Evan's Addiction (28 page)

     Nic was next to me directly warning the other guys to back down.
“Don’t even think about it, assholes. He warned all of you to watch what you
say about her.” Nic was a sizable opponent at six-four and all muscle, but the
three morons were giving him a look that said they thought they could take him.

     We’d been drawing an increasing crowd and two out of the dozens of
onlookers stepped forward to lend their support. Nic and I gave Gavin and Tuck,
friends and former lacrosse teammates of ours, a nod of acknowledgment and
gratitude, and their timely appearance had the other three rethinking their
idea of fighting.

     Bending down I stared coldly at Shaw’s harasser. “You’re nothing
but a fucking liar and asshole bully, and if you say one more derogatory word
to her, or about her, I will make it so you can’t talk for weeks.”
Straightening I gave each of the other shit-knockers the same hard glare. “That
goes for every one of you, and your buttfuck lying Frat brother’s as well.”
Bending down once more I got right in Shit for Brains face and said with quiet
menace. “What Shaw was trying to tell you, but you were too stupid to catch was
that she’s been fucking with your life the same as you’ve been fucking with
hers. She’s the reason your Facebooks are fucked up, your utilities are getting
turned off, and the cops are messing with you.” Ford’s eyes narrowed in irate
confusion. “Yeah, Shit for Brains, she’s that smart…if you stop fucking with
her, she’ll stop messing with you. But if that’s not enough to convince you
then believe me when I say I will make your life hell if you don’t leave her
the fuck alone. You might have a Frat house backing you, but I have a team of
lacrosse players backing me.” I tapped his bruised cheek hard to emphasize my
point causing him to flinch in pain. “Got me?” I growled.

     After a small furious hesitation he answered, “Yeah.”

     I stood up and backed away and it appeared it was just in time
because campus security arrived. I moved in next to Shaw and she gave me an
angrily puzzled look.

     “What’s going on here, people?” Security asked walking up
scrutinizing the situation.

     “An ass convention; can’t you smell the stink.” Shaw mumbled under
her breath.

     David rubbed at her shoulder and I almost reached around to slap
his hands away. “Asses can never smell their own stink.” He leaned down and I
heard him whisper. “You okay?”

     Shaw shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

     My mouth compressed at her handling any of this shit.
Straightening my cuffs with a jerk I assumed my professional mask. “Just a
little fun that got out of hand, sorry for the disturbance.”

     They scrutinized the four dipshits, taking in how beat up they
were. Two were bloody and the other two were having a difficult time standing
straight. “Fun, huh? What do you guys have to say about it?” 

     Ford had gotten to his feet and was in a hushed heated debate with
his pals. At the security guards inquiry he scowled my way and then glared at
Shaw. I didn’t like the look in his eyes and the only thing stopping me from
pounding more ultimatums in his head were the guards. This stalker was
harboring some deep feelings for Shaw and it wasn’t all enmity. He wanted her. 

     The other three guys agreed with my account while Ford stayed
silent. Reading the animosity still in the air security told all of us disperse
from the area. Nic and I gave Gavin and Tuck fist bumps in thanks and then the
six of us walked through the lingering, gawking crowd.

     Shaw grabbed her stuff and made to go off in another direction but
I hooked her arm. “Where do you think you’re going?” My nerves were still
hopping from the anger and the fight and I had to control the power of my grip.

     She didn’t jerk out of my hold like I was contagious, but she did
stiffen and avoid my gaze. “Away. I’ve had enough for today.”

     I exhaled heavily. “I can understand that, but Shaw…I would really
like for us to talk and clear the air.” The urge to haul her away with or
without her permission was tempting. 

     Nic, Carrie, Samantha and David moved ahead to give us a moment
and I appreciated it. They’d been very indulgent allowing me to bit by bit chip
away at Shaw’s shoulder boulder, and I couldn’t deny I was hoping that smashing
Ford’s face might have knocked a good amount of it off. It wasn’t why’d I’d
done it, but I’d take the benefits from it.

     She gazed off to the side, a small line between her eyes. “You
know, I’d been looking forward to that for a year; all of them realizing that
I’d been controlling the shit going wrong in their lives. You come in, fists
blazing, threaten them and ruin months of painstaking work.” She finally looked
at me and the veil was gone from her eyes. The mix of confusion, pain, and
resentment in her gaze was my first punch of the day. She continued the hits.
“I wanted to make them leave me alone because of what I’d been doing, but instead
all they fear is getting their asses kicked again. It’s not fair. I would have
done that if I could, but I couldn’t because I’m just a vagina.” She
self-jeered.

     How the hell did sticking up for a woman turn out so badly? It was
Shaw though, so it had to be complicated…but it also made sense. These guys were
assholes and had been lying and harassing her for years. If she could have she
would have kicked their asses, but she hadn’t sat back and taken it…No, not
Shaw. She’d been sticking it to them in the only way she could…through cunning
computer harassment. All she’d wanted was for them to stop, but she wanted to
be the one responsible for making them stop.

     But I’d spoiled it for her. I didn’t regret beating the shit out
of them, but I did feel bad that Shaw’s moment had been ruined. I had to fix it
so she wouldn’t use this to drive another wedge between us.

     “Shaw, I laid-out to that shithead what you’d been doing to him
and he was still grappling with the enormity of it, but once his undersized
brain finally grasps the comprehensiveness of it he’ll realize all the laughing
you were doing behind his back. My punch might hurt for a few days, but him and
the rest of those tools will be smarting from what you did to them for years,
because if I’m imagining even a tenth of what you put those guys through then
their going to be feeling like stupid dickless stumps.”

     She was chewing on her lip looking off into the distance again,
and in that instant I knew this was my window of opportunity to find out what
her deal with me was.

     Giving her arm a soft squeeze I appealed to her. “Shaw, tell me
what I did?”

     Her gaze collided with mine and the pain, confusion, and
bitterness in them had intensified. She huffed in non-amusement. “You ran into
Ford during those weeks we first met, didn’t you?” 

     “Yes.” I answered slowly.

     She nodded like she already knew; the bitterness in her eyes
taking predominance.  “Yeah, I bet he told you lots of interesting shit about
me; things like nympho, sucks like a vacuum, has a black book of fucks, did my
high school and his entire Frat…
wild in the sack
?”

     The anger that had begun to settle flared at what had been done to
her. Shaw had been a virgin and everyone had treated her like a slut. Even if
she had slept around no one should have had to deal with persecution like that.

     “I didn’t believe a word that son of a bitch said about you,
Shaw.” I exclaimed firmly. “I might not have known you very well back then, but
anyone with half a brain could see you weren’t anything like what he was
portraying. I chalked up his shit to you rejecting him at some point.” 

     Her expression turned bitterly self-disgusted. “I wish I’d
rejected him from the beginning, but he has some truth to his words and because
of that I deserved some of what I got.”

     She was telling me she’d at one time gone out with the guy, and
done some things with him, and that left a sour taste in my mouth, for her and
me. I did not like thinking about her with that asshole, but hell, she probably
liked it even less. And what was she talking about…she didn’t deserve any of
that crap?   

     Before I could correct her she continued. “They say there’s always
a bit of truth to rumors, and I bet you were chomping at the bit to discover
what stories were true?”

     I scowled at what she thought of me. “I was chomping at the bit
for you before Ford even opened his damn mouth, Shaw. I didn’t pay attention to
anything that fuck said.”

     Her eyes went abruptly hard. “Don’t lie.” She snarled. “You wanted
to find out what dozens of other guys claimed to want to find out about
me...‘to find out if I was as wild in bed as they’d heard’.” I was shaking my
head in denial but she wasn’t done. “You said it afterwards, so stop shaking
your head.” She yelled; lip trembling, cheeks pale, eyes blazing and glassy.

     I stared at her taken aback by what I was hearing. “What are you
talking about, Shaw? I never said that.” However, my gut was twisting and
filling with bile because she looked fiercely positive. 

     Her body slumped slightly and she exhaled. “You were almost asleep
so maybe you don’t remember, but it doesn’t matter if it was a conscious or
unconscious remark; it was in your head. I was just an easy lay to you;
something to use and toss away when you were done, whether it was one night or four
weeks later. Only I didn’t get the memo on that part of the arrangement like
your other partners did. They said you were very straightforward on that matter
with them.”

     I watched her forehead pucker and I just stood there immobile,
taking her hits. She’d
spoken
with women from my past?

     She huffed out another non-laugh and locked eyes with me. The
green of her eyes was darker then I’d ever seen, and pain had taken the
forefront of the three emotions in them. “My hymen wasn’t anything special to
me, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I always thought I’d at least
give it up to someone who saw me for me and not the rumors attached to me. Oh
well,
C’est la vie
and all that shit, right?” She laughed harshly before
turning and walking away

     I stared after her staggered by what I’d learned…and the hurt in
her eyes.   

     Had I really spoken those words to her? Because I don’t remember
uttering them at all. The look on her face said she wasn’t confused about it,
and if I had then she had a reason to be furious with me, but the pain in her
eyes said it was worse than that…And that was shredding my guts. I have no idea
where my head might have been for those words to come out of my mouth.

     I wanted to run after Shaw and tell her my intentions were nobler
than all those assholes who had treated her like a slut, but were they? My past
relationships had her convinced that I’d set out to use her, and though I hated
to admit it she had a point. I’d begun my pursuit of her with the intention of
losing myself in her body. Normally the women I hooked up with were into using
me as well. However, Shaw had never been interested in using me, and she
certainly wasn’t into be used. I’d had to methodically whittle away at her
protective shield just to get her to accept me, so how did I ever think that
she would be okay with a brief fling?

     Could I convince her that my actions and feelings for her weren’t
so cut and dried? I definitely wanted the chance to.

     “Where’s Shaw going?” Carrie asked rushing over in concern. Nic,
Samantha and David were right on her heels.

     I turned to her, plans forming. “She needed some time to herself.
Carrie, I need a huge favor.”

∞                   
∞                    ∞

     Carrie opened the door and stared at me with anxious eyes. Nic
stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. “I hope I’m doing the right
thing here.” She whispered.

     I gave her a smile of gratitude as I stepped into the apartment.
“If she wants me gone I’ll go, okay? I’m not going to hold Shaw hostage in her
own home, or make her want to leave it.”

     The huge favor I’d asked Carrie for this afternoon was for her to
let me into their apartment tonight after work. This was Shaw’s domain so she
would feel comfortable here and it would also give the two of us the privacy to
talk.

     If she allowed me talk to her?

     Carrie waved me into the apartment glancing down the hall
nervously. “She’s in her room. She’d been there all afternoon glued to her
computer. I don’t know if this is the best time to do this with what happened
today. She usually gets more…introverted after a run in with that guy, or any
of those guys.”

     Anger and frustration had been riding me all day since running
into those sons’s of a bitches and hearing that didn’t help it. I hated
thinking about her dealing with those asshats alone.

     “How often did she run into them?”

     Her ice blue eyes flashed with fire. “Maybe twice a week, and that
was when I was with her. Who knows how much they bothered her when I wasn’t
around. She never wants to talk about it.”

     Damn, I wanted to find every one of those shit-lickers and make
them eat my fist. From what David said it was that ass Ford that was the
instigator in making Shaw’s life hell. He needed a serious lesson in pain. 

     “You were running into assholes like that and didn’t tell me?” Nic
turned her in his arms to scowl down at her in clear displeasure.

     She didn’t look cowed. “It was Shaw’s business.”

     “I doubt that they kept their comments exclusively for Shaw.”
Nic’s expression was heating up to extreme anger.

     The red crawling up Carrie’s face said they hadn’t. “I think we’ve
established that I can handle nasty remarks.” She was referring to the scandal
of her past and all the undeserved flak she’d received from it. “And Shaw sent
those guys running with their tails between their legs. You know how she is.”