Evernight (The Night Watchmen Series Book 2) (27 page)

His eyes shift over me and land on Jaxen, where they stay. “This class is going to require complete and total trust in me. I’m going to ask a lot from you, probably more than any instructor ever will, but in return, I can guarantee you one thing. You’ll leave my class strong, confident, and in control. You’ll leave my class being the best Elite ever known to this Coven. And, you will
not
fail your mission, each other, or yourselves.”

I swallow down the many questions that threaten to consume my imitated bravery, keeping my eyes pinned on the horizon. I imagine that I can do anything, be anything, and in that thought, I center myself. I find my balance. I don’t want to be a victim anymore. I don’t want to be the sad girl with the lost parents and freakish abilities.

“I want each of you to close your eyes and think about what scares you the most. Let it fill you up. Let it absorb your rationality until you can’t process a single, feeble thought. Get that adrenaline pumping. Let it fill your muscles and calm your mind so you can see clearer, sharper.”

A sharp, cool breeze whips past me, blowing my hair into my face. I can’t find one thing in particular that scares me the most. My parents dying, losing Jaxen, turning into a monster, failing everyone… they’re all on equal levels for me.

“With your eyes closed, take three strides forward. Do not peek, or I will fail you from this class and send your asses back to Watchmen duties.”

I take my three steps, listening to the uneven sounds of the other’s footsteps. My heart speeds up with every step as the ledge appears in the forefront of my mind. I know it’s only a step or two away from me now. Death… it’s only one unforeseen shove away.

“By now, your hearts are probably in adrenaline mode. You know the ledge is close. You know I could push you, and you would only have your magic and your partner to rely on.” I feel him lean into me. “I see your heart beating through your neck. I smell your fear. Good.”

He steps back. “I want you to take your fears and discomfort, and channel it. Rein it in.”

I focus on my thundering heart. I imagine the adrenaline pumping through my veins, strengthening me beyond any magic. Fear wants to hold me down, but I don’t have to let it. I can continue to grow, to try and change my future by learning from my past.

I can be better.

“Tune into your surroundings,” the general continues, his voice drifting from all around us. “Use the adrenaline your body is feeding you to see past magic. To see past human and paranormal falsities, because when you’re out in the field on an Elite mission and you get separated from your partner, your adrenaline and your knowledge will be all you have left to survive.”

I feel him behind me. I sense his hand lifting, drifting toward my back, and I spin fast, bringing my arm out just enough to push him away from me. The moment my hand connects with his chest, I regret it. He flies back and lands against an air vent.

I should never touch an elder that way. I should never fight against them… but a small part of me, a part that’s buried under all the rules and regulations fed to me since birth felt… it felt freed.

General Sterling surprises me with a smile followed by a small chuckle as he picks himself up off the ground. “Well, well, the mouse has wit after all.”

The others open their eyes and look over at us, trying to guess what just happened. I sense Jaxen’s eyes on me, feeling his gaze surveying every inch of me, checking off some mental checklist he keeps tucked away in the dark recesses of his mind.

“The Coven wants you to believe you need your partner for your magic and strength. They want you to be dependent on your magic,” General Sterling says on an even tone. “But that’s not the truth. You can sense without magic. You can fight without it, and you can surely survive without it. That’s what this class will teach you. That’s what you’ll need before heading into this godforsaken mission.”

His words pull like a string of hope. Lifting my spine, straightening my shoulders out. He paces the length of the ground in front of us, and then stops by Gavin.

“Head down to the simulation room. I want you to each run through the programmed simulation for the Holy Seal so that I may assess you. I can’t help you if I don’t know your weak points. Tomorrow, we start fresh.”

HOURS LATER, I FIND MYSELF standing statue-still, clutching onto a wooden flux.

“Well, that was fun,” Weldon says with a sardonic smile. The simulated church disappears, and the metal walls of the training room reappear. “You do realize that not moving isn’t a viable defense mechanism when there’s a group of Darkyns dragging your partner and friends off, don’t you?”

“I know,” I say as I hang my head and exhale a resigning breath. The feeling of defeat has become as common as breathing for me.

We were the last to go in General Sterling’s assessment, and the only pair to fail miserably. All because of me. All because I froze up. There are too many things racing through my mind, too many objectives that I want to achieve and not enough time to achieve them in.

I brace myself when the door flies open to the room, and the general walks in. His face is stern, his eyes shielded. I wait for the moment he points out just how much of a screw up I am, but the moment never comes. He stops abruptly in front of me and twirls the end of his mustache.

Weldon stands a little straighter… straighter than I think I’ve ever seen him stand before.

“I want you two to spend the next hour getting to know each other, away from the rest of your crew. You need to learn about each other.” He directs his straight-faced gaze over to Weldon. “You’re half-demon, correct?”

Weldon nods sharply, pulling his feet together.

“Yet, you didn’t use that part of yourself,” the general points out.

Weldon shifts his weight. “Well, I try not to tap into that part of myself. It’s not something I feel I should use. It’s not… natural.”

“Nonsense!” the general says, dropping his hand to his side. “Any ability, whether naturally given, or wrongfully given, is still an ability worth using. You’re cutting yourself short, just like your partner here, by not allowing yourself to be who you
really
are.”

Weldon eyes me sidelong, and then dips his head down.

“And your natural-given partner…” the general drags out.

“She’s held up in the Underground, sir,” Weldon answers. His tone makes me glance over at him out of the corner of my eye. A strange, painful poking feeling stabs at my sides. At my heart. I’m no stranger to loss. To that awful monster who hides in the corner, waiting for that moment when you least expect it to come thrashing out and steal the ground right out from under you. It’s always there, always hovering close by, holding the small piece of your heart that it ripped out.

Reminding you that in the end, death is inescapable.

The general sucks in a sharp breath as his lips dip southward. “I’m sorry to hear that, son,” he says, placing a heavy hand on Weldon’s shoulder. “It’s never easy losing a partner. It took me eight years to adjust to losing mine.”

My eyebrows crease together. Weldon’s does too. I think my heart is drowning in endless, grieving tears.

The general’s eyes grow distant. “She was a hell of a woman. A wonder of a Witch. A Were got a hold of her. Bit her. Took her away from me in all the ways that count.” I notice his hand by his side. His thumb twirls a ring around the finger of left his hand.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I say, keeping my eyes distant from his. I can’t keep my thoughts from drifting to my parents. My stomach is clenched up in knots so tight I can barely breathe.

He sucks in a deep breath, pulling himself back together. “It was long ago.” He releases his hand from Weldon’s shoulder. “I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. Get to know her. You don’t need to be magically connected to make a good pairing.”

“Yes, sir,” Weldon responds, his voice thick with choked-back emotions. I’ve never heard him so respectful… so… so serious. It makes me wonder about him… wonder all the things I haven’t learned about him yet. His ticks. His likes and dislikes.

“If you don’t mind my asking, how do you function without her? Aren’t you powerless?” Weldon asks.

“Are you?” the general counters.

“I don’t really count,” Weldon says. “The demon part of me allows me to use my Hunter abilities even without being connected to Claire. It’s cheating.”

“It’s tactical,” the general corrects. “Although I don’t have my Hunter abilities anymore, I still have my wit. My logic. That’s why the Priesthood has kept me around. They value my ability to teach our Elite how to survive without magic. They find it priceless.”

“Priceless… I’m sure,” Weldon bites off. “The Priesthood values anything that benefits them. The rest is just garbage. We’re easily disposed of. I find it funny that they pick and choose which handicap to value.”

The general takes in a breath. Opens and closes his mouth as if he’s fighting with himself on whether or not he wants to say what he needs to say next. Shadows seem to settle over his features. A thick tension fills the room.

“Sometimes… sometimes, I wonder if those Werewolves were sent out on purpose. Occasionally, I wonder if I was just a part of an experiment to see if we
can
function as Primevals even after our partners and capabilities are taken away. At times, I even wonder if the Priesthood inflicts handicaps as a way of maintaining control.”

I don’t know what to say… what to think about that.

“You don’t think…” Weldon begins to say.

The general shakes his head like he’s shaking away a distant memory. “No,” the general finishes with a forced smile. “It’s just me rambling. Talking about my beloved always stirs something in me.” He inhales and smoothes back his hair. “You’ll find the rest of your crew in the weight room when you’re done. I want each of you to go through all the set routines, and then report back to me in the am. Good day.” He dips his head and walks out of the room.

Weldon and I stand there for a moment, neither of us saying a word. I contemplate mentioning Clara, but stop because bringing Clara up means bringing up Claire—his lost partner. Instead, I bite my tongue, waiting for him to make the first move.

“That was unexpectedly deep,” he says on a released breath. Sitting down on the padded mat, he stretches one leg out in front of him.

“Tell me about it,” I say, playing it cool. I sit next to him, pulling my knees up to my chest.

He twirls his wooden flux on his leg, propping his arm up on the other leg he brought up to his chest. “I didn’t know he had it in him.”

“There are many layers to each of us, Weldon. It’s what makes us alive, real, human.”

He looks over at me and I swear there’s a sheen of regret and sorrow in his eyes, but he blinks too quickly for me to be sure. “Yeah,” he says, his tone low, sad. “Many, many layers.”

I search my brain for something to say, anything that can connect me to this moment, and to him, but for once in my life, I’m falling short. The quiet between us is so stiff. There’s so much that I don’t know about him, and I’m too scared to ask.

He heaves a sigh. “I guess I’ll go first. Claire was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid my eyes on.”

I look over at him, moving just enough to open up to him and show him that I’m all ears.

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, shifting a little. “She had this aura about her, this fierceness that drove me wild. Hell, she drove all the guys wild. She was like a tigress, dominating every class she took, and taking no shit from anyone. The Academy was her territory, but it was still too small for her. She needed—she needed more. Freedom to roam. Freedom to hunt.

“I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her that I was going to marry her, even before the Culling deemed her my partner. I remember picking my way through the crowd of novices, thinking what a joke this place was to myself, and how Mack would have loved it. My parents didn’t bother coming. After Mack disappeared, they kind of strayed off the radar, so I just, you know, went to see what all the hype was about.

“Anyway, I was about to leave when I spotted her getting out of a car. It was like her presence sucked the air right out of my lungs. She was that beautiful. That stunning. She wore tight, black leather pants, and a gray T-shirt that hugged her just right. I remember her hair was this perfect golden hue that was as bright as the sun. Long, wavy, and shaped around the most perfect face. I couldn’t move. She was walking straight toward me, and I couldn’t move.