Did You Read That Review ? (22 page)

4.4 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages

ASIN:
     B000SSV8AA

Price:
     
$6.06

Ouch! That smarts! Treat your minor cuts, scrapes, and scratches with the incredible healing power of meat. And if a fancy bandage isn’t enough to dry up your tears, how about a FREE PRIZE? Each set comes in a 3¾-inch-tall metal pocket tin and contains a small trinket to help make even the ouchiest owies feel all better in no time. The 3-by-1-inch Bacon Strips are cut to look like small slabs of bacon. Fifteen per tin.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

381 of 385 people found the following review helpful

May Result in Cannibalism

By
CoolHand
, March 5, 2012

These bacon bandages are so realistic that they may cause secondary injuries. I applied a bacon bandage to a moderate cut on my left thumb and within 2 hours, 4 people attempted to bite me. These bites required more bacon bandages, which, in turn, were responsible for more bites. The amount of bites per bandage applied rose exponentially to the point where I may die from blood loss. I am in desperate need of some liver-and-onion bandages as these would be appealing only to geriatrics who would be easily fought off.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

Great on my boo-boo

By
Armando Kiyama “Mondo Photo”
, July 21, 2013

Neighborhood cats keep following me when I wear these; maybe they shouldn’t smell like bacon. These are the other white Band-Aid.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

It don’t get no better than this

By
Sir George Martini “Verbalosity”
, March 10, 2013

I’ve used bacon for bandages for years because of its medicinal qualities. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that it came as an adhesive bandage. Now I don’t have to worry about removing grease stains from my clothing.

3,988 of 4,026 people found the following review helpful

Bacon the most of it

By
George Takei
, July 21, 2013

Looking to add a little sizzle to your next flesh wound? Tired of the same boaring bandages? Not to pork fun at an injury, but nothing strips the pain away like meating friends out dressed like this. “That’s sow wrong, George!” they squeal. But fat chance they let such a pig idea go. In fact, they often rip it off quickly—after giving me the cold shoulder. Perhaps it’s time to climb out of this filthy pig pun. I can’t help it: I ham what I ham.

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3.1 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Sharp Provolone Piccante Cheese (Whole Wheel), Approximately 60 lb.

ASIN:
     B0029XZAUQ

Price:
     
$849.53

Description: CHEESE

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 31 people found the following review helpful

My plan is complete!

By
Simeon Lees
, January 13, 2013

I purchased this as the last part that I needed for my organic motherboard, which I’m using to power my time machine. First impressions: the packaging is great and probably justifies the cost in itself. It is indeed sharp, and I cut my finger while slotting it into place in the motherboard. I turned it on, and I have to say it works a treat; started spinning and powered the time machine with conviction unmatched by cheaper brands. One niggle is that after about 20 minutes of continuous use, it starts to overheat and becomes sticky and gives off quite a pungent smell which is especially overpowering in small rooms.

116 of 126 people found the following review helpful

Stay classy