Dr. Brad Has Gone Mad! (4 page)

By the time Dr. Brad let me go, it was afternoon recess. I ran over to join the guys on the playground.

“So, did Dr. Brad give you electric shocks?” asked Michael.

“Did he take out your brain?” asked Ryan.

“Nah,” I told them, “he tried to hypnotize me, but it didn’t work. Hypnosis is way overrated. Dr. Brad said that geniuses are really hard to hypnotize.”

Andrea and her girly friends were listening to us, as usual.

“I bet it would be
really
hard to hypnotize
me
then,” said Andrea.

“Oh, I could probably hypnotize you in a minute,” I told Andrea.

“Could not!”

“Could too!”

We went back and forth like that for a while. Finally, Andrea dared me to try and hypnotize her. I told her I would need a shiny object, so she took off her necklace and handed it to me.

“This is really shiny,” I said. “Stare at it as it swings back and forth.”

“Okay,” Andrea said.

I swung the necklace in front of Andrea’s face.

“Are your eyelids feeling heavy?” I asked.

“Heavy…” Andrea mumbled.

“Stare at the necklace as it swings back and forth…back and forth…back and forth,” I told Andrea. “Are you feeling sleepy?”

“Sleepy…” she mumbled.

“Stare at the shiny necklace as it swings back and forth…back and forth…back and forth,” I told Andrea. “Soon you’ll be in a trance.”

“Trance…” she mumbled.

“Hey, I think it’s working,” Michael said. “Look at her eyes. She’s in a trance!”

“No she’s not,” I said. “She’s just faking it. That’s what I did.”

“I don’t like this, A.J.,” said Emily. She looked like she was going to cry, like always.

“You will do everything I say,” I told Andrea. “You will believe everything I say.”

“Everything you say…” Andrea mumbled like a robot.

“You will listen only to me,” I told Andrea.

“Only to you…” she mumbled.

“And when I snap my fingers, you’ll wake up,” I told Andrea.

“Wake up,” she mumbled.

“A.J., you’re gonna get in trouble,” Ryan said. “She’s like, in another world.”

“Relax,” I whispered. “I’m just having a little fun.”

“It doesn’t look like fun to
me
,” whined Emily.

“You will believe anything I say,” I told Andrea.

“Anything you say…” she mumbled.

“You’re a big dumbhead,” I told Andrea.

“I’m a big dumbhead…” she mumbled.

“Oh, snap!” said Ryan. “She’s
gotta
be in a trance if she would say
that
!”

“That’s mean!” Emily said. “Wake her up, A.J.!”

“You hate school,” I told Andrea.

“Hate school…” she mumbled.

“Following rules is for losers,” I told Andrea.

“Following rules is for losers,” she mumbled. This was fun!

“You’re a bad kid,” I told Andrea.

“I’m a bad kid…” mumbled Andrea.

Making Andrea say she was bad was hilarious. This was the greatest moment of my life.

“Your feet smell like rotten cabbage,” I told Andrea.

“Stop fooling around, A.J.!” Neil said. “It’s almost time to go back inside. You better wake her up before the bell rings.”

“Okay, okay,” I said. “When I snap my fingers, Andrea, you will wake up.”

But I didn’t get the chance to snap my fingers, because at that very moment…

BRRRRING! BRRRRING!

Recess was over.

When the bell rang, we all ran inside the school. Andrea looked like everything was normal.

But I knew something was wrong. When she went running inside, Andrea didn’t even ask for her necklace back. I put it in my pocket.

And she wasn’t acting normal either. As soon as we got into Mr. Granite’s class, Little Miss Perfect put her feet up on her desk, leaned back in her chair, and put both of her hands behind her head. Andrea
never
sits that way. She always sits with her hands folded and her feet on the floor.

“Andrea,” said Mr. Granite, “sit correctly, please.”

“Make me,” Andrea replied.
^*

Well, everybody’s jaws dropped open. Andrea
never
says “Make me.”

“I beg your pardon, Andrea?” asked Mr. Granite.

“I said, Make me!” Andrea shouted. “Why don’t you clean the dirt out of your ears so you can hear?”

“Oooooooooooooooooooooh!”
everybody oooooohed.

“Oh, snap!” said Ryan.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Andrea is usually such a big brownnoser.
She
never
talks back to grown-ups.

“Are you feeling okay, Andrea?” asked Mr. Granite. “Do you know who you are?”

“My name is Andrea, and I hate school,” Andrea said. “Following rules is for losers.”

“Maybe you want to go see Mrs. Cooney, the school nurse,” said Mr. Granite. “Maybe you need to lie down.”

“Maybe you need to shut your face!” said Andrea.

“Oooooooooooooooooooooh!”
everybody oooooohed.

“She’s in a trance!” Emily shouted. “A.J. hypnotized her on the playground. And now she thinks she’s a mean kid!”

“You should shut your face, too,” Andrea told Emily. “You’re an annoying little crybaby.”

“Oooooooooooooooooooooh!”
everybody oooooohed.

Andrea suddenly got up, knocking her chair over. “I’ve had enough of this dump,” she said. “I’m outta here!” Then she stormed out the door.

It was the most amazing thing in the history of the world! And we got to see it live and in person. You should have been there!

But what happened next was even
more
amazing. A few seconds after Andrea stormed out of the classroom…

BRRRRING! BRRRRING!

“Oh no!” Mr. Granite said. “What a terrible time for a fire drill.”

“It’s not a fire drill!” Ryan shouted. “I think Andrea pulled the fire alarm in the hall!”

“We have to leave the building,” Mr. Granite announced. “Everybody line up in single file. Michael, you’re the door holder. Emily, you’re the line leader.”

We all lined up and started filing out of the room. The other classes were in the hallway, too.

“A.J., you’ve got to stop Andrea!” Michael whispered as we marched out of the building. “You’re the one who hypnotized her.”

“What do you want
me
to do?” I asked.

“You just have to snap your fingers and she’ll come out of the trance,” Neil the nude kid said.

Neil was right. Me and the guys rushed out onto the playground. The whole school was there. I looked all around for Andrea so I could snap my fingers and bring her out of the trance.

But she was gone.

Mr. Klutz and our vice principal, Mrs. Jafee, came running out onto the playground. They were followed by Dr. Brad, who was huffing and puffing.

“Vut’s going on?” Dr. Brad shouted.

“Somebody pulled the fire alarm, by golly!” said Mrs. Jafee.

“It was Andrea Young,” Mr. Granite said.

“Are you sure?” asked Mr. Klutz. “That’s not the Andrea
I
know. I’m sure Dr. Brad will be able to calm her down.”

“Vere is Andrea?” asked Dr. Brad. “I must speak vis her.”

“We don’t know where she is,” I told them. “She ran out of the school. She could be anywhere.”

At that moment, the strangest thing in the history of the world happened. We heard a voice from above our heads.

“I’m up here, you dumbheads!”

I looked up. And there, standing on the roof of the school, was Andrea!

“WOW!” everybody said, which is
“MOM” upside down.

It was a real Kodak moment. Kids started pointing at Andrea and yelling.

“She’s crazy!” “She’s nuts!” “She’s loopy!” “She’s bananas!” “She’s off the wall!” “She’s out of her mind!” “She’s loony!” “She’s bizarre!” “She’s off her rocker!” “She’s not normal!” “She’s loco!” “She’s bonkers!” “She’s losing her marbles!” “She’s screwy!” “She’s out of control!”

“How did you get up there, Andrea?” shouted Mr. Klutz.

“How do you
think
I got up here, you big doofus?” yelled Andrea. “I climbed.”

“Oooooooooooooooooooooh!”
everybody oooooohed.

I couldn’t believe Andrea called the principal a big doofus!

“My feet smell like rotten cabbage!” Andrea yelled.

I snapped my fingers to make Andrea come out of her trance. But she was too far away to hear.

“What should we do, Dr. Brad?” asked Mr. Klutz. “You’re the school counselor!”

“Zees ees a very dangerous situation,” Dr. Brad said. “I must talk to Andrea and show her kindness, caring, and understanding.”

“That won’t do anything!” Michael said. “A.J. hypnotized her. She’s only going to listen to him.”

“Ees zees true, A.J.?” asked Dr. Brad.
“You hypnotized Andrea?”

I didn’t have the chance to answer his question, because at that moment a bunch of fire engines and police cars pulled up to the school with their sirens screaming. Somebody must have called 911!

A policeman with a bullhorn got out of one of the cars.

“Get down from there, young lady!” he shouted.

“Come and get me, coppers!” yelled Andrea.

“We don’t want you to get hurt,” another policeman shouted.

“You’ll never take me alive!” yelled Andrea. She picked up a tennis ball off the roof and threw it at the police car.

“Let’s get her, men!” the cop with the bullhorn shouted. The cops started moving toward the wall.

“Vait!” Dr. Brad shouted. “Zees ees a very dangerous situation! Do not go up on zee roof. Zare ees only vun person here who can rescue zees girl.”

Dr. Brad looked at me. Mr. Klutz looked at me. Mrs. Jafee looked at me. The cops looked at me.
Everybody
was looking at me!

I was faced with the hardest decision of my life. If I didn’t save Andrea, something horrible might happen. And if I did save Andrea, the guys would say I was in love with her. I was thinking so hard that my brain hurt.

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I had to think fast.

“I’m going up,” I said.

Everybody cheered as I dug my sneaker into the little space between the bricks. There were a few windowsills I could step on, too. It was hard, but soon I reached the top of the school. I was a few feet from Andrea.

“Get out of my face, A.J.!” she yelled.

I took Andrea’s necklace out of my pocket and
dangled it in front of her eyes. She stared at it.

“You will do everything I say,” I told her.

“Everything you say…” Andrea mumbled.

“You’re a
good
girl,” I said. “You never do anything wrong. You love school and books and learning and being nice to grown-ups. When I snap my fingers, you’ll wake up and go back to the way you used to be.”

“The way I used to be…” mumbled Andrea.

SNAP!

Andrea was startled. She looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time. Then she looked around.

“What am I doing up here on the roof,
Arlo?” she asked.

“You…uh, went a little crazy,” I told her. “Let’s climb back down now, okay?”

“Okay,” said Andrea.

Me and Andrea carefully climbed back down the wall of the school. When we reached the ground, everybody cheered. Andrea gave me a big hug.

“You saved my life, Arlo!” she said.

“Oooooh!” Ryan said. “A.J. saved Andrea’s life. “They must be in
love
!”

“When are you gonna get married?” asked Michael.

If those guys weren’t my best friends, I would hate them.