Divinely Living (Surviving Series) (10 page)

“What am I doing, baby?” he whispered.

“Papering over the cracks with sex again,” I moaned quietly as his fingers brushed my moist opening. Heat spread through my veins, my entire body burning for the feel of his hands on my skin. His tongue licked across my bottom lip before coaxing my mouth open. His lips were soft against mine, his kiss so tender it cut through my soul. I felt lost yet found as his mouth moved in sync with my own. As my resolve began to slip, the taxi veered sharply around a tight corner jerking me out of the sexual spell Jonah was casting on me. Sudden embarrassment flushed my cheeks, our precarious position an obvious discomfort for the driver whose narrowed eyes met mine through the rear view mirror. Slapping my hand over Jonah’s, I pulled it from my thigh and rested it around my waist. The clenching of his jaw and furrowing of his brows told me that wasn’t a wise move. But as desperate as I was for his touch, I knew succumbing to his attempt to deflect my attention from what the hell was really bugging him would also be unwise. We couldn’t keep running from the shit that haunted us. It was time to stand and fight it.

His forehead rested against mine, his irritation clear. “Don’t ever stop me touching you, Ava. There are so many things that I will tolerate from you, but that is not one of them.”

“I’m not doing this in the back seat of a taxi again Jonah.” My voice was low but firm. “Start telling me what’s really got you spooked or you won’t be touching me again until you do.”

“Is that a challenge?” His blue eyes widened, “because you know too well how eager I am to prove myself in any challenge you care to set.”

“No, it’s not a challenge. It’s a Savannah Matthews promise. Don’t talk and you don’t touch. It’s as simple as that.”

Leaning forward, his teeth sank into my bottom lip making me yelp and then soothed the slight sting with a slow lick of his tongue. “Denying me what is mine will bring severe consequences Savannah. Are you sure you’re prepared to find out what they are?”

I remained unmoved, my resolve set. Trading verbal blows with a man like Jonah was far from an easy undertaking but at this moment was undoubtedly warranted. The airport was approaching fast and before either of us vacated the taxi that was now beginning to gain speed, he was going to confide in me, no matter what the consequences for making him do so may be.

“I can handle whatever you throw at me physically, surely you know that by now,” I replied with my chin lifted. “But what I can’t handle is you continuing to keep things from me when you know damn well what damage that secrets can do to us. I’ll take an ass spanking over deceit anytime.”

Surprise spread across his features, his chest rising rapidly on a deep breath. Surprise turned to resignation as he exhaled the breath he was holding before his eyes met mine. “Opening up is so hard for me to do Ava. I don’t know how to.”

I softened my voice though the firmness remained. “You managed perfectly fine two days ago. Just open your mouth and let the words flow out.”

“You should take your own advice,” he muttered, his head shaking slightly, “you’re not exactly forthcoming in the sharing department yourself.”

“I know but at least I’m trying.”

Leaning his head against the seat back, his eyes closed as he replied. “I’m terrified that the moment it stops just being the two of us, you’ll be reminded of what an asshole I’ve been and walk away from me again.”

“Jesus, Jonah, how many times do I have to tell you that I have absolutely no intentions of running again? You crushed me I won’t deny it and if I’m brutally honest I still carry doubts. But you’re worth hanging around for. No one and nothing can change the way I feel about you from now on, except you. Why can’t you understand that?”

He arched a dark brow, “Not even your best friend who right at this moment is waiting for you at the airport and as no idea that the deceitful fucker whose balls she threatened to sever from my body with a blunt object is with you? Don’t try to tell me that her opinion means nothing to you Savannah because we both know that’s a blatant lie.”

Fuck, I cursed myself vehemently. I was such a hypocrite. How the hell could I bang on to Jonah about the importance of truth and honesty when the most important person in my life aside from him was oblivious to the fact that I had been spending the last three days fucking the man I dragged her to France to escape? I passed up the opportunity to tell her everything the night before. We exchanged a brief call that consisted of my assuring her I was okay and her enthusing about a new venture she was entering into with her Parisian art dealer lover Jean-Pierre. Chickening out of spilling my guts may have seemed a good idea at the time but now it was well and truly kicking my ass. Charlotte’s protectiveness where I was concerned knew no bounds. It was a trait of hers I loved her for. Nervous tension shook my body and quickened my pulse. After a morning spent wrapped in Jonah’s obvious torment, the confrontation we would have with my tenacious best friend the moment we stepped onto the tiled floor of the airport totally escaped me. Either that or I chose willingly to block it out. Because one thing was a given. Charlotte’s hatred for Jonah was venomous. And hell would freeze to its depths before she accepted our reconciliation without putting up a strong fight.

Sighing, I sagged against Jonah’s rock hard torso as anxiety continued to shake me. “It’ll be fine. I can handle Charlotte,” I replied, hoping to God there was move conviction in my voice than what I actually felt, although I seriously doubted it.

***

Charlotte’s dark brown eyes shone with suspicion, her body posture rigid and solid. Stood before us with her hands firmly on her hips and her perfectly shaped brows pinched, my best friend searched my flushed face for an answer to the question her stance told me she already knew. Glancing nervously to my side, Jonah’s hand tightened around mine, his jaw set firm. An uncomfortable Jean-Pierre shifted his gaze between the three of us undoubtedly assessing the situation and finding it one he would rather not be privy to. His white linen shirt and casual beige trousers gave a relaxed, casual appearance. The darting of his eyes and the raking of his hands through his dark wavy hair told he was anything but. Crowds of travellers milled around the airport terminal as we stood facing one another in silence. The moment I had been dreading was upon me. Dressed in a pale pink long skirted summer dress and flat sandals with her raven hair piled high on her head, my visibly pissed best friend’s ‘cute’ look did nothing to mask the inferno of anger slowly burning within her.

“I leave you alone for a few days and you already have a new male friend, Savannah? Why don’t you introduce us?”

I breathed deeply in an attempt to calm the wave of irritation beginning to thump through my veins. I loved Charlotte, had come to rely on her for support and guidance. But that didn’t mean she had the right to insinuate my sexual encounters were frequent, known to be with total strangers and a past time I indulged in frequently. She knew me and she knew different.

“Well?” Arching a brow, her stare cut through me.

“Ava is with me, and you already know who I am Charlotte, you’ve had the pleasure of hearing my voice and verbally kicking my arse on the telephone on more than one occasion.” Jonah released my hand then wrapped his arm around my waist. “I understand how you feel about me; your hatred is deserved considering what I put Ava through. But I don’t appreciate you speaking to the woman I love in that way whether she is your best friend or not.”

Charlotte’s lip curled into a snarl as she crossed her arms across her chest. “You have no fucking idea how much I hate you Jacobson. And you definitely have no right to tell me how I should and should not speak to the woman whose heart you broke and I put back together again.” Her eyes blazed with fury as she turned her stare on me. “What the hell are you fucking playing at A? Have you lost your god damn mind?”

Jonah’s hand gripped my hip as he pulled me closer. Rising on my tiptoes, I pressed a reassuring kiss to his chin before moving from his hold and grasping my friend’s arm. “That’s enough Charlotte,” I said in a low voice. “I get that you’re pissed and that’s fine. But disrespecting me in public is way out of line and unacceptable.”

“Me, disrespect you?” her voice was laced with sarcasm, “you crawling back to a man who not only fucked you for your money but did that while he was engaged to another woman smacks of disrespect Ava, to yourself. I thought you were better than that.”

Prying eyes and inquisitive passers by began to pay more attention to the four of us now than I was comfortable with. Not letting go of her arm, I caught sight of a quiet coffee shop to the side of the terminal. “We need five minutes,” I told both men who stood weighing each other up in silence. Nodding towards the small cafe area, I tugged on Charlotte’s arm and moved us through the amassing crowd of passengers.

***

Red hot espresso slipped down my throat with an instant calming effect. Sitting cross legged with her arms folded over her chest, Charlotte’s anger showed no signs of dissipating. It seemed there were things even a shot of fresh caffeine were unable to tamper with and her disgust in my choice of flight chaperone was clearly visible. I sighed, took another hit of my long term drug of choice and looked her dead on.

“I’m sorry you had to find out about Jonah this way. I wanted to tell you when we spoke earlier but chickened out.”

“Why, Ava, of all the men you could choose, why the hell are you giving that lying scum a second chance?” Charlotte shook her head in dismay. “I should never have let you go off alone while you were so vulnerable. Men like Jacobson know all the strings to pull when women are at their weakest and lowest point.”

“I love him Charlotte,” I took another sip of coffee. “There’s nothing more to say.”

Rolling her eyes, she breathed in and tipped her head backwards. “That man has no idea what love is. You’re a financial means to an end my poor deluded friend and nothing more.”

“That speech coming from the friend who lives rent free in my home and is more than happy to accept handouts and eats, warms and bathes herself all at my expense, is damn fucking rich don’t you think?” I hated myself the moment the words tripped from my tongue. Shock resounded across my one true friend’s face as the bitterness hit her full on. Shock turned to hurt, her eyes filling with wet tears. I owed the woman before me everything and her family even more. The strain of the last few weeks still had me off balance but that did not excuse my verbal assault. Reaching across the table I clutch her cool hand in mine and squeeze. “God I’m so sorry for saying that, sweetie. I had no fucking right and didn’t mean a word of it. Forgive me.”

Swiping at her eyes with her free hand, Charlotte sat straighter in her chrome framed chair. “Firstly, I am not and never have been a leach Ava, and the fact you think so after all I’ve done for you over the years hurts like a bitch. I don’t care shit for your money or your charity. I really thought we were friends and in my book friends help each other out when times are tough and god knows I’ve had plenty of tough times recently and so have you. And secondly, that fucker hurt you, which means he also hurt me. Forgive me for not welcoming him back into your life with open arms.”

“I love him Charlotte.” They were the only words I could speak but they were the most truthful three words to ever leave my lips.

The hardness in her eyes remained, “I know you love him, A, that’s why you keep falling for his bullshit.”

Shaking my head, I released her hand and sank into my chair, “Jonah explained everything. Things are not always the way they appear, Charlotte.”

“Oh spare me the lines, Ava. You may be willing to forgive and forget so easily but I’m not. That bastard deceived you regardless of the reasons why. He doesn’t deserve you or a second chance.”

Tipping my head backwards, I closed my eyes and blew out a frustrated breath. I could feel this conversation was going nowhere. After being so quick to verbally chastise Charlotte in defence of Jonah, I realised where my loyalty was beginning to lie. My love for my best friend paled in comparison to my love for a man who probably had no right to deserve it but there was no denying he held it. “It’s not as simple as that.”

“It never is, A,” she snorted. Crossing her arms she rested her elbows on the table between us. "What about Cameron?”

“What about Cameron,” I questioned.

“My brother happens to be on the other side of the world sorting out the shit you were too chicken to deal with because
you
asked him to. He’s put his own life on hold to help you while you’ve been shacked up in St. Tropez with him,” she pointed over my shoulder in Jonah’s direction, “you’ve really got some fucking nerve using Cameron in that way. You’re my best friend Ava and I love you, but my family will always come higher on my list of priorities than you do, my loving, protective, caring younger brother more than anyone else.”

I sat silently in shock. Had I used Cameron because subconsciously I knew he would never refuse my request? I practically begged him to fly to Chicago on my behalf without a second thought for the impact that would have on his own life and business dealings. Guilt settled in the pit of stomach.

Leaning forward, determination was etched across Charlotte’s attractive face. “If you want to make a fool of yourself by all means go ahead, Ava. But leave my brother the hell out of it. Hurt him and our relationship is over do you hear me? Pushing out of her chair she stood abruptly then added, “I’m not prepared to sit around and watch him fuck with your head again while you fuck with Cameron’s. I’ll be staying with Jean-Pierre at my parents home when we get back to London.”