Dialogue (32 page)

Joy and sadness. Write a three-page scene that contrasts joy and sadness. First, write from the sad character's point of view, then rewrite the same scene from the happy character's point of view. This can be two characters breaking up, one character being offered another character's job, or a brother and sister learning what's in their recently deceased parent's will. You get the idea.

Peace. Write one passage of dialogue that reveals a character at peace but still includes tension. Some possible scenarios:

• a character who has accepted her doctor's cancer diagnosis, but whose family members are going nuts

• a character on death row being led to his execution

• a character facing off with a bear in the wild

Compassion. Create a scenario between two characters who are arguing and trying to get their points across. They're conflictive and defensive, but one finally makes a statement that causes the protagonist to feel compassion. Go inside of the protagonist for the emotion and then carefully craft his response.

[ the uhs, ands, and ers — some how-tos of dialogue quirks ]

Earlier in this book, I mentioned that I once had a Marine boyfriend with a bit of a speech problem. I was attracted to his dark looks and muscular build the moment I met him at a friend's party, but then he spoke.

"Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked. "To the thore? Ith's cold outthide, but you can wear my jacket."

"Okay..."

"Let me thee if Richard needsth anything at the thore."

Aaargh! How could this good-looking guy have such a horrible lisp? As much as I tried to get over it, every time he came home on leave and showed up on my doorstep, I just couldn't cope. As I reflect on that time in my life now, of course, I feel terrible that it even mattered to me. But I was seventeen and needed a perfect boyfriend to show off to my friends. The point is, as much as I hate to admit it, and though I wasn't aware of it at the time, the lisp was a deal breaker for me as far as feeling attracted to this man. That's how important speech can be in a story, too. It can make or break relationships and business deals, and it certainly affects how seriously we take a character.

Most people speak fairly normally—if there is such a thing as normal. But every now and then, someone opens his mouth and something distinctive comes out. It could turn us off or it could turn us on, but what it does do is mark that person. In the '80s television show
The Nanny,
the main character had this nasal voice and really, really nasal laugh. It was horrible. No matter what she said, we were laughing, just because of her voice.

The quirkiness of a character's speech should be something we think

consciously about. It should rise organically out of who the character is and what his purpose is in the story. You don't want to just have a character stuttering or talking ninety miles an hour for no reason. Remember—with dialogue you're not just trying to find something to use to characterize your cast, you're creating a story that needs to hang together and connect on all levels to communicate your theme to the reader.

With that in mind, let's look at a few ways of speaking that will distinguish your character from the rest of the cast in your story while at the same time
show
us who he is and how his way of speaking will enhance his role. The challenge for us as writers is to find a way to
show
our characters' speech on the printed page. Sometimes we can do it by formatting our words and sentences in a certain way; other times we need to use tags to indicate that the dialogue is being said in a certain way. For the sake of example, let's use my boyfriend's sentence above, "Let me thee if Richard needsth anything at the thore."

the twisted tongue

Let's start with this one—which would include my boyfriend's lisping problem. But there's also the stutterer, which in real life can be painful to listen to because you keep wanting to help the speaker get the words out. "L-l-let me see if R-R-R-R-Richard needs anything at the s-s-store."

This is something you don't want to overdo. When a character has a speech impediment, you want to just show it once in a while, throwing in a line or two of lisping or stuttering so we remember how this character talks. Use it too much and the reader begins to find reading the story a rather annoying journey. And remember, there needs to be a good reason for giving a character a speech impediment. Characterization isn't enough; it needs to have something to do with the plot so it's part of the piece of art that eventually becomes your novel.

the rocket

This character is off like a rocket every time he gets a chance to talk.

"LetmeseeifRichardneedsanythingatthestore." This could be one way of showing the speed at which this character talks. Of course, if this is a major character in your story, it could be annoying to read much of his dialogue.

Also, this could simply indicate not necessarily speed but that this character runs all of his words together.

You could simply describe the pace at which he speaks the first time he appears and then just allude to it occasionally after that. This is sometimes the most effective way to work with speech patterns of all kinds—make sure the reader gets it the first or first few times, then simply indicate it here and there after that so it doesn't take over the story or be so difficult to read that the reader puts your story down.

What's important with all speech patterns is what's underneath. In some cases, like a stutter or lisp, it could be something physical, though I've learned that these particular disabilities can be corrected through therapy because they are often acquired in childhood when someone is traumatized.

But most often, the way we talk emerges out of who we are. I can personally speak about the "rocket" because this is me a lot of the time. Unless I'm consciously trying to talk slowly, I'm off like a rocket. I just get so excited about whatever it is I'm saying. It doesn't do any good for someone to tell me to slow down. I can't seem to do that for long.

I don't just talk fast. I move fast. I think fast. I drive fast. If I could find a way to sleep faster, I would, because I'm always afraid I'm missing something. Keep your character's entire personality in mind when giving him a distinctive speech pattern.

the turtle

"Let.. .me see.. .if.. .Richard needs.. .anything.. .at.. .the store."

This is the opposite of the rocket. My best friend happens to be a slow talker, and again, this is because of who she
is.
She moves slowly, thinks slowly, and drives so slowly that it's often painful for me to ride in the car with her, given who I am.

Are there other ways you can indicate a character's slow pattern of speech? Be creative. The exercises at the end of this chapter will give you the opportunity to be creative with each of these speech patterns and consider how you might
show
each one in a page of dialogue.

This character in your story is in no hurry and can't be made to move or talk faster, no matter what. I think it might even be physically impossible for her.

You could indicate her slow pace in narrative that describes her dialogue.
Sue meandered from subject to subject while my soup grew cold. "You're..." yawn..."not...eating..."she looked around the restaurant... "yoursoup."

the baby doll

This character talks in a high-pitched voice, like a little girl who's never grown up, but who is grown up. I don't know of any males who talk like this—well, besides Michael Jackson. That doesn't mean there aren't any. I just think it's rare.

This character comes from a kind of unsure place inside of herself, perceiving the world through a not-quite-grown-up view. Her voice squeaks, like a vocalist hitting the high notes and her voice cracking. That might be one way you could
show
it. "Let me see"—squeak—"if Richard needs anything at the store"—giggle. Since you can't really
show
a tone because it's a sound, again you have to be creative and think how you might let the reader in on how this character's voice
sounds.

the bass drum

This character sounds like Tom Brokaw. Again, because this speech pattern has more to do with sound than it does the
way
the speech is said, you might have to describe the voice rather than
show
it in the actual dialogue. You can simply use narrative, something like:
Whenever he spoke, it sounded like he was inside the chamber of a bass drum, hollow and deep.
Sometimes, you can use famous people to help the reader key into how a character speaks. You might just use the famous newsman to show how a character sounds:
Every time he spoke, I found myself looking toward the television to see if Tom Brokaw was broadcasting the news.