Doublecrossed (6 page)

“This is Callie Emerson, Marina Bolton’s girlfriend. I think Angela mentioned I was going to call?”

There was long silence on the other end, then Callie heard a door close. “Yeah. Hi. This is Regan.”

Callie cringed a little when she heard her pronounce her name. She pronounced it with a long e. Ree-gan, rather than Ray-gun, as Callie had said it. “Is this a good time to talk?”

“It’s not bad. I’m at work, but there aren’t many people here this morning. I should have some privacy.”

“Just let me know if you need to go and I can call you back at a better time.”

“I will.”

Now that Callie had the floor she felt tongue-tied. “How’ve you been?”

After another pause, Regan said, “I’ve been better. This is the first time anyone’s cheated on me.”

“That you know of.” Callie was amazed that sentence had come out of her mouth. A lot of people believed monogamy was possible, and it didn’t seem right to throw reality into their faces.

Regan seemed to share the sentiment. Her voice turned very frosty. “If it happened before I never learned about it.”

“That was a stupid thing for me to say. I guess my cynicism about people comes through sometimes.”

“I’m not very cynical, and I don’t want to be. I need to trust my friends and lovers, and when I can’t trust them anymore I don’t forgive easily…if at all.”

Callie laughed softly. “I used to be like that myself, but I changed. Now I tend to assume that people will screw up, and I’m more likely to forgive them.”

“I don’t really want to change, thank you.”

Callie could hear Regan shuffling papers or moving something around, and was fairly sure she was losing her. She found herself revealing more than she’d planned. Her voice was soft and thoughtful when she said, “I didn’t plan on changing, but…over time I realized that most people can’t be monogamous. It just made sense to change the rules. If you can’t beat ’em…”

It was Regan’s turn to talk but there was nothing but silence.. Finally, Regan said, “So you assume your girlfriend will cheat and it’s not an issue if she does?”

“No, it’s not like that. Marina and I worked out a way to have some freedom. We’re lovers. Partners. The other stuff is just sex.” She was surprised to hear herself call Marina her partner. That was a term she never used. Were they partners? That sounded awfully—permanent.

Regan’s voice was as cold as ice. Each word was crisply enunciated and cut short. “Angela and I don’t have an agreement. I’m not interested in that kind of agreement. I’m interested in being with someone who makes a promise and keeps it.”

Callie started to talk just as Regan made some of those “I’m finished” kinds of noises. Undaunted, Callie continued, “If that works for both of you, that’s great.”

“It works for me. Obviously Angela’s not as committed to the idea as I am.”

“Maybe she just made a mistake. I’m not sure what went down between them, and frankly I don’t want to know, but I’m confident that Marina doesn’t want it to continue.”

There was just a glimmer of hesitation when Regan said, “Angela says the same thing.” Some of the frost left her voice and Callie could tell that her mind wasn’t completely made up.

“I don’t want to talk smack about my own girlfriend, but Marina can be pretty persuasive. She said they’d both had too much to drink, and she probably made the first move.” That was the exact opposite of what Marina said had happened, but she didn’t feel that she was lying by making that conjecture. It was entirely unbelievable that Marina would let someone seduce her if she didn’t want to be seduced. Being exploited wasn’t in her nature.

Sounding just short of incredulous, Regan said, “It doesn’t bother you that your girlfriend screws around like that? Doesn’t that just make you some other girl she has sex with?”

How dare she! She didn’t have to take this from a stranger. Hotly, she said, “No. That’s not how it is. We have an agreement.” She took a breath. “Actually, we have a list. You can’t have sex with someone if her name isn’t on the list.”

Regan sounded like she wanted to reach through the phone and punch Callie. “I would have liked to know that Angela’s name was on your damn list. Then I could have kicked her out before she humiliated me.”

“No! No! Angela wasn’t on the list. She’s exactly the kind of person I never would have allowed Marina to sleep with.”

“What the fuck is wrong with Angela?” Regan demanded. Then she muttered a soft, “What in the hell?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Angela. But I’d never allow Marina to put somebody on her list who wasn’t single or in an open relationship. And people from work are always off limits. That’s just stupid.”

Regan sounded hurt and very fragile when she tentatively said, “So does it hurt less for you?”

“Yeah, maybe. Oh, I don’t know.” Her head started to throb. It was hard enough talking to Marina about this. Now she had to tell Regan about it? When Regan didn’t say another word she realized she had to suck it up and get to it. “A few years ago my lover did something pretty tame in comparison and it hurt a lot more. I guess I’ve gotten less sensitive to sexual things. When Marina’s with me, she’s mine alone and that’s worked for us.”

“I want Angela to be mine whether I’m watching her or not.”

That stung a little, but Callie didn’t acknowledge the slight. Their agreement was obviously too out of the norm for most people to understand. “I guess that’s the ideal, but it’s hard to get. I’ve decided it’s more realistic to allow for some flexibility.”

“Yeah, it sounds like that worked out great.” Regan’s sarcasm was ill disguised.

“Obviously it didn’t work out very well this time. But I’m committed to making this work. That’s a promise I made and having Marina break a promise to me doesn’t give me an excuse to break one to her.”

Regan was quiet for quite a while. “It was nice of you to call.”

“I might not be where you are now, but I was there a few years ago. I really do know what it feels like to have the person you love most break your heart.”

Regan sounded like she might be sniffling away tears. “Yeah. Thanks. I’ve got to go.” And with that, she broke the connection.

Callie sat perfectly still for a few seconds, the phone still in her hand. She and Regan had been talking about exactly the same betrayal, but there was a fierceness, a raw hurt that Regan obviously felt. Callie couldn’t summon that same degree of outrage, and wondered why this had affected Regan so much more profoundly. Regan was probably younger and hadn’t suffered as many blows. Once she’d been through it a few times, it wouldn’t hurt nearly as much.

*

Marina answered her cell phone on the first ring. “What happened?”

“I think you’d better review your other options because the phone call didn’t turn out very well.”

Anxiety permeated Marina’s voice. “Tell me everything.”

“Why don’t you come upstairs, honey?”

“Don’t want to waste time. What happened?”

“It wasn’t a horrible conversation, but she didn’t seem very willing to give Angela another chance.”

“Tell me more! You were on the phone for hours.”

“I was on for about four minutes. She didn’t seem very interested in talking to me and she seemed really pissed off. Obviously, I don’t know her at all, but if I had to bet, I’d bet that she was finished. She said she felt humiliated.”

“Over a harmless fuck? What is wrong with people?”

Callie didn’t comment. To have Marina ask that question indicated a complete lack of understanding of human nature.

The tension in the apartment over the next few days was just short of unbearable. Marina was short-tempered and edgy, and for the first time, Callie felt nothing but relief when Marina had to leave for San Antonio early on Thursday morning.

After Marina kissed her goodbye, Callie gave in to her urges and stayed in bed. She had some phone calls to make and she was working on finishing a book cover for a local publishing company, but she always did better work when she was under the gun. Just having Marina out of the house made her feel better than she had in days, and she found that her libido was just as happy as the rest of her. She spent almost an hour fantasizing about random women while she touched herself from her shoulders to her knees, relishing the sensation of her own body. Afterwards, while she was showering, it occurred to her that she hadn’t had one image of Marina in her fantasy film reel. That was odd for her, very odd. Thinking of Marina was always part of pleasuring herself. And when had she ever been glad to get her out of the house? This wasn’t good news. If she didn’t want Marina at home and she was afraid to have sex with her…there wasn’t much left.

*

At ten o’clock that night Marina called and Callie could tell that she had good news just by the way she said hello. “They’re not breaking up!”

“You talked to Angela?”

“Yeah, of course I did. The girlfriend sure isn’t going to call me.”

“Right. Stupid question. Did Angela say what happened?”

“Not really, and I didn’t ask. All she said was that they were going to try to make it work.”

“I’m glad. Now maybe you can relax a little bit.”

“I’m the one who’s glad. I think your phone call made a difference. You’re very persuasive when you want to be.”

“Maybe she just loves her.”

“I hope so, and I hope if they ever do break up it’s not because of this. I think I’ve dodged a bullet.”

“Do you…” Callie was afraid to ask the question, but she had to. She had to know. “Do you talk to her much?”

Marina answered very quickly. “No. We have to talk about work, of course, but that’s it.”

That was a lie. It had to be. She knew just how it had gone. Marina had been subtly persistent, calling Angela several times, never about work. Marina wasn’t the kind of person to let the chips fall where they may. And she never let chips fall when she could manipulate them in some way.

Callie went into her office and tried to concentrate on that book cover that was almost due. Thinking about this mess wasn’t helping. It just made her doubt Marina more, and that wasn’t the direction she wanted to go in.

*

Callie was in the kitchen making dinner the next night when Marina arrived home from her trip. As soon as she opened the door she called out happily, “Sweetheart? Where are you?”

Callie went to the doorway and gave Marina a frankly puzzled look. “I’m right here.”

Without even taking her coat off, Marina dashed across the living room and gathered Callie up in her arms. “ I missed you,” she said, kissing all over her face.

Callie giggled while pulling away. “That tickles!”

Marina released her and patted her on the butt as she walked away. “Let’s go out to dinner and celebrate.”

“But I’m making your favorite enchiladas.”

“They’re just as good the next day. Come on. We’ll go someplace really nice. I feel like this is a new beginning.”

Callie looked at her and saw the longing in her eyes. She had a very difficult time saying no to Marina under the best of circumstances, but when she could tell that something was truly meaningful to her, it was impossible. She considered her finances and decided that she could delay the scheduled maintenance on her car for another couple of weeks. “You call and get us reservations and I’ll get ready.” As she passed her, Marina snuck an arm around her waist, held her still and kissed her deeply. Callie tried to respond as she normally would, but it felt forced and she went into their room trying to ignore the dread she felt in the pit of her gut. When one of those forceful kisses didn’t make her tingle—something was very wrong.

*

The next day was rainy and cool, but Marina’s parents were in town and she wanted to go meet them and play golf. Callie knew how to play and was, in fact, better at the game than Marina was, but she didn’t enjoy playing with the Boltons. The family acted like each shot was vital. Because it seemed more like work than play for her, she opted out. But Marina was so disappointed that she made an offer she knew would please her.

“I think I’ll stay home and get your new computer set up. I know you hate doing things like that.”

Marina grinned happily. “It’s not so much that I hate it as that I’m terrible at it. You’re the only techie in this family.”

Callie gave her a quick hug. “I hope your clients don’t know how little you know about technology.”

“I’m a sales person, not a programmer. I have people who can talk tech…thank God.” She went into her office and came back with two laptops. “Just take everything from the old one and throw it onto the new one. You can do that, right?”

Callie smiled. “Yeah, I can do that. It’ll take some time, but it’s not hard. I can work on my own stuff while yours is crunching away.”

“Hey, could you put the contacts from my old phone onto the new computer?”

“Sure. Your old phone had a chip, right?”

“Uhm, a chip is…?”

“Let me see it, honey.”

Marina went to get it, returning a few moments later. “Sorry I don’t pay attention to things like this.”