Did You Read That Review ? (67 page)

I found this book under the floorboards of the house I am currently squatting in. I thought, “What could be the harm?” After all, there was nothing else in the house to read. I soon found myself needing to microwave food every time I ate. Oh sure, it starts simple enough; you boil some water in it or heat up your soup, but pretty soon you can’t even have a plain old apple without putting it on high for 1½ minutes. Last night I found myself microwaving my only friend. God help me.

25 of 29 people found the following review helpful

Now I can all enjoy life again

By
Jimmie “Jimmie”
, January 11, 2011

If you’ve ever wanted to impress your invisible friends and alternate personalities and show you all what a great cook they really are, then this is the book for you. Thank you, Sonia, for showing me all that life can indeed be enjoyed without any real sense of self-worth.

4.4 out of 5 stars

Name:
     
Accoutrements Pigeon Mask

ASIN:
     B00BBYGW2Y

Price:
     
$23.99

Wear this Pigeon Mask to sit on statues or beg for bread by a park bench. This latex mask is so amazingly realistic, your cat will think that one of its bird victims has risen from the grave to exact revenge. Buy a bunch so you and your friends can form your own flock. Fits most adult heads. Bagged with illustrated tag.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

Perfect for being anonymous

By
Mary
, September 22, 2013

Robbed a few banks with it so far; haven’t been caught yet. I like to coo at the tellers when I use this mask.

31 of 33 people found the following review helpful

My life is complete

By
Tiny Buffalo
, April 30, 2013

I do not remember opening the package when it arrived. My wife said once I wore the mask I was no more, only pigeon remained. Loud pigeon-like coos echo up and down the street; the neighborhood kids either laugh with joy or run in fear. The pigeon has improved my bowling game and even become lead singer in a band. Soon, he says he will rule the world!

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful

They have accepted me as their own

By
Matt W
, August 10, 2013

It is day 15, and the mother pigeon has finally accepted me as one of her own. They do not suspect a thing. Soon I shall be their leader. I will rise to power on the dawn of the great migration. I highly recommend this mask for casual users or professional impersonators like myself.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

Payback!

By
TCBAZ
, September 16, 2013

After seeing this on Amazon I began to planning how I could use this to pay back the world for all the rotten treatment I’ve received over the years. During an evening of heavy drinking, while wearing my Three Wolf Moon Shirt, it came to me in a vision. Soon I put my plan into action. By wearing the Pigeon Mask I could poop on the cars of enemies, real and perceived, and everyone would believe it was just a large, rat-like urban fowl. It worked great for several weeks as I ate extra fiber and only ventured out in the dark of the night. I can’t wait to use it again when I get out in 1 to 5 years!

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful

Really Works!

By
Major Bill
, August 19, 2013

Dudes, I have fooled SO MANY suckers into throwing tiny pieces of bread at me while wearing this mask! Order yours today.

3 of 7 people found the following review helpful

DO NOT WEAR AROUND BIRD DOGS!!

By
Bulldog
, August 24, 2013