Eleanor & Park (32 page)

‘Like hell it isn’t,’ his dad

roared. ‘Go wash your face, Park.’

Park stayed where he was.

‘Go wash your face. Park.’

Park took a bite of cereal.

‘Jamie …’ his mom said.

‘No, Mindy.
No
. I let these

boys do pretty much anything they

damn well please. But, no. Park is

not leaving this house looking like

a girl.’

‘Plenty of guys wear makeup,’

Park said.

‘What? What are you even

talking about?’

‘David Bowie,’ Park said.

‘Marc Bolan.’

‘I’m not listening to this. Wash

your face.’

‘Why?’ Park pushed his fists

into the table.

‘Because I said so. Because

you look like a girl.’

‘So what else is new?’ Park

shoved his cereal bowl away.

‘What did you say?’

‘I said,
what else is new
? Isn’t

that what you think?’

Park felt tears on his cheeks,

but he didn’t want to touch his

eyes.

‘Go to school, Park,’ his mom

said softly. ‘You miss your bus.’

‘Mindy …’ his dad said, just

barely restraining himself, ‘they’ll

tear him apart.’

‘You tell me Park all grown up

now, almost man, make own

decisions. So let him make own

decisions. Let him go.’

His dad didn’t say anything;

he’d never raise his voice to

Park’s mom. Park saw his

opportunity and left.

He went to his own bus stop, not

Eleanor’s. He wanted to deal with

Steve before he saw her. If Steve

was going to beat the shit out of

him for this, Park would prefer

that Eleanor not be in the

audience.

But Steve hardly mentioned it.

‘Hey, Park, what the fuck,

man, are you wearing makeup?’

‘Yeah,’ Park said, holding

onto his backpack.

Everyone

around

Steve

tittered, waiting to see what would

happen next.

‘You kind of look like Ozzy,

man,’ Steve said. ‘You look ready

to bite the head off a fucking bat.’

Everybody

laughed.

Steve

bared his teeth at Tina and

growled, and then it was over.

When Eleanor got on the bus,

she was in a good mood. ‘You’re

here! I thought maybe you were

sick when you weren’t at my

corner.’ He looked up at her. She

looked surprised, then sat down

quietly and looked at her hands.

‘Do I look like one of the

Solid Gold
dancers?’ he asked

finally, when he couldn’t take any

more quiet.

‘No,’

she

said,

sidelong

glancing, ‘you look …’

‘Unsettling?’ he asked.

She laughed and nodded.

‘Unsettling,
how
?’ he asked

her.

She kissed him with tongue.
On

the bus
.

CHAPTER 36

Park

Park told Eleanor not to come

over after school. He figured he

was grounded. He washed his face

as soon as he got home and sent

himself to his room.

His mom came in to check on

him.

‘Am I grounded?’ he asked.

‘I don’t know,’ she said. ‘Did

you have a good day at school?’

Meaning, did anyone try to

flush his face down the toilet?

‘It was fine,’ he said.

A couple of kids had called

Park names in the halls, but it

didn’t hurt like he thought it

might. Lots of other people said

he looked cool.

His mom sat on his bed. She

looked like she’d had a long day.

You could see her lipliner.

She stared at a jumble of
Star

Wars
action figures piled up on

the shelf over his bed. He hadn’t

touched them for years.

‘Park,’ she said, ‘do you …

want
to look like girl? Is that what

this about? Eleanor dress like boy.

You look like girl?’

‘No …’ Park said. ‘I just like

it. I like the way it feels.’

‘Like girl?’

‘
No
,’ he said. ‘Like myself.’

‘Your dad …’

‘I don’t want to talk about

him.’

His mother sat for another

minute, then left.

Park stayed in his room until

Josh came to get him for dinner.

His dad didn’t look up when Park

sat down.

‘Where’s Eleanor?’ his dad

asked.

‘I thought I was grounded.’

‘You’re not grounded,’ his dad

said, concentrating on his meat

loaf.

Park looked around the table.

Only Josh would look back at

him. ‘Are you going to talk to me

about this morning?’ Park asked.

His dad took another bite,

chewed

it

carefully,

then

swallowed. ‘No, Park, at the

moment I can’t think of a single

thing I’d like to say to you.’

CHAPTER 37

Eleanor

Park was right. They were never

alone.

She thought about sneaking

out again, but the risk was

incomprehensible, and it was so

effing cold out she’d probably

lose an ear to frostbite. Which her

mom would definitely notice.

She’d already noticed the

mascara. (Even though it was

brown and said ‘Subtle, Natural

Look’ right on the package.) ‘Tina

gave it to me,’ Eleanor said. ‘Her

mom’s an Avon lady.’

If she just changed Park’s

name to ‘Tina’ every time she lied,

it only felt like one big lie instead

of a million small ones.

It was kind of funny to think

about hanging out at Tina’s house

every day, doing each other’s

nails, trying on lip gloss …

It would be awful if her mom

actually met Tina somewhere, but

that didn’t seem likely – her mom

never talked to anybody in the

neighborhood. If you weren’t

born in the Flats (if your family

didn’t go back ten generations, if

your parents didn’t have the same

great-great-grandparents),

you

were an outsider.

Park always said that was why

people left him alone, even though

he was weird and Asian. Because

his family had owned their land

back when the neighborhood was

still cornfields.

Park.

Eleanor

blushed

whenever she thought about him.

She’d probably always done that,

but now it was worse. Because he

was cute and cool before, but

lately he seemed so much more of

both.

Even

DeNice

and

Beebi

thought so.

‘He looks like a rock star,’

DeNice said.

‘He looks like El DeBarge,’

Beebi agreed.

He

looked

like

himself,

Eleanor thought, but bolder. Like

Park with the volume turned way

up.

Park

They were never alone.

They tried to make the walk

from the bus to Park’s house last

forever, and sometimes, they’d

hang out on his front steps a while

… until his mom opened the door

and told them to come in from the

cold.

Maybe it would be better this

summer. They could go outside.

Maybe they could take walks.

Maybe he’d get his driver’s license

after all …

No. His dad hadn’t even

spoken to him since the day they

fought.

‘What’s up with your dad?’

Eleanor asked him. She was

standing one step below him on

his front stoop.

‘He’s mad at me.’

‘For what?’

‘For not being like him.’

Eleanor looked dubious. ‘Has

he been mad at you for the last

sixteen years?’

‘Basically.’

‘But it always seemed like you

got along …’ she said.

‘No,’ Park said, ‘never. I

mean, we were kind of getting

along for a while, because I finally

got in a fight, and because he

thought my mom was being too

hard on you.’

‘I knew she didn’t like me!’

Eleanor poked Park’s arm.

‘Well, now she likes you,’ he

said, ‘so now my dad is back to

not liking me.’

‘Your dad loves you,’ she

said. It seemed to really matter to

her.

Park shook his head. ‘Only

because

he

has

to.

He’s

disappointed in me.’

Eleanor laid her hand on his

chest, and his mom opened the

door.

‘Come in, come in,’ she said.

‘Too cold.’

Eleanor

‘Your hair looks nice, Eleanor,’

Park’s mom said.

‘Thank you.’

Eleanor wasn’t diffusing, but

she was using the conditioner

Park’s mom had given her. And

she’d actually found a satin

pillowcase in the stack of towels

and stuff in her bedroom closet,

which was practically a sign from

God that He wanted Eleanor to

take better care of her hair.

Park’s mom really did seem to

like her better now. Eleanor hadn’t

consented to another full-on

makeover, but Park’s mom was

always trying new eyeshadows on

her or messing with her hair while

she sat at the kitchen table with

Park.

‘I should have had girl,’ his

mom said.

I should have had a family like

this, Eleanor thought. And it only

sometimes made her feel like a

traitor to think so.

CHAPTER 38

Eleanor

Wednesday nights were the worst.

Park

had

taekwando,

so

Eleanor went straight home after

school, took a bath, then tried to

hide in her room all night,

reading.

It was way too cold to play

outside, so the little kids were

crawling up the walls. When

Richie came home, there was no

place for anybody to hide.

Ben was so afraid that Richie

would send him to the basement

early that he was sitting in the

bedroom closet, playing with his

cars.

When Richie turned on
Mike

Hammer
their mom shooed Maisie

into the bedroom, too, even

though Richie said she could stay.

Maisie paced the room, bored

and irritable. She walked over to

the bunk bed.

‘Can I come up?’

‘No.’

‘Please …’

Their beds were junior-sized,

smaller than a twin, just barely big

enough for Eleanor. And Maisie

wasn’t one of those stringy,

weightless nine-year-olds …

‘Fine,’ Eleanor groaned.

She scooted over carefully,

like she was on thin ice, and

pushed her grapefruit box behind

her into the corner.

Maisie climbed up and sat on

Eleanor’s pillow. ‘What’re you

reading?’

‘
Watership Down
.’

Maisie wasn’t paying attention.

She folded her arms and leaned

toward Eleanor. ‘We know you

have a boyfriend,’ she whispered.

Eleanor’s heart stopped. ‘I

don’t have a boyfriend,’ she said

blankly – and immediately.

‘We already know,’ Maisie

said.

Eleanor looked over at Ben,

sitting in the closet. He stared at

her without giving up a thing.

Thanks to Richie, they were all

experts

in

the

blank-face

department. They should find

some family poker tournament …

‘Bobbie told us,’ Maisie said.

‘Her big sister goes with Josh

Sheridan, and Josh says you’re his

brother’s girlfriend. Ben said you

weren’t, and Bobbie laughed at

him.’

Ben didn’t flinch.

‘Are you going to tell Mom?’

Eleanor asked. May as well cut to

the chase.

‘We haven’t told her yet,’

Maisie said.

‘Are you going to?’ Eleanor

resisted the urge to shove Maisie

off the bed. Maisie would go

nuclear.

‘He’ll make me leave, you

know,’ Eleanor said fiercely. ‘If

I’m lucky, that’s the worst that’ll

happen.’

‘We’re not going to tell,’ Ben

whispered.

‘But it’s not fair,’ Maisie said,

slumping against the wall.

‘What?’ Eleanor said.

‘It’s not fair that you get to

leave all the time,’ Maisie said.

‘What do you want me to do?’