Ember (20 page)

My stomach cringed. How had I already forgotten? I let Kai have such an effect on me that I had forgotten why I was so drained in the first place. “No, you’re right. I guess you’ll just have to suffer through today without him.”

Chapter Seventeen

K
ai escorted me from my room to the dining room in silence. I started to realize how awkward it was going to be with him hovering in the corner while Sakari and I ate. Not only because we weren’t on speaking terms, but we really didn’t need a third wheel.

“Do you have to guard inside the dining room? Can you just wait outside or something?” I asked before we reached the main level.

“Oh, so you’d like to be
alone
with Sakari,” he taunted.

Well, yeah. But not because of what he was implying. “It will just be awkward to have you hanging out. It was one thing when there was a group and it was you
and
Declan. Now, this just makes you the third wheel.” His eyes grew confused, and I really didn’t want to have to go through the humiliation of explaining that one so I kept going. “I’d feel more comfortable if you weren’t ease dropping on our conversation or worse—putting in your two cents whenever you felt it was necessary.”

He smirked at the thought, guaranteeing he already intended on being a pain in my butt.

“It’s not like
he’s
the one I need protecting from,” I continued as we descended down the stairs.

“I’ll only agree if you keep the door open,” he negotiated, but his tone wasn’t leaving any room for negotiation. “You can’t know for sure that you don’t need protecting from him.”

“I thought your supersonic hearing would be enough to hear through closed doors,” I retorted.

“It doesn’t mean I want to test it.”

“You don’t think you would be able to hear me screaming?” Now I was just arguing to argue, and I knew it.

Kai knew it, too. “Calliope,” he groaned, and I let a chuckle escape my lips.

“Okay. Okay. We’ll leave the door open so you can hear every bit of our conversation. Just keep your thoughts—and grunts—to yourself, please.”

“Deal,” he agreed dryly.

Sakari was speaking with Evan in the foyer when we approached. As soon as he saw me his eyes brightened, and he excused himself from Evan.

“Calliope, you look beautiful.” He took my hand and brushed his lips against my knuckles.

My stomach did a little somersault. “Thank you. I hope you’re hungry. I’ve heard Shea and Tania have been busy in the kitchen all day.”

“It smells amazing.”

Shea and Tania had our places set at the far end of the table. Sakari pulled out my chair for me on one side then sat across from me. I wasn’t nearly as nervous as I thought I would be having an evening alone with him. If anything, I was a little excited. I actually was actually already thinking about how I didn’t want the night to end, and it had barely begun.

As soon as we were situated, Tania walked in and served me first then placed a plate in front of Sakari. Her rose-colored eyes remained down as she served us.

“Thank you, Tania.” She nodded and offered a small smile, but didn’t linger. After she walked out, I said, “I wish she felt more comfortable around me. I haven’t been able to get her to talk to me. I don’t know if it’s because she despises me, or if I just make her uncomfortable.”

“I don’t see how anyone could despise you.”

I snorted. “You’d be surprised.” But I didn’t really want to get into the near death experience with Sakari, so I decided not to mention Jaryn or Tag.

“How is everything going with your fae back?” Sakari peered at me across from the table. His eyes held hesitation, as though he wasn’t sure if he should breech the topic.

“I’m not sure yet. There were quite a few that didn’t make it back. And one that died right after he returned. Now, it’s as if the kingdom is mourning the loss of them all over again.”

The sunshine in his eyes somehow softened. “I’m very sorry to hear that. If there is anything I can do, I want to help. I know that my family may not have handled the situation with the most sensitivity, and I really would like to make it up to you.”

“I wouldn’t even know what to ask, Sakari, nor do I think there is anything that you could do.” I toyed with the food on my plate, shoving it around aimlessly. My appetite was suddenly nonexistent.

“Very well. Let’s talk about something that’s not quite as depressing, like who designed this
lovely
centerpiece.” I saw a glint of teasing in his eyes and let myself laugh a little.

“It was probably Adelaide. She’s amazing with flowers. I’m almost positive she was behind all the floral décor at the Awakening.”

“Well, I will have to compliment her. I was quite impressed with the preparation that must have gone into the Awakening. It was amazing.”

Our conversation carried on smoothly after that. We talked about my experience with discovering I was fae and the challenge it was to accept it. He wanted to know every detail from what it felt like to grow wings, to what the pulsing felt like when I tried to stay away.

“I’ve never experienced the … pulsing. I suppose I’ve never tried to leave Rymidon before either, though. I’m not sure that’s a normal fae trait. We might feel fatigued after staying away for long periods of time or being near metal, but I’ve never felt a pulsing need to stay close.”

“Really? It wouldn’t leave me alone as I became more and more fae. The pulsing only grew stronger the longer I tried to stay away … like I had two heartbeats.”

“Maybe it’s the fae in you trying to take over the human.”

That thought made me cringe. The human part of me was something I never wanted to lose. It was one thing that still tied me to home.

Once we finished eating, I asked, “Did you come to Faylinn often before Favner closed off the passageway?”

“On occasion, yes. For Royal business, mainly trading. Some little celebrations too.”

“Have you ever been to the Harvest Borough?”

“I can’t say that I have.” He smirked at my sudden enthusiasm.

I peered out the window and watched the sun make its decent in the sky. “The sunset is the most beautiful when overlooking the Harvest Borough. Do you want to see it?”

“Absolutely.”

We leapt through the branches, Kai trailing far behind in the shadows. When we reached the edge of the forest I stopped on a limb facing the colorful orchards and fields. The dimming sunlight touched every piece of nature, accenting the vibrant color in different shades as it began to disappear from sight.

Sakari took my hand, slowly interlocking his soft fingers with mine. I looked down at our hands clasped around one another—Queen of Faylinn and Prince of Rymidon. I gradually let my eyes wander up to his face, but he wasn’t watching me. His prominent jaw was dotted with dark stubble. He gazed out over the Harvest Borough with a peaceful countenance as if our touch was the most natural thing for him. When I didn’t move my gaze he peered over at me with a stomach-dropping, tender smile.

The thought struck me like lightning. He could be my future. And though he may not have been my first choice, I couldn’t deny that he was slowly climbing the ladder.

I swallowed. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Sakari nodded once without looking away from me. “The most.”

I shyly looked away, and after a few moments, he shifted his eyes back to the landscape as we watched the sun completely fade from the sky.

• • •

Sakari accompanied me back to the castle. It felt weird to know Kai was close by, watching us. I peered over my shoulder to find him, but it was just Sakari and me. Kai had camouflaged into the mingling fae. A mixture of relief and nerves stirred inside of me. He wouldn’t have deserted me, so I knew he was keeping an eye on me from somewhere.

Sakari and I passed through the entry gates and across the courtyard to the castle doors. We stood facing one another, and though the night had been anything but, it began to feel like the end of an awkward first date.

“Thank you for allowing me to come into your kingdom and spend more time with you. I know this is all so different for you, and I hope I haven’t made it more difficult.”

“No … no, of course not. You’ve actually done an amazing job at avoiding awkwardness.” I smiled bashfully. How is it that he could make me so nervous? “Thank you.”

Sakari took a step closer to me, making his intentions known. He waited, asking for permission with his shimmering eyes. It occurred to me then that I wanted him to kiss me. So I took a short breath and nodded gently. He touched his fingers to my chin and guided me toward his mouth. I let his lips meet mine, and though it wasn’t technically our first, I thought it should feel like it. I waited for fireworks or butterflies to take over. He kissed me tenderly, and it felt good, but I knew that I should feel more than this. I dug and combed, searching for even the slightest spark that could make this kiss mean more. All I felt was a pleasant warmth spread throughout me.

Sakari pulled back just enough so I could see his eyes and smiled with a charming gleam. “Goodnight, Calliope,” he said softly and kissed me lightly once more.

It could be worse. It could be so much worse.

After Sakari left, I sat in the resting room overlooking the front of the castle grounds. I felt him close by. When I gazed to my right, Kai leaned in the archway with his arms and ankles crossed.

“It’s getting late,” I said. “We could have Dugal take Declan’s place for the night and let you go home.”

“I’m not tired. Sakari was enough of a snooze,” he said with a bored tone.

I chuckled. “I like him,” I defended. “He doesn’t expect me to fawn over his good looks. He actually talks rather than letting his father talk for him and bonus, he keeps his goods all covered up. Win. Win. Win.”

“Wow. You really do have quite the selection to choose from.” Kai walked in and sat beside me.

“You’re telling me. It’s no wonder Favner didn’t bond with another Royal. I doubt his options were any better than mine. Is that why he didn’t bond?”

“I thought that answer would be rather obvious.” He lifted his eyebrows. There was a trace of annoyance hiding in his features, but for once, I could tell that he was trying to cover it up. “Above all things, he didn’t believe in bonding. And he was a greedy … what did you call me before? A prick?”

I laughed. He
remembered
. “Yes.”

“Did I use in it the right way?”

I nodded approvingly.
Look at us having a civil conversation. Miracles do happen.

“Well, he wanted all the power. There was no sharing with Favner. So, naturally he didn’t agree to bond with another Royal. They would have wanted some of the power. And it would have granted another kingdom access to ours.”

I peered over at him. “Do you think it’s possible for me to take that stand?”

His gaze darted to me with something like hope in his eyes, but it vanished immediately. “You’re the Queen. Don’t
you
make the decisions?”

“I’m beginning to learn being Queen doesn’t mean a whole lot if no one respects or understands your decisions. Or if they’re trying to kill you. That doesn’t really weigh in my favor either. Nor can I really be selfish. The kingdoms needs have to be put before mine.”

“Then make them understand.” He shrugged.

“Are you giving me advice, Kai?” I smirked.

“Didn’t realize it was that difficult of a concept to grasp,” he shot back, standing up from the bench.

“And the insults begin again,” I sighed and got to my feet to head to bed. “Thank you. I was beginning to think you left me.”

He rolled his eyes and began his usual departure before I could. “I’ve got to stay true to myself.” As he passed through the archway he whispered, “And I’d never leave you.”

At least that was what it sounded like he said.

But who was I kidding?

Myself obviously.

Chapter Eighteen

I
knew Evan was waiting for an answer to whom I was considering for bonding, so when we met the following day, I finally decided to tell him that Sakari was an option. “But I’m not making any final decisions. I just wanted you to know that I am taking this seriously. I’m doing a lot of thinking. I just want to make sure I make the right decision for everyone.”

I also wanted to leave it open, so that if I found a peaceful solution to change the law, I could. Bonding obviously wasn’t like a regular marriage. I couldn’t one day just say I think I wanted a divorce. Bonding sealed us for our entire existence.

“Calliope, Sakari would be a smart choice. I think he could make Faylinn and you very happy.”

I only nodded because I didn’t want to encourage Evan more. He didn’t need the extra encouragement.

“I also think bonding with Adair’s son would make your father proud.”

That caught my attention. “Really?”

“He admired and trusted Adair. It would be a good choice, Calliope,” he encouraged.

The absence I felt in the center of my chest swelled at the thought of my dad. I missed him so much, I felt like I might crumble. But if I had the approval of bonding with Sakari from him I just might be able to do it.

After we ended our meeting I walked out of the atrium and met Kai holding up the wall with his back.

“I was thinking I’d like to go see Allura. Would you mind walking with me?”

“I don’t think I have much of a choice,” he said flatly. Though it was a typical Kai comment, he packed it with too much hostility for him not to be upset. Even after all the awkwardness yesterday, I thought we had ended on good terms last night.

My brow furrowed, but I didn’t question him as we made our way in silence to their house. I smiled and nodded at Willa and Birdie who were weaving some floral headdresses near the outskirts of the meadow. When Willa saw me, she averted her eyes and wove the flower stems with a bit more force.