Dipping Into Sin 2: Digging Deeper Into Sin (4 page)

Chapter Six

Simone

One more hour and I’m finally out of
here.
Throughout most of my shift, my mind replayed the exchange between
Andriano and me. He had the audacity to confront me at my job. I guess, I
should be happy that he came to my job as opposed to confronting me at my
house. Chuckling, I couldn’t believe that he still thought that he could charm
his way back into my life. Not this time. Not ever. I must admit, though, I was
taken aback by his silence. He practically made no effort to try to persuade
me. Maybe, now he’ll move on and go back to his wife. 

“Oh…um, excuse me. I’m sorry,” said one of
the three men that walked off of the elevator. Each held onto a large bouquet
of deep red roses that was each wrapped in a white cloth. The roses gave off a
strong refreshing scent that absorbed the unpleasant smell in this unit.
Everyone, including me, looked at the beautiful long stemmed roses with open
curiosity.   

“Damn, someone’s in love,” whispered
Shannon, as she stood beside me. Looking over at the desk, one of the men spoke
with the head nurse, Linda. Looking past the young man’s shoulder, Linda’s eyes
peeked over her pink cat-eye reading glasses—searching. As her shrewd brown
eyes landed in my direction, she placed her index finger on the bridge of her
glasses and slid it up her snub-nose.

No
, this motherfu—

“Simone,” Linda’s nasally voice called out
to me. With each dreadful step that I took, the potent smell of the roses
invaded my nostrils with the most pleasant fragrance.

“Yes, Linda?” I asked, in my best attempt to
seem confused.

“These roses are for you,” she said
displeased—handing me the card in the process. Sliding the card into my scrub
pocket, I looked over the arrangement of roses.    

“Where can we put these, Miss?” asked one of
the young men holding two bouquets in his hand.

“I’ll take them from you,” I said, looking
at Linda apologetically. As each of the men handed me the bouquet, I became
overwhelmed with the amount of roses that I received.

“Linda, can I please take my 15 now?” I
asked, pressing my luck as her patience decreased before my eyes. Her perched
lips tightened, causing the brim of lips to become thinner. Furrowed lines
appeared all over her forehead, as she nodded her head curtly. Stretching my
neck, I looked over the pile of bouquets, as I hastily walked toward the
employee lounge. Dropping the flowers on the empty table, I pulled out the card
and read the note:
Bella Mia

“Seriously?” I asked aloud, to no one in
particular. Exhaling a frustrated breath, I crumpled up the card and tossed it
in the nearby trashcan.

Bursting through the doors, Shannon walked
inside grinning from ear-to-ear. “Girl, you better not hold out on me,” she
said immediately in a raspy voice.

“Trust me, I’m not. He’s nobody important,”
I said nonchalantly while considering my next steps.
I should really get a
restraining order.

“Simone, no man is going to send a woman all
of these roses if he wasn’t trying to convince her how important she is to him.
I mean—look at these roses. They’re beautiful. He’s definitely trying to get
your attention,” she said, picking up one of the bouquets. 

“You don’t even know the half of it,” I
mumbled as I gathered the roses again—this time in a messy bunch. “Either way,
I’m not interested. Can you help me take these roses up to the hospice unit?” I
asked.

“You’re not even right Simone,” Shannon
gasped, as her eyes widened with disbelief.

After placing a few roses from each bouquet
in the patients’ rooms, Shannon and I took the elevator back down to our unit.
The remainder of my shift was filled with looks of admiration, curiosity, and
downright jealousy from some of the staff. As I walked to the elevator, Dr.
Stuart Jackson quickly ended his conversation and pressed the elevator button
while eyeing me.

“I thought that you were not ready to date,”
he said the moment the doors opened to reveal an empty elevator.

“Excuse me?” I asked, looking up at his
handsome stance. His dark brown eyes contrasted against his light complexion.
Everything about his appearance screamed out danger. His suaveness broke the
hearts of a few nurses in my unit. All of that was the very reason why he was a
complete turn-off.

“A few of the nurses mentioned that some
nurse’s boyfriend sent her roses this morning. Imagine my surprise when I found
out that it was you.”

Ignoring his statement, I watched as the
numbers on the digital screen go down.   

“I see that I’m not the only man who is
trying to get your attention. I guess I’ll have to try harder,” He commented, as
the elevator came to a complete stop on the third floor. Walking away from him,
I marched straight to the female employee locker room and scanned my card to
enter.

Gathering my things from my locker, I became
increasingly annoyed by the chain of events. Then having to deal with Dr.
Jackson’s constant flirtation was enough of a reason to appreciate the next two
days of freedom from work. As I strolled closer to my car, the object poking
out of the windshield caused my breathing to hasten. A long stemmed rose with a
card securely attached was perfectly laid under the windshield wiper. Grabbing
a hold of the rose and card, I quickly unlocked my car door. For a moment, I
sat in silence as I inhaled the rich scent of the rose. Brushing my fingers
over the beautiful shrub, a petal dropped from the bunch. Drawing the pedal into
my hands, my fingers began rubbing over the soft silkiness. Looking down at the
card, I lifted the folded flap and read the letter.

101
roses symbolizes that you are

my
one and only

I
vow to always love you to the end of time.

I
promise to never give up fighting for us

But,
I understand that I have to

prove
my love is true.

For
however long it will take

I
will continue to fight for

you.

-A.

            “What am I going to do?” I asked out loud.
Andriano cannot find out about my daughters.

Chapter Seven

Simone

            I couldn’t get through the week quick enough.
Each day, I dreaded the possibility of Andriano coming to our home. So much so,
I spent the first two days locked up in the house with my daughters. We even
missed the first day of their swimming lessons because of my fear of Andriano learning
about them. I went through little drills of where my daughters would go if
Andriano decided to come to my house. Finalizing the details, I decided that my
daughters would hide in my bedroom upstairs.

Raising suspicion, my grandmother couldn’t
understand why I was on edge and elected to stay home. After much
contemplation, I finally found the courage to tell my grandmother the truth...the
whole truth. I could not afford to conceal not one stitch of information from
her, especially when hiding my daughters’ identities was my only concern.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence for a
moment, before she said, “A mother will do anything to protect her child.”
Exhaling, I started to breathe a little easier, knowing that Grandma understood
my reasoning.

“Great, so we’re leaving tonight. I have
enough money—”  

“But, you have to understand, he has every
right to know about his children,” she said cutting me off midsentence.

Frustrated, I tossed both of my hands up in
the air. “I can’t Grandma. This man is involved with the wrong people—dangerous
people. On top of that, he’s married and probably has a family of his own,” I
explained.

“Those girls are his family too. His wife
doesn’t have anything to do with him being a father to those girls.”

“Look at me,” Grandma began. Chewing on my
bottom lip, I reluctantly dragged my eyes to look up at her. “They’re only
getting older and there is only so much that you can do. Let this man make his
choice. If he wants to be a father to them, then let him. If he doesn’t, then
it is his loss.”

“He did make his choice, the moment when he
wanted me to terminate my pregnancy. He made his choice and I made mine. He
doesn’t deserve to have anything to do with them,” I all but shouted.

“Baby, that was five years ago. Now, I’m not
going to say that I agree with the man. But, I do believe that when the time
comes, you will have to give him that option now that the girls are here.”

As much as I hated to admit it, she was
right. But, I’m not ready and I don’t know if I’ll ever be.

~****~

Once the week passed, I assumed that
Andriano had taken my silence as an answer to his pursuit. I prayed that his conscience
had convinced him to go back to his wife. A sense of normalcy returned, as I
went back to my routine of going to work, dodging Dr. Jackson, and taking care
of my daughters. Hell, I figured that the truth could remain hidden. After all,
the truth had been hidden for the past five years.

Placing each of them into their booster
seat, I tossed their bags into the trunk. Adjusting my rearview mirrors, I carefully
searched for anything out of the ordinary on my block. Once I was in the clear,
my eyes rested on my daughters.

Today was our first day of
Mommy & Me
swimming lessons. If I had known that trying to get a bathing suit on three
little girls was going to be a project, I would have opted to wait until they
were teenagers for them to learn how to swim. Between Jasmine and Olivia, I
wanted to pull my hair out because they wanted a different kind of bathing suit.
Then, it was a process to get all three of them to wear the swimmer’s cap,
goggles, swimming shoes, and the swimming armbands. When I managed to finally get
them out of the locker room and into the swimming pool for toddlers, Acelia
became scared of the water.   

“Mommy, look at me!” Jasmine proudly
squealed, as she held her nose and dipped her head underwater. Even though we
missed the first day of swimming class last Saturday, the handsome swimming
instructor did everything to get the girls assimilated.

“Great job Jazzy,” I said as I gave her two
thumbs up.

“Why don’t you stick your feet in the water
CeCe?” I asked Acelia as I held her hand.

“Come CeCe, hold my hand,” said Olivia as
she hopped out of the pool and stretched her hand out to Acelia. Although
Olivia was smaller than her two sisters, she was the most fearless and
protective. She protected both of her sisters and seemed to act like the oldest
most of the time. Helping Acelia walk from the bench and closer to the swimming
pool, Olivia demonstrated a little technique to Acelia.

“Good job Livy, I’m proud of you. Go
practice with Jazzy,” I said as I pointed in Jasmine’s direction. Jasmine was
the little social butterfly and seemed to make friends wherever she went. She
was overly friendly and forthcoming, especially when she met strangers.

“CeCe, I’m going to sit right here and stick
my feet in the water. Why don’t you keep Mommy company?” I said, with my best
effort to convince her to at least stick her feet into the water.

“Okay Mommy,” said Acelia, my shiest
daughter. She was more introverted and stayed in her comfort zone as opposed to
taking risks like her sisters. Holding her hand, I counted to three and told
her one foot first. Getting past that hurdle, Acelia put her other foot in the
water and held my hand tightly.

“You see, there’s nothing to be afraid of,”
I said to Acelia as she nodded her head slowly.

“You must be Acelia, right?” said Andre, the
swimming instructor, as he stood in front of me. His bare chest drew me in, as
I became lost in his chiseled torso covered in the darkest shade of chocolate.  

Acelia bashfully hid her face behind my arm,
causing Andre to chuckle and say, “You’re too beautiful to hide your face.” His
eyes rested on mine as he made his statement.

Breaking eye contact, I looked down at Acelia
before I scanned the pool to look for Jasmine and
Olivia
.

“I’m Andre Connolly, and you must be Mrs.
Sinn,” he said stretching his hand out.

Looking back at him, I shook his hand and
said, “Nice to meet you.”

Still holding my hand hostage, he continued
smiling and revealed his deep dimples. His glinting eyes were just as dark as
his skin, causing me to further appreciate his ultra-sex appeal.  

Pulling my hand back slyly, I asked, “Do you
have any advice on how to get a first-time swimmer to face their fears?”

“Just dive in,” he began, as I thoroughly
examined the water dripping down his toned shoulder blades. His face was
sculpted to perfection, resembling a leading warrior. “Sometimes, you just have
to take a chance and allow your body to receive the pleasure that it’s been
missing,” he said.

Sensing more meaning behind his statement, I
focused my attention on my other two daughters. For five years, I isolated
myself from having a social life because my personal life was my primary focus.
There was no room for complications because raising my daughters and completing
my education filled up every crevice of my time. But, that still did not curb
the growing appetite for affection that only a man could give. Now with
Andriano gone, I was ready to burn that book and start writing a new one.

Chapter Eight

Josephine

            Walking out of the dankly doors of the apartment
building in Park Slope, I couldn’t believe that I spent the day searching for
answers. This was his third mistress’s apartment, and I was more than sure that
she had heard from him—or at least I thought. Each one swore that they had not
heard from Andriano in over a month. They each seemed disturbed, as if somehow
the fate of their lifestyle lay in my hands the moment they opened the door.
Rebecca, Angela, and Liana had no idea that I knew about them all along. I knew
their routines, what they looked like, where they shopped, and what days of the
week he visited them. He never spent the night, and he only saw each of them
twice a week for two hours the most.

Since leaving over two weeks ago, Andriano
neglected to call or even send me a text. Even though we barely spoke, I felt a
sense of comfort in knowing his movements. For the past year, I watched his
patterns and searched for any potential threat that might ruin our
arrangement…again. He shuffled through women like they were accessories. Once
he grew bored or tired, he switched them like the seasons. I was content with
the idea that none of them held his attention. God knows I can’t allow him to
become distracted like last time. Andriano forgot his responsibilities all
because of one person…Simone. When I received pictures of her walking out of
her waitressing job five years ago, I couldn’t understand why Andriano was so
taken with her. I didn’t think much about it because let’s be realistic, she
was not me. She was not from our world. One thing was for sure; I knew that I
needed to eliminate the threat. Simone will never know just how close she was
to dying, had she not taken her claws out of Andriano. Their fling had ended so
abruptly that I was still unsure as to who left who. Seeing Andriano drop down
on one knee before everyone, I forgot everything that occurred a few months
before.

            We are who we are; living in a conditioned life
destined to repeat itself like an endless pattern in the generations to come.
Love had no place in a marriage like ours because it distracted us from
attaining the most important thing in this world…power.

There was a change in him that was all too
surreal, a dwindling characteristic that lurked beneath the layers of Andriano.
The last time that he became distracted from fulfilling his duty was two nights
before our engagement party. As I went over the last few details for our
engagement party with the event planner, Andriano sent me a text calling our
engagement off. He gave no explanation behind his sudden change of plans.
Shaking with anger, I stormed out of our living room and ran towards my
father’s office.

“Papà!” I shouted as I burst through his
office doors. Looking up from his papers, my father, Don Capparelli leaned back
in his chair.  

“Did you know about this?” I asked as I
strolled closer to his desk. His short arm reached for the box near his picture
frames withdrawing his favorite cigar, an Oliva Melanio Torpedo straight from
Nicaragua.

“Know what?”

“Andriano called off our engagement.”

Lighting the long and thick brown stick, he
rested his back against his chair again. Drawing in a hearty pull, he waited a
few seconds before blowing out the cloudy smoke.
He’s pissed.

“Giuseppina,” he said my name calmly in
Italian. Besides my father, everyone pronounced my name the American way,
Josephine. “Don’t worry my princess. Andriano will come to his senses,” he assured.

“Papà, he’s been acting different since I’ve
been in Milan. I heard that he has been running around with this black girl.
I’m sure that she is the cause of all of this.”

“Okay,” he said, unbothered by the news of
Andriano’s deceit.
Did he know about that black bitch and Andriano?

“I need her gone.”

“She’s friends with Donald Spillmore’s daughter,”
I said all too quickly. I wanted to ensure that my problem was going to be
solved.
The bitch has to die.

Exhaling another layer of cloudy smoke, he
said, “Giuseppina, don’t worry about anything.”   

Two days later, Simone was a distant memory
and Andriano dropped down on one knee and proposed to me in front of our guests.
I was the envy of every woman, as I walked alongside of the most powerful man in
the world, Andriano. He even insisted on us getting married right away. Instead
of protesting, I complied and managed to pull off the wedding of the century in
five months. But, something in Andriano had changed. His cold demeanor was more
ruthless and vile with the months leading up to our wedding day. He had snapped.
Many thought that it probably stemmed from the death of his father. But, I knew
differently. He was angry, and his rage had reached another level of enmity as
he spewed out venom to everyone around him. He had reorganized everything, and
many people were outraged. Things were different, and we all had to get used to
the new Andriano.   

During the first year of marriage, I
remembered feeling like a stranger as I rarely saw Andriano. He spent many
nights away from our bed; which I deemed to be a result of him missing
her
.
When he did come home on those rare occasions, he wouldn’t even touch me, much
less, talk to me. That filthy animal—that piece of tar, swept through like a
tornado and completely left me with an estranged Andriano. Though, I should have
been elated that
her
absence enabled Andriano to be the leader that he
was always destined to be. In the end, I was content with that aspect of our
marriage. For the first two years of our sexless marriage, I contemplated
disclosing that detail with everyone.

But, when I couldn’t deal with the prospects
of my marriage continuing in that direction, I nagged my father to talk to
Andriano about the importance of producing future sons to take over the reins
of La Cosa Nostra. Things only became worst, and I only became increasingly
alarmed. My hope of having children with Andriano diminished as each year of
marriage passed. It was hard to explain to my family and friends that my
husband did not want to sleep with me. I tried everything to convince him to
view
me
as more worthy than
her
. Yet, his dispassionate eyes
would remain fixed on everything else but me. His disengagement in our marriage
only encouraged my determination to keep fighting for his attention.
He’ll
come around, and when he does, I will be ready to expand our family with future
Dons and Princesses,
I thought as I rested my head against the headrest
.

            “Where to now, Mrs. Balducci?” asked my driver, Stanley.

            “The Four Seasons.”

            “Are you sure?” Stanley asked as he looked in the
rearview mirror at me.

“Focus on the fucking road or else I’ll have
your eyeballs gouged out of your head,” I shouted angrily, as I cut my eyes
from his view.

Reaching for my cell phone, I scrolled
through my list of contacts and stopped at
his
number. He picked up on
the third ring, and I said, “I’m getting a room at the Four Seasons. Meet me
there at 6:00 PM.”