Down the Shore (28 page)

I had five scheduled courses I was taking the first semester. I had already applied for the exchange program for next semester, but I wouldn't know their answer for a while. Every day was hard. I missed him, but I pushed on and enjoyed myself, enjoyed my new professors, my classes, even my new friends.

I had been at school for four weeks when I realized something was terribly wrong. I wasn't quite sure exactly what, but I hadn't felt well for several days.

My roommates thought I was a complete bore ‘no fun,’ as I heard them say once. They were out every night meeting guys, going to parties. I never did. I sat down, trying so hard to think, to put everything together. As I racked my brain reliving the summer, I knew immediately. I curled up on the floor not being able to breathe. It had been seven weeks since I had my period. I had completely forgotten to take that into account with everything that was going on in my life. I pulled myself off the floor, still in shock, grabbed my bag and took the bus to the local pharmacy.

It was hard enough to buy, let alone take it out of the bag. I stood there in the aisle staring at it, just holding it in my hand, afraid to take it to the register. As I made my way back to my dorm, I already knew it would confirm my fears.

It was the longest three minutes of my life. I waited impatiently in the bathroom, pacing back and forth, looking at the stick sitting on the counter. It changed at exactly the three minute mark.

Makenna's voice flooded back into my head, asking me about this weeks earlier. How could we have been so stupid? Neither one of us ever considered this would happen, as we always got caught up in the moment, never taking precautions. The only sense of relief I had was that I was eventually marrying him.

I huddled in my bed, crying the entire evening, not speaking to anyone. I didn't even answer the phone when it rang at exactly six. I didn't know what to say to him. I knew as soon as I told him about our situation, everything would change. I wouldn't be a freshman at college. I would become Mrs. Murphy and a mother by nineteen.

Five days went by. I went about my life like the living dead, attending classes, speaking to no one. My phone had twenty missed calls, and fifteen of the messages were from Colin. He was frantic, looking for me, wondering if I had run off with someone else, or to see if I was even alive. I knew if I called, he would be able to tell something was wrong, because I wouldn't be able to hide it. He was worried about me, yelling into the phone, then he would whisper, then yell. I felt horrible. I had to call.

It was late, after ten when I got the courage to phone him. I forgot to figure in the time difference, and it was almost three-thirty in the morning for him.

He answered, half asleep.

"Abigail, where the bloody hell have you been, love? I was frantic with worry,” he yelled.

I didn't say anything, I just listened to his panting on the other end.

"Abby, do you realize I almost jumped on a plane? I was so close, a few more days of not hearing from you, and you would have found me on your doorstep,” he yelled.

"I'm so sorry, I've just been busy,” I lied. “How are you?” I asked with my voice trembling.

"Abby, what's wrong? You sound scared, nervous or something,” he noted.

"I'm fine, just miss you is all,” I told him.

I heard him breathe in heavily. “I miss you, too. I'm just glad you called.” He paused. “I thought maybe you met someone else already."

"Not a chance. I only have eyes for you, I promise,” I assured him.

"Well, good, me too,” he laughed. “Every time I look at someone I see your face. My brother doesn't even want to be around me anymore. Apparently, I'm a bloody mess and no fun to be with."

"It's really good to hear your voice,” I said. “I need to see you, sooner rather than later,” I told him.

"Is everything all right?” he asked again.

"Yes."

"All right, I can't come until the end of October or beginning of November, though. It's a tough year—the university is kicking my arse."

"Okay,” I said, trying to add up the weeks.

I knew I would be almost entering the second trimester around that time, maybe even showing. I got him off the phone as quickly as I could without his noticing anything. I held onto his picture, and drifted to sleep.

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I woke the next morning in a panic, but I knew what I had to do. I didn't care about leaving school, or leaving my family. I needed to see Colin. I couldn't wait for four or more weeks to go by without telling him. I pulled out my passport I had taken from my mother's bedside drawer before leaving, placed it in my bag and wrote a letter.

I opened up the computer and checked for flights to Dublin for that evening. I was already so close to the airport and I had made plenty of money over the summer for the flight. I found a nine forty-five p.m. flight, packed my bags and threw my letter into the mailbox in the main hall. I called a cab, shoved the envelope full of my summer funds in my bag and had him take me to the airport.

I had flown internationally before with my family, but this flight was going to be the longest six hours I had ever spent in my life. I walked up to the counter, pulled out the wad of cash from the summer and bought a one-way ticket. I didn't know where I was going, what I was going to say. I knew nothing. I had a piece of paper with two addresses: his flat in Dublin and his parents’ house in Wicklow.

Due to the time difference, I arrived very early, about seven in the morning. The airport was busy and loud. There had been a large group of people on the plane who were all vacationing together, some sort of American Irish club heading over for the week.

I was starving. The flight had served a small dinner early on, and my stomach growled loudly. I grabbed a quick breakfast at the airport—an Irish breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, beans, bacon, sausage and some kind of pudding. It was delicious. I ate quickly, although not touching the funny-looking pudding.

I was so excited, anticipating seeing Colin for the first time in over a month. I knew once he held me in his arms, all my problems would temporarily disappear. I knew how much he adored me, but I was a little afraid to tell him that in addition to gaining a wife, he was going to be a father as well. I had the cab take me to his flat, because I assumed he would be there and not at his folks’ house. He dropped me off at the address I'd given him. I looked around, confused, and looked back at the cab driver.

"Are you sure this is the right place?” I asked as he pulled my bag from the trunk.

"Yes, lass. The flat you're looking for is upstairs over the pub,” he noted, pointing with his finger.

I looked back at the building, “Murphy's Irish Pub” was in big blue letters. I wondered if there was any relation to his family, but Colin had never mentioned it.

"Okay, thanks,” I yelled as the taxi pulled away.

I didn't know what to do next. I just stood there, suitcase next to me, his address in my hand. I saw someone in the pub washing off the top of the bar. I opened the door, and walked inside. There was a beautiful girl inside, a little older than myself. She had poker straight black hair, big brown eyes and a drop-dead smile.

"Can I help you?” she asked.

I began, feeling hesitant. “Not sure, I'm looking for Colin Murphy."

She smiled brightly.

"He's upstairs. You could ring the bell, it's right outside the door,” she pointed out, grinning.

"Thanks.” I turned to walk away.

I heard her giggling, as I peered back over my shoulder to look at her one more time.

"You're welcome, Abigail."

How did she know my name? I rang the bell five times before I could hear someone running down the stairs.

"Hold your bloody socks on, will you, Maggie?” he yelled. The door opened, and he stood there, half-naked. I had almost forgotten how breathtaking he was. He looked at me, rubbing his eyes, trying to focus.

"Bloody hell, what are you doing here?” he yelled, joyfully scooping me up into his arms. They felt so good wrapped around me, exactly where they were supposed to be.

I saw the girl from the pub staring out the window, smiling.

"Hi."

That's all I could get out before his lips came crushing down on mine. I'd been right. All my fears washed away instantly as he held me tight. I closed my eyes, imagining we were on our bench with no worries.

"Abby, you didn't answer me, why are you here?” He stopped. “Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, really. I just needed to see you in person, talk to you, see your face.” I spoke softly with my head down.

"Look at me,” he said.

I saw the tension in his face, waiting for the bomb to drop. There was a moment of silence, then his face hardened and his perfect smile vanished.

"Abigail, please tell me you're not here to break up with me, to give me back the ring?” he asked with desperation in his voice.

"Hardly,” I replied.

He sighed happily. We walked up the stairs, and he brought me into his room to talk, explaining that Patrick was in the other room, still sleeping.

The flat was big and bright, much different from what I expected. It was beautiful.

"So, what did you need to tell me that couldn't wait a few more weeks?” He looked down at me. I didn't look up, and the tears arrived before I could even think about how to tell him.

He sat close to me, and pressed his mouth to my chin. “Abigail, what is it, you're scaring the hell out of me, love.” He moved his mouth down to the nape of my neck, quickly breathing in, and I knew that, as before, he was losing himself in my fragrance. “Abby, what is going on? What about your parents, school...say something!"

It made me smile, thinking of our summer together.

I was exhausted. I hadn't slept on the plane because the woman who sat next to me talked my ear off the entire flight. As each day arrived exhaustion came more easily. I didn't want this to be the first thing I said; I wanted to plan it out better.

"Do you mind just holding me? I'm so tired. I just need to sleep a little first,” I confessed, with my eyes almost shutting on their own.

He looked at me, confused. “Sure.” He still didn't understand the reason for my sudden appearance.

He held on to me the entire time. When I woke, he was just laying there, one arm behind his head, the other wrapped around me.

I curled in closer to him, “How long have I been asleep?” I asked hesitantly.

"Nine hours. I missed my classes, but it was worth it,” he told me.

I couldn't believe it, even though I knew I was tired. “I'm so sorry,” I apologized.

He started playing with a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear, “Nonsense, besides this is much more pleasurable than sitting through lectures,” he mused.

I smiled at him.

"Patrick peeked in, having heard you were here. He's eager to meet the girl who has made me so miserable."

He pulled me on top of him, taking my face in and slowly kissed every inch he could.

"I still can't believe you're here,” he said. “When do you have to go back?"

"I don't know... I bought a one way ticket,” I whispered. It scared me how that must sound to him.

He pulled me back, and looked at me, grinning. “What?” He hesitated. “Do your folks know?"

I grimaced, closing my eyes. “I only had enough money for one way and... and I mailed them a letter.” I hesitated briefly. “Do you still want to marry me?” I asked him, with my head nestled into his chest.

He chuckled, pulling me away.

"What? Of course, what's wrong?” he asked, still unaware of my next announcement.

I decided to just blurt it out. How else is there really to tell someone he's about to be a father?

"I'm pregnant.” I winced, and before I knew it the tears came quickly again.

I held my eyes fastened as tight as I could, then opened them slightly. I was afraid to look at him, see his expression. There was nothing, complete silence. I didn't even feel him flinch. After several minutes, he looked at me and dried my face with the corner of his sleeve.

"I kind of wondered how we escaped that. I guess I was wrong after all,” he mumbled.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. This was my fault, I knew better,” he admitted. “At the time I just let my body take over. I didn't think straight when I was around you. I'm the one who's sorry,” he paused. “Do you feel okay?” He placed his palm flat on my stomach.

I nodded softly.

The tears filled my eyes again, and I knew he could feel my anxiety.

"Well, wait till my family hears. I guess we should celebrate."

"Do you still want me?” I whispered.

"Never so much, you are my life. I'm yours forever. I've known that for a while. We're just moving things along a little faster is all. Did you tell them everything in the letter?” he asked.

I bit down, piercing the skin on my lip.

"I didn't tell them. The note just said that I was coming to see you,” I said.

He threw his head back. “Ugh, Abby. Your father is going to kill me for sure."

"What are we going to do?” I asked.

"Well, let's see. Do you still want to go to school?"

"Yes.” I answered quickly.

"Here or there?” he wondered.

"Here, with you,” I responded.

"Right, we'll take care of that straightaway. Next, we need to call your family, first thing in the morning. Okay?"

I nodded.

He pulled me up off the bed. “Now, let's go get something to eat.” He grabbed my hand. “Besides, people are waiting to meet you."

"Who?” I was curious.

"Patrick and my two sisters. You met one this morning,” he told me, smiling.

"She's your sister?” I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. That must have been how she knew my name.

"Maggie.” . “She's the one who told Patrick you were here. He's very curious about you."

"Is that your family's pub downstairs?"

"Yes, one of them. We have one in Wicklow, too. We all have a hand in it, helping when we can,” he told me.