Effortless (50 page)

I flushed and swallowed, wanting to assure him that I wasn’t the
one who was pregnant, but not knowing how to at this point. He
wouldn’t believe anything I said right now. Having no idea what to
say, I found myself whispering, “I’ve only been with you…”

He curled his lips into a sneer. “Until today, we hadn’t had sex
since December,” his eyes rested on my stomach, “and I intimately
know that you’re not showing yet, so you’re
not
four or
five months along.” His hate-filled eyes flashed up to mine. “I’m
not stupid, Kiera…I know the kid isn’t mine.”

I swallowed and tried to tell him that I wasn’t pregnant, but he
didn’t let me speak. Bringing his face right into mine, he seethed,
“If you’re still going to try denying that you slept with Denny,
then go ahead, Kiera…tell me the only thing you can. Tell me you
were raped.” His eyes flashed, the anger in them powerful enough to
make my knees start shaking. “I dare you,” he added.

My jaw dropped at where he’d taken the conversation. Anger
surged through me and my hand came out to smack him. I was inches
from his face when I stopped my hand. I couldn’t blame him for
saying that to me, thinking what he thought. It was his history
coming around to bite me in the ass. His mom had done it to his
dad, and his dad had hated Kellan for it, in utero.

Kellan didn’t even flinch from my near-strike. He only continued
staring me down. I dropped my hand and Kellan smirked at me.
Shaking his head, he quietly said, “You can leave now.”

My eyes tearing up, I whispered, “You’re so wrong…”

Turning away from me, he started walking into the living room.
“Am I?” he tossed over his shoulder.

Balling my hands into fists, I started to follow him. “Yes, you
are completely off on this one. I didn’t sleep with Denny, I didn’t
sleep with anyone. I’m not the one who—”

His jacket, hanging on a hook near me, chirped, signaling a new
text message. Remembering why I’d really come here— to get the
truth from him, the hypocrite— I made a beeline for his coat. His
eyes widened as he realized what I was doing.

“Kiera, no!”

He moved towards me fast, but I was much faster. I had the phone
retrieved and the message displayed before he got anywhere near me.
Shaking my head, I read the text aloud to him. “Call me. I need to
see you.” My voice shook in my own sudden anger.

Kellan’s face was pale as he looked at the phone and my eyes,
seeming like he was afraid about what I might do. His hand shaking,
he extended it to me. “Please, give it back, Kiera.”

Gripping it tighter, my body shaking as his secret started
bubbling to the surface, I shook my head. “No, no I think I’ll text
the hussy back.” I started to type in a message, but Kellan…flipped
out.

Running to my side, he snatched the phone away and shoved my
shoulder. He’d pushed me into the jacket hooks and a flash of pain
went through me as I scraped against one. I winced and rubbed my
arm. Kellan’s eyes softened apologetically, but he clenched the
phone to himself in relief.

Shaking my head, tears in my eyes, I snapped, “Who’s the liar
now, Kellan!”

He shook his head, his face still pale. “This is different. This
isn’t about you and me.”

I put my hands on my hips, confused. “Then tell me the truth.
What are you hiding?”

His eyes flashed to my body, hardening up again. “It doesn’t
concern you, and I don’t have to tell you anything anymore.”

Stubborn, angry tears leaking down my cheeks, I threw my hands
in the air. “Fine, keep your fucking secrets, Kellan.” He blinked
at my seldom used swear, then gritted his jaw.

Knowing nothing good would happen if I stayed, I twisted back to
the front door. He did nothing to stop me from opening it. The cool
night air refreshing my face, I paused as I stared out into the
empty night. Feeling just as empty inside, I tossed over my
shoulder, “And just so you know, I’m not pregnant, asshole…Anna is.
Griffin knocked her up in Boise and she’s freaking out about
it.”

With those words, I stepped outside, slamming the door shut
behind me.

I was halfway across the street, having no idea where I was
going, since I didn’t feel like going anywhere, when Kellan opened
his front door. “Kiera, wait!” He yelled at me to stop, but I
didn’t. We were done. I didn’t have to listen to him anymore…and I
was pretty pissed off.

I was on the other side of the street when he finally caught up
to me. Breathing heavier, he jerked my arm to make me stop. A
slight wind whipped around the light lounge pants I was wearing,
but I barely felt the chill. I had way too much adrenaline in
me.

His gorgeous face looking like I’d just told him that pigs had
started flying, he stared at me open-mouthed. “Anna? Anna’s
pregnant?”

I jerked my arm away from him, raising my chin. “Yes.” My answer
was crisp, as clipped as I could make the sound.

He flinched at my tone, then tenderly tried to put his hand on
my arm. I pulled away, not letting him touch me. “Why didn’t you
tell me?” he whispered.

I sighed, feeling the tug of love in my soul as his sad eyes
flicked over my face. I wanted to forgive him everything, but I
couldn’t. I didn’t trust him. “Anna made me promise not to say
anything.” Hanging my head, I added, “She’s not sure if she’s
going…to keep it.”

Kellan’s body straightened in my vision. I peeked up at his
face, the light wind ruffling his hair. His eyes were cautious.
“She’s not…she’s not going to…”

He swallowed, not finishing his question. I shook my head,
understanding it. “No, she’s going through with the pregnancy,
she’s just not sure about…adoption.” I sighed again, hoping my
sister didn’t go that route. Even being half-Griffin, I wanted to
know my niece or nephew. It wasn’t my choice, though, and I’d
support her, no matter what she decided.

Kellan let out an exhale. “Oh, good, I’d hate for…”

He trailed off and bit his lip. I watched his contemplative
eyes. Kellan could have been an aborted baby, his mom had had
reason enough. I supposed he had a strong feeling on the matter,
since he could have easily never been born. I wondered how he felt
about adoption, since that might have been an easier childhood for
him. Then I hardened my heart again. It didn’t matter what he
thought…not anymore.

Just as Kellan rolled his eyes and muttered, “Damn Griffin…I’m
gonna kill him…” I twisted to keep walking down the street to
nowhere.

Kellan didn’t let me get five paces before grabbing my arm
again. “Wait…please.” I reluctantly looked back at him and he
shrugged. “I’m sorry, Kiera…please don’t walk away.”

Pain and anger stinging my eyes, I removed his hand from mine.
“You basically called me a whore and said you never wanted to see
me again. Why shouldn’t I walk away?”

Hanging his head, he shrugged. “I didn’t know.” He peeked up at
me. “I thought… Seeing Denny here…and then…those tests…” He
swallowed and closed his eyes. “I just thought…I thought what
happened to my dad happened to me. I thought you had another man’s
baby in you. I was just…angry. I’ve never felt that ill…” He opened
his eyes and tilted his head. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t believe
you.”

I nodded, understanding how he’d come to the conclusion he had.
His face relaxed at seeing me acknowledge his apology. He started
to wrap his arms around me and I stiffened, pushing him back. He
scrunched his brows together and I lifted my hand, showing him the
ring encircling my finger.

“I kept my promise…I was faithful.” I jerked my thumb back at
the house, where his phone was safely tucked away. “Were you?”

His eyes looked back to the house and he bit his lip. Twisting
back to me, his eyes latched onto the metal around my finger, then
down to the matching ring on his hand. “Kiera…it’s not what you
think.”

I grabbed his cheek, forcing him to look at me. “I don’t know
what to think, because you won’t talk to me. What does that text
mean?” I whispered.

His cheek was cool in the night breeze, but seemed even cooler
as he stared at me with fear in his eyes. “I can’t…I don’t think I
can…”

He stammered for more to say and I shook my head, angrily. “You
have to tell me now, Kellan, because this is tearing us apart.” I
pointed down the road, to the stop sign that indicated the end of
his street. “Tell me now…or I keep walking, and we really do end
this.”

He shook his head, tears in his eyes. “Please, don’t leave
me.”

Even though his face made me want to cave, even though I wanted
nothing more than to throw my arms around him, kiss him, beg him to
take me upstairs and make love to me again, but slowly this time, I
forced myself to hold firm on my ultimatum. It was now or
never.

I raised my eyebrows, waiting. He swallowed, then scrubbed his
eyes. “Ugh, Goddamn it…” he muttered. Closing his eyes, he took a
few deep breaths. When he opened them again, he seemed…resigned.
“Okay, I’ll tell you.” He looked around the empty street. “But not
here, alright…let’s go back inside…”

I exhaled a shaky breath, resigned as well. Whatever this was
between us was finally going to be put out in the open…and I wasn’t
entirely thrilled about it. Kellan took my hand and led me back to
his house. He kept his head down the entire way and I watched a
shiver go through him. I figured it wasn’t from the light breeze
either.

Back inside, he indicated his lumpy couch as he gently shut the
door. It was the first time in a while that a door had been shut
quietly around us. As I sat down, he started pacing in front of me.
It spiked my nerves and I wanted him to sit down. He seemed to need
the release of movement, though, so I said nothing. 

Shifting back and forth, he wiped his palms on his jeans, like
he was nervous. It was odd to see on him, he very rarely got
nervous. Glancing at me at every turn in his back and forth strut,
he still didn’t say anything. Thinking he wasn’t going to be able
to, I tried starting the conversation. “Who was that on the
phone?”

He stopped and brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose.
“Ugh, I can’t…start there, Kiera.”

I bit my lip, nodding and waiting for him to start where he
could. Sighing, he stopped moving and stood in front of me. Running
his hand down his face, his expression so worn I thought he might
drop at any moment, he shook his head. “Back in December, a girl
came up to me backstage.”

I felt my stomach tighten as he paused. So it
was
about
a girl? I wished I could say I was shocked…but I wasn’t. Seeing my
expression, Kellan slumped a little. “She told me…”

As Kellan stopped to swallow, a sudden burst of insight hit me.
It was so obvious. I didn’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner.
Dread and sadness filled me as I completely understood. “She told
you that you have a child…right? Sometime in your life, you weren’t
safe…and now, somewhere out there, you’ve got a kid.”

Tears filled my eyes as my vision of a future with Kellan
irrevocably shifted. He’d never shut out a child and I’d have to
share a piece of him with another woman…forever. Sadness that I
wasn’t the one to have his firstborn nearly overwhelmed me, and a
lone tear rolled down my cheek.

Seeing it, he squatted in front of me. Cupping my cheek, he
shook his head. “No, Kiera…that’s not it at all.” Sighing, he
rested his head against mine. “There isn’t a miniature version of
me out there anywhere, Kiera…okay?”

Swiping my fingers under my eyes, I scrunched my brows, even
more lost than before. “Then what is it, Kellan? Because I really
don’t understand.”

He sat back on his heels, his head down. “I know you don’t. And
I know it seems like I’m hiding an affair…” Looking up at me, he
shrugged. “Do you really not see, knowing what you know about me,
what might make me…lie to you?”

Pain flashed through me that he’d openly admitted to lying. More
tears running down my face, I shook my head. He exhaled, looking a
little defeated that he’d have to tell me, that I couldn’t guess it
so he wouldn’t have to say it. Closing his eyes, he whispered, “She
told me that she wanted me to meet…her father.”

When he opened his eyes, they were moist. I blinked, surprised.
“Father? That’s…odd.”

Kellan smiled sadly, shaking his head. “Yeah, well, she seems to
think that…he might be my father, too.”

He’d said it so quietly that it took me a moment to register the
words. When I did, my mouth dropped open. “Your father, too? So
she’s your…?” I blinked, my mind still processing. “Wait, your
father
? Your biological father? Is he? Is she…your
sister?”

“Yes, she showed me an old picture of him and even if the
resemblance hadn’t made it painfully obvious…I’d seen the same
picture before. Mom showed it to me once…” Kellan swallowed, his
eyes brimming with tears as he held my gaze. “And I can’t, Kiera, I
just can’t see him…I can’t do it.”

I was so floored, I had nothing to say. I stared at him in
complete shock. Every scenario that I’d ever dreamt up about
Kellan’s secret revolved him keeping the truth from me because of
guilt, because of a girl. I’d never once imagined that he’d been
hiding things from me out of pain, because he couldn’t deal with
the situation.