Enough (13 page)

Hearing that
he would be leaving hurt. I don’t want to spend that much time away from him. I was getting use to having him here. With me.

“What
is the meeting for?” I asked.

“My lawyer has a
few things to talk about. It’ll take a few hours so I’m going to stay in New York tonight then there’s something for a charity I’m helping that I have to do in the morning.” He said. I nodded. He’s a busy man. I couldn’t keep him from that but I do love waking up in the morning with him beside me. Maybe I could deal with one night. It has to end some time, right? I can’t have him sleep with me for the rest of my life.

He he
lped me up to my room and got me into bed.

“
I’ll get the Advil.” He said leaving the room.

My phone c
himed and for a split second I froze.

Bryan
: Hey, I wanted to know if I can pass by later. Are you feeling better for dinner? If not I can bring it over.

I was glad it wasn’t
him
.

This
made it hard for me though. I like Bryan but I don’t feel the way I do with him like I do with Alex. But I’ve known Bryan for forever, I always thought about dating him but we never had the courage to say anything. What about Alex? He’s sleeping in the same bed as me. I love that.

It sucks to be a girl sometimes.

Me: Have a headache, not feeling good enough to leave :(

Me:
I’ll call you later.

Bryan
: Okay

Alex walked in and handed me the pills and water. He
brought his hand to my forehead and furrowed his brow. “You’re really hot. This should help. Are you going to be okay if I leave?” He asked.

I should be. My family can help out. Speaking of them, where are they? They are usually up my ass if they’re home.

“Yeah, I’m fine. You can go.” I said.

“I’ll text you when I get back.
” He said.

I’
m jumping in the inside. How long have I waited to hear that? Three months!! God, this is a dream come true.

“Decla
n can help me if I need it. Be careful.” I said.

Alex
smiled and stood up. “I was going to say the exact same thing.” Then he hesitated. His body was saying one thing, his mind was saying another. He wants to kiss me…I just know it.

I bit my lip and stared at him.
Do it. Come on. Don’t think about hurting me. Do it.
He leaned into me and kissed me. I wish it was longer but I’ll take what I can get.

He licked his lips as he pulled away and told me to go to sleep. I didn’t argue with him.

I woke up around six o’clock, got out of bed and changed out of Alex’s sweater. I went into the closet and picked out a shirt. It hurt putting it on but I wasn’t in the mood to wear the sweater anymore. I need to wear some clothes. My clothes.

Everyone kno
ws about the rape so I don’t have to hide the bruises. I put pajama pants on and left my room. Declan was coming out of his.

“Hey
, did Alex leave yet?” I asked.

Declan
looked at me for a few extra seconds, most likely studying the bruises on my arms. Awkward.

“Yeah
, he came back then left like twenty minutes ago. You’re finally not in a sweater.” He said walking up to me and hugging me. “I’m sorry this happened to you, Em.” He said, his voice cracking.

“Hey, I told you guys hoping you wouldn’t patronize me. Act like it never happened. It’s hard for me
as it is but it would help if everyone didn’t talk about it.” I said staring at the floor.

“I promise.
” He let me go and stepped back. “Just know that if we find the guy, I am going to kill him.” You and me both. “Bryan called and asked if you were awake yet. He was asking about what food we like. He never brings food over.” I think I can guess why he’s doing it now.

“I’ll call him
. Is everyone staying home today?” I asked.

My phone was in hand so this will be fast.

“No need, he’s downstairs. He came maybe two minutes ago. I was on my way to wake you up. Let’s go then, don’t want to keep him waiting.” Dec said rubbing his stomach. He’ll do anything for food.

When we got downstairs
, Bryan and Scarlett were laughing about something in the kitchen. When they looked up, they went silent.

“Hey, I was going to call you.”
I said eyeing the food he brought. There’s lasagna, eggplant parmesan, et cetera and my favorite dessert, crème
brûlée
.

“I called Declan and he said you were sleeping all da
y and he wanted you to wake up. I told him to let you sleep but he knows best.” Bryan said.

I glanced sideways at Declan. He smiled.

“He offered to bring food. I was not in the mood to cook today.” Declan said. I noticed Mom wasn’t here.

“Where’s mom?”
I asked.

“At work. T
hey had some kind of problem and needed her to stay late.” Scar said. I’m glad Mom has her old job back. I was worried for a second because of the Seattle thing.

That reminds me, I have to text Mark and Christy soon. I keep ignoring their texts but I managed to send an ‘I’m okay’ text. I don’t want them to think I’m dead.
They would drive here from Stoneham just to check.

I nodded and took a seat next to
Bryan. We took a plate of everything, I’m going to stuff myself because I’m hungry. Bryan insisted on holding the plate and filling it for me but I told him I wasn’t that weak. Like come on, holding the plate. I should be offended.

There was
plenty of food left over. Everything was great but I had my eye on the crème
brûlée
the entire time. “Dessert time!” I said after Scarlett finished her last bite of eggplant parmesan.

“I can’t eat anymore. That was amazing but I’m stuffed.”
She said slumping in her chair.

“Me too.”
Declan said. I frowned. “You guys can still eat. Excuse us. Bryan, thanks for the food. You’re the best.” Then they both left.

I got up and grabbed two crème
brûlée’s
. “I’ve been eyeing this since I got downstairs.” I said sitting back down.

“I heard you were at school today. Mrs. Bond was pretty mad that you didn’t go to first period.”
Bryan said stabbing the crème
brûlée
with his spoon.

“I just wen
t to ask about Mrs. Diaz. No one has heard from her so we were stating to get worried. Then I got a headache and Alex brought me home.” I said.

“Speaking of Alex, where is he?”
Bryan asked. Damn, I know that look. It’s the alpha male taking over. I’ve seen this happen before with his other female friends.

I didn’t tell Tiffany or Bryan that A
lex has money. That would just be another reason Tiffany would want me to date him and another reason for Bryan to hate him.

“He had to go to
New York…something important.” I said.

“He left you here?
Declan said you guys were spending a lot of time together. I didn’t think he ever left your side.” I heard the hurt in his voice. I looked up at him.

“
Bryan–”

H
is hand met my cheek and his eyes held mine. Then Bryan leaned in and kissed me lightly on the lips. When he pulled away, I was confused. Should I be happy? Should I tell him about Alex? No…it’s my business.

The front door
opened and I was glad. I need the distraction.

“Hi honey, nice
to see you out and about.” Mom walked up to the kitchen and sighed. “Long day…oh, hi, Bryan.” She looked at me. “Where’s Alex?” Not her too.

“
New York. Important things.” I said looking up at Bryan. He was busy looking at the crème
brûlée
. “Bryan brought food if you want some.”

“I’m pretty tired. I’m
going to take a nice hot bath then go to bed. Where are your brother and sister?” She asked.

“Upstairs.
” Mom looked around the kitchen with that I-have-to-clean-before-I-can-relax look. “You can go, we’ll clean this up.” I said. She kissed my forehead, said goodbye to Bryan and left.

We cleaned up the kitchen and packed up the food.
I told Bryan to take it home for his family. We really don’t need it after we stuffed ourselves. And I know Ella loves lasagna.

“Do you want me to stay with you? I mean that crazy guy is on the loose. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
Bryan said. Just the thought of Bryan spending the night felt wrong. That’s reserved for Alex. What is wrong with me?

“No, it’s
okay. Declan’s here and I don’t think your family would like it if you do.” I said walking him to the front door.

“Are you sure? I can stay downstairs.”
He said.

“I’m sure. I’ll be
fine.” I said.

He looked up at me then
leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. Kissing him made me think about Alex. I shouldn’t be doing this.

He stepped back.

“I just want you to know I care about you.” He said.

“I know
.” Sometimes I have to take care of myself. Just because something bad happened to me doesn’t mean I can’t do anything. I just want to be the old Emily. Nobody told her what to do. Nobody felt bad for her. I want that again. “Goodnight, Bryan.”

“Goodnight
, Em. If you need anything, call me.”

I nodded and closed the door.
God, I feel like someone stomped on my lungs because it’s hard to breathe right now. I went upstairs to my room and turned on the light. I checked to make sure the closet was empty and the windows locked. Everything seemed fine. I couldn’t turn off the light though. Alex was the one that made me feel safe enough to have the light off and he’s not here.

I picked up my phone and texted him.

Me: Hey, you were gone when I woke up. Just wanted to tell you I checked the room and it’s safe. Have fun in NY. Don’t want to be a pain but when do you think you’d be back?

I waited a few minutes.
Why did I ask that? Desperate much? I didn’t think he’d reply so I gave up.

A
s soon as I put the phone down on the nightstand, he texted back.

Alex:
You never are. I should be back around 2 or 3pm. Have to pass by my house and organize a few things. If you want me to pass by after that I can, Maybe around 8 or 9??

My hear
t jumped. He’ll be gone that long.
Oh, come on
. I thought. We only saw each other at school, we were away for hours and I didn’t mind.

I did…

I don’t know why I don’t feel this way with Bryan.

Me:
I would like that. See you then. :)

I put my
phone away and looked out of my window. I haven’t heard from
him
in a while. Maybe he forgot about me. He just wanted me to get worked up for nothing.

I closed my eyes and thought about when I would see Alex again.
I’m a girl completely infatuated with him. Who wouldn’t be?

Kelly Clarkson’s
Dark Side
played and I thought about my dark side. Would any man accept me if they knew my real past. The past I keep hidden?

I texted my friends, Christy and Mark. They are the only two people out of four who know who I really am. The real Emily Vasquez. The other two are Ty, an ex who I don’t want to think about, and Tiffany. She knows the
Cliff notes.

I need them right now. My past is starting to eat me up.

Would anyone want me if they knew the truth?

***

It felt strange waking up
alone this morning. It’s Wednesday so Alex should be coming home around 2 or 3 pm. Yeah, I’m stalking the clock. Sue me.

I took a shower and
killed some time on my laptop. The cut’s healing and when I put my shirt on, it didn’t hurt. I still want to take it easy though.

There were a few posts about Zach and Sophie, one of them was that Sophie saw him with another girl and punched him so hard
she broke his nose. I don’t mind the attention not on me. Zach’s nose is not broken by the way. Oh, and they’re back together. They got over whatever was happening between them and made up. Good for them.

I checked my e
mails, all spam. Tiffany called me last night but I missed it because I fell asleep. She texted me afterwards and told me she met this guy at a party last night. It’s nice to see one of us is still partying. That is why I love her.

I walked over to Declan’s room and knocked on the doo
r. He didn’t answer so he must be sleeping. I walked over to Scarlett’s room and same thing.
They must have gone to bed before me, how are they still sleeping?