Elemental Fear (8 page)

Hi where r u all x

A couple of minutes later she replied, saying they were at Granddad’s. That made me smile, thinking of Granddad. I’d have to remember to go see him this weekend. I put my music on and started humming along to the tune of Mumford & Sons “Hopeless Wanderer.” I stripped out of my work clothes and grabbed my purple chequered pyjama bottoms and my purple hoody. I started jumping around my room like when I was a teenager; I loved the freedom of letting the music control me for a few moments.

I felt rather than heard the slam of the front door
. I quickly jumped off my bed, quite breathless and turned my music off. I had a huge smile on my face, slightly exhilarated by my foolish dancing. I walked into the kitchen, feeling light-hearted. But when I saw who was standing there and took in the look in his eyes, I froze. It was another dark mood day for Elliot. His heavy briefcase hit the floor in the kitchen as I entered. His tie was pulled lose, his shirt creased and his suit jacket slung over his arm. Disheveled would describe him perfectly.

"Hey
, how was your day?" I asked, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice.

"In a word
: shit!” he growled. He aggressively pulled out a chair and flopped down.

"Do you want a coffee - "

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me about boy wonder?” He interrupted, angrily.

I shook my head
, not understanding what he meant. I knew who he was referring to, but had no idea what had annoyed him. There was no way he would know Dominic bought me lunch, and we’d eaten in his office.

"I know you’re a fucking idiot, but don't treat me like one. I called into
Mum’s before coming here, and the fuck-turd was there, gloating about being offered a presidency in the business. Now, I was wondering why MY girlfriend decided not to tell me,” he snapped, and the vein on his forehead bulged angrily.

I stood
, completely stunned. I had no idea Dominic had been offered such a promotion. "I had no idea."

"Don't lie to me
," Elliot spat through clenched teeth.

"I swear to you, I had no idea. I don't work directly with Dominic's lab at the moment. I've been put on - "

"You really think I'm an idiot, don't you?” he snapped. "Why does everyone always choose that little piece of shit? He has everything handed to him on a fucking plate. He's never had to fight for anything in his life."

"That's not true
," I insisted. “He’s worked hard to get where he is.” I regretted my words immediately when I saw the black look from across the table.

"That's right
. You stick up for him. You always side with him. Everyone always does. It's fucking pathetic. I'm sick of living in his shadow. Have you any idea what it's like to always be second choice, hmm?” He paused, rubbing his palm across his forehead. "I guess I do have one thing he’s always wanted but was too much of a wimp to take.” He gestured his hand toward me, and the sickening grin on his face made me want to throw up.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Dominic was never interested in me that way
. We were, and still are, just friends." The lie stung my throat. Dominic was everything to me.

"He wanted you
, trust me. Okay, Vanessa is a sexy woman, but she is nothing compared to you." His voice began to soften, and I could sense the anger beginning to leave him behind.

I smiled trying to deter his
anger. Being told something and believing it were two different things, but it didn’t diminish how
nice
hearing it was. I stamped down on the elated feeling, it was heady and dangerous. I wanted to jump and do a happy dance, and cry in frustration at the same time.

"I always feel second best, you know?" His shoulders slumped
, and I panicked not knowing how to react. I should feel pity, and want to comfort him, but I secretly liked him feeling crappy. It felt a little victorious that for once he wasn’t in complete control. "I'm sorry. I - "

"Never be sorry for telling me how you feel
, Elliot." I smiled again, this time feeling a little smugger for finally making him feel weak.

"Come here
.” He commanded, and my new victory dissolved with two simple words. My smile fell from my lips, and my body tensed. He gestured with his hands for me to walk towards him.

I walked around the table slowly
, and he opened his arms for me to sit on his lap. I turned to sit sideways but he grasped my hips and pulled me down to straddle him. He held my hips gently and looked up at me. "You’re incredibly beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, smart, perfect - "

I searched his face, trying to place the alien that had obviously over taken his body. His eyes danced with amusement
. I studied him some more, inwardly questioning whether he was drunk. But he didn’t smell of alcohol.

He continued to mutter words of adoration whilst pressing his lips against mine. I frowned because it had been a very long time since he had behaved this way
. It felt foreign and alarming. This was the man I used to see when we first starting dating. This reminded me of the gentle, sensitive man who could have been a great lifelong friend . But he wanted more, and I didn’t so, he decided to capture and confine me instead of free me.

He pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear and studied my face
. "I love you, so much. You won’t ever leave me." It was a statement not a question, because we both knew why I stayed.

"Say it? I just want to hear it
.” He pleaded. “Say you love me.”

"
I love you, Elliott.” I’ve never felt more pain and self-loathing than I did at that point. I had no one to blame but myself for the situation, and quite frankly, I deserved everything life had served me. But those three special words took a piece of my heart and snapped it into tiny shards every time he made me say them.

In the lab
, I stood at my work station and giggled as Johan walked passed me and poked me in the ribs. "Good morning, gorgeous. I'm taking your sexy little ass out for lunch today.” He leaned over my shoulder and whispered, "do we have a date?" His hand held my waist.

I smiled at him
. "The first part of that sentence was a demand, but now you’re giving me a choice?" I wrinkled my nose in mock confusion.

“Smart mouth
.” He pointed his finger at me, trying to look annoyed, but I could see the sparkle of amusement in his eyes. I stood at the mass spectrometer, waiting for the results from the latest batch of tests.

“Some of us have to show intelligence for the utter lack of it from others
.” I laughed.

Liam chuckled to my left. And Johan stepped back
, holding his hand above his heart. "You wound me, young maiden."

I laughed loudly, as did several others in the lab. "I see
, I will have to sweep thee of thy feet, wench." His ye old English accent was appalling, and made me laugh harder. He grabbed my hand, spun me in a circle and dipped me back over his arm in a dramatic dance finale. My safety glasses slid off my face and clattered to the floor.

"When you two have finished, we are members of the Royal Society of Chemistry
, not The Royal Shakespeare Company –“

“But Eve would make such a lovely Juliet
,” Johan said dreamily and smiled. Dominic’s growl could be heard from across the lab.

“We have work to do
. It’s what you get paid for, Johan. As Senior Management in this company, I’d expect you to set a better example."

Johan didn’t make any attempt to lift me back up
. He simply smiled his usual cheeky grin. I pushed his chest to urge him to correct our posture. I swiftly straightened, righting my lab coat and picking up my glasses. "Sorry," I muttered, my cheeks burning. I daren't look up at Dominic. I could tell from his voice, he wasn't amused.

"Sorry
, boss. But my girl here..." Johan started to say but was swiftly and angrily interrupted.

"May I remind you that this is a pharmaceutical lab not a dating service? Also she is not your
girl...she...is my brother’s girlfriend,” he growled. The latter part of his statement strained his voice.

"It’s not me who needs to remember that
,” Johan muttered under his breath.

I shushed him. None of it went unnoticed by Dominic. The scowl on his face was enough to set off a nuclear reaction. His eyes dropped to Johan’s hands at my waist.

"Eve, I want those samples analysed by 11am,” He demanded and stalked away.

My day went from bad to worse
. My results from the liquid chromatographer LC-MS mass spectrometer messed up, and the column kept binding. It was 11.15am, and I was still nowhere ready to take them to Dominic. Johan sat at his desk when I entered his office.

"Johan, I can't get good separation of the analyst
. There is too much interference to get good readings, and now the standings have to be made up again, because the stability time has passed, and I've had to send samples back three times for further purification. I’ve run out of time, and Dominic wanted the results –“ I check my watch “20 minutes ago." I rubbed my forehead and grabbed my safety glasses off my face.

Johan rose from his chair and lifted my chin to look at him
. He had his usually warm smile on his face. "You need my special touch, don't you? Just admit it, you need these special hands to work their magic.” He lifted his hands and wiggled his fingers.

I smiled weakly
, knowing he was attempting to calm me down. Over the past year, I had come to realise that Johan’s flirty behaviour was nothing to be afraid of. It was his way of being friendly and he meant no malice with it. We were extremely good friends, and I adored our banter. He certainly made some days brighter.

"Just help me
, please. Dominic's going to go ballistic. I'm already late with the results."

"
Okay. I'm done here, anyway. Let me just log off. You go prepare standards, and I’ll programme the next run in on the LCMS."

"Thank you
." I ran back into the lab to prepare another sample.

****

Johan had lived in the UK for nearly two years, but he had only lived in Yorkshire for just over 12 months. Quite frankly, he was still getting used to our ‘quirks.’ I’m sure we had our own take on the English language, or quite possibly we defecated the English language. As my granddad would say, Johan was a ‘reight good lad’ and took our banter quite well.

We sat in a nearby pub
, having a roast dinner. I had convinced Johan to try Yorkshire puddings.

“Well
, I’m not entirely sure of...what is it anyway?” Johan asked, lifting another forkful of his pudding to his mouth. “I was expecting something sweet, not...”

“It’s a batter that you cook in tins in the oven
. It’s a traditional thing to have with a Sunday lunch or roast meat, and it’s an art form to make. I’ve tried countless times to make them, but they never rise. They just come out of the oven like baked pancakes.”

“Hmm
.” he huffed out. I laughed at his facial expression.

We continued to eat a while in companionable silence
. I hadn’t known Johan that long, but I felt a close connection to him, a little similar to my friendship with Dominic, but without the added adoration I felt for Dominic. I felt safe with Johan, although he was flirty, and at first I did struggle with that. But one thing I had observed with my little buddy was that when a woman was truly interested in him, he seriously shied away from her, making excuses.  Before I could contain myself, I blurted out, “Have you got a girlfriend?”

Johan coughed at my sudden and completely off the wall question
. “Erm...no. You know, I don’t.” He looked up at me, and the mischievous grin he sports on a regular basis spread across his face. “Why you wanting to ride the Johan express?” He winked at me.

“What? No! That’s...I wasn’t...” I spluttered
, then he burst out laughing.

“Eve, babe, I'm joking. No
, I don’t have a girlfriend. Nor do I have a boyfriend before you ask.” He pointed his fork at me.

“Oh...I wasn’t...oh...are you gay?” I hadn’t considered maybe he would be gay
, but the fact he mentioned it, made me think –

He laughed again
. “Jesus, Eve, you are on a roll today.” He shook his head joyfully. “No, I'm not gay, but I offered that up because it has been assumed because I don’t date women, that I am gay. But I neither date women nor men. I'm happy as I am, alone and content.” He smiled at me. “When I phone my parents, that’s the first question out of Mama-su’s mouth. ‘Have you found a good woman yet?’ I've told her about you, but I also told her that you broke my heart, because you chose another guy.”

“You did not!” I shrieked at him, a little loudly
, causing the couple to our left to look over at us.

The little shit laughed again
. “I did. But she cussed me out because she realised I wasn’t serious. I think she was ready to come over here and kidnap you on my behalf.”

“You’re horrible.”

”But you love me, right?” He pointed his fork at me again. I smiled and nodded.

“That’s my girl.”

He was a little bit of an enigma really. I knew a little about his family. His dad was the CEO of Ealing US, and he has an older brother, Willem, who also worked for the company. He didn’t give much away about himself personally. But sometimes you could get glimpses, fleeting looks in his eyes that reflected a lost little boy who was searching to belong. Why he never dated was a mystery to me because I can safely say he wasn’t lacking in the looks department. He had a cheeky charm that immediately sucked you in. He was never intimidating, never seemed angry or unhappy. He had the sunniest disposition I had ever encountered, and I think that was why I enjoyed his company so much.

He had short dark hair, and seriously dark eyebrows, they made his look seem menacing.  He had a brooding look about him, as if he lived his life in shadow. He always had a shadow of stubble, and sometimes it was close to a beard. But for all the dark features of his hair, eyebrows and stubble he had the bluest eyes. He also had two small dark freckles on his cheekbone under his
eye. They were so cute.

“How’s the wedding plans coming along? Have you heard from your brother?” I asked
. His older brother, Willem, was marrying his childhood sweetheart, Marissa.

“Yeah
.” He chuckled again. “She has turned into a bit of a monster bride-to-be.”

“Bridezilla
.” I laughed.

“Exactly! Willem said he’s trying to talk her
into coming over here for a visit to try to chill her out a bit, but she’s digging her heels and refusing. Will sounded a little stressed by it all.”

“It would be nice to meet them
.”

“Yeah, they’d love you. I hope they do come over
. I would like to see them before I go home for Thanksgiving.” He looked out of the window, seemly lost in his own world. He let out a loud breath and turned to me, and this was one of his moments when I saw the lost little boy inside. I smiled at him, and within seconds, his usual cheeky self returned.

“So
, are you going to tell me why the lovely Dominic has an even bigger stick up his ass today?” he asked.

I shook my head
. “I...to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what it is. He’s been off for a couple of days now. One minute we are...everything is fine, then he goes all sulky. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what is –“

“He needs to get laid. And more specifically he’s desperate to do the horizontal tango with a seriously sexy lab analyst I know
.” He smiled and winked at me. My cheeks flamed bright red.

I started shaking my head quite violently.

“Come off it, Eve. That guy has it bad. Why do you think he dislikes me so much? Because, come on – I'm totally adorable, and everyone loves me.” He held out his hands to his sides. I turned, seeing two women watching him. He followed my gaze, and when he saw them watching, he wriggled his eyes brows at them. “Ladies.”

I groaned and couldn’t believe his cheesy antics. “Stop it
,” I whispered across to him.

“Is it true you two live next door to each other? And are related? Because I’m sorry
, but the way he looks at you, and you at him, it’s a little creepy knowing you’re related. Incest n’all.”

My cheeks heated again
. “Technically, we aren’t related, not by blood anyway. And secondly, we do not look at each other in any other way than professionally.”

“Well
, then darling, I need to change my professional etiquette, because I can tell you now, I do not watch my secretary like I want to bend her over –“

“Stop! Just...stop. Because for one
, your secretary is like sixty or something, and secondly you are being crude, and it’s not like that. We are friends, nothing more. I’m...with his brother.” That didn’t hurt to say, at all.

“Yeah
, but why? And is it not weird he’s your boss, and you’re neighbours?”

I smiled
. “No, it’s kinda great, really. Dominic has been my best friend since...since I can remember. My mum married his uncle, my step-dad, Alan. I think I was about two years old or maybe a little older. I can’t remember, exactly. Not long after the wedding, Dad’s parents died and left him and Jill, Dominic’s mum, their house. Dad thought it would be a great family home, so he and Jill agreed he would buy her share, and we all moved in next to her. It worked out pretty great because unfortunately when Dominic was seven and Elliott was eight, their dad died in a motorcycle accident. So Dad and Mum helped out because, as you can imagine, Jill had a rough time. Especially Elliott, he was terrible.”

“Poor woman, and boys for that matter
,” he whispered. I nodded my agreement. “So what about your real dad?” he asked.

“Alan is my real
dad. My biological father wanted nothing to do with Mum when she told him she was pregnant. He gave her a choice, him or me. She chose me.”

“Wise woman
.” He smiled.

“My
dad...Alan...is all I have ever known. I adore him, and I think he feels the same. I’ve never felt different from Louise.”

“And Ellie
?” He asked with a frown, knowing I had a little sister also.

“Ah
, well...she is adopted. Mum and Dad wanted more kids in the house, but Mum couldn’t seem to conceive again. They didn’t want tests doing. Mum said it was too stressful. So they decided they would help out kids who didn’t have a loving home, so they became foster carers. We had a couple babies stay with us on short-term care plans, but then Ellie came to live with us. We were initially supposed to have her until she turned one, but then the social worker said she would be put up for adoption, because she couldn’t return to her biological parents. Well, Mum and Dad couldn’t let her go. So, long story short, she became a Beaumont. She asked Mum a few months back why she didn’t have brown hair like the rest of us, and Mum tried explaining everything but I think she’s a little too young. So mum told her that a special fairy brought her to our family because they knew we could love her extra special. That settled her down. I thought Mum would be terrified of telling Ellie she was adopted, but Mum said Ellie was brought to us for a reason, and we will face telling her the truth when she is ready to hear it.”

Johan cleared his throat and looked away. He turned his attention back to me and looked at his watch. “Well
, we best get back,” he said suddenly, taking me by surprise.

“Have I said something wrong?” I asked.

“Not at all. Thank you for sharing with me,” he said, standing.

I stared up at him, frozen by my confusion. “
Okay,” I whispered. I swallowed and tried to smile, but it came across I'm sure as more of a grimace.

He settled the bill
, even though I insisted on paying for my half. And we made our way back to the office. Johan left me at my office and went into the lab, saying he had other results to gather. I sat and stared at the computer screen, feeling a little unsettled by his reaction. Did he feel that my family was broken somehow because we were made up of so many components?

****

I walked into the lunchroom where Johan, Liam, Lucy, Evan and Rebecca, the other lab technicians were having their tea break. They were all engrossed in what seemed to be a titillating conversation. Liam looked at up when I entered and gave me sheepish look. He shook his head and nodded in the direction of the others. Johan was particularly quiet. He had his head down, reading a magazine as if he wasn’t part of their chat.

I headed straight over to the kettle to make a tea.

"Well, I still think he's gay. I’m never wrong," Evan announced proudly.

"Pff, just wishful thinking
, more like," Lucy scoffed. "He is not gay."

"I heard he never has the same woman twice." Rebecca chuckled.

"See," Lucy exclaimed pointing towards Rebecca. "He just hasn't had the right woman to totally rock his world."

Evan snorted his indignation
. "And I suppose you’re going to tell us that's you?"

"Possibly. I'd have him any which way he wanted
." The entire table erupted into laughter. "What do you think Johan?"

"Hey
, leave me out of it. I'm not partaking in the discovery of other men’s sexual exploits. Besides, I hear he’s on the verge of becoming engaged.”

My heart spiked at that
, and I realised they are talking about Dominic. I turned to pour the water into my cup, hoping I could go unnoticed.

"What do you think
, Eve? You know him better than anyone here? Is it true he’s shagged his way through the entire accounting department? Can't wait for him to reach our department." Everyone except Johan snickered.

I frowned as I turned towards the table. Johan gave me an apologetic shrug and lowered his gaze back to his magazine.

"Who?" I asked.

"Who?” Rebecca scoffed with disbelief
. “Dominic, of course. Who else?" I felt my cheeks flame red.

"She knows something
," laughed Evan. "No one innocent, blushes to that extent, without some juicy gossip. Come on, beauty, tell all."

I shook my head and averted my eyes to the floor
. "I...I...don't...I know nothing," I stammered.

"It's a little inappropriate..." Liam offered but was quickly interrupted.

"She knows who his latest conquest is. It's written all over her face." Rebecca clapped her hands, jumping up and down in her seat like an excited child. "Come on, who is it? The man of mystery has a chink in his private armour."

"I..." I shuffled my feet
, uncomfortable, and wished the floor would open up and swallow me.

"Oh
, come on for God’s sake, Eve. Stop dragging it out," snapped Lucy.

I took a deep
, strengthening breath. "It's none of your....our business who he dates. We should remember..."

"Get lost
! You are such a stuck up prude, Eve," Rebecca snarled. “Christ, we’re having fun here –“