Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin (8 page)

Chapter Eighteen

Andriano

           
 Moving quickly to our daughter, Simone
and I stood before her tiny body before I swept her off of her feet. Trembling
in my arms, I held on tighter to my daughter as Simone reached for her hand.

            “I’ll take her,” Simone said as she reached for
her. Clinging snuggly to my chest, my little bambina used what little strength
that she had left remain in my arms.    

            “Where’s the bathroom?” I turned to Simone as I
walked towards the stairs.

            “Upstairs, first door to your left,” she replied
with apprehension in her tone. Taking two steps at a time, I entered the
spacious bathroom that clearly had the markings of all of our daughters. From
the pigmented shades of pink shower curtains to the individual baskets with
each of our daughters’ names on it, this bathroom was ultra-feminine. Pushing
the curtain to the side, Simone turned the shower faucet on as I sat on the
bathtub ledge. Balancing our daughter on my lap, I held her close and wished
that I could trade places with her. Looking up at Simone, she held a
compassionate and nurturing expression as she carefully took care of her.

            “Baby, you have to take a bath. You have to be mommy’s
big girl, okay?” Simone asked as she lathered soap onto a washcloth until it
became suds. 

Nodding her head weakly, Simone lifted our
daughter’s shirt off and over her head. Sliding her pants down her legs, Simone
lifted our daughter off of my lap and placed her in the warm water. Cleansing
her body, Simone tenderly showered our daughter despite her series of whimpers.

Kneeling in front of the tub, I held onto our
daughter’s hand to calm her whimpering. “Mommy’s almost done. Keep being a big
girl for me,” Simone whispered softly to our daughter.

Wrapping the towel around her, I held onto
her as Simone led me to their daughter’s bedroom. Observing the modest bedroom,
I looked at the furnishing that occupied the space. All three beds were aligned
and neatly made with different color bed settings. Stopping at the bed in the
center Simone pulled back the bedding and I laid her down. Walking towards the
dresser, Simone pulled out some clothes and rushed back to the bed. Dressing
her, Simone and I remained silent as we tended to our daughter.

Staring down at one of our most precious
creations, I couldn’t help but fall deeper in love with my
bella mia
.

As much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn’t
bring myself to do so. She gave me three beautiful girls that I fell in love
with the moment I saw them. They restored the innocence in me that I thought
was long gone. But like my
bella mia
, they instantly became my
weakness—the most intimate part of me that I valued more than my next breath.

 “I’ll be right back,” Simone said as she
ran out of the bedroom. Returning shortly after, she placed a pail with water
and soap on the side of the bed. Removing the pouch from under her arm, Simone
pulled out a thermometer and coached our daughter to slide the stick under her
tongue. After a minute or two passed, Simone silently read the thermometer.

 Unable to read Simone’s expression, I
became fearful of what the test revealed. “Does she have a temperature?” I
asked, harsher than I would’ve liked.

“No, she does not have a temperature.”

Exhaling, I was relieved to know that our
daughter was okay. Almost instantly, I reached for Simone’s hand and brought it
close to my lips before dropping kisses of appreciation against her skin.
Moving away from me, Simone pulled her hand out of my grasp. Standing up,
Simone crossed her arms and stared straight through me with her darkened eyes.
“You need to leave.”

Releasing our daughter’s hand, I stood up
and looked down at her face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

In a sick and twisted way, I was extremely
turned on by Simone’s assertiveness. Feeling my cock strain tightly against my
pants, I attempted to change the subject. “What are their names?”

“Why?” she asked, alarmed by my question.

“Because they’re my daughters.”

“You need to lea—” she began. A soft knock
on the door interrupted her next statement.

“Are you okay?” Simone’s mother asked as she
peeked her head into the room.

“Yes, I’m fine. We’re done here,” she said
dismissively before breaking our eye contact. 

~****~

Simone

After kicking the covers off of my legs for
the third time tonight, I dreadfully dragged my eyes towards my bedroom door.
I
still can’t believe that Andriano and I are under one roof, separated by a
door.
Despite threatening to call the police a few times, Andriano still
remained cool and firm. If it were not for my daughters, I would’ve gladly
allowed the police to haul his ass off of my property. But, the last thing that
I wanted to do was cause a spectacle that would have the neighbors talking
forever. The last thing that my daughters needed was to be awakened by the
police.

~****~

            Yawning, I couldn’t
believe that I was functioning despite spending the whole night in my
daughters’ bedroom. Positioning a chair to tilt under the doorknob and balance
on its back two legs, I watched the door the whole night while I sat and leaned
my back against the wall. Staring at the clock on their wall, I watched, as
1:00 AM became 6:30 AM. The moment 6:45 AM rolled around, I woke each of my
daughters up and hauled them into the bathroom with their clothes in my hands.
After, I took them into my bedroom and proceeded dress in my scrubs. Looking
over at their sleepy faces, I knew that they did not deserve any of this.
Walking down the stairs, I held on tight to my bag as I led them out the
backdoor of the kitchen. The last thing that I wanted to do was wake Andriano
up. Sleeping on the couch, Andriano propped himself to spend the night in my
home.

            Walking towards my car,
I dropped my bag as I saw Andriano leaning against the passenger door with his
arms crossed around his broad chest.

            “Andriano, I’m going to
be late for work. Can you please move?”

            “Why do you have Acelia
out of bed when she was sick last night? Where are you going?” He asked as his
eyes scanned over me curiously.

            Looking down at my
daughters, I knew that combating with Andriano was not the best move. Going
against my immediate reaction, I answered, “I have work this morning, and the
girls attend their summer program.”

“Come on girls,” I
said as I brought them to the driver side of my car and opened the back door.
Securing them inside of their booster seats, I closed the door and looked up at
Andriano’s penetrating stare. “Acelia is feeling better this morning. Wait—how
do you know her name?”

            Leaning against the
roof of my car, Andriano look like he could crush the car if he really wanted
to drop his weight. Without missing a beat, Andriano said, “I spent the entire
night going through the photo albums and reading your journal entries about
them.” “Damn it, Simone, I’m their father and I have a right to know about my
daughters. You took that away from me for the past five years.”

            “You had no right going
through my personal stuff. How dare you go through my drawers and read my
journal,” I all but shouted. 

Rubbing the flat
of his hand down his face, Andriano said, “For five years, I would drink myself
into a stupor, just so that I could forget about what I made you do that day.
Hell, I fucking struggled to sleep at night because you haunted my dreams. Being
away from you sent me over the edge, and I rather go crazy than to feel that
way again.”

            Feeling my eyes sting
from holding back my tears, I said, “My only concern is my daughters. And if
you have any ounce of decency in you, please just leave. Leave us alone.”

            Shaking his head,
Andriano replied, “I love you and my daughters too much to walk away.”

Chapter Nineteen

Simone

Sitting across
from Shannon in the staff lounge, I asked, “Hypothetically speaking, if I
wanted to file a petition to have a restraining order placed against a person,
how would I go about doing so?”

            Choking on her water,
Shannon grabbed a tissue from her lunch bag and dabbed the sides of her mouth
and chin dry. “Girl, what’s going on? Spill the tea.”

            Trying to hide all
signs of emotions, I threw a skeptical glance at Shannon before saying, “There
is nothing to spill Shannon. I just wanted to know because I have a friend who
is going through something right now.”

            Her eyes lingered over
me a few second longer than necessary before saying, “Well, your friend would
have to prove that she is being harassed or assaulted.”

            “What if children are
involved? Can it be extended to them as well since they are minors?” I asked.

            Shannon leaned forward
on her elbows and dropped her voice low before asking, “Are you sure this has
nothing to do with you?”

            “I’m sure Shannon,” I
answered quickly before repeating my earlier question.

            Leaning back in her
chair, Shannon began, “Your friend would have to go to Family Court. From
there, the court would issue a temporary order of protection for the children
while they start their investigation. But if this person is the biological
parent, the court could grant supervised visits while they proceed with the
investigation. This includes the Child Welfare System being involved in the
children’s lives and your friend’s life.”

            Feeling the color drain
from my skin, I started to feel nauseous. “How long does this generally take?”

Shaking her head,
Shannon huffed out her answer, “It could take six months to a year. It
definitely depends on the situation and how fast the courts move. Don’t get me
wrong; if you—I mean your friend can prove that this person is endangering the
welfare of your child, the court would have no problem making the order of
protection permanent. They would need to contact current and past employers and
would even go, as far as, searching through past records. If your friend has
any past incidents or criminal involvements, they’ll become the immediate
focus. This could prolong the process.” 

Rubbing my fingers
through my hair, I proceeded to massage my scalp to relieve the tension.
I
can’t expose my daughters to this madness,
I thought as I struggled to hold
back my tears.

“Simone, are you
sure that everything is okay? I have a lawyer who helped make sure that my
children’s father paid child support and lost his visitation rights. If you
want, I could give you his number.”

Nodding my head, I
broke a smile and said, “Thanks, Shannon, but that won’t be necessary. I’ll
pass the information along to my friend, and hopefully this matter will get
resolved. Standing up, I walked towards my locker and placed my lunch bag into
my small duffle bag.

Wiping away a
tear, I willed myself to remain strong like Grandma. Somehow…someway, I will
get Andriano away from my daughters.
 

~****~

Simone

Later
that night...

Between Grandma still being in a coma, Andriano
finding out about my daughters, and Acelia being sick, I felt more alone and
unsure about everything. What the hell am I going to do now? I couldn’t just
run away with my daughters and leave Grandma alone. After all that she did for
all of us, I refused to be a coward and run away again because of Andriano. Despite
all of my attempts to show him that he was unwelcomed in my home, he remained
passive and unreadable. He continued his mockery of being expressionless even
after I tossed the sheets and pillows at his feet. He remained quiet and
created a makeshift bed in the middle of the hallway.

“I leave the night-light on for my
daughters. Just in case they need to use the bathroom. If it’s too much for
you, you can always check into a hotel,” I said as I flicked the switch on the
plug-in night-light before turning to face him.

            He still remained silent as his eyes bored into
me intensely. A muscle bulged out on the side of his face, twitching
uncontrollably. Turning around, I quickly entered my bedroom and closed the
door before releasing the breath that was caught in my throat. Pressing my back
against the door, I attempted to regain my composure.

Caught up in a maze of raw emotions, I
thought that I got over Andriano’s deceit. How can I hate and love this man
after five years of being away from him? As much as I wanted to deny the
unnerving feeling that stirred within me, I struggled to shake the longing—the
passion that gripped my sex. Not even Andre could cause my skin to boil with a
heated fervor that became like a second layer of skin. I want him;
at least
,
I knew that much to be true.

            Huffing loudly, I swung my legs off of the bed
and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my kneecaps. Burying my face into the
palms of my hands, I inhaled and exhaled my frustration.
How am I going to
get this man out of my house?

            Standing up, I pulled my silk black robe off of
the bedpost and walked over to the door and gently turned the knob. The old
rickety door seemed to creak much louder than I intended as I slowly opened the
door wider. Stopping halfway, I slid my body sideways to leave my bedroom.
Looking down at his body, my eyes traveled to every part of his naked torso.
Even in the dimly lit hallway, I could see every bulging muscle and valley that
was encrypted into his body as if his muscles were a language of its own. His
toned arm draped over his face as his hand rested on his midsection. The thin
lavender sheet stopped below his naval, as one of his legs remained bent into
an upright position. Stepping over his body, I tiptoed past his sleeping form and
headed downstairs.
This man intended to be a pain my ass
, I thought as I
took a swig from my bottle of water. Looking out of the kitchen window, I became
lost in the deep shade of blue settling in the night sky.
Andriano has to
leave
.

            “Thank you for keeping our daughters.”

The fine hairs on the back of my neck stood
straight as strong, firm hands wrapped around my arms. Turning my body around,
Andriano’s hand palmed the right side of my cheek. Rendered speechless as his
other hand released my arm and dropped down to my waist, all of my thoughts
turned into mush. Clasping his thick long fingers around the side of my waist,
he leaned forward and captured my lips with one swooping motion before I could
search for the words to stop him. Somehow the ball of emotions—the rapture of
confusion in my heart evaporated the moment his lips found mine. Palming the
side of my face, Andriano tilted my head back only to satisfy his hungry tongue
the moment he slid in between the seam of my lips. Panting heavily against his assaulting
lips, I attempted to keep up with his vigor and aggression. His kiss deepened
with a sense of urgency, as his hands and body represented a control that he
intended to have over me. Pressing my body against the counter, Andriano’s
bottom half smashed against my abdomen, sending waves of liquid heat to my
pulsating sex. His hardness held me hostage as I felt him grow larger and
larger.

            But then I remembered the hurt…

            Flashbacks, remnants of the past, appeared
clearly causing me to relive each and every moment of our secret relationship—this
was how
he
got me the first time. Though my body yearned for his next
kiss and his fervent touch, I couldn’t allow
him
to take complete
control over me again. The engagement invitation that I saw on the day that I
was scheduled to get my abortion was real. He wanted me to kill our babies…
our
babies
…
our fucking creations
. He fed me lie after lie and even went
as far as to tell me that he loved me. What did he love? Did he even know how
to love? He was the one that wanted me to give him a chance, and I trusted him.
Each time that we made love, and he held me close in his arms, he promised to
take away all of my fears…take away all of the hurt that I endured at the hands
of my stepfather. Promises poured out of his mouth, and I foolishly drunk every
last drop of his lies. Five years ago, I was in love with this man… more like I
was in love all by myself.

Drowning in a sea of anguish, I struggled to
swim to the shore. Swim to safety. Swim away from the one man who scarred me
deep inside. He was the reason why I couldn’t love anyone else but him. Hurt
pierced through my soul as I fought back to hold the tears that misted my eyelids.
I don’t know how I could hate and love him so much. Perhaps, I never had a
chance to deal with my hurt; rather, I suppressed it with an overlapping amount
of responsibilities. And as I delved into our kiss, my anger took complete
control, as I became the aggressor.

           
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I
deepened the kiss by controlling the rhythm of our tongues. Licking each corner
of his mouth, I left no place unclaimed as I tugged on his bottom lip.

The scar of his kiss remained on my lips the
moment he finally freed me from his control. His hooded eyes were heavy and
filled with a primitive arousal as his heated fingertips gently gripped my
thighs. Feeling the coolness of the kitchen counter under my bottom, Andriano
nestled in between my legs, making me more aware of my need. Leaning forward,
Andriano fought to reclaim my lips.

         
“Bella
mia…” he whispered against my lips, “You’ll always be mine.” Cupping my fervent
sex, Andriano’s fingers began to travel along the lining of my shorts.

            “Andriano, please,” I begged against his yearning
lips. Resting my hand against his chest, I felt the vibration of his heartbeat
pounding against my fingertips in a slow rhythmic motion. Dropping light kisses
against my chin, Andriano’s hands roamed up my waist to slide my body forward.
A moan escaped my lips as he lifted my body up. With quick precision, Andriano
wiped the contents off of the counter and laid my back against the wooden
surface.

Wrapping his fingers around the straps, he
untied my robe and revealed my mix-matched pajama shorts and spaghetti strap
shirt. Yanking the shorts down my waist, he tossed the garment over his
shoulder. Reaching for the straps on my shirt, he ripped the top straight down
the middle effortlessly.  His lust-driven eyes roamed over my body. Ever since
I had the girls, I was shapely with bigger breasts, thicker thighs, and wider
hips. I was slightly bigger than I was five years ago with stretch marks left
on my body from carrying my daughters.

Dropping tender kisses, his lips lurked over
each part of my body as if he was somehow appreciating all of the changes,
leaving no room for me to feel self-conscious. He paused briefly as he focused
his attention on the incision scar that was left from my caesarean delivery.
His index and middle fingers grazed over the scar before he leaned forward and
dropped a kiss. The instant shock zapped me back to my correct senses. Lifting
my body up, I attempted to back away in order to place some form of distance
between us. Just enough space so that I could gather my thoughts.

            “Goddamn, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he said
huskily as his soft fingertips slid slowly down my parted lips. A single tear
escaped the threshold of my eyelids, and that’s when I knew that I was not
ready to face the hurt. “This is a mistake.”

            Looping each of my thighs over his arms, he
jerked me forward, causing my back to hit the counter again. Prying my legs to
open wider with his muscular, wide shoulders, his lips dropped down to my scar,
causing another tear to slide down my cheek. Trying to push his head away, I
couldn’t contain the emotional barriers that crumpled as he kissed my scar
tenderly over and over again.

Grabbing a fistful of his hair, I allowed
the tears to flow freely, as I repeatedly said through clenched teeth, “I hate
you.”