Dirty Little Misery (Miss Misery) (5 page)

Chapter Five

I went straight to The Lair after leaving Gryphon Headquarters. Not only could I use a drink, my shift would be starting in a couple hours. I figured I could have that drink, borrow Lucen’s shower, then come back to the bar ready to push liquor.

Strangely enough, when I needed normality in my life these days, Lucen was the person I thought of. It wasn’t too long ago that I’d have viewed him as proof of the lack of normality in my life, but I’d known Lucen for ten years, and I’d finally had to accept that he’d always been there for me.

Before everything that happened with Victor, I’d assumed Lucen took an interest in my life because he was toying with me, like a cat playing with a mouse before biting the poor creature’s head off. But apparently not. Lucen had taken me in when I was hiding from the Gryphons, risked his standing with the satyrs to protect me, and still had the nerve to get pissed off at me when I’d tried to protect him in return.

Much as I liked to think of him only as my satyr-with-benefits, or blame my attraction to him on his lusty magic, I knew better. I just hated to admit it. When I was feeling beaten down, I wanted him there to talk sense into me. And when I was angry and looking for a fight, I wanted him to help me work out my aggression in a less violent, more naked manner. And when I needed to talk about weird shit with someone who understood, he was a good option.

Steph was the only human who knew about my abilities, and she tolerated a lot of weirdness from me, but she didn’t have the knowledge of magic or the loathing for the Gryphons that Lucen did. She also wouldn’t understand the significance of what Tom had told me about his investigation of the furies. If I wanted someone to discuss that with, and my unpleasant vibe about Tom himself, Lucen was the person I needed.

More to the point, I also craved reassurance that being brought into an investigation that could potentially involve illegal activity on the satyrs’ behalf wasn’t going to destroy this unusual relationship of ours. I mean, it probably would, but I wanted Lucen to lie to me and tell me it wouldn’t. Since I couldn’t sense preds’ emotions, I could pretend to believe him.

Did I say I needed a drink? I needed more like several.

Saturday’s crowd didn’t get thick until around seven, so Lucen saw me right away as I entered the bar. I took my favorite stool near the end and rested my head on my arms until he made his way over.

“Do you need some coffee, little siren? You’ve been gone a long time.”

I raised my head, and some of my tension lifted as I saw the concern in his eyes. How did I end up making a satyr care about me, and why couldn’t I simply feel better knowing he did care? Why did it also make me long for his touch?

Damn his magic. Sometimes a girl wanted comfort without sex. But with satyrs, that was as likely as finding chocolate without calories.

“How about something more alcoholic than coffee,” I said, sitting up. “I’m awake but stressed. The investigation took a while, then I had to do all this paperwork and other crap at the office.”

Lucen smirked. “At the office. You sound so professional.”

“Please. How should I refer to it?”

He poured me a shot of Jameson. “When we want to get all literary, we call it Mount Doom. Mostly, though, it’s The Fucking Gryphon Building.”

The whiskey burned my throat but settled in my stomach just right. “You’re so eloquent.”

“I can be, but I’ve known you long enough to know you’re not the type to get hot from me quoting Shakespeare. So, on that thought…” He leaned over the bar and winked. “Get a uniform?”

“Alas, no. Got a shiny ID badge, but no uniform and no weapons.”

“Damn.”

I sighed dramatically. “I know, and I look so good in black too.”

Lucen topped off my drink. “Actually, I prefer you in as little as possible, but if we’re talking about your underwear, the red lacey ones are my favorite.”

“Good to know.” I put a hand over the glass. “Hey there, go easy on the booze. I need to work soon.”

“Don’t be stupid. Of course you don’t.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Don’t start. I’m not letting you pay me to hang around this place and pretty it up.”

He stuck the bottle back on the shelf. “I’m not paying you at all anymore, and I’ve got your shift for tonight covered. Caroline had asked for more hours, so this worked out about as well as Gryphon shit can.”

“Wait, what about Caroline? Did you just fire me? And for one of your addicts?”

Lucen’s face tightened, no doubt picking up on the disdain I had for his Caroline.

Addicts who were driven to deals by desperation earned my pity, but Lucen wasn’t one of those preds selling hope by the charm vial-full. He got his addicts by preying on their lust. I had a harder time feeling sorry for them, especially because he had to sleep with them every now and then to keep them healthy.

“I didn’t fire you, Jess. You got another job. That’s called quitting.”

“It’s not a job I asked for or wanted.”

He took my hand, but my annoyance was too great to be overcome by his power this time. “No, but be reasonable. It’s one that’s paying you a lot more than I can pay you, and it might—and is likely to—interfere with your ability to work here. I have to make sure I have my shifts covered, and you have to make sure you have money and don’t go to jail. So we’ll both make do.”

I scowled. Lucen had a point, but I didn’t like it. “You’d better get me another drink then. Yesterday, I was blackmailed. Today, I was fired, and that’s after I was probed and saw some really twisted stuff this morning.”

Lucen kissed my hand, and my bitterness relented a touch. “You’ll have to tell me about it later.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a few things to tell you.”

Lucen had to go back to work, so I sat and texted with Steph while nursing a beer. We hadn’t gone out in a while because I’d been working nights, and the few evenings I’d had free Steph had been hanging out with Jim, her boyfriend. I liked Jim and approved of their relationship. That was no small thing given Steph’s history of dating guys who were either in serious need of therapy or borderline psychos, so I did all I could to encourage them.

Absorbed as I was in my conversation, I didn’t notice the bar’s atmosphere had changed until a familiar voice spoke my name. “Ah, there she is. I’d thought I might find you here.”

I put my phone down as Dezzi, the satyrs’ Dom, swept through The Lair. As the most powerful satyr in Boston, Lucen—and all the other satyrs in the bar—answered to her, and their deference was quiet though noticeable. Dezzi was tall and voluptuous with pheromones that smelled vaguely like coconut. I could recognize their traces even if they weren’t making me squirm in my seat with lust.

As usual, Dezzi had piled her black braids around her head to a height that obscured her horns, and her silver jewelry gleamed against her dark skin. Even in jeans and a simple peasant blouse, she looked regal. Lucen seemed to adore her too. I didn’t know much about pred hierarchy, but when it came to Doms, I assumed they could be every bit as loved or loathed as any leader.

Dezzi could have thrown me out on my ass when I’d tried hiding from the Gryphons with Lucen, and she could have demoted him from his position as her third for daring to take me in. Instead, she’d heard us both out, and though saying she wasn’t pleased would have been an understatement, she’d given us a chance to make things right. And when we’d needed her support to follow through in the end, she’d given it.

Although once she’d kind of terrified me, these days I had no problems with Dezzi.

Now the satyr who was walking with Dezzi, however… I’d have been happy never running into her again. Lucrezia was Dezzi’s second, and although I had to admit she was gorgeous, I didn’t find her personality nearly as attractive. To Lucrezia, I was merely human cattle, and she didn’t understand why Lucen kept me around as a nonaddict fuck-buddy—her words, not mine.

I pushed my empty glass away. “Hi, Dezzi. Lucrezia.”

Lucrezia sat on the stool next to me, crossing her long, barely covered legs. “Pet, I’m surprised you’re hanging out here, all things considered.”

Behind Lucrezia, Lucen said something to the other bartender and wandered over. He took my empty glass away but continued to hover protectively.

Dezzi looked me up and down. “Rumor around Shadowtown is that the human with a satyr’s gift has become a Gryphon. I assume the rumor refers to you. Is it true?”

“That’s a rumor?” I cast a glance in Lucen’s direction.

He shrugged, setting two glasses of wine on the bar for the other women. “Don’t look at me. I haven’t said anything. I’d have told you eventually, Dez, but I was waiting to see what it meant myself.”

“So it is true?” Dezzi said again.

I didn’t know why, but I was feeling defensive all of a sudden. Maybe it was because I was surrounded by three powerful satyrs and feeling very human as a result. “It’s not like I went and applied for a job. I’m being blackmailed into working for them.” I gave Dezzi the briefest of rundowns about what happened between me and the Director.

“Nasty thing, isn’t she?” Lucrezia said, referring to Olivia Lee. “And you were so busy trying to defend them recently too.”

“Well, congratulations, I’m over it. But that doesn’t mean I want to help you destroy them.”

Dezzi ran a finger over her full lips. “Do you know what they want you to work on?”

I hesitated a second. There was no use in lying. She’d know. “Yes, I was brought in on a case this morning.”

“This wouldn’t have something to do with the murders in Newton, would it?” Lucrezia asked, picking up her wineglass.

I tensed. “Actually, yes. How did you know that?”

She gave me a pitying look. “Pet, don’t you watch the news? They said there were Gryphons on the scene.”

“Oh. Well, I haven’t exactly had time to watch the news. The Gryphons have sucked away my entire day. Believe me—I’m not happy about this.”

“No, I can tell you’re not.” Dezzi took a sip of wine finally. “But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re now working for our enemy.”

I jumped off my stool in disgust. It was clear where this conversation was going, and the worst wasn’t even public knowledge yet. If the news had mentioned anything about F, surely Lucrezia or Dezzi would have brought it up, and this chat would be less friendly than it already was. “Give me a break. I just got done being enemies with the sylphs. Can’t I go a month without people picking fights with me?”

“Dezz, she doesn’t have a choice,” Lucen said.

“To work for them? No.” Dezzi crossed her arms. “Perhaps not. I am not suggesting Jess should go to prison. But if the time ever comes when Jess’s involvement requires that she make certain difficult choices, I do hope she remembers what we’ve done for her.”

Although she was speaking of me in the third person, Dezzi watched me as she talked. I managed not to flinch, but internally my mind and emotions raced as I considered what Dezzi might know about the Newton case.

Yes, I appreciated that Dezzi hadn’t kicked me out when Lucen offered me the satyrs’ protection, but it wasn’t like Dezzi would have provided it herself. I thought she was fair, but she wasn’t a saint, and I didn’t owe her anything. Finding Victor and bringing him to justice hadn’t benefited me alone. It had benefited everyone in Dezzi’s domus, all of Shadowtown, and the greater Boston area alike—preds, humans and magi. Therefore, as far as I was concerned, any debts I’d accrued to the satyrs had been paid.

Especially if one of them was responsible for killing nine humans.

“Nothing’s changed,” I said. “As long as you don’t do anything to hurt people, we’re good. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Jess, where are you going?” Lucen asked as I wormed between Dezzi and Lucrezia.

“To meet Steph. I’ve got the night off, right?” Thanks to this brief interlude, I really, really wanted to be around humans. My people. Even if that wasn’t one hundred percent biologically accurate of me, I knew who I identified with.

The absurdity of coming here dawned on me as I stepped onto The Lair’s patio and breathed in the evening air. As much as I wanted him to be, I’d just gotten a very clear reminder about why it was a bad idea to let myself fall into the trap of letting Lucen become my normality.

When I’d said I was off to meet Steph, it had been a lie. But as it turned out, the hospital where Jim worked as a nurse asked him to take a second shift when someone called out sick, and Steph was all dressed up with nowhere to go. One text from me changed that.

Half an hour after leaving The Lair I was holed up at another bar. Kilpatrick’s Nutty Irishman Pub wasn’t just any bar either. Like The Lair, we had history. Steph and I had been hanging out here for years thanks to the discounted beer we got from her cousin who owned it. For that reason, it had also become soul-swapping HQ for me.

Steph hadn’t arrived by the time I got there, so I immediately headed for the right-hand bathroom. After locking the door, I climbed on the toilet, moved a ceiling tile aside and took down the Rubbermaid container in which I’d hidden a notebook and pen.

This was how Boston’s mysterious vigilante known as the soul-swapper communicated. It wasn’t exactly secure or high tech, and it definitely wasn’t flashy, but it had served me well over the years.

Emphasis on the
had
. Since I was working for the Gryphons, I should be putting this part of my life behind me. Actually, to be more precise, since I was being blackmailed into working for the Gryphons because this whole soul-swapping thing could get me in an assload of legal pain, I should definitely, absolutely and irrevocably put this part of my life behind me.

Funny, though, how that didn’t make me want to put this behind me. It made me want to step up my efforts for no other reason than to piss off the Gryphons.

Maturity—I had it. Right along with a serious chip on my shoulder and a sense of spite that ought to make my nose quiver in fear every time my face itched.

I also had a message. Setting the container on the sink, I opened the lid. The writing on the paper inside was simple and direct, if not a touch more dramatic than what I usually found.