Echoes of the Heart (2 page)

“No problem
there.
 
We left everything in good
hands.
 
We would not have missed this
joyous occasion.”
 
Smiling, she
whispered, “you being my favorite niece and all.”

Diane’s attention
turned to her husband while Raeden’s thoughts wandered.
 
Perhaps she could talk with her aunt and
dispel some of her ambivalence of the coming event.
 
She had always confided in her aunt because
of the special bond they shared, remembering as a child, her mother speaking
about Diane being wild—how she always defied convention by riding in men’s
clothing, arguing at school, coming home late from dates and insisting on being
treated equal to the males in the family.
 
According to her mother, Diane kept the family in a constant turmoil and
had felt relieved when Diane moved to South Dakota
with her husband, Mike

Raeden too, had
problems with authority and defied her mother regularly.
 
Once in defense of Cynthia, she had actually
gotten into a fight at school.
 
Her
mother had not been pleased.
 
However,
her father seemed occasionally amused as he watched her struggle for
independence.

Whenever she felt
like an outcast, she would go to her aunt for empathy and understanding and
Diane always defended her, causing more dissention between Diane and Raeden’s
mother.

When Diane moved
after the marriage to Mike, her mother immediately arranged for boarding school
in Kansas City and shipped her off,
eager to rid her otherwise orderly life of the rebellious youth remaining a
constant thorn in her side.
 

“Ah, sweetheart,
here you are.”
 
Christopher approached
and bent to kiss her cheek.
 
“You look
breathtaking, as usual, my dear.”
 
His
arm closed possessively around her shoulder.
 
“May I get you something to drink?”

Looking dashing in
his formal attire, his handsome face glowed with a broad smile causing a
crinkle in the corner of his eyes.
 
“Yes,
I would love a glass of wine.”
 
She hoped
it would help settle the sick empty feeling in pit of her stomach.
 
Why couldn’t she feel for Christopher the way
he felt about her, always so attentive and affectionate?

He released his
hold and turned to get one of the sparkling gold-rimmed crystal glasses from
the tall glass-door cabinet standing to his left.

Chatting and
laughing, the rest of her family entered the formal dining room dressed in
their best to please Sophia.
 
Her mother
and father lead the group, followed by Cynthia and her sister-in law, Margaret.
 
Married the previous year, Thomas, the oldest
and Margaret expected their first child in November.
 
All looked so cheerful and happy, much the
opposite of her current mood.
 
She felt
like escaping, taking off where no one would know her.

Thomas and Craig followed
the group entering the room laughing and talking about the previous days
hunting expedition in the fields on the outskirts of town.
 
Both looked handsome with their tall lean
bodies and strong facial features, crowned by a thick top of gleaming black
hair.
 
From a distance, except for the
color of their eyes they might appear twins.

With Thomas and
Margaret in the house, it would be a happy occasion.
 
Everyone missed Thomas immensely, Raeden
being very close to her siblings thought the house not the same without
him.
 
She could not help wondering if her
leaving would also make a difference in the spirit of their family, although
she felt they would probably be relieved of some of the tension seeming to
follow wherever she went.

Gently touching
the top of her forearm, Christopher stood glass in hand and handed her the
wine.
 
His long slender fingers grazed
the top of her bare shoulder while he stood gazing into her eyes.

Startled, she
jumped at his touch.
  
Hoping it would
help ease the queasy feeling, she managed a long unladylike gulp.
 
The closer it got to her wedding day, the
more edgy she became, jumping at loud noises and people coming up behind her.

Her father, always
the gentleman, was a handsome man of fifty.
 
His thick chestnut hair, passed on to Raeden, had a few silver flecks
along temples and sideburns.
 
His hazel
eyes switched from blue-green to dusty olive with golden flecks.
 
He pulled out an upholstered high-back dining
chair at the end of the table for her mother.
 
“Well, shall we sit?
 
Looks like
perfect weather for a wedding, wouldn’t you say?”

 
“It is going to be the most beautiful wedding
this town has ever seen,” her mother responded smiling over the group.
 
Sophia always enjoyed festivities and
planning the wedding of her eldest daughter had become an obsession, every
detail perfect.

All agreed taking
their seats for dinner, chatting while they waited for the first course.
 
The place settings gleamed in the light of
the crystal chandelier hanging over the immense mahogany table standing under a
white lace cloth.
 
The aroma from roast
beef filled her senses making her stomach turn.
 
Sinking into a depression, the thought of eating held no appeal.
 
The sense of impending disaster shadowed her
thoughts and sitting next to Christopher seemed only to enhance her
frustration.

While everyone
dined and talked of the wedding, the dark shroud of doom enveloped her as she
stared blankly, barely touching the food on her plate.
 
However, she consumed several more glasses of
wine, warming her insides and the effect rushing to her brain. The dread of the
following day and all the preparations worsened her melancholy.
 
Should this not be the happiest time of her
life?
 
Instead, she felt trapped in a
snare with little hope of escape.
 
She
picked at her dinner and eventually stopped trying to eat.

While Mary cleared
the table, the men drank brandy on the porch surrounding the entire front of
the house to enjoy while they smoked fragrant cigars leaning on the rail.
 
She poured a glass of brandy for herself
hoping the warm liquid would help settle her nerves.
 

Preferring the
outdoors on such a warm evening, she joined Christopher out on the porch.
 
Christopher, an extremely good-looking man
with his blue eyes and long lashes, stood over six feet tall and by far the
most eligible bachelor in the area.
 
Most
woman would be happy to have him for a husband, she apparently not one of
them.
 

She could not
understand exactly why she hesitated.
 
Christopher made a good companion and she did enjoy his company.
 
He could make her laugh and they discussed
books they had read, politics and shared stories from their childhood.
 
Always a gentleman, he treated her with
respect but deep down Raeden knew she would not be happy in the life expected
of her as a woman of society.
 

Christopher’s
voice held a slight note of sarcasm as he looked down into her eyes.
 
“So, my dear, don’t you think you have had
enough to drink tonight?
 
I noticed you
did not eat supper and consumed a lot of wine.”
 

Startled by his
authoritarian comment, Raeden stood straight backed, chin held high while a
hand dropped by her side, her mouth furrowed in defiance.
 
“Well, I don’t know what business it is of
yours.
 
We’re not married yet.”
 
He could not order her around in such a
fashion even though he attempted to make it appear concern.
 
She turned briskly and stormed into the house
letting the screen door bang behind her.
 
After downing the remainder of the brandy, she raced up the stairs,
slamming her bedroom door.
 
She plopped
on her bed in defeat, wondering why she had been so rude.
 
She stared wildly across the room, knowing
deep in her mind he had no right to make such comments.

Within minutes,
she heard footsteps approach and a knock at her door, “May I come in, Rae?
 
I certainly didn’t mean to upset you.
 
Perhaps we can talk.”

As tears stung her
eyes, fury mounted.
 
“Go away.
 
I don’t want to see anyone.”
 
She threw herself on her bed and began
sobbing.
 
What on earth is wrong?
 
Am I going mad
?
 
While her body trembled, a nauseous feeling
crept into her stomach as she pictured him returning downstairs, face flushed
with embarrassment, a deep frown curling his lips.
 
Knowing her mother would be in a state,
probably overheated and fanning herself.
 
She did not look forward to tomorrow when she would have to face all the
criticism sure to await her at the breakfast table.
 

She heard her
father’s voice out her bedroom window drifting from the front porch.
 
“Come out and join us, Chris.
 
Finish your cigar.
 
Don’t worry, son.”
 
She visualized her father putting an arm
around his shoulder.
 
“Once she is
married, she’ll settle down.
 
I am sure
she just has a lot to consider and we both know she can be temperamental at
times.
 
It’s a big adjustment.”
 
She knew her father really did like
Christopher and considered him almost as a son and she never liked
disappointing him.
 
“Sit down and tell me
about the house you purchased.
 
I
understand it is the Hanford
estate.”

Overhearing her
father’s gentle words, tears began to sting her eyes while she felt her cheeks
burn.
 
A knock on the door brought her
upright and hearing her brother’s voice at the door, she cringed.

Seeing Tom when
the door slowly opened, she hid her face in the pillow, hearing his muffled
footsteps over the thick Persian carpet as he neared the bed.

“What’s the
matter, Rae?”
 
He knelt by her bed and
stroked her hair gently.
 
“Tell me what’s
wrong.”
 
He had always been a kind
brother, protective when she allowed.

Wiping her eyes on
the kerchief he offered, she sat to face him.
 
Her face felt swollen and hot from sobbing out of control.
 
Tom reached for her and she went into his
arms for comfort and solace.
 
He had
always been there for her.

Tears rolled
slowly down her warm cheeks.
 
“Oh, Tom, I
don’t know what’s happening to me.
 
I
just feel empty inside”

“Well, it’s
understandable, Rae.
 
You will be leaving
the family and I’m sure you will miss them.
 
I had a little adjusting to do myself.
 
However, you will have your own family now and you’ll be happy.
 
It’s the way things should be, you
know.”
 
He released her and peered into
her watery eyes.

“You’re probably
right.
 
I just feel like something is
missing, something vital.
 
Do you
understand what I mean?”
 
She dabbed her
eyes with a handkerchief as she spoke.

“Not
exactly.”
 
He drew away with a frown.
 
“Tell me, do you love Chris?”

“Well...I think I
do.
 
He is really a good man and will be
a great provider for his family.
 
Oh, I
don’t know, maybe I’m just crazy.”
 
Her hands
formed small fists and she dropped them into her lap.

“I don’t know,
sweetheart.”
  
A look of concern crossed
his face.
 
“If you don’t feel like you
love him as a wife should then maybe you should reconsider.”

“Oh, God, Tom, I
could not embarrass the family, and Christopher would never forgive me.
 
I’m going through with this.
 
I made a promise.”
 
She stood and began pacing, wringing the
handkerchief in her hands while he continued to stare directly at her.

“Of course, it’s
up to you.
 
Nevertheless, you know I will
love you no matter what happens.
 
I
certainly don’t want to see you unhappy for the rest of your life.”
 
He stood to leave and she rose to give him a
hug.

“Thanks,
Thomas.
 
I just needed someone to talk
with.
 
I feel much better now,
really.”
 
Hoping she hid her ambivalence,
they walked arm in arm to her door.

“Okay, I’ll see
you soon and dressed in my finest.”
 
His
smile warmed her and she watched him walk down the hall toward the staircase.

On tiptoes, she
crept to the end of the hall to listen to the conversation below.
 
“Raeden is fine.
 
She just needs some sleep.
 
Maybe it would be best to leave her alone
until morning.
 
I’m sure she will feel
better tomorrow.”