Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission (29 page)

Nonetheless, even the animal or the object wields its own power—if only in the sense that it is a source of fascination to the dominant. And some submissives see their roles as antic, purely pleasurable, alternate personae.

Depersonalization can also be degradation in its most literal sense: The person is degraded, his status diminished to a level that would be both
unthinkable and unacceptable were it real. The submissive revels in helplessness.

Depersonalization fantasies rarely involve direct erotic activity. They are based on head games; any activity that occurs is simply a means of reinforcing the scenario’s credibility.

Because depersonalization fantasies do not always require the submissive or dominant to be active at all (or even most) times, some couples extend the play over long periods of time (hours, or even days), taking breaks only to meet professional or social obligations. Their main thrill is psychological. Depersonalization is seldom foreplay, and sexual release rarely forms a part of these scenarios. Finally, depersonalization is usually only one of many fantasies acted out in a couple’s play: We do not know of anyone who consistently remains in these roles.

When the witch Circe transformed Ulysses’s crew into swine, it was an act of cruel degradation. Since Western culture places man at the pinnacle of the animal kingdom, animalistic behavior is, figuratively speaking, beneath us. Yet some submissives covet the opportunity to get feral. Bestial fantasies seem to
focus on one of three creatures: dog, pony, and worm (though undoubtedly other beasts lurk in other menageries). The dog’s slavish and submissive relationship to humans and its complete lack of privacy in the human domain may well explain the popularity of humiliating canine games.

The bestial fantasy is a sublime paradox: It is behavior utterly without civilization, since no animal, however tame, can be civilized. Thus, the creature is completely liberated from the rules and restrictions that constrain human behaviors. At the same time, the animal is a slave to the will of its master. The domesticated animal has no privacy and is subject to its owner’s whims. Bestialization, therefore, represents simultaneous emancipation (from one’s humanity) and subjugation (to a human’s will), a curious blend of anarchy and submission.

One of our interviewees suggested that some individuals equate being an animal with being lovable.

Bestial play comprises many of the same behaviors one might observe between real pet owners and their pets, but it does
not
involve any real animals. The submissive-as-dog also has numerous ways of expressing personality without leaving the fantasy role.

Second to dogs, ponies are favorite fantasy roles. The D&S community’s best-known animal impersonator is Danny the Wonder Pony, a performer in the New York area. Danny is a bit unusual in that he’s seized the reins.

A famous scandal revealed that the late Alfred Bloomingdale, the clothing mogul, hired women to perform as ponies and rode them, whipping their flanks. Ponygirls are a fixture of D&S pornography, although they seem to be slightly more of a British phenomenon than an American one. It is a rare ponygirl who can support the weight of a man, and this restricts most play to prancing and training. The ponyboy, however—and particularly Danny—can rise to weighty occasions. He reports that the ride is sensual for beast beneath and rider above.

For many who enjoy pretending to be animals, the accoutrements are intrinsically bound up in the fantasy.

And, finally, worms. We did not interview anyone who pursues this fantasy, but it is recorded. The behavior usually involves groveling and often verbal abuse. This scene is perhaps the most extreme and least politically correct of all besthlization fantasies. We quote one of the more remarkable
passages on the phenomenon, from a fictional dialogue between mistress and invertebrate,

Later in this passage, some confusion appears to arise between the man-as-worm and his organ, described as “sort of a worm on a worm.” Apparently, when a worm turns, its thoughts turn to extreme degradation.

We are all familiar with the cartoons in which presumably inanimate objects spring to life once the antiquarian has locked his shop door. In some D&S scenarios the reverse occurs: The very animate submissive may, at the dominant’s behest, become inanimate—an object or piece of furniture to be used or handled. This fantasy is not very common but is certainly known among D&Sers. To some extent, it has characteristics similar to other D&S activities, among them bondage and humiliation. Instead of being bound in place, however, the human object must hold still without the aid of restraints or supports. A variety of sensations may be introduced—such as tickling or rubbing—which may be exciting or humiliating. Throughout, the submissive has no choice but to remain the passive recipient.

The object is relieved of humanity; in the process, it becomes both helpless and helpful to its owner. It may also have another appeal to deeply submissive individuals: Typically, during D&S, the dominant devotes considerable energy to stimulating the submissive. Human furniture, however, is “maintenance-free.”

Object fantasies cover a wide range. Footstools or ottomans are fairly popular, particularly among those who also have a foot fetish. Tables, hat-stands, and ashtrays are known. Novelist Jerzy Kosinski is reputed to have crawled under the sofa pillows at a fashionable party so that guests would sit on him, supposedly as a prank. Many D&Sers, however, feel that object fantasies are too psychologically extreme to be enacted safely.

Institutional fantasies imitate the interaction between an indifferent or malicious authority inflicting unfair or dehumanizing punishment on an incapacitated or captive victim. Unlike many D&S scenes where the dominant may express affection or reassure the submissive, in these scenarios cuddling or emotional displays would destroy the illusion of victimization. Submissives also wish to feel that the punishment has been decided not by the individual dominant but by some higher authority—a prison system or medical science, for example—and that they are powerless in the face of this tyrannical system.

This category actually comprises a broad range of roleplaying—so broad, in fact, that we do not attempt to be comprehensive here. Specific activities depend on imaginary circumstances; elements of bondage, intense stimulation, head trips, and humiliation are most common. Fantasies range from the playful (the submissive who pretends to be a juvenile delinquent) to the very cruel (the submissive who wishes to roleplay as a political prisoner). Some jail fantasies involve little more than wearing shackles; others involve stringent corporal punishment.

When enacted by partners, this form of depersonalization often embraces the concept (which applies to other D&S acts, as well) of
consenting to nonconsensuality:
The submissive may propose the fantasy and negotiate
the activity, but part of the agreement may be that the authority figure will push the submissive’s limits. Because the authority is an agent of a larger system, the submissive has little hope of appeal. The scenario may also represent an opportunity for a high level of discomfort and dehumanization. For example, although some hospitalization scenarios are reminiscent of the type of investigative doctor-patient games that children play, many submissives (particularly men) fantasize about grimly elaborate scenarios that simulate a real hospital setting. The dominant may be uniformed as a nurse or a doctor (or a nun, for those whose tastes are catholic); this figure may bind the patient with hospital restraints, shave the submissive’s pubic region, administer enemas, introduce urinary catheters, or perform a host of other embarrassing or painful procedures.

Similarly, interrogation fantasies may range from moderate head games to extensive pain scenarios.