Effortless (24 page)

“Is that good-looking boy with you?”

Shaking my head, I murmured, “No, Ma’am.” A little sadly, I
added, “He had to leave town for a while.”

The grandmother patted my arm consolingly. “Well, that’s too
bad.” She leaned in to whisper, “He was very easy on the eye.” I
giggled as the woman leaned back. Yes, Kellan was very easy on the
eye…effortless to look at. Shrugging her sagging shoulders, she
added, “His bottom was very nice, too.”

Jenny snorted, then girlishly slapped her hand over her mouth.
Rachel popped her head up over my shoulder and giggled at the
spunky old lady.

The neighbor’s gnarled hand pointed across to where the raging
party had been going until the early hours of today. “That was some
celebration you all had.” Her eyes glassed over, reminiscing. “I
used to tip back a few in my youth.” Shaking her head, she grinned.
“It was illegal back then, so we all met underground, in secret
places.” She lifted the envelope. “We had to pay people to keep the
coppers away, too.”

Shaking my head at her, I smiled wider. Man, she was way older
than I’d anticipated. I hoped I was as put together as she was when
I was in my nineties. Glancing at all of our tired faces, she
squinted her graying eyes. “You all look like you’re suffering from
the excess. Why don’t you come in…I have the perfect cure.”

Jenny and I looked at each other and shrugged. My headache had
dialed back at lot since this morning, but it still ached and
throbbed, especially when I moved my head too fast.  Plus, I
hadn’t dared to eat anything yet. My stomach was only mildly
queasy…I didn’t want to push it over the edge. Maybe the former
flapper knew a sure-fire fix. We’re always being told to listen to
our elders, right? Surely that includes hang-over advice.

So, the three of us spent a good chunk of the afternoon having a
really horrid cup of tea with a surprisingly interesting old lady.
I’d have to tell Kellan all about her when he got back. He’d get a
kick out of her. I probably wouldn’t mention that she enjoyed his
backside, though.

Once finished delivering the rest of our payments, I went home
to get ready for work. Anna was long gone and my home was empty.
Running my hand along the back of Kellan’s favorite chair, the
chair he’d given me when I’d involuntarily moved out of his place,
I wondered where he was now. Probably in the middle of nowhere,
probably out of cell range.

Sighing, I pushed it from my mind and went to take a nice, hot
shower. After a long night of partying, I’d never felt so grimy in
all my life. The ancient woman’s miracle cure kicked in once my
body was cleaned and refreshed, and I amazingly felt one hundred
percent better when I stepped from the shower. Better…and
starving.

After quickly dressing into my work clothes and throwing my wavy
locks into a haphazard pony tail, I made myself a meal fit for a
Queen. Okay, it was a bowl of spaghetti, but I was so hungry it
felt like the best meal on earth going down.

Feeling full and content, more like myself, I pulled my cell
phone out of my jacket and stared at it for a moment. Running my
thumb over the screen, I considered trying to call Kellan. Maybe he
was close enough to a large town that he could pick up a tower now.
On second thought, cell towers lined practically every freeway in
the world nowadays. Maybe I was wrong about him being in the middle
of nowhere. Middle of nowhere didn’t really exist in our world
anymore. With modern technology, you could almost always be found,
anywhere you went.

But, I’d just talked to him this morning, and he had said he’d
call tonight. I didn’t want to be “that girl.” The obsessing
girlfriend that checked in every hour on the hour. I wanted to
learn to live my live fully and completely without him, as well as
with him. That was the mistake I’d made with Denny. Letting my
happiness revolve around him for so long.

When Denny had left for Tucson, it had left a hole in me, a void
that Kellan had filled. I didn’t want to repeat that pattern. I
didn’t want anyone to fill Kellan’s place, now that
he
was
the one that was leaving. So I had to fill the ache of him being
away with something healthy, something all my own. I wasn’t sure
what yet, but I was positive that I could. Losing Denny the way I
had, doing what I’d done to him…that had forced me to grow up
some.

Guilt and regret flooding me, I dialed a number that I hadn’t in
a while, a number that I should really call more often. Bringing
the ringing phone to my ear, I bit my lip while I waited for the
other line to pick up. It did on the third ring.

“Hello?”A familiar voice said happily, clearly mid-laugh.

“Uh, hi…it’s me.” I rolled my eyes at my awkward greeting.
Really, after everything, things between us shouldn’t be awkward
anymore.

“Oh, hey, Kiera.”

Denny’s accent wrapped around my name and I smiled, memories
coming back to me. In the background, I heard a female voice asking
him a question. I instantly did the time zone math in my head and
cringed. It was late Saturday afternoon here, so it was Sunday
morning in Australia. He was probably having a leisurely brunch
with his girlfriend, Abby.

Being the honorable man that I knew he was, Denny answered her
question truthfully. “It’s Kiera. I’ll just be a minute, Abb, then
I’ll show you how to make pancakes without burning them.” In the
background I clearly heard, “That was not my fault! You completely
distracted me.”

Denny chuckled at her and I instantly felt stupid for calling.
He had his own life, he really didn’t need me interfering in it.
Thinking I should just tell him that I’d call back later, his voice
shifted back into the phone. “What’s up? Everything alright?”

I sighed, forcing the image of him with another woman out of my
head. He was happy. That’s all I’d ever wished for him. “Yeah, no,
everything’s fine, Denny. I just, we haven’t…” I sighed again, not
knowing exactly how to put my feelings into words. I’d really have
to work on that, since English was my major. “It’s just…we don’t
get to talk as much as we used to, and the last time we talked
things were…weird. I wanted to make sure you were…okay.”

I bit my lip, hating that I’d brought up that conversation.
Kellan had drunkenly talked about our sex life with him, something
Kellan had been really careful to never do, not since the night of
the fight, the night Denny had broken his arm, nearly broken my
skull.

Denny sighed. “Yeah…I already got a call from Kellan this
morning, Kiera. The two of you really don’t have to worry about me.
You don’t need to walk on eggshells. You don’t need to treat me
with kid gloves. I get it. You’re together. I know what…that
entails. I’m fine with it, Kiera. I left you. I broke up with
you…but I never wanted you to be alone, bab…”

He stopped himself short and my eyes widened. He’d nearly called
me baby, right in front of his girlfriend. I closed my eyes as I
heard him sigh again. “I know,” I whispered. “But still…we don’t
want to hurt you. You’re…a friend…to both of us. A close friend?” I
added, my tone coming out as a question instead of a statement.

Denny chuckled. “You guys are close friends to me too, all
right. So, let’s just skip over this weird part…”

“But…?”

“Kiera, do you want to know if I hurt?” he whispered, his accent
thick with emotion building in it. “Yeah, sometimes I do. I mean,
yes, it sucks that my girl cheated…” I hung my head as he broke off
his sentence with a long exhale. “No, it’s not that you cheated,
Kiera. It’s that you fell in love. If you’d just strayed a couple
of times…I could have…I probably could have looked past that. But
you didn’t…you fell in love. So yeah, that hurts, okay?”

I sniffled, thinking I never should have called him. “I’m
sorry…”

A long moment of silence was all I got to that, then, quietly,
“I know, Kiera. You don’t have to keep saying it. You can’t…you
can’t help falling in love. It’s not a reaction you can control. I
get that, I really do. So please…quit apologizing, I don’t want to
hear it anymore.”

I swallowed and whispered, “Okay.” In my head I added another,
I’m sorry
. I probably always would with him.

 I pictured his dark brown eyes staring at me, a hand
coming up to run through the piecy, dark hair. After another moment
of silence, he finally spoke again. “What are you going to do with
Kellan gone for so long?” Almost like he didn’t want me to take
that the wrong way, he added, “I mean, what are you going to do to
keep yourself busy?”

I chuckled a little, in a not humorous way. “No, you mean am I
going to cheat on him?” He didn’t say anything and I sighed. “No, I
would never hurt someone like that again. It’s not the person I
want to be.” Exhaling softly, I said, “I had a boyfriend once who
was the best person I’d ever known. Honorable, loving, sweet…sappy.
He’s who I aspire to be someday.”

He chuckled now. “Well, sounds like you were an idiot for
letting him go.”

I grinned, shaking my head. “Yes, I don’t think that’s ever been
in question.” 

Denny laughed genuinely and I reveled in the sound, my mind
picturing the goofy grin he always got, the warmth in his deep
eyes. Once the moment of levity leveled, he asked, “What about
Kellan? Do you think he’ll be…honorable?”

I blinked that he’d basically asked me if Kellan would cheat on
me. As if, he too, questioned the solidity of our relationship.
“Um, yeah, I think so…” I bit my lip, hating that I couldn’t give
Denny a definite and resounding, “Yes, of course, don’t be
ridiculous.” That sort of bravado was pointless with Denny, though.
We both knew Kellan’s past, and we both knew how Kellan and I had
gotten together. Kellan was capable of being with someone in
immoral situations. Our relationship was proof of it.

Denny sighed. It was a sympathetic sound. “I’m sure he’ll be
good, Kiera.” He paused a minute while we both reflected on his
statement. Softly he added, “He’d be an idiot not to be.”

I smiled and sighed, feeling oddly reassured and a little sad.
It wasn’t as if I’d left a bad relationship for a better one. I’d
left a good relationship for a different, and also good, one.
Things would have been easier if I could have painted Denny as an
abusive, emotionally cutoff asshole. But he wasn’t. He was as close
to the perfect boyfriend as they come. Truly, his habit of getting
wrapped up in his work was his only real fault. And that was pretty
minor, compared to the horror stories that I’d heard out there.

Shaking my head, I murmured, “Abby is very lucky, Denny.
You’re…a really great guy.”

He laughed once. “Yeah, I tried to tell you that…”

I laughed once, too. “I know…I miss you.” He didn’t respond and
I quickly added, “I should let you get back to your brunch. It
sounds like you have some cooking to do.” I did miss him, his
friendship, his sweetness, his loyalty…but I shouldn’t tell him
things like that. Kellan had my heart, wholly. I didn’t want to be
misleading.

Denny started chuckling, and I could hear the joy come back into
his voice. “Yeah, Abby is many things, but cook isn’t one of them.
I don’t even know how a person messes up pancakes…they’re sort
of…unscrew-up-able.”  I smiled, knowing that I couldn’t seem
to make a decent pancake either. I guess Abby and I had at least
one thing in common. Well, two really. We both deeply cared for
Denny, just in different ways now.

“Goodbye, Denny.”

“Goodbye, Kiera. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

I started to respond to that but he clicked off the line. “I
hope so,” I said anyway, the dust bunnies the only things around to
hear me.

Walking into Pete’s a while later, I couldn’t help but look up
at the empty stage. Jenny’s beautiful drawing stood out on the
black wall, and seeing our boys immortalized did help to ease the
ache. But I’d really rather walk in on the foursome slinging back
cold ones. That was one of my favorite things about working at
Pete’s—waiting on the band. Even Griffin, in a weird, unexplainable
way.

It was a quiet night. Since the fans knew that the band was
gone, only a handful of them came in. Pete let Jenny go home early,
but I stayed late with Kate, wanting to do something productive
with my time.

Exactly at midnight, Kate handed me a note. She had a devilish
grin on her face when she did. I bunched my brows together,
wondering what she was up to. Giggling, her bouncy pony tail
swishing over her shoulders, she pointed at the folded piece of
paper she’d handed to me. “Kellan made me promise to give this to
you at exactly midnight tonight.”

Her topaz eyes lit up as she sighed. “He was so sweet when he
asked. Sigh…I need a boyfriend again.”  She twisted her lips
and glided off after her comment, leaving me wondering when Kellan
had talked to her. When Kellan had talked to everybody. He sure had
been busy before he left.

My heart started to beat a little harder as I held his note in
my hands. I leaned back against the bar. Rita, sullen as she stared
at the empty stage, the half-empty bar, ignored me. Biting my lip,
I unfolded the note. It wasn’t sealed in any way, so I was pretty
sure that Kate had already read it, but upon glancing at his
handwriting on the paper, I didn’t care. I was too happy that he’d
left me another surprise.