Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat?: True Stories and Confessions (28 page)

    

FRANCESCA SERRITELLA
is the coauthor of six humor memoirs in this series and is currently working on a novel. She is also a Sunday columnist for
The Philadelphia Inquirer
. Francesca is a cum laude and award-winning graduate of Harvard University and now lives in New York City with one dog and one cat, so far. You can visit Francesca at
francescaserritella.com
. Or sign up for email updates
here
.

    

 

Other Nonfiction by
Lisa Scottoline
and
Francesca Serritella

Have a Nice Guilt Trip

Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim

Best Friends, Occasional Enemies

My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space

Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

Fiction by
Lisa Scottoline

Every Fifteen Minutes

Keep Quiet

Don't Go

Come Home

Save Me

Look Again

Daddy's Girl

Dirty Blonde

Devil's Corner

Running from the Law

Final Appeal

Rosato & DiNunzio Series

Betrayed

Accused

Rosato & Associates Series

Think Twice

Lady Killer

Killer Smile

Dead Ringer

Courting Trouble

The Vendetta Defense

Moment of Truth

Mistaken Identity

Rough Justice

Legal Tender

Everywhere That Mary Went

 

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For email updates on Lisa Scottoline, click
here
.

For email updates on Francesca Serritella, click
here
.

 

Contents

Title Page

Copyright Notice

Dedication

 

Introduction
   
•
   Lisa

I'm Not My Type
   
•
   Francesca

Jumpy
   
•
   Lisa

For Your Information
   
•
   Lisa

Back to School
   
•
   Francesca

We Have a Winner
   
•
   Lisa

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be a Pain in the Ass
   
•
   Lisa

City Mouse, Country Cat
   
•
   Francesca

Baby Me
   
•
   Lisa

The Real Me
   
•
   Francesca

Task Master
   
•
   Lisa

Old and New
   
•
   Lisa

Bettor for Worse
   
•
   Francesca

Geared Up!
   
•
   Lisa

Mother Mary Gets Religion
   
•
   Lisa

Howdy Neighbor
   
•
   Francesca

Fight the Power
   
•
   Lisa

The Truth Tastes Delicious
   
•
   Lisa

Still Here, Kitty?
   
•
   Francesca

Dr. Mother Mary
   
•
   Lisa

I'm What's Cooking
   
•
   Lisa

Mother Mary
   
•
   Lisa

Fear of Flying
   
•
   Lisa

Love Without Rough Edges
   
•
   Francesca

Mother Mary and Frank Sinatra
   
•
   Lisa

Who Needs It?
   
•
   Francesca

Rollin' On
   
•
   Lisa

We Knew You Wouldn't Amount to Anything
   
•
   Lisa

Hardball at the Gym
   
•
   Francesca

Credit Where Credit Is Due
   
•
   Lisa

Guilt Tripping at 65 MPH
   
•
   Francesca

Hissy Fit Bit
   
•
   Lisa

Can You Keep a Secret?
   
•
   Francesca

My TV Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student
   
•
   Lisa

Going, Going, Gonzo
   
•
   Lisa

Here's a Howdy Do
   
•
   Francesca

In Search of Selfie
   
•
   Lisa

This Is Your Dog on Drugs
   
•
   Lisa

Working Out on Mount Olympus
   
•
   Francesca

An App a Day
   
•
   Lisa

I'm Spending My Granddog's Inheritance
   
•
   Lisa

The Rebound
   
•
   Francesca

Birthday Present
   
•
   Lisa

Rescue Me
   
•
   Lisa

Rite of Train Passage
   
•
   Francesca

Recycled
   
•
   Lisa

Life Among the Ruins
   
•
   Francesca

In It to Win It
   
•
   Lisa

My Buddy
   
•
   Lisa

Check, Please?
   
•
   Francesca

;)
   
•
   Lisa

It's a Miracle!
   
•
   Lisa

I Want What I Want
   
•
   Lisa

The Mutual Fade-Out
   
•
   Francesca

The Good Wife or the Dumb Wife?
   
•
   Lisa

Troublemaker
   
•
   Lisa

Seeing Ghosts
   
•
   Francesca

Quarantine Me
   
•
   Lisa

Keeping Abreast
   
•
   Lisa

If I Were Beyonc
é
   
•
   Francesca

Hot Mama
   
•
   Lisa

Princess Lisa
   
•
   Lisa

Moist
   
•
   Lisa

OK Freud
   
•
   Francesca

Sweet Tooth
   
•
   Lisa

You're Just Some Appliance That I Used to Know
   
•
   Lisa

Women's Rights and Wrongs
   
•
   Lisa

Hot or Not at the Gym
   
•
   Francesca

Twisted Sister
   
•
   Lisa

Good Grief
   
•
   Lisa

Carbs of Peace
   
•
   Francesca

Thru Flu
   
•
   Lisa

Tread Lightly
   
•
   Lisa

Hot Wheels
   
•
   Francesca

The Second-Greatest Generation
   
•
   Lisa

Cliff Diving
   
•
   Francesca

Does This Beach Make Me Look Old?
   
•
   Lisa

 

Acknowledgments

About the Authors

Other Nonfiction by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella

Copyright

 

DOES THIS BEACH MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
Copyright © 2015 by Smart Blonde, LLC, and Francesca Scottoline Serritella. All rights reserved. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.