Eternally Yours (16 page)

The breathtaking white wings have escaped my vision now and I wait, with the wind still whipping at my hair and singing as it passes over this wall. I close my eyes and try to remember what my wings looked like but what appears behind my eyelids are sparkling, black wings of smooth gossamer. They haunt me in a beautiful way, just like the boy they belong to. Before I can reminisce on the little details, Gabriel startles by popping up from nowhere right in front of me.

“Oh my gods! What. a rush!” he exclaims. He is breathing hard and my attention is brought to his muscular chest and his hard nipples. I realize that it’s not exercise that gets him pumped up, but instead I think it’s exhilaration.

When I can drag my eyes away from his chest I’m immediately distracted by the white cashmere wings that are drooping on either side of him, right next our heads. They curl at the top into little points and wisps, unlike any I have seen. Curiously, I touch his right wing and it reminds me of a little piece of a cloud, so fluffy and soft.

He shivers and laughs, “that feels weird…but not bad.”

I just smile back at a loss for words. Soon it will be my turn and the knowledge depresses me. My stomach tightens into knots and my heart rate increases. It’s going to have to happen so I should just get it over with. “Alright, my turn. Let’s do this.”

“Are you nervous?” he asks.

I raise my eyebrow, “Were you?”

He winks at me. “Remember what I said about not letting anything happen to you.”

Of course I do, how could I forget? Because I remember thinking how sure of yourself you were. ‘Pride cometh before the fall’ is one quote that comes to mind.

“Yep,” I say, popping the “p”. I step around him and walk to the edge. He comes up behind me.

“On your count,” he says.

I smile. I don’t think I’m going to do the count with him. It’s kind of special. I turn my head and look back at him.

“Where’s Mr. Cole?” I ask.

“I’m here.” A prompt reply from my left. I’m not sure how long he’s been standing there but it doesn’t really matter to me. I nod.

“I’ll be making the jump with you both, no worries,” he says.

I nod again. I walk to the very edge and stare down into the clouds. I look over my shoulder at Gabe and smirk. Gabe lets go of my waist.

And then I jump.

*~*~*~*

Tonight I do not dream of my husband releasing my wings today. I do not dream of the guilt that I feel every time I looked at his proud, excited face after we both landed and examined each other’s new wings. I do not dream of the kiss he gave me there on the ground, or how he ran his hand down my wings and I shivered. I do not dream of our flight after he got the hang of flying, and the new experiences I shared with him in the sky as we held hands flying through the air. No. What I dream of is far off in the opposite direction. I dream that I have a pair of midnight colored wings and I’m lying at the bottom of a cliff, broken and in too much pain to move. I dream that I’m so thirsty and my mouth is so dry, but no matter how much I water I drink it never quenches it. This is the worst kind of nightmare. One in which I plead with myself to wake up, deep in the back of my mind. One in which my pleads are ignored. Faces flash before me that I don’t know, the faces of
demon
s. Now I’m looking in the mirror watching blood run down my back in red rivulets as I begin to cut my wings from my back. Suddenly, I’m on my knees bawling into my hands. And then I see a familiar face. I see Lillith. The vein in her neck rises and pumps as blood passes through it. She tilts her neck to the side and my stomach cramps so bad I fall to the ground one hand holding it. She walks toward me and kneels in front of me baring her neck, causing an ache in my gums. Before I have time to question the dull ache, pain shoots through them and I taste blood in my mouth. It’s hard to recover from what feels like a razor blade cutting the sensitive tissue of your gums. Lillith cups the back of my head and eases me toward her neck. I’m so confused and alarmed but when my mouth touches her neck I instinctively bite. I can’t control my actions. My body is not my own. All I know is that the sweetest honey flows down my throat and I never want to stop drinking it. It relieves my stomach cramps and that horrid thirst that’s been slowly bringing me closer to death every day. “Shadow,” she calls me. “That’s enough.” But I don’t listen. I am greedy. I don’t want to stop. Something, a hand I think, comes between my mouth and her neck and forces me to release her. The sweet honey stops flowing when she pulls back a little to look at me. Then she pushes me on my back, coming toward me all cat like. My heart is thumping spastically and I can hear it in my ears. I’m so pumped up. Lillith crawls up between my body until she holds herself above me and slowly closes the distance. In my dream I want to kiss her but in the back of my mind I wonder if I’m going crazy. Just as I’m about to kiss her in my dream, I am woken up by someone shaking roughly.

“Finally,” Gabe hisses.

“I must have had a nightmare,” I say, confused.

“Yeah, I would say. You kept screaming out like you were in excruciating pain.”

“Hmm,” I wonder, rubbing my head. Why would I dream such a crazy ass dream? I think back to the little bit of Shadow’s story and bits and pieces of my dream all seem like bits and pieces of his story. Maybe I am just dreaming about his story? It’s just so weird and it seemed so real, me being him, living out his pain and pleasure.

“What was it about?” he asks me.

“I can’t remember now.” I lie, very un
angel
-like.

He has a suspicious look on his face, like he doesn’t believe me.

“You don’t remember seeing anything really ugly that flies and shoots arrows do you?”

“No. Why?” I ask, nervously, remembering the monster from the island that shot Shadow.

“I’ll tell you, because we talked about keeping secrets, but you can’t mention a word of this, Alexia. Promise me.”

“I promise,” I whisper.

“There have been sightings of what’s known as the Hell Horde just outside the walls. They shoot poisonous arrows that glow, and they are reddish-black with cat-like tails. They don’t have physical eyes, as they’re from Hell. We think their eyes act like heat sensors, so it’s almost impossible to hide from them.”

I didn’t know that. I guess Shadow and I are extremely lucky we were behind a waterfall. They must have not been able to sense our body heat because of the waterfall blocking the cave entrance.

I yawn. “I don’t think it was about them, but I’ll tell you if I remember it,” I tell him. I need to talk to Shadow. If I really am dreaming his memories, this could mean something far worse than just having a nightmare. I won’t even think about what I really hope is not the case.

“Alright Alexia, If I can do anything to help, I’m right here. I’m always right here,” he whispers as he lies back down behind me and cuddles up close.

I lay there until my heart slows down and his breathing becomes even. He’s asleep and I’m wide awake, because I am afraid if I fall asleep I will dream that Shadow decided to kiss Lillith. And that, for some reason, seems like it would really hurt.

Time flies. I have been here for six weeks already. It’s hard to believe it really, it seems like six months. Gabriel has rolled over in his sleep to face away from me, no matter that he went to sleep holding me. He must be awake now because he slowly rolls back towards me, careful not to wake me.

“Good morning,” I say, without turning my head to look at him. I’m staring at the ceiling with my arms behind my head.

He yawns at the same time he tries to reply and it sounds something like, “ood warie.”

“Did you have any more nightmares?”

“No, thank the gods.” I don’t tell him I didn’t get much sleep. I just lied here until the sun rose, afraid to go back to sleep. Afraid to see what would happen if I did and what else I might see, like kissing, or worse.

“Well that’s good,” he smiles. “So there is a celebration ball tonight, and everybody who’s anybody will be there. I was thinking it would be fun if you wanted to go. It would mean a new dress,” he wiggles his eyebrows.

I’ve never been to a dance; I’ve never even danced with a boy. This is when we’re supposed to try new things; this is supposed to be the time of my life. I decide that I will go, whether or not I want to.

“Sounds like it could be fun. Are Kaia and Wraith going?” I ask.

“They are,” he winks. “So we’re in?”

“Yeah,” I say, “Definitely.”

“Great!  I will call our advisor and tell him to bring up enough dresses for you and Kaia to try on.”

“Thanks Gabe.” I try to show my gratefulness by leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek, but he’s sneaky and in a playful mood, so he snuck his lips to mine before I could even land one on his five o clock shadow. Ug, ‘shadow’. I will not think of Shadow right now.

He gets dressed and walks out of the suite before I get two feet on the floor. I look around for my slippers with the clouds on them and find one peeking out from underneath the bed and one flipped over at the foot of the bed. This is going to be a long day, I can already tell.

I brush my teeth, fix my hair in a sloppy up-do, pull on a fancy yellow sundress and look for some shoes. Before I slip either foot into the yellow wedge sandals, Kaia bursts through the doors as if she owns the place.

“Hello dahling!” She flops her hand in mock prissiness. “Oh! That dress is so cute!”

“And it’s almost as cute as it is uncomfortable,” I add.

“I know, it’s not fair how we have to suffer to look so good,” she says in all seriousness. “Anyways, I come bearing gifts…” she mumbles, walking back to my doors and grabbing a cart full of beautiful ball gowns.

My breathe hitches.

“We’re lucky we wear the same size because they gave us so many to choose from. I personally love the pink one, so I hope it’s okay with you if I call dibs.”

“Yeah, I have enough pink in my closet anyways.” I know Shadow will probably be there, and I really want to impress him for some reason. I know it’s not right that I don’t think about wearing something sparkly or white for Gabriel, but I am going to have to go with something bold and daring. I just can’t help myself. Red, something whispers across my mind. Red isn’t really a color
angel
’s wear, and for whatever stupid reason that is, it matters not to me. I want a red dress.

We both start rummaging through the dresses. There are blue ones the color of the sky, green ones, silky ones, frilly ones, yellow ones, a few pink ones, a dozen white ones, some cream colored ones, and one red one. I cross my fingers that I will like the red one. I don’t want frilly and you never know if a dress is going to fit your body shape. I slowly and anxiously work my way to that red dress, not really paying any attention as I look through these other ones. I grab the red one. I pull it out and it’s breathtaking. I will be so lucky if it fits well. Either that or it is just meant to be, which makes me even more excited.

“Red, Lexi?” she seems very unsure. “Don’t you think it’s a little dark? I think it might have been left in there from the
demon
s dresses or something,” she muses.

“It’s actually kind of perfect. It’s the mood I’m in. I’ve never worn red and I’m ready to branch out, Kaia. Aren’t you tired of the same old same old? I’m just over the traditions and stereotypes. I’m ready to change things.

“Well, I guess so. If it’s what you want then I guess I can’t say anything. But what do you think Gabriel will think about it? You know you also have his reputation to uphold…and that’s all I’m saying. His dad may be there, who knows?”

Ug. I don’t really care. What Kaia doesn’t realize is that they aren’t really giving us free will to make our own decisions. Not even about these dresses. They give us the colors that they want us to wear, and none of the ones they don’t. Either way we will be wearing what they want us to wear, whether it’s pink or white. I know I’m going to draw attention when I show up in a dark color, but it was on the cart and there’s nothing they can do about it.

She takes three pink frilly dresses over to my privacy screen and starts changing into them. I take my one red dress to the bathroom and cross my fingers hoping it fits. Inside, I hastily fling the stupid sundress over my head and throw it rodeo style somewhere behind me. I pick up the dress. It’s really heavy because it’s made up of tiny black and red beads and sequins. It doesn’t reflect the light like a bright disco ball though; instead it’s more of a dark red ruby, and black marble. I flip it over to look for the zipper to find there isn’t one. I groan loudly when I see that it’s all lace up.

“What? It’s bad isn’t it?” Kaia pessimistically asks.

“No,” my voice echoes through the bathroom. “It’s just the whole thing is lace up. I’m going to need some help in here.”

“Alright, I want to show you this dress anyways. Just a sec.” she replies.

I unlace all of the straps and pull it over my head. It has a heart-shaped neckline and it laces up both of my sides and the back, where it stops in a u-shape just above my butt. A knock sounds at the bathroom door.