Dialogue (33 page)

the calculator

This character is constantly weighing his words, talking very carefully and methodically. There is any number of reasons for this. Sometimes this character is concerned about his image, wanting to come off well to others, so he chooses every word. It could be that he wants power over another character and is weighing every word to make sure he's manipulating the situation to his advantage. He could simply be scared and feeling the need to not say anything that would put him in danger or bring on a threat of any kind.

He seemed deep in thought, then finally spoke. "Let me see if.. .Richard," he paused then continued, "needs anything at the.. .store."

Put yourself inside of your character's head in order to get to the motivation behind the patterns of speech you give her. Being inside of her head will help you determine what she says and how she says it. Sometimes a speech pattern is a permanent part of a character's speech; other times it's momentary and temporary because of the situation in which she finds herself.

the ace

The ace simply doesn't talk much at all and when he does, he gives one-word answers. Or he grunts. He probably wouldn't even complete the sentence about Richard. "Let me see if." His words may trail off. "Let me see if.. .Richard.. .needs..." You can't always understand the ace because he usually doesn't want to be talking to you anyway. A conversation with him might go something like:

"So, Joe, how's it going?"

"It's goin'."

"You have enough work to do?"

"Yep." (Or a nod.)

"How's your family? June, the boys?"

"Fine."

"You have a vacation planned this year? You taking your family anywhere?"

"Camping."

Somehow you'll have to characterize this guy, and while the one-word answers help do this, you're going to have to find other ways: his clothes, his mannerisms, and his demeanor. This character just doesn't have a lot to tell you about himself.

the apologizer

This character is basically apologizing for being alive. No matter what the subject of conversation, she's saying she's sorry. This dialogue is easy to write, simply being characterized by "I'm sorry" thrown in at regular intervals. Since she's sorry for everything, this is a character who is often full of shame and doesn't like to be seen. She wishes she were invisible, so she talks in low tones and might mumble a lot. You can show this in narrative or you could be creative and use a smaller font for her speech. In dialogue with others, she's easily manipulated and controlled, thinking she's responsible for everything that happens.

the shield

Have you ever talked to someone who, no matter what you're talking about, is defending himself or whomever you're talking about? His tone of voice shows this. It's like he feels that he's always under attack and has to ward off the next blow, so he's always standing at the ready. To get into this character's mindset, you have to imagine what it would feel like to think that everyone is against you, trying to pin something on you, and working constantly to find the gap in your armor where they can zoom in and get you. This character's face is often pinched as he waits for the next zinger he needs to deflect. He's quick on the draw, as he has a lot of experience deflecting verbal blows and is used to verbal sparring. His answers in conversation are fast and his goal is to keep others away from him.

"Do you think—"

"No, of course not," Earl quickly said. "I didn't know anything about it. How could I have been there?" His voice was rising, growing shriller, then, "Let me see if Richard needs anything at the store."

Here Earl is deflecting what he thinks is coming before it can hit him and then quickly changing the subject. He has many strategies to keep others as far away from him as possible.

the channel changer

The channel changer speaks in sentence fragments.

"See if Richard needs anything. At the store, you know."

This character is distracted and may not be really thinking about the conversation she's having. Or she may be thinking about another conversation she'd like to be having. Or many other conversations she'd like to be having.

The channel changer talks in circles. He's unfocused, and you have to do mental cartwheels to make any sense of what he's saying. This type of character may suffer from a mental illness that causes him to jump around a lot in his speech. Those with attention deficit disorder often use sentence fragments as do geniuses in social settings. This could be a character on drugs or alcohol, just saying whatever comes into his mind at any moment. Those who find themselves in a state of terror can begin to speak like this.

This character may complete a thought but then make a gigantic leap to the next subject without waiting for a response. This is what marks the nonsensical speaker. He's simply all over the map in conversation. He's disconnected from himself and his own thoughts and isn't often tuned in to those around him, at least not in a rational way. So you want to show his disjointed thoughts by showing his disjointed speech.

"I'll see if Richard, you know, I was thinking that you and I should hook up—I wonder if Richard's even here, I'm going to the store and, hey, he might need something." This character simply changes frequency more often than the other characters may be able to keep up with her. You might want to use this character to keep all of the other characters in the story a little off balance. She comes in handy when the other characters are trying to accomplish something verbally. She may interrupt and take everyone in a completely new direction in which they had no intention of going. Once there, the channel changer is probably either on to a new subject or out of the room altogether.

the dialect

This is one of the most difficult types of speech to do well just because if you use too much of it for any one character, the reader finds it tough going as far as getting through the story. And if it's a novel, it's a lot of pages of dialect. Every once in a while the author gets away with it, of course. Alice Walker's
The Color Purple
is an example of a dialect we all put up with because the story was so compelling. But I wouldn't try that if I were you, unless you have an equally compelling story. And there hasn't been a
The Color Purple
since, well,
The Color Purple.

The best way to handle dialect is to just sprinkle a few words of the foreign language or slang into the dialogue here and there. For example, if it's hip-hop, you can throw a "yo" into the dialogue once in a while to characterize the speaker and make the dialect sound authentic. But you don't want to write the dialogue exactly like a hip-hopper would talk, as it just becomes too tedious to read.

"Yo, let me see if my man, Richard, needs anything at the store." Sometimes dialect requires that the writer change the spelling of words here and there to show the character's nationality and/or background. Again, don't go overboard with this in the dialogue, just a subtle change of spelling once in awhile will remind the reader of this character's background.

the cannon

In John Irving's novel A
Prayer for Owen Meany,
I would call the protagonist a cannon because of the loudness of his speech.

"DO YOU THINK I CARE WHATTHEY DO TO ME? "he shouted; he stamped his little foot on the drive-shaft hump. "DO YOU THINK I CARE IF THEY START AN AVALANCHE WITH ME?" he screamed. "WHEN DO I GET TO GO ANYWHERE? IF I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL OR TO CHURCH OR TO EIGHTY FRONT STREET, I'D NEVER GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he cried. "IF YOUR MOTHER DIDN'TTAKE ME TO THE BEACH, I'D NEVER GET OUT OF TOWN. AND I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE MOUNTAINS," he said. "I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A TRAIN! DON'TYOU THINK I MIGHT LIKE GOING ON A TRAIN-TO THE MOUNTAINS?" he yelled. .

And this is the way Irving indicates it—in all caps. It's very effective, and not annoying for the reader, as unlike dialect, the words are all easily pronounced— they're just loud. What a delightful characterization device that immediately signals to the reader when Owen is speaking.

"LET ME SEE IF RICHARD NEEDS ANYTHING ATTHE STORE."

the switchblade

"Let me see if that punk, Richard, needs anything at the store." This character might punch Richard on the shoulder as he asks him this question. He's a tough guy and his voice reflects that. He likes the power he has over others and knows how to use it, physically and in conversation.

Thinking from inside of this character means putting on a tough-guy persona and talking out of that to the other characters. His voice has an edge to it. He needs to be the one in charge at all times, and so much of his speech consists of directives, telling others what to do and how to do it. This is his goal, what he sees as his purpose when relating to others. Sometimes a switchblade's toughness expresses itself more indirectly, and that can be effective, too. In the book
Scene & Structure,
Jack Bickham offers a tip about this that is especially helpful if the switchblade happens to be the antagonist, and he usually is:

Don't hesitate to use dialogue at cross-purposes once in a while as a scene-building device. Such dialogue can be defined as story conversation in which the conflict is not overt, but where the antagonist either doesn't understand what's really at issue, or is purposely nonresponsive to what the lead character keeps trying to talk about. Dialogue at cross-purposes, or nonresponsive behavior by an antagonist, will be experienced by both the lead character and the reader as conflictual. After all, in such a situation the lead character feels thwarted in some way, and so struggles harder. If the opposing character does not start responding quite directly, the viewpoint character will fight harder.

You can probably think of some ways of speaking that we haven't covered in this chapter. That's okay. Be creative and consider how you might show a particular speech pattern without overwhelming the reader or having it come off corny. Giving your character a particular manner of speech can go a long way in characterizing him and helping your reader recognize him when he appears onstage. It distinguishes him from the other characters, setting him apart. If you have a specific role for a character to play and need to set him apart, then consider giving him a distinct speech pattern.

In the next chapter, we'll be discussing some practical ways to make sure your dialogue continues to do the job it's meant to do—grab the reader and keep her attention.

The most important thing to remember about dialogue quirks is that they must relate to the story's theme and be connected to the character's is motivation. Using the following story situations, write a one- to two-page scene of dialogue for each quirk, showing how the dialogue relates to the story's theme and motivation.

• The twisted tongue—a male character wanting to succeed at his new telemarketing job

• The rocket—a female character teaching a class at a senior center

• The turtle—a male character on a fast-paced game show

• The baby doll—a female character waiting to be taken seriously as she's buying a new car

• The bass drum — a short, male character at a speed-dating event in a restaurant

• The calculator—a female character being interrupted by her boss after money is missing from the till

• The ace—a male character on his first real date

• The apologizer—a female character being asked the time on a downtown street

• The shield — a male character in the emergency room after slicing his thumb open

• The channel changer—a female character trying to talk her way out of a speeding ticket

• The dialect—an older male beatnik/hippie at his daughter's wedding

• The cannon—a male character who doesn't understand the concept of whispering in his new girlfriend's church for the first time

• The switchblade—a male character stopping to help a woman whose puppy has just been hit by a car