Every Day is Like Doomsday (17 page)

Innya closed her eyes and thought for a moment.
Her mind quickly made the leap from her original plan of
making Elliot seem like a bad ass to a new plan where the
old Elliot would die, only to be resurrected into his new
Villain persona. Though all of her ideas were sheer genius
she thought she liked this plan even better than the first.
“I can make this work,” said Innya, “Here is what will
happen. Quack, tell no one that Elliot is here.”
“Whatever. Though we’re supposed to notify a student’s family if they get sick or hurt.”
“My father doesn’t give a shit,” said Elliot. His eyes
were still closed but his mouth was twisted in bitterness.
“But I should still call him.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Innya said. “You should rest.”
And to Quack, “Hide him as best you can and answer no
questions. I’ll be back when I can.”
And then she left. She did not wait around to hear
any arguments against her plan because there was no
room for argument. She headed back to her room, wondering if Dopple and the Twins had made it back to the
bus in time and wondering how she would punish them
if they hadn’t.
Once safely ensconced in her room with the door
locked she opened her backpack and dumped the stacks
of bills on the bed. It wasn’t a lot, maybe about $30,000 or
so, but it would do just in case something happened and
she had to get out of the country in a pinch.
She would have hidden the money in her underwear drawer but she thought that being in a school with
boys made that a potential first target in any sort of panty
raid. She had seen those movies about college life and
panty raids. And a panty raid organized by Villains would
probably involve more than petty theft. So after dividing
the money and hiding some of it in a tampon box, some
in a box of maxi pads and the rest in a Ziploc baggie taped
to the inside of the toilet tank, she picked up her room
phone and dialed the number for the local newspaper.
“Hello, I’d like to report a death.”
“Excuse me? Shouldn’t you be calling the police?”
“This is important. Do you want the story or not?”
“Sure, we do. Please continue.”
“Today Elliot Vane, Senator Vane’s son, was killed
in a training exercise organized by the VA at the National
Bank and Trust.”
“Wait a minute… What?” the person asked. “Senator Vane’s kid? He’s one that’s been on the news?”
“Yes,” said Innya.
“And how do you know this?”
“I was there. He was robbing the bank and a wall
fell on him. He is most definitely dead.”
“If I need to get in touch with you again for more
clarification how would I do that?”
“You wouldn’t,” she said and hung up.
Using her smart phone she quickly looked up the
number for Senator Vane’s central campaign office and
called it. It didn’t even ring before someone answered.
“You’re calling form the VA. Let me guess… You’ve
borrowed someone’s phone, Elliot,” said the man. It
reminded Innya of a computerized phone voice and she
instantly knew that it belonged to Craig. She had been
planning on leaving a cryptic message about Elliot’s
death with some random campaign worker but now she
had to change her tactic.
She recovered quickly and said in a deep voice,
“This isn’t Elliot. Tell the senator that his son is dead.”
“The Senator doesn’t care,” said Craig and then he
hung up.
Innya stared at the phone for a moment before
hanging it up. Elliot was right, she thought, his father is
an asshole. Oh well, she had done what she could. She
grabbed her backpack and headed to the break in the
fence. She had some shopping to do.

Elliot had been out of the infirmary and living in
Innya’s room with her for a week and he had to admit
that he was getting used to not having to wear his secret
armor all the time. Of course, if Innya kept punching him
for messing up he’d have to start wearing it again.

“Why are you walking like you have a stick up
your
muca
?” she asked, “You’re supposed to look cool and
unconcerned, not constipated. Do it again!”

Elliot sighed, turned around and walked across her
room once more, trying to move as he imagined a Villain
would, with confidence, with his shoulders back and his
head high. Apparently it still wasn’t right because Innya
punched him in the arm as he passed by her.

“Now you look like a little girl balancing books on
her head, you sissy,” she said.
That was it. Elliot stalked over to her, put his face
right in front of hers, and said darkly, “If you do not stop
hitting me I refuse to be held accountable for my actions.
A man can only take so much.”
Innya grinned. “Now
that
is what I’m talking about.
Whatever you just did was perfect. You were so angry, so
forceful, yet completely natural. That’s what it takes. Just
don’t try so hard.” She pushed Elliot away from her and
said, “I’m leaving now.”
“I’m tired of being cooped up in here,” said Elliot,
flopping down on the second bed in Innya’s room where he
had spent most of the past week watching all of the zombie
movies and reading all of the zombie books that Innya had
collected for him. He appreciated her attention but living
with her had been a drain on his energy. Or perhaps it was
living with this insanely hot chick who had no qualms
about changing her clothes in front of him but not being
able to make a move on her because he was still too messed
up to make a move and because he valued his life.
“Too bad. You’re not ready for prime time, Frankenstein.”
“I thought I was the Zombie,” said Elliot.
“Yes, but I’m making you, therefore you’re Frankenstein.”
Elliot smiled, cocky now that she was playing in
his territory. “Actually, Dr. Frankenstein was the mad scientist. The monster was Frankenstein’s monster. A lot of
people get that confused.”
Innya narrowed her ice blue eyes and Elliot stared
back defiantly into them. He was through letting her push
him around. She seemed to realize that he wasn’t going to
flinch and sighed sharply. “Whatever, nerd. Stay here and
don’t fuck anything up.”And then she left, but Elliot swore
there was the faintest hint of a smile on her pouty pink lips.
The door closed. Elliot was proud of himself for
standing up to her. For the first time since hearing Innya’s
plan to resurrect him as a Villain called “The Zombie” he
felt like he might be able to pull it off. All he had to do
was channel the anger he had always swallowed in his
past and he would have a wealth of hatred from which to
draw as he created his new persona. He was angry with
his mother for dying so young and leaving him with an
absent father. He was angry with his father for being a
distant, self-serving asshole. He was angry at his friends
for lying to him and leading him on.Thinking about these
things made his face feel hot. His fingers clenched in his
lap and eventually he had to get up and move.
He was angry that he had been such an idiot as
to get caught. He was angry that he had been sent to
this school where people wanted him dead for no reason
whatsoever.
His legs shook as he started to pace the small, litter-strewn space of Innya’s room, trying to work out the
aggression that was building within him. But he had kept
it bottled for so long that now he couldn’t contain it any
longer. With a scream of repressed rage he lashed out and
swept his hands across Innya’s desk, knocking everything
to the floor. He stood over the mess, panting, wondering
if Innya would be angry when she came back. Then he
decided that he didn’t care if she was angry. It needed to
be done so he did it. And he had never felt more alive.
Guilt bounded in on the heels of that thrill and he
started to pick up the mess he had made.But after only a few
seconds he realized what he was doing and stopped.Innya’s
words rang in his head and he finally understood them.
Villains don’t apologize, she had told him time and
time again. Villains take what they want and do as they
please without asking. If Elliot was going to pretend to be
a Villain he had to start thinking like one. Innya was right:
she wasn’t going to always be there to protect him so he
needed to learn to take care of himself. If he postured well
enough he figured the others might leave him alone. This
was his one chance,a rebirth into something else.He threw
down the papers that he had gathered and instead opened
all of the drawers in Innya’s desk in search of stashed-away
food. And that was when Innya walked in.
“What are you doing?” she demanded.
Elliot stood up and turned around. He hadn’t heard
the door opening. His first instinct was to apologize.
Instead he said, “I’m hungry and you always have food
hidden somewhere.”
Innya walked in and shoved a Styrofoam container
into his gut. He caught it with his hands before it fell and
caught a whiff of eggs and pancakes. Instead of apologizing he carried the food to the bed, sat down and started
eating. As he shoveled the eggs into his mouth he became
aware that Innya was watching him with a very strange
look in her eyes.
After a long time she asked, “What happened to
my desk?”
Elliot shrugged. It was kind of fun not caring about
anything. “I got angry. I took it out on your desk. If you
ask me it’s an improvement.” At any moment he expected
to have his ears boxed so he didn’t even bother to look
up at her. Instead he opened the container of food and
started to eat.
Innya stood over the mess for a long time, just looking, then she turned towards him and said, “Interesting.”
Elliot finally looked up from his food to see her staring at him, a strange expression on her face that hovered
between anger, pride and curiosity. “What’s interesting?”
he asked with a full mouth.
Innya crossed the distance between them in only a
few steps. Elliot set his food aside and stood up at her
approach.He was at least a foot taller than her and was sick
of her intimidation tactics. It was time he acted like a man.
Innya said nothing for several long seconds. Her
lips twisted into a smile as she stared at him but the smile
never touched her eyes. “Are you going to watch the movies I bought for your research?” she asked suddenly.
“No,” said Elliot, probably a tad too defiantly than
was warranted but he wasn’t about to take it back.
“Are you going to read any of the new books?”
“No.”
Her smile widened. “Are you going to practice anything at all?”
“Not. A. Thing.”
“You’re learning,” Innya practically purred as she
stepped in closer to him and pressed her breasts against
his chest. “I like this new assertiveness in you. But just
one more thing before I go…”
“Yeah?” Elliot asked. He was afraid to say anything
else, afraid his voice would crack.
Suddenly and without warning Innya punched him
in the stomach. It stole the wind from his lungs and his
diaphragm started to spasm. He went down, clutching
his stomach with both hands and gasping for air.
“You can do whatever you want once you have the
right persona. The other students will worship you. But
remember where you came from. And don’t fuck with me.”
Innya stepped over his legs and left, slamming the
door behind her. Elliot spent several more minutes huddled on the floor until he could breathe easily again. He
tried not to think about how he hadn’t been able to fight
back, hadn’t said anything in his defense, how he had just
taken the punch and went down. He finished his breakfast and went into the bathroom to wash his hands and
saw the box of black hair dye that Innya had bought for
him for when he finally came out as The Zombie. He had
balked at the idea at first but now; looking at his reflection
in the mirror, at his plain brown hair and overall vanilla
sense of style he thought, fuck it, you only live once.
It was time he started living.

“I can fill the void in your heart left empty by
Elliot’s death.”
Innya looked up to see Dopple’s impassive body settling into Elliot’s vacant seat in Evil Science. She raised
an eyebrow at his presumptuousness. “What void? What
on earth gives you the idea that I am empty?”
“You have been alone since he died.”
“Apparently I didn’t kick you hard enough in the
balls the first time. Would you like me to do it again?”She
smiled a dazzling smile as he winced at the mere memory
of the pain that had made him cry out like a little girl and
drop to his knees.
She found it funny he should choose this day to
finally hit on her. Elliot had been “dead” for three weeks
now and in his absence the only thing that had changed
was that she had no one with whom she could share her
snarky comments about everyone else. Elliot was the perfect companion because he was so unassuming and such
a Norm that it allowed her to completely monopolize the
conversation and be generally snotty to him and he’d still
be her friend.
Innya smiled at the thought. She had a friend. The
idea was preposterous only a couple of months ago but
now she liked to imagine having a friend. It was an interesting change from being the only person in her life. She
was still the most important, of course, but sometimes it
was fun to think about someone else and imagine how
Elliot thought of her.The look on his face when he looked
at her was like a personal daily affirmation.
“You need a lab partner and mine is unappealing
to me.”
“Why does your lab partner need to be appealing?
I don’t believe that was part of the criteria for picking a
partner.”
“I like appealing,” Dopple said with as flat an affect
as she had ever heard.
“Why, because it makes you look more alive?”
“Well then, sign me up, because I would love to feel
more alive,” said a voice from behind them. Innya stifled
a smile as she turned around. He has perfect timing, I’ll
give him that, she thought.
Elliot stood in the doorway. After he had dyed
his hair she had trimmed it so that it would always look
messy, like he had just woken up. She had also bought
him some black jeans that clung to his skinny legs and a
tight black T-shirt. A black leather jacket and motorcycle
boots topped off the outfit. The best part was that it was
so cliché that she knew the other Villains would eat it up.
It had actually been nice having Elliot living in her
room since his discharge from the infirmary. She had even
taught him how to put makeup around his eyes that didn’t
make him look too much like a junkie glam rocker. And
now here he was: the product of much deep thought, an
ass-kicking, a near-death experience and solid, hard work.
He was her vision. Now he just had to not screw it up.
Elliot’s sudden appearance had the intended effect.
Red dropped the pen he had been chewing on and it
clattered to the desk. But that was the only noise in the
classroom. Red’s eyes were wide and more than a little
nervous. Innya ate it up and she could tell from Elliot’s
stance that he was loving it, too. Somehow her training,
or maybe her unflinching cruelty, had unlocked the inner
performer within him and she tried very hard not to
beam with pride.
Lester whimpered and she glanced at him. He
seemed to be frowning beneath his folds of skin.The entire
class had stopped working on their projects and turned
towards the door. No one spoke, which was an impressive
feat considering it was a room full of Villains. They were
freaked out. Innya could feel the ripples of fear and excitement running like electric currents through the room.
“Mr. Vane?” asked the teacher, confused. “You’re
dead.”His tone was blunt,as if just by telling Elliot that he
was dead Elliot would drop down and once more become
the corpse he was supposed to be. Innya had deliberately
planned Elliot’s transformation for this morning because
she knew that this teacher would be the most bothered
by it due to his OCD tendencies, which kept him from
pursuing his dream of world domination through science
all these years. The teacher’s face grew red.
Elliot took a few shuffling steps into the room
and the entire class winced. For what it was worth, his
zombie shuffle was much more realistic than it had been
when they had started working on it. Now it had a certain, “I just crawled out of a grave,” feeling to it. But
sheesh, you’d think their classmates had never seen a
man rise from the dead before. She actually lost what
little respect she had for her peers. It wasn’t as if she had
respected them to begin with but what kind of Villains
were they to be cowering on the other side of the room
and afraid to return to their seats just because one of the
undead walked through the door.
She broke the silence with their rehearsed dialogue.
“So, I guess you weren’t lying.”
“Told you I could come back,”Elliott said. His voice
was hoarse and gravelly, also a practiced put-on. His face
had many healing injuries, some from the beating she had
given him the night before the robbery and some from the
collapsing wall.The bruises around his black eye had turned
deep purple with a yellow undertone and the eye was now
barely swollen. His fat lip was healing nicely, with just a
thin line of scabs to show where it had been split open. His
left cheek was a mottled map of purple, black, yellow and
red and his eyes were bloodshot.Add to that his blue-black
hair, his black eye makeup and painted black fingernails,
and he looked like sexy hell. She wanted to jump his bones.
But first thing was first.
Elliot walked farther into the room, gaining confidence with every step, his movements becoming less jerky
as he warmed up. He approached his seat then seemed
to realize that Dopple was in it. Innya held her breath,
intrigued by what he might do since Dopple’s appearance
was not something they had rehearsed.
Dopple sat there,stunned and terrified,but didn’t move.
“You are in… my seat,” rasped Elliot. It sounded
very cool and she was so proud of him she felt like she
might burst. There was no hint of the old Elliot in the
pseudo-Villain standing before her. She had done well.
Dopple jumped off of the seat and Innya swore that
for a moment there was an actual expression on his face.
He scurried off so quickly she couldn’t be sure but she
thought it looked a little like abject terror. The thought
tickled her.
Elliot sat stiffly in his seat. After a while when no
one moved or even spoke Elliot turned toward them
and gave them one of his angriest looks, which actually
looked pretty convincing considering the mess of his face,
and demanded, “What… are you looking… at?”
“Dude-you’re a zombie!” said Red and the look on
his face was classic, about as close to awe as Innya had
ever thought that he was capable of.
“I’m not… a zombie,” said Elliot, “I’m… the zombie king… bitch.” He added that last bit – it wasn’t in
their original script. Innya rolled her eyes and thought he
was laying it on a bit thick but the others ate it up. They
gravitated towards bravado even if it was false.
At this statement the pall broke and the students
regained their normal cocky attitudes, albeit somewhat
hesitantly. There was nervous laughter. Red, pretending
that nothing was wrong with it, slapped Elliot on the
back and said loudly, “Welcome to the club, finally.”
“That is the coolest superpower I have ever seen,”
said Crusher, who batted her eyes and cracked her enormous fingers in some bizarre courting display. Innya
wanted to vomit and then drown Crusher in that pool of
vomit for daring to flirt with her man. Then she stopped
and marveled that she thought Elliot was her man. Well,
she told herself, you did just create him, it’s only right that
he be yours forever.
“Come on now. Show’s over. Take your seats,” said
Professor Boom and everyone settled down, though she
noticed that Lester looked extra-disturbed as he sat down
on the stool that was still attached to his straightjacket by
chains. This proved the theory that strapping him to his
chair didn’t help at all. It was like strapping an elephant to
a sapling. Innya imagined the reason that Lester looked so
sad was because he still wanted to eat Elliott but was now
afraid all the little parts of him would stay alive in his stomach and when he pooped them out they would re-form and
kick his ass. Lester appeared to be debating whether or not
this was the proper course for his life to take.
As the class started Innya met Elliot’s eyes. He gave
her a little half-smile and she returned it. The plan had
worked. No one would mess with him now, at least not
for a while. He was as safe as he could be considering he
was still a lamb among lions. And now that she didn’t feel
like she had to save his ass every five seconds she could
concentrate on her more important goals, such as figuring
out who wanted Elliot dead and why.