himself sent a surge of power through Cole. He did this to Luke. Him. What was happening right here, right now, between them, this was all about what they felt for one another.

Luke’s hands slid up the backs of Cole’s thighs, lifting his legs, pushing them closer to his body as he began to pull out before returning with short, shallow thrusts that had Cole nearly begging for more. Somehow, he managed to keep his mouth shut, did his best not to beg for that something more that would take the edge off. They would get there, and for now, he just needed to feel.

Tossing his head back, Cole closed his eyes as Luke practically bent him in half, directing his cock at an angle that damn near had him jumping off the bed. “Oh, fuck.” The words were ripped from his chest as the pleasure intensified on every upstroke. “Luke.”

“Tell me,” Luke whispered, causing Cole to open his eyes and peer up at the man who was now leaning over him. “Tell me exactly what it feels like when I’m buried deep inside of you.”

“So fucking good.” Cole tensed again as Luke purposely slid in slower, changing the angle again. “Fuck! You keep doing that, and I’m gonna come.”

“I want you to come.” Luke started pumping his hips faster, holding his body braced on the back of Cole’s thighs, his hands pinning his legs down on each side of his chest. “I want to see you stroke your cock and come for me.”

Cole began stroking slowly, but he found he began to mirror Luke’s pace. When Luke thrust harder, Cole’s hand tightened around his dick painfully. “Fuck me,” Cole begged. “I want to feel you come inside me.”

There was a turbulent flash of emotion that Cole witnessed in Luke’s eyes, seconds before he began pounding into him harder and harder, no longer adjusting the angle because the lust had taken over and they were in a race to the finish line, neither of them holding back.

“Fucking come for me,” Cole practically barked the order at Luke, holding off his own release as he waited impatiently.

“Yes. God, yes!” Luke’s voice echoed through the small room as his body stilled, his release spilling inside of Cole as he let himself go, his own orgasm ripping through him, stealing the breath from his body, followed by the last remnants of his heart that he might’ve been holding back.

Chapter Twenty One

The second Cole walked into the house, he made the decision that he wasn’t going to travel ever again. Without stopping, he immediately made his way to Hannah’s room where he found her fast asleep.

“Sorry, she just laid down for her nap,” Sierra whispered sweetly as she moved up close to his side. “I would’ve kept her awake if I knew you would be here so soon.” Cole pulled Sierra up beside him, leaning down so he could inhale her flowery scent, pressing his lips against the top of her head. God, he missed her.

Not wanting to wake Hannah, Cole laced his fingers with Sierra’s and led her out of the room and back to the living room.

For the entire five days he’d been gone, Cole had thought about both of his girls almost every minute. Even though Luke had stayed for one day with him, trying to convince him that he needed to talk to Travis – which he knew to be a lie, but loved the man even more for it – Cole still wanted nothing more than to be home with the three of them. As much as it pained him to stay the entire week and to watch Luke drive away, Cole needed time to himself. Time to think.

Now that he was home, he knew they probably needed to have a talk.

“Is Luke still at the club?”

“Yes. He said he’s leaving right at five.”

Cole nodded, trying to hold back the smile that the information caused. Although Cole and Luke had succumbed to healing their wounds by divulging in one another repeatedly during the time they were alone together in Austin, they’d managed to do some talking as well. Needless to say, they had both agreed that some changes were in order, and there was no need to put them off.

Cole led Sierra out onto the back patio, grabbing the baby monitor on his way so they could listen for Hannah while they were outside. He never let go of her hand until he was situated in one of the chairs, pulling her down on his lap where she snuggled against him easily.

“I missed you,” Sierra whispered.

“I missed you too, baby.” Cole brushed Sierra’s hair back, tucking it behind her ear as he glanced down at her where she rested her head against his shoulder.

“Luke said the two of you managed to talk some things out.” Sierra didn’t pose it as a question, but Cole sensed she was looking for some sort of affirmation that they were, in fact, good once again.

“I’m sorry I walked out the way I did,” Cole said first, intending to get into the details, but needing her to know that he realized he’d been wrong. “I should’ve talked to you and Luke first.”

Sierra lifted her head, giving Cole a front row view into ice blue eyes that saw so much more than he ever expected her to. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No,” Cole slid his hand into her hair, gently pulling her close until their cheeks were pressed against one another. “Baby, you didn’t hurt me. I hurt myself.”

Sierra forced him to release her, obviously wanting to look him in the eye.

For the last week, Cole thought nonstop about what he could’ve done differently, and he wasn’t sure he could’ve done anything, aside from not running away when he should’ve stayed and fought for what he wanted. The selfish part of him told him that he needed for Luke to come after him the way that he did, needed to know that what he felt for him wasn’t one sided. That was the difference between Luke and Sierra, she might be busy, she might be just as distracted as Luke, but he didn’t have any doubts as to how she felt about him. Why that was, he still didn’t understand.