Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin (12 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Simone

 “Hey,” I greeted my
mother with a puzzled stare as I shut my bedroom door.  She was sitting at the
edge of my bed. “Is everything all right?” 

“Are you going to
tell me what’s going on between you two?” My mother asked without hesitation.
Walking towards the dresser, I tried to come up with the right words but
remained silent.

“Simone, talk to
me,” she said helplessly. “You never just talk to me.” Looking at her
distressed facial expression, I felt a twinge of guilt. But, in truth, how
could I really talk to her without mentioning our major blockage, Henry. He’s a
deleterious brute who continued to damage our relationship over the years.

“Mom, there is
nothing to talk about.”

Shaking her head,
my mother continued to stare at me with disbelief. “You’re not fooling me,
Simone. I see the way he looks at you. I see the way he looks at his daughters.
That man clearly loves you and the girls. I see how he interacts with them. I
see how he goes out of his way to make all three of them happy. And yet, you
ignore him. Why?”

“Mom,” I said as I
turned to face her. “Andriano was not supposed to find out about my daughters.
And now that he knows about them, he’s not going to just go away.”

“For five years,
you kept the girls a secret from him? Simone, how could you do that?” she asked
as she stared at me with disbelief.

“Excuse me?” I all
but shouted. “You are in no position to judge me. I did what I had to do to
protect my daughters.”

“Protect them from
what? Their father worships the ground that they walk on.”

Feeling tense, I
did not feel like I had to validate my reasons for keeping the girls away. But,
my mother only repeated the question.

“He’s in the
mafia,” I shouted.

 An awkward
silence filled the room before I finally broke the silence. “He wanted me to
have an abortion. And I was going to go through with it.

Sitting beside
her, I continued, “But when I heard their heartbeats, I knew that I couldn’t go
through with it. I couldn’t kill my babies. So, I made the only decision that
would guarantee the safety of my daughters…I left New York. I was determined to
raise my children on my own.”

Looking over at my
mother, I watched as she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand.
“Simone, I’m sorry. You needed me, and I was nowhere to be found.”

“But, you’re here
now. With Grandma sick, I don’t know how I would have gotten through all of
this by myself,” I said as I reached for her hand. “I’m just happy that you’re
here.”

Wrapping her arms
around me, my mother pulled me into a hug and said, “Me too.”  Releasing each
other, I proceeded to tell my mother everything that transpired between
Andriano and me five years ago. As she held my hand, I felt connected to her in
a way that I never felt before. The absence of my grandmother left a void in my
heart. Somehow, my mother filled that emptiness just by being my outlet.  

“What are you
going to do?” she asked.  

“Run.”

~****~

Simone

Hearing the cab
driver beeping his horn, I called out to my daughters, “Girls we’re leaving.” Dragging
the duffle bags closer to the door, I turned and took one final glance back at
the place I called home for the last five years. Clutching tighter to my bag, I
found comfort in knowing that I was making the right decision by leaving. All
three of my daughters came out of the den holding their favorite stuffed
animal. Looking down at my watch, it was now five minutes to eight and our bus
was set to leave at 10:30PM. Looking at all three of them, I felt guilty that I
was taking them away from everything that they knew.

“Ready?” I asked
as I managed to squeeze out a smile. Their head nods gave me the confirmation
that I needed. With Andriano gone, this was now my chance to relocate with my
daughters. I called my job earlier this morning and requested an extension in
my leave of absence. Assuming that this was because of my grandmother being in
the hospital, my supervisor granted my request. I bought four one-way bus
tickets to go to New Orleans. I emptied all of my accounts and knew that I had
enough money to hold us down for the next few months while I wrapped everything
up with Grandma and work.
Grandma
… I felt guilty for leaving her behind
but, this was the only chance that I had to get the girls away from Andriano.
My mother assured me that she would stay with Grandma and update me on her
progress.

“Are you sure that
you have to leave?” my mother asked as she leaned against the banister.

Turing to face
her, I exhaled before responding, “Mom we went over this. This is the only time
that we’ll be able to leave.”

“Maybe if we sat
down and spoke about it. He would understand,” my mother pleaded. 

“There is no
reasoning with him. Besides, I don’t want to go through this again,” I said
frustrated that she could not understand my reasons behind it. “I’ll call you
when I get there. Come on girls.”

Lifting the duffle
bags, I unlocked the door and twisted the knob. Dropping the bags at my feet, I
stared up at his austere grey eyes.

            “You’re back,” Acelia
said excitingly.  Pushing past me, she leaped into Andriano’s arms. Dropping
their toys, Jasmine and Olivia ran towards Andriano.

“Where are you
going?” he asked looking down at the girls, but directing the question at me.

“We were uh...going
to the store,” I responded as his eyes tore through my canard answer. The
girls’ whimsical voices were excited that he was back.

Closing the door
behind him, he asked, “At this time?”

He looked down at
the four duffle bags and dragged his eyes back up at me. Moving towards me, I
backed away from the door and stood in the center of the foyer.

“Hello Andriano,”
my mother said as she stepped in between us. Looking down at my mother,
Andriano nodded and stepped around her. Standing inches away from me,
Andriano’s displeasing eyes bored into me.

 Chapter Twenty-Six

Andriano

Eight
hours earlier

            “What are you going to do to avenge my parents’
death?” Josephine asked as she unzipped the side of her black dress. Allowing
her dress to pool around her feet, she stepped out of the ring and sat at her
vanity. Her shrewd eyes followed my every move as she awaited my response.

            “Don’t worry about it,” I said loosening my tie. 

         
A
few minutes passed by before she blurted, “They killed my father—a Don for
Christ sake.”

            “I don’t give a fuck about all of that. Your
father knew what it was in this line of business,” I responded.
The only
thing that I was angry about was not gutting the motherfucker myself
.

Shocked, she clamped her adjourned mouth
shut as she removed her diamond studded earrings. “Are you staying tonight?”
she managed to ask from her thin lips.

            “No,” I answered firmly.

            “Why not? When are you going to realize that your
place is home?” She roared as she rose from her seat like a possessed woman
with tattered emotions.

            The past few days were filled with anger. To
everyone else’s knowledge, my anger was a direct correlation to the murder of
Don Capparelli. Since being away from my
bella mia
and our daughters, I
couldn’t begin to comprehend the emotions that surfed throughout me.
In general, Italian families are overbearing. But,
being part of the Balducci family was downright suffocating. We’ve been
conditioned to believe in family, loyalty, and pride. Everything else, outside
of those three values, was deemed insignificant.
Somehow,
I never felt more at peace than when I was with
Simone and our daughters.
Even though my
bella mia
did everything to try and avoid me, I had to
remind her just who controlled her body. Making a vow to myself to reclaim the
treasure in between her thick thighs, I quickened my pace as I walked towards
the closet.

“Cut your shit out,” I replied coolly as I
entered my walk-in closet.

            Storming in behind me, an angry screech escaped
from her raging frame. “While we’re on the subject of our home, when are we
going to have children? My parents died before they could see that happen,” she
shouted.

           
Don’t say it Andriano,
said the little
voice in my head. But her next statement released the lid off my mouth, “You
could lay down with that black whore and impregnate her. Yet, me, your wife has
to beg for one.” Pausing briefly, she looked on in horror, as my eyes became
thin deadly slits. “That’s right, I know all about the abortion that you made
her have.”

“I’d rather pump my seed out into the toilet
bowl before I ever plant my child in you. You and your father knew that the
moment I signed the marriage certificate that you would never get a baby out of
me,” I retorted as I turned away from her in disgust. Reaching for my duffle
bag, I shoved what was left of my belongings into the bag.  

“You should count your blessings that she
killed the bastard or else I would’ve had her little bastard smothered while it
slept,” she spat out.

            Practicing my patience, I clenched my fist
tightly. Josephine knew how to push my buttons, and if I was not a real man, I
would’ve tortured her until she begged to be put out of her misery. Cracking my
neck, I flexed my shoulders left to right in circular motions. Turning slowly
to face her, I made quick and precise strides towards her shivering frame. She
backed up slowly until her back hit the wall with a slight thud. Her thin lips
formed an “O” as I hovered starkly over her. Seeing flashes of red, anger took
dominion over my body as it became evident that I was a step away from tapping
into my murderous side.

            “What the fuck did you say?” I asked, no longer
recognizing Josephine’s face. I don’t know how she found out about Simone and
our baby, but I was too incensed with rage to even ponder the thought any
further. 

            “I’m…I’m…I’m sorry Andriano,” Josephine stuttered
as she shook with fear. “Please Andriano…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by
it.” Punching the wall above her head, I watched as her face quivered with
fear. Clamping her eyes shut, Josephine’s shoulders slumped down as if she was
shriveling into the little mouse that she was.

            “You should be lucky that I don’t send you off to
reunite with your parents,” I shouted, before backing away from her. Standing a
few inches away from her, I warned, “Keep Simone out of your fucking mouth. If
you even so much as think about her, I’ll snap your fucking neck.”

            Grabbing the latches of my duffle bag, I lifted
the light bag and headed to the front door. Stopping at the entryway of the
door, I announced, “Sign the divorce papers when they arrive or else…”

~****~

North
Carolina

           
Why the hell is
there a cab in front of the house?
Maybe, Simone’s mother is leaving.

Walking up the
stairs, I felt relief because I was one step closer to feeling at peace again.
Opening the screen door, I was about to knock when the door opened. Seeing
Simone and the girls dressed as if they were heading out left me in a state of
confusion.
Where the hell could they possibly be going at 8 o'clock at
night?

           
Hugging all
three of my daughters, I walked inside and felt like my world was crashing
around me. Looking at the duffle bags, I knew that Simone was running. It was
like déjà vu all over again the moment I looked at the bags. Walking around her
mother, I moved closer to Simone and felt my rage boil over. This was not the
homecoming that I expected.

            “Come on girls, let’s
get ready for bed,” Simone’s mother had announced.

Walking up the stairs
with our daughters, I waited until they were out of earshot before I asked,
“Why are you running?”

Hearing the horn
beep again, I walked towards the door and nearly ripped it off of the hinges as
I made my way to the cab driver. Paying the man, I walked back into the house and
slammed the door. There was no way in hell that I was going to let Simone get
away with this. She looked defeated as she grabbed the duffle bags and started
to walk up the stairs. Moving towards her, I grabbed the duffle bags from her
hands and silently followed her up the stairs.

Once inside of her
bedroom, Simone tossed her purse on the bed and walked towards the bedroom
window. Wrapping her arms around her waist, Simone appeared to be stressed.  As
angry as she made me feel, all I wanted to do was show her how much I missed
her. The whole time that I was in New York, all I could do was think about
coming home to her and my daughters. Don Capparelli’s death did not faze me. I
wanted to kill that cocksucker myself, but decided that killing him would be
too easy. So I stripped him of his resources and monopolized all of his
businesses, including his underground side hustles in Italy. Battista
controlled those businesses, and I made sure that he took a higher percentage
before giving a percentage of the funds to the family. I knew that it nearly
crippled him, but old mob bosses like him rarely showed their feelings. He was
old school like my father, so I knew how he was going to move. What he did not
know was that I was always one step ahead of him. Blocking off all possible
pathways, I made it my mission to destroy this piece of shit.    

Moving towards Simone,
I leaned against the wall and watched as her eyes remained fixed on everything
outside of the window.  Sighing, I finally spoke. “I don’t think that I’ll ever
forgive myself for telling you to get an abortion. Every time I look down at my
daughters—” stopping midsentence, I shook my head at the thought of Simone
actually going through with the abortion. “I can’t help but, feel guilty that I
believed that an abortion was the only option for us.”

“For years, I went
through dark periods and moments when I felt that my soul was gone. I knew that
my happiness walked away the moment I left the parking lot. But, I didn’t
expect my soul to walk away too.”

Moving away from
the window, Simone turned to face me before saying, “I remember waking up that
day feeling horrible. I tried everything to ignore my feelings and convince
myself that I was doing the right thing,” she paused briefly as her eyes
closed. The pain etched out on her face was the same pain that I felt in my
heart. Opening her eyes again a few seconds later, she continued, “Everything
around me seemed to fade away into a cloud of darkness, as I looked at the ultrasound
monitor. I became temporarily deaf to all sounds except for my babies’
heartbeats.”

Crossing her arms
against her chest, Simone moved towards the dresser and tilted her head back
slightly. Taking two steps towards her, I saw her shoulders become tense.
Balling my hands into fists, I felt defeated because no one caused her this
pain but me. I wanted to reach for her, hold her, kiss away the pain. But,
reality settled in, and I knew that at this moment she needed to make me feel
every ounce of pain that I caused. So I waited—waited until she said everything
that needed to be said.

 Relaxing her
shoulders, she said, “I don’t know how I was able to hear each one
distinctively, but I did. Each of their heartbeats had perfectly matched my
heartbeat in a synchronized rhythm that only we could hear.”

Turning around to
face me, she leaned against the windowsill. The hint of vulnerability that hid
in the shadows of her eyes wrestled with the idea of letting go. Blinking her
eyes, once more, clarity took control over the depths of her convictions.

Blinking away the
tears that threatened to escape her eyes, she tightened her crossed arms and
looked away from me. Sighing, she said, “Everything that I do is for them to be
better than me when they get older. I don’t want them to make the same mistakes
that I made. I want them to have everything.”

After a few
minutes went by, she continued. “But, I knew that as they got older, there
would be more questions. Questions about why they don’t have a dad.” Just as
the first set of tears slipped out of her eyes, my arms were wrapped around
her; shielding her trembling body. Dropping kisses on her head, I continued to
hold her as her cries became more intemperate.

“I’m sorry. God
knows how truly sorry I am,” I said truthfully as both of my hands cupped her
face. “I never felt so scared until you told me that you were pregnant. I
couldn’t live with the thought that you and our child were going to get—”
Stopping mid-sentence, I remembered my oath, my vow to continue to practice
omerta. Besides, she did not need to be alarmed any further. 

“If you knew that
you and Josephine were going to get married, why did you come after me? Why
didn’t you just stay away?” She asked as she moved her face away from my hands.
Reaching for her arm, I held her firm enough to abandon the thought of walking
away from me.

“I couldn’t stay
away from you back then.”

“What the hell do
you mean, ‘you couldn’t stay away’?” she asked, yanking her arm away from me. Crossing
the opposite side of the bedroom, Simone leaned against the wall.

Moving starkly
towards her, she lifted her chin as if preparing to put up a fight. No matter
how much strength Simone has, she could not beat me. She couldn’t fight my
feelings for her and she damn sure could not fight the feelings that she has
for me. It's written all over her face. It is evident each time that I kiss
her.

Pinning her arms
over her head against the wall, I came deathly close to her face and said
through clenched teeth. “Because I’m fucking in love with you. I couldn’t stay
away back then, and I can’t stay away now. So it's fucking time that you stop
fighting your feelings. I’m not perfect, and I know that I fucked up, but I had
my reasons why I couldn’t be with you back then. I had my fucked up reasons why
I told you to get an abortion. And I will forever be grateful that you did not
go through with it.”

“I choose you. I
choose our daughters. I choose not to live the rest of my life miserable
because I’m not with the one woman who has my heart. I don’t care who I have to
fight and kill in order to be with you,
bella mia
. Just know that I will
be with you,” I said bluntly. She needed to know that no matter how hard she
fought me or who stood in my way, the ending results will still be the same.
Simone and I will be together.

Pressing my lips
against hers, I sucked out all of her apprehension and fight as she attempted
to move her lips away from me. Applying more pressure to her wrists, I pressed
my body against her and allowed her fight to evaporate as she melted her body
against mine. Releasing her wrists, she wrapped her arms around my neck and
kissed me with as much intensity as I was giving her.

Rubbing the palms
of her hands over my shoulder blades, I slid her dress over her hips while my
hands roamed over her thick thighs. Her plump bottom fell right into my hands
as I gripped her tender flesh. Feeling her chest rise and fall beneath me,
Simone’s breathing became shallower while she panted against my lips.

With hooded eyes,
I stared at her with wistful desires. Lifting her body up, Simone instantly
wrapped her legs around my waist. Holding her close, I kissed her again before
dragging our bodies to the nearest hard surface. Placing her gently onto the
bed, I released my hold and stood back to get an eyeful of the treasure between
her thighs. Her puffy nether lips were coated with a liquid film that begged to
be licked from corner to corner. Her haze was filled with a combinations of
questions and sexual need.