Ember (28 page)

I blinked away the sleep, nodded, and let him put me on my feet by his side. I stared at a small shack in the branches made from twigs and vines. It couldn’t have more than one room. “Where exactly is here?”

He opened the tall bark door and let me pass inside. “This is my safe house. When I’ve needed to get away in the past, I’ve come here. No one knows about it except Declan. And that’s only because over the last little while there have been a couple occasions when he needed a place to hide out.”

I was right. It was one giant room. A simple wooden bed lay in the left corner. Though it was more like a low table with blankets. A couple tree stumps sat on the right side of the hut at a table next to a sink. “How come no one else knows this exists? Why doesn’t anyone else live out here?”

“Faylinn is quite large. Most fae don’t remember how large, nor do they care to venture out where their former fellow fae used to live. They’ve relocated to be in close quarters with those left. They like the social interaction. They like being close together, so most wouldn’t even think about building so far away from the kingdom anymore.”

“So the other kingdom members lived out here before they broke off.”

He nodded. “It’s essentially deserted.”

“How long did it take to get us here?”

“It would normally take about thirty minutes, but I took a few detours to be sure we weren’t followed.”

There was one small window above the bed and a couple cabinets above the sink. A very low-maintenance person could live out here if they wanted to. And then it struck me. “So when no one knows where you are, you’re here?”

“Most of the time.”

“How long have you had this place?”

“Since a little after my dad died,” he murmured.

“I know you don’t like to talk about it, but will you tell me what happened to him?” Even though I knew, I wanted to hear it from him. For once I wanted Kai to feel like he could talk to me.

It was obvious that he didn’t want to, but he nodded solemnly and motioned for me to sit at the table. “It was quite a few years ago. Favner had been leading for about one year. I was sixteen close to seventeen.” He swallowed quietly. “My father simply never came home. There was no warning. There was no message. When we went to Favner, all he said was that he died protecting Faylinn. Honorable enough, yes. But no one else knew anything about it. We weren’t at war. Yes, there were disagreements with the other courts, but those were minor, isolated incidents.”

“He was simply gone,” I said. “Did you get to have a burial?”

“With what body?” He looked away and shook his head. “We had a small private ceremony so Favner wouldn’t know about it and try to put an end to it.”

“Favner never said anything more to you about it?”

“Why the sudden interest?” he muttered.

I swallowed back the mass in my throat. “Allura told me about your father.”

Kai’s indigo eyes darted to mine in the darkness. “Did she now? And what did
Allura
have to say about him?”

“Everything,” I said quietly. “I think.”

I saw the shame in Kai’s eyes before he turned away. “Are you sure about that?”

How was I supposed to know?
“Apparently not?”

“If she had told you everything, I doubt you would be here with me right now.”

“Would you like to clarify that for me?” I offered.

His lip curled. “Did she tell you that my father is the reason Favner found you in the first place?”

It wasn’t as if I was surprised, but I sucked in a breath of air from the bitterness that drenched Kai’s voice.

“Yeah … didn’t think so.”

“How did he know to come looking for me in the first place?”

“If your father was still alive, there was a chance an heir wasn’t far behind. My father knew exactly what Favner’s intentions were, and he sent out a search to find you anyway.”

“Kai—”

“He was your death sentence, Calliope,” he spat. “He may not have done the deed. He might have even been long gone when they tried to kill you, but he put the idea in Favner’s head.”

“But I’m alive. That was years ago. Stop holding onto the anger. I don’t blame you for something your father did. I don’t care what he did.”
As long as you’re here for me and not out of obligation.

“I have no doubt that my father died for Faylinn, but he is one of the reasons Favner was able to take over. He is one of the reasons you lost your uncle and the rest of your family. Part of me can’t look at you because of the dishonor my family brings, while the other half would do anything just to …” His eyes caught mine, and he clenched his teeth.

I urged him with my eyes to finish his thought, but I could tell it was already gone. He was going to keep it. The silence lengthened so much so, I thought he was finished. He eventually looked away and sat on the tree stump next to mine.

Kai’s faint voice broke the stillness. “I thought ending Favner’s life would make me feel like I had avenged my father’s death, that it would make up for everything my father did. I knew it wouldn’t bring him back, but I thought it would give me closure—that I would finally be able to move on with my life.” He paused. “All I feel is empty.”

My fingers hooked his chin and lifted his face so his indigo eyes met mine. “You did the only thing you could have done, Kai. Don’t you dare beat yourself up for something that couldn’t be avoided. You saved Faylinn that day.”

A sardonic grin formed on his lips. “Funny how that works out. All I wanted to do was save you.” With that, he couldn’t meet my eyes. He unhooked his chin from my fingers and shifted his eyes to the floor again.

“Kai …” I wanted him to look at me. I needed his eyes to connect with mine so I knew he was still with me. “Kai, will you please look at me?” He brought his eyes up, but it wasn’t without reluctance, and there his eyes held the explosion of emotions that made me weak. I sank to the bottom, immersed in the depths of his gaze. “I never thanked you,” I said softly.

“Calliope, I don’t want your thanks,” he spat, and the sting from his words was so unexpected, I recoiled.

A light thud sounded outside the door, and we both stiffened. Kai put his fingers to his lips and reached for his dagger. His footsteps snuck behind the door in the shadows and he motioned for me to get behind him.

The seconds ticked like hours as the door crept open. In one swift movement Kai was behind the intruder with his dagger against his or her neck.

“Whoa! Hey! Kai, it’s me! It’s just me.” Declan’s voice calmed me. Kai loosened his hold, and I let out a heavy breath.

Kai finally relaxed. “A little warning would have been nice.”

“You knew I was coming,” Declan retorted.

“Yeah, after a day or two. Not merely hours later. Are you sure you weren’t followed?”

Declan’s brows slanted together. “Give me some credit, would you?”

“Just because your record is clean, doesn’t mean mistakes can’t be made.”

“I took all the precautions necessary.”

Kai took an aggressive step forward. “Obviously not enough if you are here already.”

“I’m efficient. I get the job done swiftly and I get it done right.” Declan stepped toe to toe with Kai. Their chests puffed up as they glared at each other.

I really didn’t need this right now. “Guys,” I interceded. “
Enough.
Put away the testosterone. We’re all a little on edge, but that doesn’t give us the right to turn on one another.”

“My apologies, My Queen.”

“Declan,” I complained. I was up to
here
. I lifted my hand stiffly to show him my level of irritation was at its peak.

“Sorry, Calliope,” he corrected.

“As far as I’m concerned, there is no time for your incessant bickering. We need to make a plan and get back home as soon as possible. I won’t let our kingdom go unprotected any longer.”

Kai set his jaw sternly and looked to me.

“Yes, Calliope,” Declan complied.

“They aren’t completely helpless. We do have Keepers there holding the fort the best they can.” I knew Kai was trying to settle my nerves, but it wasn’t working.

“Key words, Kai.
The best they can
. You said so yourself. They weren’t prepared for an attack of this magnitude. We need back up. I need to know who I can trust.”

Kai and Declan sighed and looked to one another. They engaged in one of their telepathic conversations excluding me from the communication then Declan nodded slightly.

“Elena,” Kai said. “Elena of Elfland.”

“Elena,” I repeated. “The one who broke away so she could bond with whoever she wanted?”

“That’s the one,” Kai confirmed.

“Declan, you agree?”

“She would be on the battlefield fighting right beside you if the two of you could have it your way.”

“How will I get to her? The Waking Oak is too close to the castle.”

“I will go,” Declan offered. “I’ll get the message to her.”

“You think you can get back into Faylinn undetected?”

“I’d bet my life on it.”

“Literally,” Kai commented. “They won’t hesitate to kill you, Declan.”

“I realize that, but we don’t have another option. It’s this or Faylinn falls.”

“Then let’s not waste anymore time,” I interjected. “Go, Declan. Be smart. And come back as soon as you can.”

He nodded once. “If I’m not back by tomorrow morning, you’ll know I’ve failed.”

I clenched my jaw. “Then don’t fail.”

“I won't,” he promised. The door closed behind him, and the knots began to build in my stomach at the thought of losing him—at the thought of what Allura would do if he failed.

“You should sleep, Calliope,” Kai suggested. “It’s almost morning. You’ve been up all night.”

“I can’t.” I turned from the door, pacing in what space was available.

“At least lie down and try. You need your strength.”

“And you don’t?” I countered.

“I’ve survived on less sleep. I’m fine. I see in your eyes how tired you are.”

I didn’t want to argue anymore so I went to lie down on the small bed in the corner. Every horrifying scene ran through my mind when I closed my eyes. Imagining the fear everyone in Faylinn must be feeling, being invaded by supposedly trusted fellow fae in the middle of the night coiled my insides. Their screams seared my ears. If I listened hard enough, I could still hear their distant cries. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to forget it, if only for a little while.

Kai must have thought I had fallen asleep, or maybe I had and woken up again to his pacing and muttering under his breath.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. And for what?” Though he was mumbling, I could hear every word. “What am I even doing here? I shouldn’t have accepted the assignment. If I was smart I would never have agreed—”

“Why are you here then?” I barked and sat up. “Why drag me out of bed in the middle of the night if I’m such a burden? Just let me go back and fight! Die if that’s what it takes.”

Kai paled when he looked at me and set his jaw. “That would have been easier, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, it would,” I muttered harshly.

He sighed. “But naturally, because Declan and I were the ones to protect you while you were away from Faylinn, you asked
me
to be your Keeper. You’ve ordered me to keep you safe and be near you
all the time.
”

“Then I release you.” I threw my hands in the air.

“What?”

I stood and marched up to him. “If it’s such a burden to guard me, I release you. You don’t have to feel obligated to protect me anymore. I didn’t ask you to take me away. Don’t do me any favors. Your debt is paid. I think you’ve given your fair share of time to right your father’s wrongs.”

“You don’t get it, do you? Gah, Calliope.” He breathed out harshly in what could have been a laugh. “Why did you have to come along and complicate things?”

“I’m sorry. What?” I scoffed. “As I recall, I wasn’t the one who fell from the trees that first day in the forest.”

“Don’t get smart with me. You know what I mean.”

“Right. Because
I
asked for all of this. I wanted to be a faery and inherit a kingdom.
My bad.
”

He grunted in frustration and threw his hands in the air, humorlessly laughing. “You don’t get it. You never have! Are you really that blind? Declan is. Are
you
?” I blinked. “I’m not complaining because I have to take care of you. I’m not complaining because you need protection. I’m
livid
because no matter what I do, you’re always put in danger. I can’t relax for even one minute because I’m constantly worrying about you! I’m constantly terrified that I’m going to
lose
you!”

His chest rose rapidly up and down. He swallowed and closed his eyes, while I remained speechless.
He was terrified to lose me?
I watched him breathe in and out and lock his hands behind his head as he looked up at the ceiling of the shack. It wasn’t as if I didn’t know Kai and I had been tiptoeing around the fire. It danced in the back of my head, but I brushed it aside. We were an impossibility. But I had a feeling after this we weren’t only going to be playing with fire, but rolling around in it.

“You are the first faery that I have felt this way about, and it’s impossible for me to have you,” he said quietly. Words escaped me. I stood there stupidly gaping at him when he took an uncertain step toward me, very un-Kai-like. “Don’t you see that I’m tormented just by being in your presence? Every day to have to watch you, protect you, and know we will
never
have a chance at a life together. I have to watch as Sakari touches you and makes you laugh. It takes everything inside of me to keep from punching his face in every time he has kissed you. And if anyone even heard me confess that to you I would be as good as dead.”

We studied one another. I don’t know when it happened exactly. It wasn’t some burst of emotion giving me sudden clarity. It wasn’t as if I was blind and could finally see. Kai had crept into my heart little by little from the first day we met. Somewhere inside I had known from that first day he dropped in front of me that I could love him. I was never meant to be with someone who made things easy, who wasn’t a challenge. He would be a constant every day surprise, and that ignited a deep yearning to be near him always. He wasn’t someone easy to love, and yet it was the easiest decision to make. There was no life in Faylinn without Kai. I had a larger purpose here in Faylinn, but if I couldn’t be happy, there was no way Faylinn would be happy.