Ending with Forever (7 page)

“I see. I don’t like you sharing a cab with strangers, especially in a big city. They have more crazy people there,” she lectures. I nod to appease her. “How’s Isabella doing? Ever since I found out you two are living together, I’ve had more peace of mind. You’ll always have each other if you need anything.”

Before answering my mom’s question, I take a quick scan around our house and a reacquainting breath. The familiar aroma of jasmine tea brewing on the stove and the sweet bread baking in the oven tells me I’m home. Everything is exactly the same. Mom hasn’t rearranged or moved a single thing around. I walk over to the cabinet, reach for two plates and teacups, and pour hot tea into them. I pop my head into the oven and see two loaves of zucchini bread.
Yum
. I hope she added blueberries in them.

“She’s doing great. Her modeling career is taking off and she’s even had small parts in movies and commercials. You’ll be able to see her tonight at the rehearsal dinner,” I reply as I gesture for her to sit down at our kitchen table. I slice two generous pieces of zucchini bread and see blueberry streaks marbled throughout, just for me. My mom’s the best. I place everything on a tray and carry them over to her.

“She’s a very beautiful girl. I’m not surprise she’s doing well. How about you? How’s your schooling and training going?” she inquires before taking a sip of her hot tea, observing me over the rim of her cup through a film of lucent steam.

“Fine. It’s challenging sometimes,” I reply vaguely, trying to keep my lying down to a minimum. My palms are a sweltering, clammy mess as I try to break off a corner of my bread.

“How were you able to get into Harvard Medical so quickly?” she asks in an interrogative tone. “It’s almost impossible to get in normally.” My mom doesn’t tread lightly around the bushes. She plows her way through the shrubs for her answers.

“Umm…Hayden helped me,” I stammer, feeling the wrath of God heading my way for the colossal lies I keep telling. “He has pulls with some very important people.”

“Hayden, who? Do I know him?”

“Mrs. Carter’s son, my high school prom date.”

“Oh, yes. I remember him. He was a good kid. His mother and sister still lives here. How did you run into him?”

“Belle started dating him a few months ago. They convinced me to come back to Boston to finish med school.”

“Is that how you got involved with that rich, older man?” she nails me with a question about Carson right away. Crap. I’m not ready to answer any questions about him yet. “Did that accident have anything to do with him?”

“Do we have to talk about that now? I want to know how you’ve been doing and the latest town gossip,” I persuade.

“No. I guess not. But you’re not off the hook. We will talk about him later,” she warns before continuing. “I don’t have to take weekend calls, and I’m finally on first shift at the hospital. My sugar average is exactly where the doctor wants it to be at. I’m down to oral medication only.”

“That’s wonderful news, Mom. You hated those shots, and I hated watching you stick yourself even more. Good-bye to those awful bruises and needles,” I tell her with an approving grin. “First shift. You’ve wanted that for as long as I can remember.”

“Too bad it wasn’t sooner when you were still home with me,” she regrets.

“Mom, I never felt cheated, not even once. I always understood why.”

“See why I’ve missed you, Lily?” she tells me with her hand clasped over mine. “You always know what to say to make me feel better. This house feels so empty without you.”

“As soon as I’m done with school, I’ll make sure we live in the same town. It doesn’t matter where I end up. I’ll move you there to be close to me.” My response lightens her long face. I see a sprouting smile creeping its way out of hibernation, mirroring mine. People have often told us our smiles are identical. I have to agree now that I’m able to see hers more frequently.

“Ready for the gossip?” she asks. I nod readily. “Dr. Tanner’s soon to be son-in-law, Devan, just came into a small fortune. He won a scratch-off lottery. Emma’s getting the dream wedding she’s always fantasized about. Poor Dr. Tanner. Emma’s pregnancy has bothered him terribly, but he continues to be very supportive of her. He’s a good man. I’m sure this is old news for you. You girls share everything with each other. Don’t you?”

“Yes. Emi told me all about it,” I fib with a crooked smile. Since Emi’s pregnancy news, Belle informs me with need-to-know info only. She’s been very protective of my feelings. I can’t believe she didn’t tell me the groom won a lottery. I wonder what else she’s left out.

“Oh before I forget to tell you. Emma’s brother dropped off your dress yesterday. It’s in the guestroom closet. You should try it on. If it doesn’t fit, I’ll still have time to alter it for you.”

“I’ll do that now. Thanks, Momma.” I stand up and kiss her forehead. The bliss of having me home emanates from her smiling eyes, making my spirits soar to a state of euphoria.

“Lunch will be ready in a bit. You must be hungry from the traveling.”

“Sounds good,” I agree and make my way to my bedroom.

I open the door to see my humble little room is exactly how I left it nine months ago. Everything is neat and kept free of dust, thanks to Mom. My favorite DVDs, mostly romances, are perfectly aligned on a shelf on the wall. The wish jar, sitting on a white nightstand beside my full size bed, is still full of nick knacks and pieces of paper with my hopes and dreams written all over them. A gigantic giraffe with a stethoscope around its neck, my gift from Emi and Belle for getting accepted into med school, is sticking its tongue out at me from the corner of the room. We had many laughs from that thing. They told me it’ll be my job to fix his tongue problem when I become a doctor.

Leisurely running my fingers along every surface, I familiarize myself and recall memories I’ve left behind. It’s only been nine months, but I feel like I’ve grown up nine years with all that has happened to me. Curious to see if my farewell note for my mom is still on my bed, I peel back a pink and white quilt she made for me for my fifth birthday. It is—along with another note with my name written in cursive. I recognize the handwriting. It’s my mom’s.

Lily,

I miss you already. After you left, I came in here and sat for hours, remembering twenty-two years of your life with me. Tears came and went and then came back again, but you weren’t here to wipe them away for me like you often did
.
You healed my broken heart with your love and understanding. Even at a very young age you were already giving me more than I deserved. No child should ever have to make that kind of sacrifice, but you did wholeheartedly, and I love you for it. I’m sorry it’s taken me this many years to tell you this.

I’m very proud of the beautiful and intelligent young woman you’ve become. I want for you to find happiness first and then success. Without happiness, success is empty and unachievable. I want to protect your heart like you’ve done for me. Until you find that someone who loves you more than himself, you should never give your heart to just anyone. I feel helpless that you’re miles away as I sit in your room, imparting words that I should’ve shared with you when you were still here with me. I love you, Lily. I miss you.

Love, Mom

If I wasn’t already a hysterical mess, I am now as I wipe away tears streaking down my chin with the back of my hand. I reread her letter at least four more times, imagining her sitting here alone on my bed crying her eyes out for hours. Her sadness is palpable as it leaps off the paper, tugging at my heart. I know what it’s like to love a child, even one that I’ve never held in my arms and then have to let her or him go. It’s a pain you can’t express in words, just in silent tears. I have to stop crying. I’ve been an emotional wreck since I stepped up to my mom’s front door. Folding her note into a perfect square, I flip the wishing jar open and toss it in. My mom wishes for me to find happiness. I already have. The hard part is proving it to her.

“
D
r. Tanner, how are you?” I ask when he opens the door to let me in. I was too antsy to wait until rehearsal dinner to see Emi. It’s still hours away, so I decided to sneak in a quick visit on my way to the fabric store for thread.

“Lillian, it’s good to see you, dear.” His burly arms wrap around me, offering me one of his papa bear hugs. I welcome his affection. Dr. Tanner is a bighearted man who’s loved and respected by many of his patients, including my mother. He’s the kind of doctor who’d give you the shirt off his back and never think twice about it.

“Same here, Dr. Tanner.”

Emi’s father is a tall, stout man with a healthy midsection. As long as I’ve known him, he’s had a small spiral bald spot on the back of his head that’s now fully matured to the front. Emi was blessed with his grayish blue eyes and full lips. This is why my nickname for Emi is Lips. She has the sexiest pair in Indiana, and I have yet to hear anyone challenge me on that claim.

“You look different,” he mentions. “But still lovely as ever,” he adds.

Being an internist, Dr. Tanner has a critical eye for details. Nothing gets past him which is why he’s the best doctor in town. I’m surprised my mom didn’t notice my dark hair. She’s also very perceptive. Maybe she was too busy being happy that nothing else mattered to her at the time.

“Thanks. I had my hair dyed black to see if I’d like it.”

“Oh…Okay. I think I like it,” he compliments, but I’m not convinced. “How’s your mom doing? I haven’t heard from her for a few weeks.”

“Good. You know my mom. She likes to keep busy,” I answer. “How’s work? I miss volunteering at your office.”

“Hectic. As you already know, this is prime cold and flu season. We miss having you around, kiddo. The ladies at the office ask about you all the time. Maybe when you become a full-fledged doctor, you can take my place so I can retire.”

“Maybe. You never know.” I grin. “Is Emi around or is she tying up loose ends before the big day? I know how meticulous she is. Everything has to be perfect.”

“This is true,” he chuckles. “She’s in her room. Go on up there. She’ll be ecstatic to see you.”

I skip up a massive wooden staircase reminiscent of the one in
Gone with the Wind
and then sprint down a long hallway to Emi’s room. I’ve often teased Emi that she lives in a castle because of its magnitude as well as the many rooms it has. They even have their own laundry shoots and intercoms because of the distance. The kids’ bedrooms are separate from their parents on a different wing. When I arrive, I see a rose-colored gossamer swag with flowers hanging above Emi’s door. This must be her mother’s creative handy work. She loves to decorate and make everything fancy, earning herself the bedazzle queen title. I can’t imagine how incredible the wedding will be.

“Knock, knock,” I holler from my side of the door and then press my ear against the door to listen.

“Who’s there?” she asks in an exaggerated girly voice, knowing full well that it’s me on the other side. “I’m not expecting anyone, but you sure sound familiar.”

“Let me in or I’ll tell everyone you kissed Terrible Timmy,” I threaten as I hold back my giggles. Timmy earned his name by picking on all the girls in class. He terrorized us until freshman year in high school. Emi was forced to kiss him at a girl-boy party in a dark closet. She chose dare instead of truth.

“You wouldn’t. That’s our secret,” she yells. “And for your information, he wasn’t a terrible kisser.”

“Gross! I’ll take your word for it. Now let me in!” I demand.

“Alright. What’s the secret code?”

“Holy laughing Buddha,” I whisper. 

The door flies open with Emi’s arms thrown around me, crushing me against her engorged boobs and small baby bump. “Lily, I’ve missed you, girl.”

“And I’ve missed you.” I squeeze her back.

“Not as much as I have,” she whines and then smacks me in the arm. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again! I freaking cried for a solid week when I thought you died in that accident. Thank God Belle called and filled me in.”

“Trust me. It was no joyride for me either,” I assure her as I rub my tender arm and acquaint myself with the new Emi. “You couldn’t be any more glowing than if you were sitting under a bright sun on a beach in Bora-Bora,” I compliment. She’s pregnant and soon to be a bride. These two factors alone should boost up her radiance level several bars.

“Shut up! I’ve gained a shit ton of weight already and my fingers are too fat to fit my engagement ring. Devan had to resize both rings so I can wear them tomorrow.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I roll my eyes at her. “Tell me about Devan. How did you two meet and why didn’t I hear about him sooner?”

“It started out as nothing. He was an assistant instructor for one of my law classes. I asked him to help me with a project and guess what? He knocked me up and gave me an A for the semester,” she kids.

“Funny. All joking aside, do you love him or is this about the pregnancy?” I ask frankly as I reach down to her belly and place both palms over her protruding little bump. Sadness washes over me, knowing that my belly would be about the same size if I hadn’t lost my pregnancy. I’m happy for my best friend but self-pity can be selfish. I’m ashamed to admit that. 

“I do love him. He’s good to me and his heart is all mine. Thanks to that laughing Buddha of yours, we’ve all found our Mr. Happy Endings, Lily. Carson seems dreamy and perfect. I hope you don’t mind that Belle’s been filling me in since we haven’t been able to talk.”

“Of course not. I’m sorry I haven’t tried harder. I’m a shitty friend.”

“No you’re not. You’re going through a lot. I can’t imagine being in your place.”

“Thanks for understanding. Love you, Lips.”

“Me too, Lashes.” Emi branded me that nickname. She accused me of having fake lashes because mine are so long and thick. I had to offer her a good tug on them to prove her wrong.

“Carson is perfect…like a character that’s stepped out of one of my favorite movies. I love him so much that even the thought of losing him drives me insanely mad. You know me. I’ve never been this dependent on anyone, especially on a man. Am I pathetic or what?”

“No. You’re not. You’re in love. That’s what you’re supposed to feel. From what Belle tells me, he sounds solid. No billionaire gives up an entire month for a woman he just wants a quick fling with.”

“I want to believe that, but he’s rich, gorgeous and always surrounded by beautiful women. I have reasons for my insecurity. Any normal woman in my shoes would feel the same way.”

“True, but he wants to marry you and not some bimbo in five-inch heels,” she retorts with a silly face. I chuckle and nod in agreement. Emi’s right. I shouldn’t doubt Carson’s love for me. What the heck’s wrong with me? My jealousy is very childish.

“Now I have to convince my mom.” A heavy sigh escapes me, knowing this will be one of the toughest challenges I’ll have to overcome.

“She wants what’s best for you. If Carson is best for you, she’ll listen to your heart.”

“I hope so. Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need luck. You have Carson.”

Her reply makes my face beam bright. “I better get going. I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’m really happy for you, Emi. You deserve only the happiest of endings.” Circling my arms around Emi, I hug her into my chest to offer her all my love and support like a sister would.

“Thanks, Lil. You do, too. Carson is really amazing. My dream wedding is all due to him.”

“What do you mean?” I ask as I give her a puzzled look.

“He paid for everything and had his people orchestrate the entire wedding: reception place, five-star catering by a celebrity chef, exotic flowers from L&H DeZinz, an entire security team fit for the president himself, and a honeymoon to Bora-Bora, my dream destination. All this he did just to surprise you with a trip to Fort Wayne for your best friend’s wedding.”

I’m stunned. “But I heard Devan won a lottery of some sort.”

“Devan didn’t win anything but me,” she giggles. “He’s as broke as a law student can be. Carson wanted the groom to get the glory for giving his bride her dream wedding, so they made up the lottery story.”

“I see.” I honest to God don’t deserve Carson. While I continue to doubt the longevity of our relationship and his love for me, he’s saving the world and planning my best friend’s wedding to make me happy. How much more does it take to get through my dense head?

It’s been at least three hours already and no calls from Lil, not even a single text or an emoji. I despise waiting. It’s not something I’m accustomed to. To trim away the torment of waiting, I paced around this country estate several times wearing down the soles of my Italian leather shoes. And now, I’m looking out the master bedroom window to a scenic view of the woods and streaming creek, trying to escape my edginess. Disappointedly, it’s not helping me any. The bodyguard reported no activities outside her home. Why won’t she call me to put my mind at ease? The damn briefcase on the oak executive desk at the far end of the room keeps hollering at me. The papers inside it want out and into Lil’s mother’s hands. Owen had advised me against having such a drastic clause to be added to a binding agreement, but I ignored him. Basically, I told my lawyers to make Lillian the president of my company if for any reason I fail to be a loving and faithful husband to her. With this agreement, Lily’s mother will have no choice but to believe me when I tell her how much I love her daughter.

Another fifteen minutes pass and no call. Screw it. I’m tired of waiting. Lil’s mother will have to find out sooner or later. I choose sooner. Shedding my business attire off, I don my body with a plaid top, sweatshirt and dark denim jeans. I remove the papers from the briefcase and sprint down the massive staircase with a wool coat over my right arm.

Luke greets me from the entrance of the home. “Mr. Bradley, where are you going?”

“To Miss Ly’s place. What vehicles are in the garage? I want to drive myself.”

“I believe there’s an Audi SUV or a Mercedes-Benz. Are you sure you don’t need me to trail behind?”

“Yes. We already have an undercover in position. I’ll call if I need anything.”

“Yes, sir.”

I choose the SUV. It’s less flashy and will hopefully be less irritating for Lil’s mother to see. 818 May Avenue is what I input into the navigation system before I back out of a five-car garage. Lil will probably be pissed when she sees me at her front door, uninvited and unexpected. Oh well, she’ll have to get over it. From the antsy signs she gave me earlier, I’m positive her mother still has no clue about me. I’ve already warned Lil about my perseverance. God knows I wouldn’t be where I’m at today if I was easily intimidated by obstacles thrown my way.

“You have arrived at your destination,” the GPS announces minutes later. I’m not used to this speedy fifteen-minute commute from rural to urban. You can barely cross the street in Boston at that rate. It’s not enough time to clear my muddled thoughts. Impromptus have never been an issue for me—never, until today. I need to pull my shit together. Calmly reclining back in my seat, I kill the engine and organize my thoughts.
It’s now or never. Regardless what her mother says, I’m still going to marry Lil.
Before stepping out, I look over to the house and see a pair of eyes lurking out an arched window with the curtains peeled back slightly.
Nothing can change my mind. I’m not driving away without pouring out my heart first.
Reaching over to the passenger seat, I grab the document, tuck it under my coat and make my way to the house.

Without pity, the bitter wind wrestles my body until I reach the entrance. The door is black with an orange and red fall wreath mounted on the upper half. I’m not nervous. I just don’t want to walk away defeated. Giving myself a brief second, I straighten my shirt and adjust my hair and posture to look more presentable. My shoulders are squared and I have up my indestructible brave front, the one most people see and regard. The doorbell is pressed once. I wait patiently. Whether it’s Lily or her mother who comes to the door, I’m going to get the same cold reception, so it won’t matter who sees me first.

Lil’s mother cautiously ajars the door within the constraint of a brass chain lock. “May I help you?” she asks, her tone is polite and soft. I see where Lil gets her beautiful light brown hair and eye coloring from. She’s also lean like Lil but is shorter in stature.

“Yes. I’m Carson Bradley, a friend of your daughter. I’d like to come in and talk with you. Please.”

“She’s never mentioned you before,” she replies without offering me entrance.

“That surprises me. We’ve been dating for about three months.” I’m still ticked that Lil’s been lying to me. However, this isn’t the time or place to rekindle a semi-old wound. She’ll make it up to me in more ways than one when I get her back into our bed. My eyes smile with desire from the vision of her body writhing under my control as I
punish
her without mercy. 

The door opens wider and I’m finally invited in. “Come. It’s cold out there.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Ly.”

“Call me Lia,” she insists. Why does her name strike my subconscious like a kick in the gut? Lia Ly. I know that particular name but my focus is her daughter right now. The door shuts behind me as she eyes me with distrust, sealing in the tension between us. I convince myself she’s just being overly protective because Lil’s her baby girl, her only child. I can’t take anything she throws at me personally.