Donorboy (19 page)

Rosalind90: ME2.

Redchordfan03: HEY GOOD NEWS THO

Rosalind90:?

Redchordfan03: DON'T B MAD BUT I GAVE YR POEM 2 MY CUZ
&
HE LOVES IT & WANTS 2 MAKE A CSRA SONG FROM IT. HOPE ITS OK.

Rosalind90: YEAH! HOPE ITS BETTER THAN THAT SATANS PLAYPEN SONG.

Redchordfan03: BETTER LYRICS ANYWAY

Rosalind90: WANNA GET COFFEE 2MORROW?

Redchordfan03: OK BUT NO DINER.

Rosalind90: COOL. CU 2MORROW.

Redchordfan03: OK BYE.

Dear Fluffy:

Back from school. Kate told me Jen actually called me a “goody goody
dyke
bitch,” and I can't believe that because I thought she was cool, or maybe I can't believe I thought she was cool, I don't know, but I didn't know what to say because I don't know if it's a lie, I mean I might or might not be both of those things so I was like that's so mean just because of my moms and Kate was like yeah and that was like it.

So, Fluffy, believe it or not I have actually been thinking about my bliss since talking to Niall and I don't know what it is, except I am pretty sure it's not math homework. I like to cook but I don't know if that's my bliss or not. Apparently I am a metal songwriter now, which I actually went and told Sean because I was excited because it's my stuff but also because the cute guy will know my name. I left that part out when I talked to Sean, but he was like all enthusiastic, that's great, you could be the metal Robert Hunter and I was like who the hell is that and he said there was some famous hippie stoner band where this guy who wasn't in the band wrote songs. I think the Grateful Dead would be a way better metal name but Sean says they play like stoner country blues or something.

So maybe mistress of metal is my bliss. Maybe being a goody goody bitch is my bliss, but then that would mean math homework, so maybe not. BTW I also gave “Girl in a Cage” to Westerberg for like extra credit or whatever but also because I guess I want somebody grown up to like it and he said he would read it tonight and let me know.

I don't know, Fluffy, I don't know exactly what to do or anything, but I did actually do my history homework tonight because it is not my bliss but sucks less than math and I guess if stupid Jen is going to call me a goody goody bitch I should try to live up to it.

I know she called me a dyke too and I don't know if I should try to live up to that or not. I am bored of thinking about it, bored of worrying about it but for some reason being bored of it doesn't actually make it stop. Oh well.

Christmas is coming up, like every store me and Kate went to today was totally Christmas with the songs playing and the dancing santas and the little bendy santas which Kate stole two and gave me one so I guess I am an accessory to a crime, ha ha. I used to love it so much and now I don't even want it to be Christmas because I am trying not to think about it but it will be a lot of time around the house with nothing to think about but being sad and stupid it's a wonderful life, Zuzu, kids, and George Bailey the richest man in town which Mom always watched and cried and I don't want to have a stupid holiday and be sad or worse yet go there there for Karen even though if she asks me I don't know how I'm going to say no way.

Maybe I should take like a voke cooking class or something instead of math. I wonder if they let you do that. I don't know what my bliss is but sleep is looking good right now.

Dear Sean and Rosalind
,

I really enjoyed seeing you. I said I would write, so I am writing. I am not sure what I should say, though, except that really was the best weekend I have had in a long time
.

Sean
—
I meant what I said about you being an old soul and me being a young one. But I think I probably should have done more to make you want to hang around with me. You did well without my help, but, for what it's worth, I am sorry I didn't do more
.

Rosalind
—
I could tell from Sean's getting that disapproving look every time you laughed at one of my stories that he was afraid you would follow me into the erstwhile family business so that you too could have humorous adventures. I think you've got more sense than me (or probably Sean either
)—
you seem like a very old soul to me
—
but I guess I should balance out what I said with the fact that one of the reasons I got out of it was that it got too dangerous. I can laugh about getting shot at now, but at the time I soiled myself which was a detail I omitted from the funny version
.

The novel is almost finished Some kid who used to come in the bar every night when he was at Penn is some kind of literary agent now, so I'm going to send it off to him and see what happens
.

I will see you in a couple weeks. Until then, take it easy on each other
.

—
Niall Cassidy, Famous Stoner Grandfather

Dear Niall
,

Sorry about the free restaurant postcard. I will write a real letter soon. I just wanted to tell you that the soiling yourself part actually makes the story funnier. Especially since you say, “soiled myself” instead of, like, “shit my pants” or something. Just for future reference. Also, I have no desire to deal weed
.

—
Rosalind

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: odds and ends

Hey there. So I have several things to say, and I figured that some of them might make you roll your eyes or generally tune out because of excessive corniness, so I thought I would write you instead.

I'll start with the corniest part, but stick with me, because it does get less corny. First of all, I had a very nice time this weekend, and I enjoyed our ride home. I think you are probably correct about Niall and his trying to do his best. It's helpful to me to get the perspective of someone outside the situation.

Also, and prepare to roll your eyes, I am still very happy that you got out of that situation that you probably wisely still refuse to tell me about. My friend Dave is always telling me about how teenagers are supposed to make mistakes and use bad judgment, but this is an instance where you used better judgment than many adults probably would have.

I will add that I know your mothers would have been very proud of you too. Now, before you throw something at the screen (people speaking for the dead has always been one of my pet peeves, especially when people who had no business doing it tried to say something about what my mother would have thought about me), I do have some information to back this up.

Well, I imagine Sandy, from what I knew of her, would have been having some sort of nervous fit such as you have seen me have a few times recently. Eva, though—well, I don't know if this is something I should tell you or not, but it feels like the right thing to do, so here goes. I sanitized somewhat my story of what Eva told me about her years on
Single Dads Club
. Something else she told me was that she left acting and Los Angeles and went to dental school because she was terrified of making bad decisions. She did not get too specific, but she said she was “young and stupid and rich,” and that she was “afraid my life was going in a very bad direction.”

So when I say that she would be proud of you, it's because she also took steps to get herself out of a bad situation, but when she was a full nine years older than you are now. I am admittedly very new to this parenting thing, but I do believe that one thing all parents want is for their children to make better decisions than they did.

All right. On to a totally different subject. We tossed around the idea of your taking that voke cooking class that meets at the same time as your math class. I am not trying to impose this particular brand of bliss on you, but I did decide to explore this possibility. I exchanged e-mails with your math teacher, who appears to be an incredible pain in the ass. In any case, she informed me in the same e-mail that it is “nearly mathematically impossible” for you to pass for the year and that she was “categorically opposed” to your taking another class. Apparently she believes you need to suffer for six more months for your unpardonable sin of not being enthralled by quadratic equations. She assured me that she would “fight such a move every step of the way.”

Call me a lawyer, but this does sound like a challenge to me. I'll be happy to take it on, but, again, I don't want to squash this woman just for my own ego gratification. No, that's a lie. I couldn't stand her tone and would derive great ego gratification from getting this to happen, but I do recognize that this is ultimately about you and not me. So let me know if this is something you want, and I will make sure you get it. (And should we meet with Dr. Vanian, you could create a bingo card for me with the words “hostile environment” in every square and probably win in about thirty seconds.)

Finally, and I suppose this is another eye-roller, I think you should consider re-joining that peer counseling group. You've been through a great deal and appear to be putting it back together, and your pugilistic adventures would surely give you credibility with even the most hardened students. Just a thought.

See you at dinner.

—Sean

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: odds and ends

Sean—I don't know if I wanted to know that about Mom but it does kind of explain why she never really talked about being on TV and didn't have any tapes of the show or anything. Anyway, thanks, I guess. I mean, I don't know. I need to think about it, but I guess you're right that it's something that's good for me to know. Maybe. I swear I can't picture Mom as some kind of hard partyer who needs to leave town. I am actually not sure I want to. But whatever, I guess she would have told me eventually.

I don't know if cooking is my bliss either (Niall is such a corndog with that phrase. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, ha-ha) but math class is not. I actually think Ms. Weymouth is okay, but if I can't possibly pass I guess I'd rather do just about anything else and then do math in summer school. I guess I'd rather cook than cut class and smoke in the bathroom. (That is a joke. Kind of.)

By the way I think I will not be home for dinner if it's okay. I mean, um, can I go out? Kate is going to see Child Soldiers Run Amok practice in her cousin Jamie's basement and I guess they are going to do my song, or whatever the song they made from my poem. Like I told you the band is straight edge so caffeine will be the strongest thing there. And it's at 85 Boylston Street right here in Charlesborough, and Jamie's mom's phone number is 617-555-1824 if you really want to call and embarrass me, but just please don't talk about Metallica with anybody. Kate says they will get pizza or something so I will get fed and I will be home by 8.

—Rosalind

New text message!

From: Sean

3:43 pm

U R THE HI PRIESTESS OF METAL. GO & HAVE FUN. I DID CALL BUT SAID ZIP ABOUT METALLICA.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Hello?

Rosalind—Since you have not been answering my phone calls or returning my voice mails, I thought I should try e-mail. I hope that you are just busy and happy doing teenager things, but I am concerned about you and would appreciate it if you would check in. I know that Thanksgiving was tough, and that holidays in general are going to be tough for a while. I understand if talking to me pulls you back into that mindset, but I would really appreciate an e-mail telling me that you are all right. Or, if you are not all right, an email telling me that Lisa is helping you and that you are not making bad choices.

I feel an obligation to your moms to keep up with you, but, more than that, you are important to me. I was thinking maybe we could go out to dinner sometime this week—I will spring for something fancy, and I will promise not to cry. What do you say?

—Karen

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re: My big weekend