Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (61 page)

When someone asks me, “What if you don’t want it there five years from now?” my attitude is, “What if I don’t want my kids five years from now?” I’ve made a commitment. Why wouldn’t I want it? I’ve made a decision. It grows with you. It’s a part of you. In [my] 36 years I have made numerous decisions, and I don’t have any major regrets about the decisions I’ve made in my life. I looked at all the options; I thought about almost nothing else for that period of time and looked at it every which way I could think of [and made my decision].

Wearing a piece of art appealed to me. It was an expression of being different, acknowledging the fact that I wanted it and that I was not afraid. I liked the idea that it would be there the rest of my life and that I chose to put it there. I have a number of beauty marks on my body. I’ve always accepted them. But the idea of choosing something that I would wear the rest of my life appealed to me.

My husband got excited and really got involved; [he] enjoyed the idea, so I decided to go with my first piece on the shoulder blade three years ago. The first piece is an open rose. It’s predominantly different shades of blue. The first [time], I was apprehensive, because I had never been in a tattoo parlor before. I had uncomfortable feelings about going [there]. I chose to have the individual who had the tattoo on his back go with me to have
somebody who could tell me what to expect. We went, and I brought home three different designs. [The Doctor] and I decided on the rose. Then I went back and had it done.

[The Doctor] was fascinated; he was excited by the entire experience. I know he liked that I was willing to take a certain amount of pain to put something on my body. [But] it was not exclusively for him. If I’d done it for him, it might not have been as positive. It was for me and for him; it was for us. [The pain] was not an issue for me. It was uncomfortable, but I didn’t feel like I had gone beyond my limit. It was less painful than I had expected it to be.

It [took] about two weeks for the tattoo to heal. During that period of time, after 10 years of marriage, I was the hottest thing on two legs again, which was a wonderful feeling. He followed me around the house; he was always nearby, touching, holding. It was wonderful.

I went for the second one alone. I never did that again. It was more painful; I had nothing to focus on. That’s the only time that I got up—the tattoo wasn’t done; it still needed a little bit more color—and said, “No. It’ll get done some other time.” It was not the most painful area to get done. I just wanted [The Doctor] with me. From then on, I would not go by myself.

I went through cycles of getting a tattoo every two to four weeks. As soon as one would heal, we’d start talking about the next one. The piece [on my back] started off as flowers—the rose, an orchid, a lotus, and a morning glory with graphics.

We [also] experimented with painless tattooing, and I had a [kitty] cat put on my bikini line. We did it with lidocaine. You don’t feel it going on, but when the [anesthesia] wears off, you’re suddenly aware you have a tattoo. It’s the only one that I have that I didn’t feel being put on.

I had a hip piece done on the right side. It’s [an] Aladdin’s lamp with smoke turning into the front of a horse. There’s a carp on my right breast. And then I had all the flowers connected with smoke and graphics. And bubbles. They wind around to a graphic piece on the bottom of my left buttock, and the smoke goes to a cauldron on the inner aspect of my left thigh. In shorts, you see two sources of smoke, basically, on the outer side of one thigh and the inner of the other. I got them all within nine months. I sound like I’m terribly tattooed, but I can go out and you wouldn’t see any of them. I can wear a sleeveless blouse; I can wear a scoop neck; I can wear anything except short shorts or a bathing suit.

I was not uncomfortable with [being nude for the tattoo]. I was aware that it turned [my husband] on, and I found that pleasant and somewhat exciting. In some ways, with him it’s more of a sense of pride. It’s not something I would have done if he hadn’t been there. But it’s a sharing of
me. I don’t know if it would have had a different effect if it had been a stranger. We were very good friends with the tattooist. I knew his children, his wife; we’d socialized. A lot of people find that very uncomfortable, [but] we’ve always socialized with my obstetrician, too.

The art of tattoos is sexy. They are beautiful pieces of art, and to me they are [permanent, aesthetic] accessories. Whether [I’m] wearing a backless dress or a formal gown, they add something. I think they’re also an expression of passion and strength that can be sensual and sexy. I may objectively fit more patterns than I care to admit to in terms of looking and playing the submissive, but there’s a strength and an amount of control [within me] that I insist on. The tattoos reflect that strength.

When I find a piece that I like, or I find a place that I want [tattooed], tattooing and the ensuing sexual energy in the household appeals to me. [The Doctor] definitely is going to get more. And I will probably get another one. There is an arm piece that I will eventually get. It will be a black graphic band around the upper aspect of my arm. I’ll probably have [The Doctor’s] name somewhere in it, not necessarily easily found, but definitely there. The question is when. It may be something I’ll do now. Or if for some reason I lose him, that will be the black arm band I will wear to show devotion for the rest of my life.

Seventeen

T
he body modification most likely to cause alarm in the mainstream observer—a piercing to genitalia or nipples—is also the most deliberately sensual form of body modification. These singular invasions of erogenous zones enhance the sensual pleasure both of the adorned and his or her beloved.

Tens of thousands of individuals have opted for this radical physical change, a change often invisible to any but the piercer’s intimate partners. Piercing fans range from new-wave neopunks to conservative businessmen.
Indeed, one of the people responsible for introducing exotic piercings to contemporary American culture was a self-made millionaire who helped develop Muzak.

In this chapter we examine the diversity of styles of piercings and other extreme invasions such as cutting, scarification, and branding. All the practices described in this chapter entail potential health risks. An expert must be consulted before any one is undertaken. We hear from Fakir Musafar on piercing and feature profiles of:

Piercing has no easily summarized, linear history. Acts of perforation, incision, cautery, insertion, and staining have been practiced by prehistoric and contemporary cultures alike. Perforations of the earlobe, the lip, the nose, and even the genitalia have been widely documented throughout the world. The history of each will be discussed below, according to type.

According to
RE/Search: Modern Primitives
, an exhaustive text on the subject, the “father of the modern rebirth of piercing” was Richard Symington, a millionaire who made a fortune from his role in the invention of Muzak. In the early 1970s Mr. Symington helped to organize a small but committed group of piercing enthusiasts. They included Fakir Musafar and Jim Ward, the
eminences grises
of piercing. Ward founded The Gauntlet, the country’s best-known piercing salon, and
Piercing Fans International Quarterly
, the premiere publication for piercers.

Few parts of the body cannot, at least theoretically, be pierced. A general rule of piercing, however, is that body protrusions are preferable to flat areas. When a ring is implanted in a flat surface of the body, the piercing heals
slowly, if at all. For example, we spoke with a man who designed a unique piercing for himself at the top of the nape of his neck. After nine months, the piercing was finally fully healed but was still too tender for erotic play.

Piercing must be performed under sterile conditions. A sterilized needle is used to penetrate the skin. The gauge of the needle usually depends on the density of the tissue to be pierced. The skin is clamped with forceps, and antibacterial agents are applied liberally. Some specialists mark the site with tattoo ink. Once the needle is pushed through the skin, jewelry of surgical steel or of another nonreactive metal is carefully placed in the hole.

Safety precautions cannot be overemphasized. Piercings and all such invasive modifications are wounds which may bleed and which are highly susceptible to infection. In addition, the procedures may result in nerve damage, tissue necrosis, or hemorrhage.

Different techniques and precautions apply to different areas of the body. Selecting the appropriate needle gauge is crucial.

Jewelry must be carefully matched to the type and location of the piercing. For example, earrings should not be worn anywhere else; custom jewelry for exotic piercings should be worn only in the piercings for which they were designed. Once the wound heals, piercers may elect to enlarge the size of the piercing, gradually introducing thicker-gauge jewelry.

Although the ultimate goal of an exotic piercing may be largely sexual, the actual procedures “are unlikely to be done in the context of any kind of sex or SM scene.”
²
Piercing is too sensitive a procedure to risk distractions.

The motivations for piercing are as eclectic as the piercers themselves.

There is general consensus, however, that piercings of the erogenous zones are done to enhance the sexual pleasure of piercees and their partners. Some women reported having more orgasms when making love to men adorned with penis piercings. Piercings of the female genitalia, meanwhile, may stimulate the clitoris when a woman walks or moves.

In the case of submissives, piercings to erogenous zones may also signify ownership by a dominant. Gold rings are particularly popular among D&Sers for whom a ring through flesh connotes erotic servitude. Rings may be tugged, turned, or otherwise manipulated to create intense stimulation. Chain or rope may be attached to control or restrain the submissive.

Aesthetic considerations also motivate piercers.