Enough (16 page)

I shook my head. I have to talk to
Bryan’s dad first. I have to see if this is true. I really hope its not. Why would Declan make that up?

“Please don’t ask me questions right now
, Alex. My head is about to explode and I have too much to think about.” I said.

He nodded and paid for the parking.
Ugh, I’ll pay him later.

We took the
elevator to his car and he drove.

We were at
Bryan’s in less then fifteen minutes.

Alex parked
and I turned toward him in my seat, staring at him for a while. I was taking everything about him in. I never want to forget the way his lips look, the way his eyelashes are a bit to long for a man but they look sexy as hell and the way his eyebrows furrow as his eyes search my face like he’s trying to piece me together. This man is perfect. And I want this man to be mine. But my life fucking sucks. I don’t deserve him.

His lips parted
ready to say something but I stopped him by crashing my lips to his. Alex pulled me into him and let his tongue slip past my parting lips. As much as I’m confused and hurting right now about the lies and Bryan, this is what is helping me.

Alex is helping me.

A tear escaped against my will and slid down my cheek. My life is like a fucked up rollercoaster ride and I know Alex shouldn’t have deal with everything going on. He shouldn’t have to deal with me. No one should.

It’s selfish but I want
him in my life. We just started talking and spending time together but in that short time…I am already head over heels.

He mak
es me feel worth something.

Yeah, b
efore I met Alex I was happy and strong and independent but it was fake. I never felt…right. I walked my way through life to try and be someone but it never worked out.

A
fter the rape I lost everything I ever worked for. I lost the hope. I lost me again. Last time that happened, I almost ended up dead. If it wasn’t for Mark and Christy helping me, I probably would have died. I have so much to thank them for and all I’m doing is ignoring them. I can’t tell them about the rape. I know this would never happen but I feel like they would think I asked for it. Because of what happened this summer, they might see me as the bad person.

I pulled away from
Alex’s warm embrace, his lips,
him
and wiped away the tear. I know he’ll leave one day. Everyone does. I shouldn’t get attached, right?

“Why are you crying?” Alex
asked.

“You know how I feel about you.
” I said focusing on the dashboard instead of his watchful eyes. “It doesn’t seem fair to have me spring all of this on you, Alex. My life is rough right now and it always will be…but you make it worth living for me. I shouldn’t be saying this but I can’t help it. I don’t want to wake up one day and find you gone and out of my life because of everything I’m putting you through.” I looked out of the window and found Bryan’s dad leaving the front door. I have to talk to him before he goes anywhere.

“Emily, I’m not going anywhere. I pr
omise.” He said.

I shook my head and bit my lip.

I hate to leave this conversation on hold but I have to go.

“Can w
e can talk about this when I come back?” I asked.

Alex’s eyes
found Taylor and he nodded, confused. He has no idea what Declan and I talked about. In a way it’s good.

I opened the
car door and got out.

Bryan
’s dad (possibly my dad) is a well built man. He has short light brown hair and blue eyes…yeah, the resemblance is unbelievable now that I know what to piece together. I never thought about it before now but I can see it. Ohmygod. I can see it.

“Mr. Vincent.”
I called out as he was about to get into his car. He looked up from the car and when he saw me I saw that look. The look that I never once put to much thought into. It’s the look of a father seeing his child. I’ve seen him look at Bryan and Ella like this. He loves them. They’re his world.

“Emily?
Is school out early today?” He asked as I walked over to the driver side. Yeah, talk about school. It’s easier.

“I don’t know. Is
Bryan here?” I asked.

“No, he should be in school. You can wait here for him if you’d like.” He look
ed at me curiously. “Wait, did you go–”

“I didn’t go today. Have a lot of stuff to do. I didn’t come for
Bryan. I came to talk to you.” I said. Taylor closed his car door and leaned against it.

“What is it?”
He asked giving me his attention.

“I don’t know how to say this.” I
said looking down at the driveway gravel. “I found something out today. I just want the truth from you, okay? Are you…” I found his eyes. Eyes that are almost the color of mine. Eyes that should have been a clue. I’m a fucking idiot. I didn’t see it before.

He knows what I’m talking about.
He tensed up and looked past me all while I saw his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Am I what?” He asked. He’s nervous. I’m nervous.

Just do it!
I screamed at myself.

“
Are you my father?” I blurted. “Is Bryan…is Bryan my brother?”

Taylor
held my eyes and I wanted to crumble onto the ground.

“You weren’t supposed to find out.
” He said dropping his head. “I talked to your mother after I found out she was pregnant with you. She didn’t want to leave your father.” My father? Hello? “She didn’t want anything from me except that I keep it a secret. Who told you?”

Like that matters.

I thought about what was about to happen with Bryan when I came over. I almost had sex with him. I almost had sex with my
brother
! It wasn’t my fault though. No one decided I should know.

“
And Wendy accepts this? Me. You cheated on her.” I said.

He nodded. “I know.” That’s it?!

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” I asked with tears in my eyes. My voice is about to crack and there’s nothing I can do about it. He grabbed my arm and I shook him free.

“Emily.” God, just hearing him have that much emotion in that one word killed me.
He mine as well call me ‘daughter.’ “What happened with your father–David, when you were little…he found out and went ballistic.” He’s grabbing his hair now. I guess we have that in common. When I’m angry I pull my hair. “He should have never laid a finger on you.” He sighed. “Emily, my family couldn’t find out at the time. Your mom and I agreed to keep it secret.”

“Does
Bryan know about what happened? When I was ten?” I asked as my eyes widened at the thought. Taylor shook his head. “Does Bryan even know? That we’re related?” I cried. He shook his head again. “You’re shaking your head like it’s nothing. You have no idea what chaos would have happened. I almost slept with him, Mr. Vincent. I have feelings for him. Nobody thought that would happen? God! I’m sick of people deciding what is best for me. What if we started dating? Would no one have said anything to me?” I snapped.

I
heard a car engine coming closer to us. Alex parked the car in the street so why would he be pulling into the driveway? I looked sideways and a black Jeep was pulling up. Bryan’s black Jeep. I turned toward his dad–my dad. Our dad.

“Go.
” I said when I saw Taylor tense. “I want to talk to him in private. And I’m going to tell him.” I said. This is ridiculous. We were both kept in the dark. We were both lied to.

Taylor
got into his car without saying another word. He’s going nuts though. He’s still pulling his hair as he backed out and drove off.

“What are you doing here so early?” I
asked walking over to Bryan’s car. Alex is still sitting patiently in his.

“I could ask
you the same thing. School’s out early today. You would know if you went. What are you doing here? Were you talking to my dad?” Bryan asked. I can’t look at him the same way anymore. His turquoise blue eyes were waiting to be looked at but I just couldn’t. After finding out that he is my brother…I can’t think anymore.

I
pulled him into a hug.

“Ah, okay.” He said wrapping his arms around me.

“I have to tell you something.” I said into his chest. I looked up at him slowly. “I don’t now how you’re going to take it. Don’t be mad at me though. Please. I didn’t know.”

Bryan
put his hands on my arms and smiled. “What is it?” That smile is probably going to fade real quick.

“
Bryan, you are one of my best friends and I love you to death but…nothing can happen between us.” I said. Just get it out there. That’s what I can do. He dropped his hands to his side and the smile faded. He looks like he just got slapped. I know the feeling. “Bryan, nothing can happen because–”

“Because of Alex, right? I knew something was happening betw
een the two of you. I knew–”

“No, it’
s not like that.” I said cutting him off. “Bryan, nothing can happen because…because you’re…you’re my brother.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me.
He’s mad.

“What are talking about?”
He snapped. Yeah, I would act the same way. I’m telling him nothing can happen between us after we had a few moments together. He thinks I’m finding an excuse to reject him. I wish it was that simple.

“Declan and Scar
told me.” I said. “You’re my brother, Bryan. If I knew sooner I would have told you. I’m sorry for leading you on. I do–did have feelings for you but now…you know.” I tried grabbing his arm but he yanked it out of my way before I could. “Bryan, I–”

“Don’t
! Just go.” He snapped.

For the first time
in my life, I looked into his eyes and they burned with anger. “Bryan, I know what you’re going through–”

“No
, Emily, you don’t. You have no fucking idea what I feel for you. Ohmygod, what I thought about you.” He looks disgusted. Most girls would find that offense but its right. I need to be disgusting. “Just go, Em. I have to think about this alone.” His eyes found mine. “Do my parents know?”

I nodded.
He balled his hands into fists as he clenched his jaw.

“Go.”
He said turning away from me. I walked backward toward Alex’s car automatically. I stopped to look at Bryan and he yelled, “Go!” He went into his house and slammed the front door. Bryan never yelled at me. He never talked to me like that, period. Maybe I don’t know what he’s going through. He probably felt more toward me then I know.

He needs time…just like I do.

I opened the passenger door and got into Alex’s car. He started the car without saying a word and I appreciated it. I didn’t know where we were going until I saw that he pulled into his driveway. We walked inside and I almost fell backwards from shock. My mom is sitting on the couch like she did this everyday.

“What are you doing here?” I
asked trying to calm down. I’m still mad. At everyone. They lied to me.

So I
looked at Alex. He let them come here?

“Scarlett was going to be discharged today and your
mom’s house is still under investigation. I offered mine.” Alex said glancing at my mom then back at me. “We talked at the hospital.” That’s what they were talking about when I was talking to Declan.

“Honey
, we have to talk. Declan told me.” Mom said.

“I don’t want to talk about it.
” I said shutting my eyes.
Deep breaths
. That’s what I need to do. “I know he’s my brother. I just don’t understand why no one told me. Did Dad do what he did because he found out? It’s my fault he did it.”

Mom
walked over to me. “Don’t say that. Your father was an animal. It was not your fault.” She said. I’m still confused on calling David my dad. He’s not. He never was.

“
He started hitting you because he found out, right?” I asked. She didn’t answer me and I knew the answer. It’s my fault our lives changed. Everything falls back on me.
Get use to it, Em. You’re the homewrecker.

I moved away from her and started walking up the stairs
to a house I don’t belong in. I don’t know what to do. Alex’s bedroom was the first door open so I went in. Memories of my first night here crept into my mind.

Then I saw a suitcase on the floor.

He said he wasn’t going anywhere.

“It’s yours.
” Alex said behind me. “Declan went home and brought a few things over.” That explains why his car wasn’t in the driveway. He probably got a taxi here then picked it up. He has extra keys.

I
opened up the suitcase and took out a shirt and jeans.

“Do
you mind if I take a shower?” I asked eyeing his bathroom. I could go to the one down the hall or downstairs but just the thought of using his bathroom makes me feel somewhat better. Yes, a picture of a naked, wet Alex coming out of the shower is floating around in my head.